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ADAM CARDOZA REPORTING:
Allie Kat's Real Hot Girl S***
4/9/21 - 11am
Tampa, FL - Streaming on FITE.tv
After a successful debut at Fight Forever, Allie Kat’s named show makes it’s debut at the Collective this morning. The sun is out again so let’s see if we’ve learned any lessons from yesterday about that. Sam Laterna & Billy Dixon are on commentary this morning.
Match 1: “Thick Mama Pump” Jordynne Grace vs “AK-47” Allysin Kay
Grace is stepping in for the injured Faye Jackson. Kay is coming off a dominant win over Masha Slamovich at Bloodsport last night. Testing power in the lockup. Grace with a torture rack but Kay fights out. Big pump kick and Grace is out at one. Grace gets space with a slap and boot to the face. Spinebuster but Kay’s been working the leg and Grace needs to knock some life back into that limb. Kay landing some chest kicks, Grace with a back elbow and clothesline for two. Grace wants a powerbomb but Kay stands up through it and drives Grace’s head to the mat with a back piledriver for the pin. YOW. Good fight. Good nigh—-er, morning.
Winner: Allysin Kay
Match 2: “Not America’s Sweetheart” Davienne vs. “That 90’s Chick” Erica Leigh
Davienne working a headlock but Leigh proving an equal in the graps. Davienne has Leigh test her power with shoulder tackles....Davienne is more than capable of dishing out the damage there. Big clotheline to Leigh for two. Davienne mocking the crowd as she sends Leigh staggering out of the corner with chops. Big clubbing blows, kicks to the head and working the chin lock in the Florida sun. Leigh finally dodges a strike and hits a X-Factor for two. Seatbelt suplex to Davienne for another near fall. Leigh with a shining wizard! Davienne out again! Leigh comes running into a chokeslam. Davienne with a baseball slide dropkick and she slams throat first into the post. Davienne drags her back for the definitive pin.
Winner: Davienne
Match 3: Brooke Valentine vs. Willow Nightingale
Last night at For the Culture, they were partners in a losing effort against Fire & Flava. Today, they go war. Willow tries to wraps up the eggs but Brooke fights her off. Willow thrown to the corner. Brooke cartwheels at her but it looks like her knee just gave out. She crashes to the mat and we have an injury situation on our hands. The ref calls off the contest, Willow is super concerned and helps Brooke to the back...IT’S A TRAP! Brooke throws Willow into the chairs! Brooke does the cartwheel to show she is FINE. The GCW officials says this match will continue. Willow rolled back in for the one count and Brooke throwing the forearms and chops. Axe kick to the back and she wraps up Willow’s neck. Willow recovers and tries lariats but Brooke catches her with a sidewalk slam for two. Willow firing back but Brooke with some cocky reversals, hitting a full split but Willow kicks her head off. Brooke with an electric chair drop to the surgically repaired neck of Nightingale! Kick out on the stacked pin. Willow fighting to get Brooke up on the shoulders...DVD! Moonsault! Three count for the babe with the power! This was a fun, emotional fight.
Winner: Willow Nightingale
Match 4: Holidead vs. Dark Sheik
Two eccentric characters here in this fight. Holidead powers Sheik to the ropes but she gets her arm twisted up in the cables. Holidead with a tilt a whirl powerslam for two. Trio of leg drops and Holidead wraps a head scissor. Sheik is struggling in the lock but rolls to the camel clutch. Holidead bites her way free and slams Sheik to the buckles. Handspring kick to Holidead’s face and she’s down for two. Trading shots, Sheik with another kick to the head. Sheik wants a heat seek piledriver but Holidead back drops her to the concrete. Ow. Sidewalk slam onto the apron. Holidead is clubbing blows to the chest that walk up Sheik to hit a lariat to the concrete. Springboard trust fall into Holidead. Sheik to the top and misses a top rope leg drop...Holidead stomps her, hit a back breaker and into a bear hug. Another backbreaker as she rag dolls Sheik but only a two count. Holidead with a rocking horse stretch but Sheik won’t quit. Sheik out, tries a squat lift but switches to the sharpshooter. It’s deep but Holidead makes the rope. Holidead with the kick off and a DDT but Sheik gets the foot to the rope. Sheik with some defiant slaps to the legs of Holidead. Holidead with corner shoulder blocks, Sheik dodges a charge and hits a spinning kick off the top. Sheik firing up and trade chops in the center, refusing to back down. Sheik with a rana, tries a crossbody but Holidead with spinebuster....kick out! Sheik with a fisherman’s driver for two! Holidead with a flatliner doesn’t finish it but the facebuster absolutely does.
Winner: Holidead
Match 5: Edith Surreal vs. Lady Frost
Billed as “Real COLD Girl S***”. Frost tries to jump right into a standing guillotine. Surreal pushes that off, go into a fast sequence, Surreal hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker and running dropkick for two. The Lady is Frostrated. She tries the guillotine but Surreal push slams her back. Frost gets Edith to the corner and shoulder blocks to the gut. Frost working her over, step up enziguri for two. Cartwheel over Edith’s back to a dropkick. More shoulder blocks to the corner. Edith dodges and hits a running cross bulldog to a cross face. Frost out, Edith down in the corner, tumbling snowball to the corner. Frost to the top, Sureal knocks her down, running knees to the back, Edith wraps up Frost in a rings of saturn variation pin to get the win!
Winner: Edith Surreal
Match 6: Tasha Steelz (w/ Kiera Hogan) vs. Trish Adora
Trish grabs the hammerlock early but Steelz transitions to the headlock. Dragged to the ground, we’re trading holds. Trish drags her up by the hair, Steelz wraps up the arm but Trish gets the rope. Steelz gets the waist locks and tossing Trish over and over into the chin lock. Trish whipped to the buckle, Steelz with a superkick for two. Kiera Hogan getting a shot in here and there as the Ref gets distracted. Trish almost gets an armbar, Steelz makes distance and they’re unloading forearms back and forth. Steelz with a pumpkin, Trish with a cross body , corner splash and a boss man slam for two. Steelz with a code breaker after slipping a backslide. Steelz trades kicks, hits a neck breaker and muscles up a Falcon Arrow and Trish is done.
Winner: Tasha Steelz
Main Event: Allie Kat vs. Billie Starkz
Starkz wants the waist but Kat grabs the wrist lock. She unloads a chop with a smile. Starkz and Allie trade fast pin attempts until Billie unload a stiff kick to the face. Allie powders and Starkz chases her down with an apron pk. During it out on the floor, Kat slams her young opponent onto the hot Florida concrete. Allie beating on the back of Starkz through this. Kat laying in the beat down but Starkz is throwing forearms back to show she’s not dead. Kat with a senton for two, but he’s getting annoyed that Billie won’t die. Billie throwing forearms, Allie blasts the shots away, rake the back with the cat claws and tries another pin. Kat eats several upkicks and walks into a backfist and roundhouse kick, double stomp to the face! Allie is out at two. Starkz up top, swanton to the knees! Allie locks up a Boston crab and bridges it. Starkz screams and taps out. Billie tried to gut that out but that deep crab was way too much. Good finish.
Winner: Allie Kat
Other/Real Main Event: Faye Jackson’s Grey Sweatpants Battle Royal
As many of you know, Faye Jackson have been handing out the BOOKINGS AND SIGNINGS for over a year in this battle royale. Faye herself is injured but here to host the entrants for her event. She makes a point to let everyone know that the young Billie Starkz has officially left the build before Faye makes it all...sausagey.
First, Faye inducts 2 members into the Gray Sweatpants Hall of Fame who couldn’t make the battle royale today. For the 2020 class, 2 Cold Scorpio. For 2021, Shad Gaspard (RIP).
The rules are pretty fluid, as long as Wholesome Squad leader Suge D doesn’t show up and ruin the Creep Squad’s fun. It’s Royal Rumble style today. The winner gets a trophy and a fleshlight. Tasha Steelz and Janelle are on commentary and it sounds like they will be talking up every piece of man that walks through the curtain. Here. we. go. XD
We also introduce some special enforcers: Billy Dixon, Saharan Seven, Estrella & Jordan Blade. Tejana is the official twerker.
1: Ice Williams (replacing Chris Bey)
2: Kenny Bengal
They lock up and do some wrestling stuff but I get the impression that’s not what commentary wants.
3: Keith Mack
Commentary loses their MIIIIIIINDS for this. Mack twerking on both guys down in the corner. This is what commentary wants.
4: D-Rogue
Faye comes in for a closer look here. Rogue is flirting back and has to knock his opponents down to keep that up.
5: Devon Monroe
A screeeeeeeeeech into the mic as Monroe gets in the ring. Monroe serving up the arm drags. Mack claps for this action.
6: Mr. Darius Carter
Darius is in a 3-piece suit in this sun. He steals the house mic to introduce himself properly. He is scolding the crowd for cheering on this battle royale. “Why you here” asks Faye. “I would take care of you but looks like life did that for me” he retorts. DAAAAAAMN. The enforcers jawing with him at ringside to get into the ring.
7: Montana Black
Faye yellling at people to get into the ring. Commentary confirms we have no eliminations yet.
8: Daniel Garcia
“Who is THIS?!?!” Screaming from commentary Garcia grinds into the ring and worms up before running to work eliminations.
Devon Monroe gets eliminated somewhere in here. Where is D-Rogue? I don’t know if the eliminations are super important here.
9: KC Navarro
10: Mysterious Q
Faye puts a pause on this. Q isn’t allowed in this battle royale with his mask on. “Take it off” chant as Q demasks and nearly eliminates KC with a back drop. KC tries to get back and Q drops him to the floor.
11: PB Smooth
Smooth is throwing magnums to the crowd. Commentary is wild for this. Darius actually is in the match now (still wearing a damn suit though).
12: JTG
Darius eats a JTG clothesline. This is a matchup that should happen somewhere.
13: RICKY SHANE PAGE
OMG. He remixed his theme with WAP. Everyone stops what they are doing to stomp out the hated captain of 44OH. Keith Mack decks Darius.
14: Lee Moriarty
He’s not following direction, not in grey sweatpants. Commentary is upset about this. How dare some wholesomeness get into this battle royale. PB Smooth eliminates Keith Mack. We have a moment in the ring with the guys dancing to “Pony”. 1’s getting throwing into the ring. Darius leaves the ring in disgust. Boy, it’s a bright day for this after dark content. RSP joins the dance party, 44OH talks him out of it, he steals all the money and eliminates himself. CLASSIC.
15: Hoodfoot Mo Atlas
Hoodfoot throws out Ice Williams. Darius with a low blow to the Hoodfoot
16: Funnybone
Funnybone seems like he should be in a different Creep Squad. Montana Black gets eliminated, Funnybone topes through the rope and grabs a staple gun. WHY STAPLES.
17: SUGE D
UH OH. Suge has a bible and Faye says “WHAT THE F***”. Darius is at ringside stapling dollars to Funnybone. Back in the ring, Suge is beating PB with the Bible. Everyone is tryin to reason with Suge and he eliminates D-Rouge, Hoodfoot and PB Smooth.
18: Eel O’neal
JTG eliminates Kenny Bengal. Apparently we have a lot of Wholesome Gang folks in here. Darius drags Funnybone in to staple more dollars to him. Garcia beating Suge with his bible. Funnybone is finally mad at Darius and has the staple gun to the nethers. Darius Carter gets stapled in the junk and tossed out. Lee Moriarty goes wild and attacks everyone, including fellow Wholesome Squad member Suge. Lee is starting to strip. Looks like Lee is turning Creep? Official Twerker Tejana hits the ring and eliminates him herself before he does anything he might regret. Tejana drags Lee out of the ring by the ear.
19: JAZZ
Heeeeeeere we goooooooooo. Jazz throws hands. She tosses Eel O’Neal. She kicks Q in the nards. Suge talking that bible talk to Jazz. She punches him out in the corner. Body splash and more punches. Suge gets Jazz on the top rope, jazz comes off but he catches and dumps her to the outside. Faye calls a timeout and the enforcers enter the ring to deal with Suge D. Faye isn’t forgetting this and the enforcers beat up Suge and eject him (and his bible) from the ring.
We’re down to the final 3! JTG, Garcia & Q. Looks like we’re hitting the music for another dance number. Q lets it goes for a moment before clothesline ping from behind. Garcia tossed but he skins the cat back in. Garcia and JTG over the tope and hanging. They work to the apron and backdrop Q to the ground.
Down to Garcia and JTG. They battle on the apron. JTG kicks the rope but Garcia is okay because he had his pants stuffed. What a ruse! JTG uses the top rope to spring Garcia off to the floor, making him the winner!
Winner of the Gray Sweatpants Battle Royale: JTG
Faye gets in the ring to give the trophy and fleshlight. She also instructs JTG to take his sweatpants off so they can auction them off for charity. Commentary absolutely appreciated this request. Big “Thank You Faye” chant at the end of this. Wow.
You rmileage may vary on this one but commentary kept up with this wild entertaining train wreck. The crowd gathers around Faye to thank her more and give flowers, especially from those who definitely wound not have been in FL if it wasn’t for Faye.
Second Report on Page 2!
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