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Welcome to my 2023 Royal Rumble blog. As I said with Eps today, I am really looking forward to this show. For the first time in a while, I expect to not only find out who will challenge for Titles at WrestleMania, but also have more stories told that will set up other matches for the big show. I will be really surprised if we don’t see things set up during the two Rumble matches.
Hardy opened us up with a video recapping everything that got us to the night and then handled it off to Michael Cole. The building is lit and looks pretty full. This is Cole’s favorite event of the year. Corey Graves is happy to be with his old partner. Well, he was until out came Pat McAfee. Graves isn’t happy. Cole swears he didn’t know Pat would be here. Pat went into the ring and then joined the announce position after crotch chopping Corey. He hugged Cole and then blew off Corey. Pat will be on commentary!
We are starting with the Men’s match, which leads me to believe something will happen here that will play into KO vs. Roman later. Out first on the stage is Imperium. Entering first is Gunther, my man. If he went the distance I would be perfectly fine with that. Joining him, which is technically the co-number one, is Sheamus. Hell, these two might night be there when the third man comes out. We are starting off with bangers. Yep, this is STIFF.
They made it to number 3. Out comes The Miz. I hope they give him a long run. The guy does whatever he is asked to do and isn’t always appreciated.
Kofi is out at 4. I hope they have retired the ridiculous “his feet didn’t hit” spot. He is a former champ, let someone else do that. Johnny Gargano is out at 5. Makes sense since he has issues with Miz.
The crowd is LIT. They are fired up!
Sheamus eliminated Miz.
Xavier Woods is out at 6, joining his partner. They did a spot where New Day faked fighting and did a “wheelbarrow butt slapper”.
Karrion Kross is in at 7. Scarlett is with him but then sends him to the ring alone. Gunther just hit Kross with a devastating clothesline and Kross got right up and did the Doomsday on him.
Chad Gable is in at 8. The bad men continue when out comes Drew McIntyre, to a big pop. There will be some clubbering going on now!
Drew went right after Kross and kicked him out of the ring, eliminating him. Now he’s doing a slap off with Gunther. It was loud. Drew help up Sheamus as they waited for Santos Escobar to come out at 10. I love Santos. The dude has IT. Hope he gets a good showing here. This has flown by so far.
At 11 out comes Angelo Dawkins, wearing a Spurs inspired outfit.
Gunther eliminated Woods. Kofi got thrown onto a chair. One of his feet didn’t hit the ground so Kofi is going to do a Kofi Rumble spot. He had better wait becomes out comes Brock Lesnar at 12. This is flying by, so different from last year.
Sheamus and Drew tried to double Brock. Didn’t work. He started tossing them around. He dumped Santos. Then Dawkins. Then Gable. Brock suplexed Sheamus and he landed on his head. Hope is OK.
Gunther and Brock faced off and started throwing hands just as Bobby Lashley came out. Lately speared Lesnar. Sheamus is up, THANK GOD.
FIRST SURPRISE: BOBBY LASHLEY HAS ELIMINATED BROCK LESNAR! Oh yeah, those two at Mania? YES PLEASE! Brock is pissed. He threw a table in the ring.
Brock was destroying the ringside area and announce booth when poor Baron Corbin came out at 14. Brock destroyed him. Brock choked a ref over the barricade. He isn’t leaving. The announcers are running from Brock. Corbin hasn’t made it into the ring yet when Seth Rollins came out at 15, to a huge pop. Avoid Brock Seth. We are halfway into the match.
Rollins took Corbin in the ring and then kicked him out, eliminating him. At 16 here comes Otis. Brock has left. Order has been restored.
Rey’s music hits at 17. Will he be here or will they do the Dominic switch I talked about with Eps? He didn’t come out yet.
Lashley was trying to toss Seth but got dumped out instead. Otis did the Caterpillar on Gunther. I hope that he gets tossed for that.
18 is Dominik Mysterio, wearing his dad’s mask. I got that part right on today’s show! Call me Kreskin! Cole called Dom a piece of shit. Otis got eliminated by Sheamus and Drew.
Sheamus and Gunther have been in over a half hour.
Dom is hesitating getting into the ring. 19 brings us Elias. He breaks his guitar on Gunther’s back but then got double teamed by Drew and Sheamus. See ya fella, you are out.
Dom is in the ring and getting beaten up by Johnny Wrestling.
At 20 we get Finn Balor. We are two thirds of the way with entrants. Balor joined Dom and they tossed Gargano. They faced off with Drew and Sheamus.
At 21, Booker T. I had a feeling he would be in it after I saw him on the kickoff show. Book is in great shape. Cole is upset that Booker is in because it brought back the memory of Book eliminating him when he was in the Rumble. He put down Judgment Day and did a Spinaroonie! Then Gunther tossed him and the fans are pissed.
Gunther has a NASTY gash on his back.
At 22, our comes Damian Priest. Judgment Day has three members in the ring. Corey just did a Konnan reference, referencing him as Dom’s uncle. Hilarious.
At 23, Montez Ford. He went after the Judgment Day. Finn thought he tossed him, but Ford came back in. Priest then tossed Ford.
24 is the return of EDGE! With all Three Judgement Day guys in the ring. This has been booked sooooooooo well.
Edge went right after them and tossed Priest and Balor. Then, he faced off with Rollins but Dom attacked him. Edge had him eliminated when Balor and Priest saved him and pulled Edge to the floor. Then they attacked him.
Here comes the kid at 25, A Town Down. Theory could win this thing. Edge has come back and is chasing Priest and Balor to the back. But then Edge got attacked by Rhea. YOU KNOW what’s coming next, and angry Glamazon. SPEAR. Down goes Rhea. Edge and Beth left victorious.
At 26, here comes Omos. Hopefully they all team up to toss him.
Remember at the start when I said I expected to see a lot of Mania matches be set up here? Yeah, that has happened for sure.
The Banger Bros when after Omos. He put them down and then started mauling people. He said it’s his house. Gunther disagrees and started throwing chops. But he ate a chokeslam.
27 saw Braun Strowman, we know who will toss Omos now. Three men left.
The big men face off right away. The people are behind Braun. The are throwing hands. It’s good. Braun hit the clothesline, putting Omos out.
This is soooo much fun. Drew, Sheamus, Seth, Braun, Dom, Gunther and Theory are left.
28 is Braun’s buddy Ricochet. Gunther, Sheamus and Drew have put in amazing performances here. No doubt about it.
Gunther had Drew when Sheamus DUSTED him, saving his buddy. Drew then went to save his buddy and Gunther put them both out. They went 52:30.
29 is Logan Paul so Cody will be 30. Logan said he’s back, to a mixed reaction. The wrestlers all attacked him. But he is fighting. And not he is faced off with Braun. Paul’s stuff looks better than a lot of full time guys. Braun slammed him. Ric hit a shooting star.
And at 30 it’s time for Cody and man, what a pop. If they are making the decision to have him win, they don’t have to worry about the crowd rejecting him. No Usos in the match so the drama in the Title match won’t play off of the Rumble.
Cutter on Theory. He tossed the weight belt into the crowd. Dom is working on Cody. For a second. Crossroads. See ya Dom! Big pop from the crowd.
Paul and Ricochet did a move you just have to see. It was one of the craziest thing I ever saw. Braun tried to help Ricochet come back from the wreckage when Cody eliminated him. Theory tossed Ricochet. Left are:
Cody
Gunther
Seth
Rollins
I missed whoever eliminated Paul. Probably because I marking over that spot.
Cody has eliminated Theory.
Rollins and Cody are facing off. Seth says you won’t steal my spotlight twice. They face off. They forgot about Gunther so he attacked. Seth and Cody then worked together on Gunther. Both men hit Pedigrees on Gunther so they are facing off. Gunther just set the record for traditional Rumble matches at over 62 minutes. That’s INSANE for a guy his side.
He is down letting the other two fight.
Logan Paul was NOT eliminated. He just came in and tossed Seth. We have another Mania match set up. Man, this has been amazingly well done!
Paul’s chest is beet red. He pointed at the Mania sign and got booed so he will be the heel against Seth, Cody said UH UH, out goes Paul.
We are down to Cody vs. Gunther. The story is Gunther has been in over an hour while this is Cody’s first match back.
Gunther is chopping the life out of that pec, which is what Gunther does. Gunther went for a boot but missed and was on the apron. Gunther didn’t let the Disaster Kick hit. I LOVE that when it got down to the end that they didn’t rush to the finish. I always hate that. They are fighting,
Gunther took Cody to the top. He now has him on the apron. Cody fights back though. He is on the top. Gunther met him with a chop. Superplex into the ring. If Cody wins this, he is going to have to fight for it.
They are throwing hands. Cody hit the Cutter. He tossed Gunther over to the apron. Cody is selling he is a bit gassed. They are back in the ring. Gunther has his legs over the ropes and kicked his balls to Nebraska. But he is still fighting. Jumping dropkick by Gunther. Powerbomb. 70 minutes in for Gunther. He tossed Cody over the top but he didn’t hit the floor. Gunther locked the sleeper in from the ring while Cody is on the apron. Cody is pulling though so Gunther has to let go before he eliminates himself. Cody manages to hit The Crossroads and eliminates Gunther. Afterward, he stood up and pointed at the Mania sign. And I was damn glad he did because it was deserved.
I am not one for hyperbole but if you told me this was the best Rumble match ever, I won’t argue. Hell, I will say it. Best men’s Rumble match EVER. What an amazing start to the show.
Please click to Page 2 for more thoughts from tonight's show!
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