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By Mike Johnson on 2009-03-15 23:00:00

Welcome to's live coverage of the 2009 TNA Destination X PPV.

The Beautiful People vs. Roxxi & Taylor Wilde & The Governor

The Governor and Madison Rayne start the bout.  Rayne chokes her in the corner, then sets her up for an Angelina Love dropkick.  Roxxi tagged in and nailed several forearms on Love, then slammed Rayne.  She elevated Taylor Wilde into the air onto Love.  Roxxi gets distracted by Sky on the outside and turns into a Love clothesline.

A sign in the front row reads "Botchamania = This Match."  I can't believe that's actually remaining on the air.

Roxxi caught Sky with a boot to the face and tagged in Wilde.  They go back and forth until a hot tag to Wilde, who cleans house on everyone.  She nailed a tilt or whirl backbreaker, then goes to the top.  She nailed a flying bodypress on Rayne but the other heels hit the ring.

All six brawled in the ring.  The Governor hit a plancha to the outside.  Wilde caught Rayne with a German suplex into a bridge for the pin.

Your winners, Roxxi & Taylor Wilde & The Governor!

Too short to even have any hope of meshing together. 

Lauren was backstage with Jeff Jarrett, in a referee's shirt, and Mick Foley.  Jarrett promised to call the Sting vs. Kurt Angle match right down the middle and the best man will win.  Foley said that as an enforcer, he's going to have to make sure that Jeff is able to call it down the middle by making sure The Main Event Mafia doesn't interfere.  He said he's got a feeling and thanks Angle for that.  He says he'll see Kurt at ringside.

Brutus Magnus Open Challenge.

Magnus came to the ring first, then ring announcer Dave Penzer introduced a serviceman who served on the USS Cole.  He's actually a Team 3D student.  He introduced Magnus' opponent, Eric Young.

Magnus attacked Young before the bell and leveled him with several right hands.  He leaped into the air with an elbow to the chest.  He picked up Young for a suplex but Young rolled through and landed on his feet.  Young nailed several dropkicks and a flying forearm.  Young went up and over as Magnus charged him in the corner.  They had a miscue, which the crowd picked up on, then Magnus slammed Young.

Magnus continued working over Young, powerbombing him.  Magnus missed a splash off the top rope.  Young came back with a backdrop, then nailed his finisher, the death valley driver.  Magnus kicked up at two.    Magnus whipped Young into the corner, where he did the Flair flop.  Young went to the top rope.  Magnus met him but was fought off.  Young hit a top rope elbow for a two count. 

Magnus tried to catch Young with a pinfall attempt by putting his feet on the ropes but Young escaped.  Young went to the top but was caught with a European Uppercut.  Magnus hit his finisher, The Tormenta, off the top for the pin.

Your winner, Brutus Magnus!

Just your basic short bout designed to give Magnus a win.  Nothing more, nothing less but Young worked really hard here.

Mike Tenay and Don West began running down the main events of the PPV.  Sheik Abdul Bashir's music started to play and he came to the ring with a mic.  He said that we are now three months into 2009 and now it's another PPV without the Middle Eastern Nightmare.  He said that he has had enough and said that he wants to know if its a conspiracy against him because of the color of his skin.  He said that President Obama talks about change and hope, and asks what hope is there for a man like him.  He wanted to know why a man walking the ramp in a military uniform gets a hero's welcome but he gets treated like a terrorist because he wears a turban.  He said he is a victim of the concentration camp known as the United States and began tearing up. 

Jim Cornette came to the ring and said that Bashir wants to know why he isn't involved tonight, so he'll answer him.  Cornette said it's not because he's not a great wrestler because he is and he's wrestled everywhere in the world.  Cornette said that it's really simple - "I don't like you."  He said that no one in the back nor any of the fans like him because of his big, fat mouth.  Cornette said that he whines about his race and how everyone is prejudiced against him.  Cornette said no one cares about his race or religion but hate Bashir because he's a big, obnoxious jerk.  He told Bashir, "Get the hell out of my building."  Cornette then said that he wanted to make sure everyone was fair so he asked the serviceman from earlier to come back to the ring and sing Bashir out.  He began singing "God bless America."  He couldn't hold a note but got through the entire song, then led everyone in a "U.S.A." chant.

Backstage, Kurt Angle was screaming at the rest of the Main Event Mafia.  He said everyone was in on it against them and was trying to break up the Mafia.  He said that if it happened, he was going to hold all of them responsible.  Booker T said he was responsible for Booker T and had AJ Styles to worry about tonight.  He said that whatever happened between Angle and Sting was between them.  He said he had to go to Jim Cornette's office and walked out.  Angle freaked that he was going to see Cornette.  Scott Steiner told Angle that he was being paranoid.  He said he had to deal with Samoa Joe and Angle was on his own.  Angle tried to complain to Kevin Nash.  Nash told Angle to stop blaming everyone else, because this wasn't anyone's fault but his own.  Nash told him to relax because Sting wasn't in bed with Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley.  Angle got annoyed and decreed that he didn't want anyone at ringside for the main event tonight.

Matt Morgan vs. Abyss - Match of 10,000 Tacks

Hopefully this will be a lot better than their first match, which was badly hampered by his shoulder issues.  The only way to win is to drop your opponent onto the tacks.

Don West was siding with Bashir during Matt Morgan's entrance, so they are continuing with West's slow descent into the heel side.  He was basically saying that Bashir had the right to say what he wanted due to freedom of speech.  Earlier, he was praising the "serviceman" as well so perhaps he'll be the guy who points out the logic where it doesn't jibe in TNA.

Morgan and Abyss brawled back and forth to open the bout.  Morgan clotheslined him over the top to the floor.  Abyss landed on his feet and grabbed Morgan's legs, slamming them into the ring post.

Abyss began picking up the beds of tacks and setting them up by the entrance stage.  They returned to the ring.  Morgan splashed Abyss in the corner, then slammed him.  Morgan opened a bag of tacks and tried to shove his face into the tacks.  Morgan rebounded off the ropes but was caught in a goozle.  Abyss went for a chokeslam but Morgan escaped.  Morgan missed a clothesline and was knocked into a corner.  He went down and Abyss charged him in the corner.

The crowd started chanting, "We want tacks."  Abyss began climbing up a pole to get another bag of tacks.  Morgan cut him off and set a chair in the corner, wedging it between turnbuckles.  Abyss caught Morgan with a low blow as he attempted to float over Abyss in the corner, then shoved him face-first into the chair.

With Morgan down, Abyss continued to pour tacks into the pile in the ring.  Morgan tried to fight off Abyss but was nailed with a Black Hole Slam on the mat.  Abyss poured broken glass into the ring.  Morgan tried to walk out but Abyss caught him on the aisle.  Abyss nailed him with several punches and teased a chokeslam off the ramp onto the beds of tacks.  Morgan kicked him low then hit the big boot, sending Abyss off the ramp onto the tacks below.

Your winner, Matt Morgan!

The match was OK but the finish was telegraphed the second Abyss began setting up the tacks by the stage.  No one believed for a second that Morgan would take that bump, so that really hurt the match.

Backstage, Booker T was complaining that he never agreed to defend his Legends title.  Cornette pointed out that he had Booker T's signature on the contract.  Sharmell said that it wasn't binding without her consent.  Cornette said that unless they could resurrect Johnny Cochran in the next 15 minutes, it was legal and binding.  Sharmell got Booker to say he signed it under duress.  Cornette said that they could try and get lawyers involved tomorrow but tonight it was legal and binding and that was that, "Oh hell yeah."  Please don't tell me that means AJ Styles gets a win that is erased on Impact.

One Night with ODB Finals

Oh lord, here we go.  ODB came out obviously "tanked", but was made up to look prettier than she has in recent months (i.e. more of what she looks like in real life).  Rudy Charles escorted her to the ring.  Jeremy Borash was the master of ceremonies. 

The first contestant was Ontario indy wrestler Cody Deaner, who's been signed by TNA for a long time and never used before.  The second contestant was Shark Boy.    The third contestant was a mortgage broker named Bernie Weber (TNA's Mike Weber).  They were playing game show music.

They played the Dating Game.  The first question was why did they think they should get the night with ODB.  Deaner said he didn't need the whole night, just 60 minutes.  They even had a drummer for the rim shot.    Shark Boy said he could get the job done in 23 minutes.  Weber said something I didn't catch.

The next segment saw ODB demand the contestants dance.  Borash was calling moves.  They made Octamom jokes.  This was dying a fast death, falling faster than Watchmen in its second week at the box office.  Shark Boy hit his moves and said, "You just got finned,  Shell Yeah."  I would say you couldn't pay me to watch this, except I am getting paid to watch this.  Cody Deaner dedicated his dance to the late Dale Earnheart.   He actually whipped out the Karate Kid crane kick, then quipped his mullet wasn't the longest part on his body.  This is like a VH-1 reality show broadcast from hell. 

They went to the fans for their opinions.  Weber was booed out of the place.  Shark Boy got the best ovation, but not by much over Deaner.  They went to the dramatic reality elimination music as ODB looked over the contenders to make her decision.  In the end, she picked Cody Deaner and I think they played the exact same music they used in "Mallrats" back in the day.

Jeremy Borash said cameras would be there to document the date, "God help us all."  Don West said, "Lord, please don't let these two have children."

If you like bad comedy, you'd love this.  If you want straight forward serious wrestling, this was going to make you pull your hair out. Jeremy Borash's delivery was the ONLY saving grace.

Lauren interviewed TNA Tag Team champions Beer Money Inc.   Robert Roode called her a b****.  Roode said he was tired of listening to how many titles Team 3D won in the past but that was then.  Roode said they had to go to Japan to get titles.  James Storm said everyone talks about respect in the locker room, but Beer Money still isn't getting the respect they deserve.  He said that perhaps it's because they don't care about or brownnose the fans and management.  Storm said 3D were a great tag team, but tonight, Beer Money writes their legacy in the ring.  Really good promo.


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