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By Mike Johnson on 2017-01-29 19:27:00

30 Man Royal Rumble for Wrestlemania 33 main event championship match: The Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg, WWE United States champion Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman,  Sami Zayn, WWE Intercontinental champion Dean Ambrose, The Miz, The New Day, Dolph Ziggler, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, Luke Harper, Cesaro, Sheamus, Big Cass, Rusev, Big Show, Baron Corbin, Mojo Rawley competing.  8 competitors remain unannounced.

They gave Jerry Lawler his own entrance as he joined the announcers.

They pushed that Philly would host the Rumble next year.

Drawing #1 was Big Cass.  Enzo came out with him and they did all their entertaining mic work.  They got the crowd to sing "Deep in the Heart of Texas" right out of Pee Wee's Big Adventure.  Cass promised he was going to win.

Drawing #2 was Chris Jericho.

The top three surprises fans wanted to see, based on our poll this week, were, in order, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle and Finn Balor.

Cass and Jericho battled back and forth. 

#3 was Kalisto, who came in with a leaping kick on Cass.  He was dispatched quickly.  Jericho chopped away at Cass and punched him in the corner.

#4 was Mojo Rawley.    He hit the Pounce on Kalisto right away.  He nailed Jericho and began exchanging punches with Cass.  Cass tried to muscle him over in the corner.  Jericho joined in but instead went after Cass and Mojo assisted him.  They noted Jericho just passed the time that HHH had set as the record for most time spent competing in the Rumble.

#5 was Jack Gallagher who was not previously announced.  He nailed a rana on Kalisto and drilled him with the umbrella.  Jericho blasted him from behind.   Jericho stood over him so Gallagher drilled him in the groin with the umbrella and dropkicked him.   Kalisto kicked off Cass in the corner but was slammed down by Cas.  Mojo went after Cass and tried to toss him over.  Cass nailed him with right hands.

#6 was Mark Henry, who was not previously announced.   Henry hit an Avalanche in the cofrner on Cass and faced off with Gallagher, launching him out of the ring by tossing him through the ropes.  He wasn't eliminated obviously.   Henry drilled Jericho with headbutts.  Cass nailed him with right hands.  Gallagher tried to come off the top with the umbrella open but was caught and tossed by Henry.

Gallagher is eliminated.

#7 was Braun Strowman.  He ran over Kalisto.  Mojo tried to nail several shoulderblocks to no effect and was chokeslammed down.  Mojo was tossed and eliminated.  Cass missed a big boot and was caught up on the top rope.  Braun clotheslined him to the floor and eliminated him.  Kalisto took the fight to him and was tossed over the top with a beel to the floor, knocking down everyone who had just been eliminated.

Henry and Braun faced off and battled.  Henry was tossed over the top but held onto the apron.  Braun knocked him off the apron.  Four eliminations in two minutes.  Jericho ran and hid.

#8 was Sami Zayn.  They exchanged punches but Braun just took him down.  Sami kicked off Braun's charges in the corner.  Everyone was singing "Ole Ole Ole."  Braun went for a suplex but Sami slipped out and sent him into the ringpost shoulder-first.  Zayn tried to dump him but Braun fought him off and drilled him with a big boot.  He nailed Sami with a running clothesline in the corner. 

#9 was Big Show.  They faced off and battled.  Jericho got involved but was dispatched.  Straun was able to toss Show over the top.

#10 was deservedly Tye Dillinger from NXT, making his debut (as long as you ignore that WWE ECW Gavin Spears stuff) on the main roster.  He was not advertised.  He and Sami tried to double team Strowman but were double suplexed.

#11 was James Ellsworth, who was not advertised.  Carmella came out with him.  He didn't want to get into the ring.  Strowman stared down at him.  Sami and Tye tried to dump him from behind but he was able to save himself. 

Strowman worked them over.  Ellsworth remained on the floor.

#12 was Dean Ambrose.  Dean told Ellsworth they could team up and psyched him up.  He remained behind when James hit the ring.  Braun picked up Ellsworth and tossed him over the top to the floor in rude fashion.  Ellsworth is eliminated.

Ambrose came off the ropes with an elbow and took the fight to Braun with a series of rights.  He was grabbed by the hair but nailed a kick.  Dean, Tye and Sami all triple-teamed Strowman.  

#13 was Baron Corbin.  He joined the fray in attacking Strowman who broke free and everyone went flying.  He tossed Dillinger, who the crowd hated seeing eliminated.  Everyone drilled Braun with clotheslines in the corner, followed by a Helluva Kick.  Corbin tossed Strowman over the top with a running clothesline, which got a big pop.

Sami after Ambrose and tried to toss him.

#14 was New Day's Kofi Kingston.  Cue the crazy near-elimination stunt.  He tossed Zayn over the top but Zayn saved himself and tried to toss Dean.  Sami and Kofi battled but Corbin nailed them both from behind.  Jericho is still out on the floor and has yet to return.  Dean sent Corbin to the corner but he slid under the ropes, hit the floor and rebounded into a running charge, taking out Dean.

#15 was The Miz.

Miz hit the ring and nailed Zayn with the Skull Crushing Finale.  He clotheslined Kofi and tried to toss Ambrose over the top to the floor.  He nailed Corbin with a series of kicks in the corner.  He nailed Sami and charged Baron but was hit with the Deep Six in spectacular fashion.  Corbin tossed Kofi off and tried to force him over the top to the floor.  Kofi, on the top rope, kicked him off and backed away to the top of the ringpost.  Corbin swept his legs.  Kingston crashed to the top of the ringpost but held on.  He came off the top with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin.

#16 was Sheamus, who was not advertised.    That's five of the eight mystery competitors.  Sheamus worked over Miz and nailed a Brogue Kick on Jericho.  Sami and Dean tried to toss Sheamus.  Kofi battled Baron.  Miz recovered in the corner.

#17 was New Day's Big E.    Everyone battled.

#18 was Rusev, who was wearing a face guard from the broken nose he apparently received on Raw.    He nailed a leaping splash on everyone battling in the corner and tried to toss Sheamus, who saved himself.   He did the same to Zayn, who landed on the apron and saved himself.  Everyone battled.

#19 was Cesaro, who was not advertised.  That's six of the eight mystery competitors.  He hit the big swing on Miz, then on Sami.  He then gave the same treatment to Dean.   Then Kofi.  He then went for Baron.  Then, he went to do it to his own partner, who begged off.  Cesaro looked to the crowd for guidance but before he could make a decision, Rusev drilled him with a kick.  He tried to toss Cesaro, but Sheamus saved him.  Miz tried to work over Dean.

I have to say, Jerry Lawler has been a joy to listen to during the match. 

#20 was Xavier Woods.  New Day went to work on Sheamus.  Cesaro tried to toss Big E but was able to hang on.  Corbin and Rusev battled.  Big New Day chants.  Kofi and Xavier worked over the Miz with Big E. 

#21 was Bray Wyatt.  The entrance looked awesome in the Alamodome.  He grabbed Miz for a Uranage immediately.  Bray swung at everyone.  He and Xavier Woods faced off.  He charged Bray but was caught in Sister Abigail.  Woods slipped out and nailed a right hand.  Wyatt drilled him with a clothesline.  Cesaro and Sheamus battled New Day.  Bray battled Corbin. 

#22 was Apollo Crews.    He nailed a leaping kick on Corbin.  The crowd began chanting for Goldberg.  Sheamus and Cesaro eliminated all three members of New Day with clothesline at the same time.  Jericho ducked behind and tossed Sheamus and Cesaro over the top.  The former tag champs began arguing at ringside with each other.

#23 was Randy Orton.  Big pop for him.  He clotheslined everyone he came in contact with and nailed Corbin with a RKO.  He then nailed one on Rusev.  Zayn tried to come off the ropes and was nailed with one in mid-air.  He looked at Bray and pulled him up.  Everyone battled.

#24 was Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler hit the ring and teamed with Miz to hit a double DDT on Crew, then superkicked Miz and Crews.    He tossed Miz over the top but Miz was able to land on the apron.  Ziggler and Ambrose battled.  Dean was tossed over the top but was able to hang on.  More Goldberg chants.  Orton battled Corbin.  Jericho worked over Miz.  Rusev battled Crews.

#25 was Luke Harper.  He went right after Crews and tossed him, then locked eyes with Randy Orton.  That was playing off of their recent issues.  Wyatt tried to calm them.  Harper nailed Bray with a lariat and drilled Orton with a kick.  Didn't see that one coming!

Luke grabbed Bray and set him up for Sister Abigail but Orton caught him with a RKO.

#26 was Brock Lesnar.  He tossed Ziggler and Ambrose immediately, eliminating them.  He nailed a German suplex on Rusev then wiped out Orton and Miz with F-5s.  He wiped out the entire ring and stood over the ring when the countdown came and it was...

#27 Enzo Amore was next.  He was not advertised, so he was the 7th surprise entrant.  So, the surprise was there are no surprise entrants!  Enzo came to the ring with a determined look and faced off with Brock after psyching himself up.  Brock, like Negan on "The Walking Dead", shut that sh** down real fast!  Adios Enzo.  He was tossed.

#28 was Bill Goldberg.  The Alamodome went nuts.  Lesnar waited for him.  Lots of Goldberg chants.  He made the big entrance, complete with his pyro as Brock waited and bounced in the ring.  Goldberg immediately speared Brock and took him down, then clotheslined him over the top, eliminating him.  See you at Wrestlemania, Brock!

Goldberg clotheslined Jericho, trying to get revenge for the time Jericho choked him out backstage.  I kid, I kid.  Sami was hit with the Jackhammer.  Orton and Bray attacked Goldberg.  He was sent into the ropes and speared them both.  Orton grabbed at his leg right away.

#29 was The Undertaker.  The lights went out and when they returned, Taker was in the ring with Goldberg.  He grabbed him by the throat but everyone else attacked.  Taker tossed Corbin.  Goldberg speared him.  Goldberg tossed Harper but Taker tossed him from behind.  Miz and Zayn worked over Taker but didn't get the better of him.  Undertaker chokeslammed Miz.    He then grabbed Zayn and nailed one.  Wyatt tried to nail Taker but was drilled.

#30 was Roman Reigns.  That's seven of the eight unadvertised talents.  So, the surprise was there were no surprises outside the roster.  He and Taker faced off and brawled.  That looks like a Wrestlemania match right there.    The crowd was chanting, "This is bullsh**" about Roman being the last guy.  Taker clotheslined him.  He then clotheslined Miz over the top and tossed out Zayn, eliminating them.

Roman was tossed over the top but saved himself.  Undertaker chokeslammed Jericho.  Taker was grabbed and tossed out by Reigns.  The crowd HATED that.  Taker stared at him with a look that could kill.  More "bullsh**" chants.

The last four are Jericho, Reigns, Wyatt and Orton.

Reigns tossed Jericho, who saved himself.  He nailed Roman and went to the top but was hit with a Superman Punch off the top and sent to the floor.

Roman vs. the Wyatts.  They attacked Roman and stomped the hell out of him.  There was a "Let's go Wyatt" chant.  Orton nailed the hanging DDT off the ropes.  They set up Roman but he hit the Superman Punch on Bray and tossed him over the top.

Orton caught him with the RKO and clotheslined Roman over the top to the floor.

Your winner, Randy Orton!

A really good Rumble from bell to bell with some good story arcs within spotlighting all the big names and teasing their Wrestlemania showdowns.


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