We are in Dallas, Texas and your announcers are Michael ‘Did you know that I am from Texas’ Cole and Jerry ‘Did you know that I beat up most of the Von Erichs’ Lawler.
Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring but he is still on his crutches and he is not really dressed to fight, unless it is a board room brawl.
Vince says that he likes to do things in a big way and we are close to Wrestlemania so we need something big each week. What better way to start off the show than with a fight. Vince says that it is time to bring out Paul Heyman.
Paul Heyman comes out and he says that Vince is the showman and the great entertainer. Paul says that you will be able to tell your children that you saw a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Paul says that he has waited his entire life for this fight. He has been portrayed as a wimp, wuss, and the biggest puss.
Paul says that he is all man. Vince has as much chance against him as Tony Romo leading the Cowboys to the Super Bowl. Paul says that he will not take it easy on Vince. He has seen Vince run every promoter out of business, including him. Paul says that he is coming after Vince for everything he’s got.
Paul says that since Vince is in a suit, he must want to make an executive decision. Before they fight, he wants to tell Vince . . .
Paul takes Vince down and he has a crutch. Paul hits Vince in the hamstring with the crutch. Vince struggles to get to his feet and Vince blocks the crutch shot. Vince hits Paul in the midsection and then the back with the crutch.
Brock Lesnar’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. Brock takes his time to do the Brock Bounce before making his way to the ring.
Vince stands in the ring while Brock gets to the apron. Brock takes his time to enter the ring and he looks like he is going to tear the man in the purple suit apart.
Before Brock can do anything, Triple H’s music plays and Vince gets out of the ring while we wait for him to make his way onto the stage and the GAME-AH is back.
Brock goes to the floor to meet Hunter and they fight on the floor. Brock with a knee to Hunter and then he connects with elbows. Hunter sends Brock into the ring post and Lesnar is bleeding. Hunter sends Lesnar into the post again. Hunter clothesline Brock into the Garcia Box. Brock with a knee to Hunter before Hunter can use the crutch.
Lesnar with more knees and then he gets Hunger up and drops him onto the announce table with a fireman’s carry. Hunter is sent into the ring and Brock gets a chair (even though there was Gatorade to use). Before Brock can use the chair, Hunter with a spinebuster and Hunter hits Brock in the back with the chair and Lesnar falls out of the ring and to the floor.
We go to commercial with Ryback walking in the back.
We are back and Michael Cole wants the WWE Universe to send their Touts about what we saw earlier.
Match Number One: Ryback versus Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee and Big E Langston)
Ziggler avoids Ryback and he shows off. Ziggler with a waist lock and Ryback with a standing switch and a waist lock take down. Ryback with a forearm to the back followed by another waist lock take down. Ryback with a third waist lock take down. Ziggler with a kick to the knee and a drop kick to the head. Ziggler gets a near fall but Ryback with a forceful kick out.
Ziggler with punches and kicks to Ryback followed by a front face lock. Ryback picks up Ziggler an pushes him away. Ryback with a shoulder tackle and Ryback catches Ziggler on a leap frog attempt for a power slam.
Ryback sends Ziggler head first into the turnbuckles and he chops Ziggler. Ryback with another chop and forearm to the back. Ziggler with kicks and punches. Ryback catches Ziggler on a cross body attempt and Ryback with a new version of an Oklahoma slam but he drops Ziggler. Dolph rolls to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Ryback has Ziggler up for a delayed vertical suplex and he finally hits it and Ziggler rolls to the floor. Ryback sends Ziggler back into the ring but Ziggler recovers and he tries to kick Ryback but Ryback blocks the kick and he pushes Ziggler into the ring. Langston with a running body block while the referee was not looking.
Ziggler with a near fall but Ryback with a powerful kick out. Ziggler with a drop kick to the back of the head and another near fall. Ziggler with a front face lock and Ryback pushes him away. Ryback pushes Ziggler to the corner and he misses a charge into the corner. Ziggler with a delayed DDT and he gets a near fall. Ryback misses a punch and Ziggler with a sleeper.
Ryback with a backpack stunner and both men are down. Ziggler tries for a splash into the corner but Ryback move closer to Ziggler to neutralize him. Ryback tosses Ziggler into the air and then hits a spinebuster. Ryback avoids Langston’s interference while AJ distracts the referee. Ziggler tries for a sleeper but Ryback avoids it and then he hits another spinebuster followed by the marching muscle buster and he gets the three count.
It is time to take a look at the newest WWE Films presentation, The Call starring Halle Berry and featuring David Otunga.
CM Punk makes his way to the ring and we go to commercial.
We are back and CM Punk is now in the ring. He says tonight on live television, the world witnesses history. Those fortunate enough to be here live, it is a night that you will talk to your grandchildren about. A story has been told for years leading up to this moment. Tonight, you see the end of that story as well as the beginning.
There are some who would make you think that tonight is about an epic match between John Cena and CM Punk. Tonight is not about a match. Tonight is not about John Cena. Tonight is not about The Rock. Punk says that he could point at the sign and say that this is about Wrestlemania but it is not even about Wrestlemania. Tonight is not even about the people. As near and dear as the WWE Championship is to him, it is not about that championship.
Tonight is about the future and that is more important than the WWE Title, Wrestlemania, and the Rock. Tonight is about CM Punk. Tonight is about the single most important superstar of this era and eras past. It is about him taking his place at the Showcase of the Immortals in the main event.
Punk says that he has held his precious WWE Title longer than anyone in decades. He has beaten John Cena more times that he can remember. He has pinned the Rock not once, but twice in four weeks. He is the best in the world. He is the best in the world. The best in the world earns the right to go into the main event of Wrestlemania. He is not a superstar. He is an icon who walks among Superstars.
He tells us that we are watching greatness on two feet. Punk says that he is immortal and the greatest of all time. He is an icon, a legend, and the best. In this world that everyone inhabits, he is God.
There is a new name for the Hall of Fame to join Bob Backlund, Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, and Bruno Sammartino. That person is Donald Trump.
Mark Henry and Great Khali walk in the back and if John Layfield was here, he would say that we are watching Godzilla and King King walking in the back. We go to commercial.
Match Number Two: Great Khali versus Mark Henry
They lock up and Khali with a boot to Henry’s head. Khali chops Henry in the corner. Khali with more chops and head butts. Khali with a chop to the head and Henry goes to the floor. Henry sends Khali into the ring post and they return to the ring. Henry with a splash into the corner and Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.
Winner: Mark Henry
It is time to take a look at the Marine 3: Homefront starring The Miz, coming to DVD and Blu-Ray.
Miz makes his way to the ring for MizTV.
The guests for MizTV are in the ring. On one side of the ring, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger. On the other side is Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez.
Miz says that he would start things off with a lot of hype but he wants to cut to the chase. He introduces his guests.
Miz asks Zeb and Jack about the controversy they had last week. Miz says that he is giving them the opportunity to say things to Alberto’s face.
Zeb says that he was looking forward to the opportunity to talk to Glenn Beck, but since he chickened out, he is looking forward to talking to Alberto. He introduces himself and Jack as Real Americans. He says that there is a problem in this country. There are 11 million undocumented workers in this country. He calls them undocumented because of the politically correct.
They want to grant them amnesty to allow them to be citizens. Real Americans have a tough enough time getting jobs. They sneak across the border and take our jobs, our medical resources and they stomp on our productivity. Zeb says that Alberto’s people drain our resources.
Alberto interrupts and then Miz stops him to hear from Alberto.
Miz asks Alberto about obtaining citizenship in Mexico but Zeb starts to answer Miz.
Alberto says to let Zeb talk.
Zeb says that he doesn’t know anyone who wants to be a citizen of Mexico. He says that it takes ten years to become a citizen. Zeb says that a foreigner cannot own property in Mexico. He wants to know what is wrong with Alberto and his people.
Zeb tells Alberto and Sling Blade to calm down. He says that this is not personal. It is what Alberto represents. Alberto represents success and the American dream. He encourages millions of illegals to cross the border to achieve their dreams. There is only one Alberto Del Rio success story. The ones who fail forget to leave this country. He says that they are not going to stand by and let this happen. He says that we call them criminals.
Alberto and Zeb yell at each other and then Alberto tells Zeb that it is time to shut up.
Alberto says that America does not belong to Zeb or to him, it belongs to everyone. He is no different than the people in the crowd or Zeb. He says that they descend from immigrants. They both want to provide their families with a better life. They are here with the promise that if you work hard in America, everything is possible.
Alberto says that he is living proof of that. Do they think they can come out here and bully everyone while hiding behind the Constitution. Alberto says that he did not know anything about Zeb two weeks ago. He heard about people like him but he never met one like him. Alberto says that he does not like bullies and if Zeb has the cajones, why not do something to make them leave right now.
Jack takes the mic and he says that WE will see you at Wrestlemania. WE the people. Jack throws down the mic and leaves.
Randy Orton is walking in the back for his match with Antonio Cesaro and we go to commercial.