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It’s 8-29 and Paragon Pro Wrestling returns from Sam’s Town Hotel and Gambling Hall in beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada!
It is again 6:05 am ET and POP TV intros with AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck”. PPW is next!
As always, your announcers for the evening are Todd Kenely and Jeff Akin with Pat Kelley handling our interviews. It’s another week of champions. Not only will Hammerstone be in action, but we know that “The Irish Juggernaut” Mikey O’Shea will go head to head with “The Obsession” Caleb Konley and Jessy Sorenson will defend the PPW Championship against the sleazetastic Joey Ryan.
Pat Kelley talks to Fidel Sierra, The Cuban Assassin and manager of Tyshaun Prince. He rants about Gangrel and that upcoming ‘pine box’ match and swears that Prince will NOT be participating. Tonight, and next, Prince faces “The Gentleman Brawler” Eric Right!
Match #1: “Big Money” Tyshaun Prince with The Cuban Assassin vs. “The Gentleman Brawler” Eric Right with Granny’s Miracle Tonic
After the requisite mustache distribution, Right and Prince face off. Speed is on the side of the Gentleman. He is eventually caught by Prince. Multiple fists and forearms have no effect on the big man. Prince retaliates with a short arm clothesline that nearly takes off Right’s head. To add insult to injurty, Sierra chokes Right away from the ref. Prince abuses Right but you can’t keep a good brawler down. He fights back but is overwhelmed by Prince working Right’s back. In a rare mistake, Prince misses a big slash and Right capitalizes, hitting a DDT. Eric Right goes for the Miracle Tonic but Prince catches him the Big Bang, a sit down powerbomb.
Winner: “Big Money” Tyshaun Prince
Commercial break featuring iCan! Miracle Hair! Xeralto!
Match #2: Fruit Loops vs. Hammerstone
The masked luchador billed from Haight Ashbury tries to give Hammerstone a necklace of breakfast serial, but the big man doesn’t appreciate the shenanigans. Hammerstone beats on the colorful character but the resilient Fruit Loops manages a flurry of offense including a double ear smack that looked like it smarted. Still, Hammerstone nails his Stonebreaker, a fireman’s carry into a knee in the face and its lunch time for Fruit Loops.
Winner: Hammerstone
Commercial break featuring Xarelto, Magical Flames and BEST OF ALL:
Hammerstone and Remy Martel starring in the Voodoo Doughnuts commercial.
Match #3: Mike Santiago with Christian Cole vs. Gangrel
Mike Santiago from the Pacific Northwest makes his PPW debut, managed by Christian Cole, against the vampire warrior. Santiago starts strong and makes Gangrel miss the patented corkscrew elbow. Gangrel goes for the Impaler DDT early, but Cole intercedes, distracting the ref, and slaps Gangrel as Santiago attacks. The new guy does well, hits a dropkick and covers for two. Santiago slaps on a Fujiawa armbar but Gangrel escapes. Mike Santiago eats a bulldog and a powerslam. This is followed by Gangrel bionic elbow, Impaler DDT and lateral press.
Winner: Gangrel
Commercial break: Magic Flames and Xarelto… sadly, no Voodoo Doughnut.
Match #4: “The Obsession” Caleb Konley with Lisa Marie Varon vs. “The Irish Juggernaut” Mikey O’Shea
Caleb Konley starts strong but can’t quite get around the O’Shea power. The Juggernaut eats some kicks but throws Konley off. Lisa Marie distracts the big man and Konley chops the big tree down. Konley continues to choke and chop the giant leprechaun but Mikey fights back and goes for modified standing senton… and misses. Konley takes advantage and gets O’Shea to run shoulder first into the ring post. Lisa Marie gives O’Shea a couple of forearm smashes outside the ring before Konley drags him in for a two count. O’Shea mans up after causing Konley to miss a springboard. The big guy hits the ropes where Lisa Marie catches his foot. O’Shea stops to confront her as Konley barrels in. O’Shea moves and nearly smacks Lisa Marie. He is so stunned that Mikey O’Shea rolls him up for the 1, 2, 3!
Winner: “The Irish Juggernaut” Mikey O’Shea
After the match Konley and Varon complain about the conspiracy holding him back.
Pat Kelley talks to Joey Ryan and he spouts off about titles and, of course, bringing sleazy back.
Match #5: Joey Ryan vs. Jessy Sorenson for the PPW Heavyweight Championship
Joey Ryan starts with going to work on the left arm of the champ. Gets that into a hammerlock but Sorenson hits a beautiful dropkick. These two are pretty evenly matched and the bought goes back and forth with strikes. Ryan goes back to the arm and hits a hammerlock slam and really stretches that left arm out. Sorenson fights back with forearm shivers and lands a spin kick. The champ picks up the pace and nails a swinging neckbreaker. Ryan answers with a pump-handle suplex and both of them are down. Ryan is back up first and he lays out the champ with a spine buster setting the champ up for a superkick. He nails it but can only get a two count! Sorenson shakes it off and manages to ground Ryan with a pop up neckbreaker for the three.
Winner: Jessy Sorenson, still PPW Heavyweight Champion!
David C. Hayes was the world’s worst professional wrestler (he has proof), failed comedian and b-movie superstar. He still loves the world of professional wrestling and watches what he can when he’s not writing awesome novels about horrible people. Visit him online at www.davidchayes.com.
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