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By Richard Trionfo on 2014-11-17 23:01:57
We are back and Lana says that while they had to handle the disrespect of Vladimir Putin at the G20 summit. You Americans showed your lack of taste when you drooled over the photos of Kim Kardashian. All of you know that no American woman can compare to this ravishing figure and her body. Lana says that she is the best. Lana says that she has a topless photo of her own to show you and it will leave all of you American men drooling. She asks if you want to see it.

She shows the photo and it is of Vladimir Putin without a shirt, riding a horse.

Heath Slater comes out and he is dressed like Uncle Sam. He tells Lana that everyone in America wants her to shut up. The American spirit flows through each and every one of us. As you can see, he has the red white and blue running through this bad ass country boy right now.

Slater tells Rusev it ends tonight. He quotes Carl Weathers from the end of Rocky III and calls Rusev a son of a bitch.

Match Number Four: Rusev ( with Lana) versus Heath Slater in a Non Title Match

Rusev with a jumping thrust kick. Rusev stomps on Slater’s back and applies the Accolade. Slater taps out.

Winner: Rusev

After the match, Rusev takes his time releasing the hold.

We go back to the cat and Miz is still there with Sandow and the stunt cat. Miz says they do a buddy company. The cat can get the girl, but he wants to stay alive for the sequel.

Rowan enters and he says ‘Here Kitty’. Rowan says he wants that cat.

Rowan takes the stuffed cat and leaves.

Stephanie McMahon makes her way to the ring before Big Show’s opponent makes his way to the ring. Stephanie says hello to Big Show and she says that she was watching the Monday Night War on the Network and she saw Show’s debut. He was billed as Andre the Giant’s son. Show has always been in somebody’s shadow. He has always wanted to be the guy, the man who brought the people into the building. It is not up to the people to decide who the main event is. It is the Authority who makes that decision.

Big Show doesn’t know if he should pander to the people or resent them. He has flip flopped when he should have listened to his boss. To show how the Authority can benefit him if Cena steps away from Team Cena, he will make Show an inductee into the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame. Stephanie says it is a giant offer for a giant man.

Stephanie asks Show for his answer and Show tells Stephanie . . .


Sheamus makes his way to the stage and he tells Stephanie that he is proud to be part of Team Cena. He will be proud to make history when they drive the Authority out of power. At this time next week, the only way he will see Stephanie or her husband is if they buy a ticket.

Stephanie thanks Sheamus for entertaining her and interrupting her. Stephanie says that there was an issue at the office this week. Stephanie says that there was an issue with Sheamus’ passport. It turns out that he is not an American citizen. What if Sheamus was deported and couldn’t make it to Survivor Series.

Stephanie gives Sheamus and Show another reason to give them a chance to back out of the match at Survivor Series. They will face each other and the winner will get a chance to wrestle for the WWE Championship.

Match Number Five: Big Show versus Sheamus in a Number One Contender Match

They lock up and Show with a clean break. They lock up again and Show backs Sheamus into the corner and he gives another clean break. They lock up again and Show with another clean break. They push each other and then Show with punches and a chop in the corner.

Show with another chop in the corner. Show with another chop as they go across the ring. Sheamus with a kick and punches but Show sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor with a back drop and Sheamus hits his shoulder on the apron as he goes to the floor.

Show sends Sheamus over the ringside barrier into Yeatonville and we go to commercial.

We are back and Show signals for the choke slam as Sheamus struggles to get back to his feet. Sheamus with a kick and then he connects with forearms to the chest. Sheamus with a boot to the chest followed by a knee drop and he gets a near fall. Sheamus tries to slam Show but Show stops him and Show slams Sheamus. Show with an elbow drop for a near fall.

Show with a slam to Sheamus. Show with another slam as he continues to work on Sheamus’ back followed by an elbow drop for a near fall. Show with a Calf Killer and Cloverleaf combination and Sheamus tries to get to the rope and he finally gets there. Sheamus punches Show and he hits two running double sledges followed by a third one that knocks Show to the mat. Sheamus with a shoulder into the corner followed by a knee lift. Sheamus runs into a boot from Show but Show misses an elbow drop when Sheamus moves.

Show tries to stop the slingshot shoulder but Sheamus drops Show on the top rope. Sheamus goes up top and he is met with a spear when he tries for a shoulder tackle. Show gets a near fall and he signals for the choke slam. Sheamus gets out of the hold and he gets Show up for White Noise and he gets a near fall. Show blocks the Brogue Kick and Show hits a choke slam for a near fall.

Show goes to the turnbuckles and Sheamus recovers and he hits Show with forearms to the back. Sheamus gets Show on his shoulders for an Electric Chair drop.

Rusev comes into the ring and he hits a jumping thrust kick on Sheamus and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Big Show (by disqualification)

After the match, Rusev attacks Big Show while Mark Henry rearranges the announce table. Henry picks up Sheamus for a World’s Strongest Slam through the announce table. Rusev applies the Accolade on Show.

We are back and on the Survivor Series Kick Off Show, Fandango will be in action with Rosa. Wade Barrett will have some bad news for you. Paul Heyman will be on the Kick Off Show Panel.

AJ Lee’s music plays and Brie Bella makes her way to the ring dressed as AJ and does all of the mannerisms.

Before the match starts, the real AJ Lee makes her way to the ring and joins commentary.

Match Number Six: Nikki Bella versus Brie Bella

They lock up and Nikki yells at Brie. Nikki with an arm drag. They lock up and Nikki with a shoulder tackle. Nikki with a back breaker and she holds on for a second back breaker for a near fall. Nikki drags Brie around the ring and then sends Brie into the turnbuckles. Nikki tells Brie to watch but she hits Brie’s shoulder. Nikki yells at Brie and slaps her.

Nikki gets Brie up for Shock Treatment but AJ gets on the apron and distracts Nikki. Brie with a rollup for the three count.

Winner: Brie Bella

After the match, Nikki attacks Brie but AJ goes after Nikki and hits a Shining Wizard. Brie starts a Yes chant and AJ with a thrust kick and DDT.

We are back with the Big E New Day video. He talks about seeing your dreams in the distance. All things are possible. With the power inside you, there ain’t no stopping you. He asks if you feel it.

Ryback is in the locker room and John Cena says that he knows that Ryback doesn’t need anybody but the WWE needs him. He asks Ryback if he has thought about it.

Ryback says that he is The Big Guy. He cannot see Team Cena. He says that he will not take John’s insults.

John reminds Ryback that he said it to his face and that led to Ryback stopping his whining.

What happens if Triple H doesn’t think that Ryback is an A+ player any more.

Ryback says that he sees what the Authority is doing and he is still saying no.

Cena says that Ryback is not stupid, he is selfish. For a man who wants to be fed more, when he is given the chance to sit at the big table, he isn’t hungry.

Match Number Seven: Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Fernando, and Diego (with El Torito) versus Goldust, Stardust, Miz, and Damien Sandow

Miz and Fernando start things off and they lock up. Miz with a side head lock. Fernando with a top wrist lock into a side head lock. Fernando with a drop toe hold and Sandow falls into the ropes as well. Fernando with a splash to the back and Fernando with a slingshot senton for a near fall. Miz with an arm bar on Fernando.

Goldust tags in and he sends Fernando into the turnbuckles and chops him. Fernando with more chops but Goldust with an Irish whip. Diego with a head scissors. Miz is sent to the floor and Sandow does a flip bump in the ring. Fernando and Diego with a suicide dive onto Goldust while Torito hits a dive onto Miz. We go to commercial.

We are back and Goldust and Diego are in the ring and Goldust sends Diego into the ring post. Goldust punches Diego and Stardust kicks Diego. Stardust with a gourdbuster to Diego for a near fall. Stardust kicks Diego and Miz tags in and he kicks Diego. Miz with a snap mare and boot to the head and he gets a near fall.

Diego with a sunset flip but Miz rolls through and he goes for a figure four leg lock but Diego rolls through for a near fall. Goldust tags in and he kicks Diego. Goldust with a snap mare and elbow drop for a near fall. Goldust works on the shoulder. Stardust tags in and he kicks Diego while they keep Sandow from getting into the match. Stardust with knees to the midsection. Diego with punches but Stardust with a kick.

Miz tags in and he kicks Diego. Sandow is tagged in and Miz tags back in before Sandow can do anything. Diego with chops but Miz blocks a rana attempt. Miz is kicked to the floor and Sandow falls next to him. Stardust tags in and he keeps Diego from making the tag. Stardust with a back heel kick but Diego with a flapjack and both men are down.

Jey tags in and so does Jimmy and they knock Stardust down with a shoulder tackle and then they take care of Goldust. Jimmy with clotheslines and super kicks followed by a Samoan drop. Jimmy with the running butt splash into the corner but Goldust with a power slam. Fernando with a lungblower to Goldust. Miz with the Skull Crushing Finale to Fernabdo. Diego with a drop kick to Miz. Stardust sends Diego to the apron.

Jimmy super kicks Diego off the apron and then Stardust hits Dark Matter on Jimmy for the three count.

Winners: Stardust, Goldust, Miz, and Damien Sandow

We see Grumpy Cat watching the mat from the Official WWE Arena Monitor.

We are told that Sheamus has been taken to the hospital and he is out of Survivor Series.

We are back and it is time for the Official Contract Signing because we have the official contract signing table in the ring with the official contract signing carpet.

Team Authority makes their way to the ring.

Hunter says Sunday at Survivor Series, live in front of the world, history will be made. Team Cena versus Team Authority and the Authority will stand tall. When it comes to the WWE . . .

Hunter says that you don’t get it. You love the WWE. John Cena will tell you he loves the WWE. The truth is you have no idea. You have no idea what it is like for them. Every molecule of your being is this. Every fiber of who you are as a person, for your family, is this. You have no idea. Your great-grandfather, your grandfather, your kids. You have no idea. This is the air they breathe.

Hunter says that they cannot lose.

Stephanie says that they won’t lose.

Hunter says that Stephanie is right. They won’t lose. Hunter tells everyone they won’t lose. He says that they cannot lose. This is the last chance for every member of supposed Team Cena. This is your opportunity to back out. If you don’t back out now, you will wish that you had.

Stephanie says that there is no shame in backing down. Some times it is better to back down than to accept a fight. Her father challenged her and they have put together the strongest team ever. This team has been decimating and annihilating Team Cena all night long.

Stephanie has the surviving members of Team Cena make their way to the ring.

John Cena comes out first and he is joined by . . .

John Cena makes his way to the ring and he walks alone.

Hunter says that it is kind of ironic because he cannot see the rest of John’s team.

John says that Hunter’s got jokes but the jokes stop on Sunday. He says that he can see it in Hunter’s eyes. The most important day of their lives. The WWE Universe will see Team Authority lose and they will be out of power.

Stephanie asks John him and what army will beat them? Sheamus has been taken to the hospital. No one is standing with John because they value their careers. John is too myopic. No one will join John’s crusade.

John tells Stephanie not to give anyone advice because Team Authority will lose. John says that the Authority is smug after what happened. They took care of everyone except for the one man who will make sure that the Authority loses. He sees that the Authority has put people to sleep. Every decision is not what is best for business, but what is best for yourself.

John says that he will get four people out of the crowd if he needs them. Even if he went to war with four people in the crowd, every member of his team would have passion for the WWE. Team Authority is a bunch of suck ups and sell outs.

John will give everyone a preview of what they will get. John reminds everyone it is free. This is why you need to see it.

The queen and king will saunter to the ring, with their noses up watching their dream team trying to stop John Cena. They will take their ringside seat as it is all but a formality. Then their team, one by one will fall.

John says Kane will be the first. The former firebreathing monster, kin to the Undertaker, controlled by the urn. Now he is a boot kissing Drew Carey lookalike. Then they will see Luke Harper fail. He is from the swamp so he will have a swamp in his pants when he fails. Then Rusev will not be able to get the job done.

Then you get the red eyes and Stephanie won’t be able to help because she will be puking in the corner. Then he will feed them Sexual Chocolate. That leaves just one, the sell out golden boy. The bleached blonde brunette with the latex fetish. Then he will get his attitude adjusted and the referee will make the three count and it will feel like three years because all of your dreams will be crushed. It will be fitting that you will spend the rest of your time in the WWE cleaning toilets.

Stephanie slaps John and John tells her to get out of the ring because it is go time.

Dolph Ziggler’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring, but he is holding his neck.

Big Show makes his way to the ring to join his teammates.

Hunter counts the number of people that they have compared to the three on Team Cena.

Erick Rowan makes his way to the ring and he is the fourth member of Team Cena.

Stephanie says that is a big surprise, but there are still only four men. She gives everyone one more chance.

Cesaro comes to the ring and it looks like we have our fifth . . .

but Cesaro joins the Authority.

Stephanie chuckles and she wonders if there are any more surprises.

Ryback comes to the ring.

It is pandemonium in the ring and it looks like we have our teams. Rollins with a kick but Cena gets Rollins up for an Attitude Adjustment until Hunter stops him. Hunter sets for a pedigree on Cena but Ryback gets in the ring. Ryback and Hunter stare each other down and Cena sends Hunter through a table with an Attitude Adjustment.

We go to credits.

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