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By Mike Johnson on 2007-02-11 23:00:00

Mike Tenay and Don West previewed the card.

They aired a video feature on Christy Hemme's recent storyline.

Christy Hemme vs. Big Fat Oily Guy: Tuxedo Match

When Hemme came to the ring, they showed a fan holding a sign that said, "We Are Wrestling." Oh, the irony. Oily started gyrating, so Hemme slapped him. Hemme missed a charge in the corner. Oily ripped off her jack. Hemme ripped off his shirt. The crowd began booing the hell out of the segment. Hemme tried to monkeyflip Oily but it went to hell. She tried again but this time he remembered the spot and ripped her pants off. Hey I want to see Hemme half naked as much anyone (trust me, I love this woman!) but this isn't the way or the place. This is terrible beyond belief and I'm embarrassed for Hemme. Hemme went for a high cross bodyblock but was caught and slammed. Oily missed a big splash. Hemme went for a sunset flip (Why? You can't win by pinfall) but Oily dropped down on her face. Thankfully, Hemme ripped off his pants. At some point, there was a small "F*** Vince Russo" chant.

Your winner, Christy Hemme!

Can someone, anyone, please, please, please explain to me why Jim Cornette, wrestling purist, would book this?

Hemme grabbed the mic and said she wasn't done. VKM's music hit and Kip James came to the ring. Kip mocked her, saying it took talent to beat the Big Fat Oily Guy. Kip said that wasn't what the fans came to see. Don West said, "That's for sure." Kip James said, "Let me show you what these people came to see" and then introduced Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles in a surprised 30 minute bout. Oh wait, sorry, I was dreaming for a second.

Kip asked them to play some music and began dancing, then ripped Hemme's clothes off. Hemme left the ring upset.

We went backstage to the Viewing Party for the Eric Young/Ms. Brooks video. Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, Kevin Nash and Leticia were watching. Ms. Brooks was on the phone talking to Eric Young and told him she was excited to see himand to hurry up. She checked herself in the mirror and said, "Do I look OK?" Shelley said, "I've seen better." She told him to shut up.

Someone knocked at the door...and they went to a video feature on Team Eckstein vs. Team Pierzynski. Uh, this is PPV guys, you don't need to spread out the segments to build the audiences' interest - you have our money!

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