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By Richard Trionfo on 2014-08-05 20:50:16
We are in Laredo, Texas and your announcers are Byron ‘I Escaped Connecticut’ Saxton and Tom ‘Sorry You Lost the Coin Flip’ Phillips.

Alberto Del Rio comes to the ring with a Mexican Flag and he says that since we are a few miles from the border, he will speak in Spanish. After he is finished, he thanks the people for all of their support through the years.

Zeb Colter addresses Alberto and he says that he did not understand a word he was saying. Where he comes from, we speak English, not Spanish. Not Spanglish. Not Mexican. He says that he has a foreign flag in the ring speaking a foreign language. He might as well be in a foreign country. He might as well be in Mexico or Russia. Zeb says that he is pointing out the obvious.

Alberto says that we are in the border between Mexico and the United States. He cannot think of a better place to have a fight against Zeb’s little perrito than in Laredo.

Zeb says that they accept because Alberto reminds them of another jackleg carrying a foreign flag. He tells Alberto that he wants Jack to think of Alberto as Rusev.

We go to commercial.

We are back and the match that we thought we were going to have before the commercial break is going to be reality tonight.

Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil are in the ring and Heath asks if everyone saw what he did on Raw last night. If you didn’t see it, here is a recap of Heath Slater’s victory over Mr. Money in the Bank.

Heath says that tonight he is going to be in tag team action with Titus O’Neil and they are SlaterGator. Heath says that everyone is going to love SlaterGator.

Match Number One: Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil versus Goldust and Stardust

Goldust and Slater start things off and Slater isn’t really sure what to take from Stardust on the apron. Goldust with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Goldust with a reverse chin lock and punch. Goldust with a punch to Slater and Stardust tags in. Stardust with a hip toss and drop kick. Slater backs Stardust into the corner and Titus tags in and he punches Stardust. Stardust with a drop kick but Titus sends him to the apron. Stardust with a springboard chop to the top of the head.

Titus with an Irish whip but Stardust with an elbow and kick. Stardust comes off the turnbuckles but Titus catches him and Titus with a series of back breakers and he tosses Stardust away. Slater tags in and he kicks Stardust. Slater with a punch and shoulder in the corner. Titus tags in and he punches Stardust. Titus gets a near fall. Titus with a rear chin lock. Stardust with punches and a knee. Titus catches Stardust again and Stardust lands on his feet when Titus throws him to the side. Stardust with a punch and Slater tags in. Stardust kicks Slater away and Goldust tags in and he connects with clotheslines and Goldust with a drop down uppercut and reverse atomic drop and boot to the head.

Slater with an Irish whip but Goldust with a power slam. Stardust takes care of Titus but Slater tries for a sunset flip and Goldust stays on his feet. Titus kicks Goldust and Slater gets the three count.

Winners: Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater

It is time to take a look at Raw and the situation between Stephanie McMahon and Brie Bella and their contract signing.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Summer Rae versus AJ Lee in a Non Title Match

They lock up and Summer with a knee to the midsection but AJ with a victory roll for a near fall. AJ with a knee and neck breaker. AJ with a second neck breaker for a near fall. AJ with a drop kick to Summer and the referee checks on AJ who appears to have reinjured her neck. The referee holds Summer back but Summer with shots to the back. Summer sends AJ into the turnbuckles and she chokes AJ before getting a near fall.

Summer with a cobra clutch but Summer misses a short arm clothesline and AJ with the Black Widow and Summer taps out.

Winner: AJ Lee

After the match Tom Phillips asks AJ about her match at SummerSlam. AJ says that there was an adorable woman who became a queen when she won the Divas Title. Then one very dark day, an evil witch stole her throne. That did not last long because she did not wait at home for a miracle. Sometimes you have to be your white knight. Then she came back and took the title and ruined Paige’s fairy tale. She will do the same thing at SummerSlam.

Paige’s music plays and she comes out to the stage. She says that she is thrilled to see AJ back on her feet. She can be AJ’s white knight because they belong in the ring together. She respects AJ and she loves AJ. They are frenemies. She will take her title back at SummerSlam and she still wants to be AJ’s friend.

AJ says that she likes Paige’s style, but Paige will not like how this story ends. You say this is your house, she tells her little crumpet that this is her kingdom.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to take a look at the Brock Lesnar and John Cena video package that aired a few times on Raw.

Paul Heyman says that bad things happen to good people when you step into the ring with Brock Lesnar. Brock says that he is an ass kicking son of a bitch and he does not care who he pisses off. He came back to be the champ. He does not give a f*** about who is in his way. He only wants that person to feel pain. If you want to wrap your head around his world, Brock likes to hurt people.

Everything that has been put in front of Brock Lesnar, he has conquered. He comes off his biggest win of his career. He just beat the Undertaker (four months ago). He knew he was going to beat the Undertaker. Everyone knew it, but they couldn’t accept it. Did they think Taker would win because he is a mythological god? Why can’t Brock Lesnar beat John Cena at SummerSlam?

John Cena says that he does not want to talk about his successes. He is fortunate to be where he is. He only looks forward. He sees what is in front of him. Brock Lesnar is the most difficult person he has been in the ring with. He is the toughest. The good news is that he has been in the ring with Brock and he knows what he is in store for.

Brock says that he will rip John Cena limb from limb and it is going to be ugly.

John says that it will be the toughest match of his life and Paul said that John will be in for the beating of a lifetime. John says that he knows how to beat Brock. John tells Brock to come get some.

John wants to be the one who beat the one.

Brock says that he left the company to make a name for himself. If he never left, there would be no John Cena. He would not be getting paid by Fruity Pebbles.

John says that if Brock did not leave, there would be no John Cena. Brock is a mercenary and hired gun who works for money and can fight every once in a while. John says that for twelve years, he has dedicated his life to this company.

Brock says that he will rip John Cena apart at SummerSlam and he will stand over him holding the WWE Championship with pride. He will leave John in a pile of blood, urine, and vomit.

Match Number Three: Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter and American Flag) versus Alberto Del Rio (with Mexican Flag)

They lock up and Swagger with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Swagger starts a USA chant but it does not sound as vibrant as most recent shows. Swagger with another side head lock and Del Rio with a top wrist lock into a side head lock. Del Rio with a shoulder tackle and running forearm and Swagger goes to the floor.

Swagger holds his ribs while Colter discusses strategy. Swagger returns to the ring and Del Rio with a kick to the midsection followed by more kicks and punches. The referee warns Del Rio and then Swagger sends Del Rio into the corner and he connects with knees. Del Rio with a kick but Swagger sends Del Rio over the top rope to the floor. Swagger goes to the floor and he sends Del Rio into the ringside barrier.

Swagger sends Del Rio into the apron and then he rolls Del Rio back in. Del Rio with an enzuigiri that knocks Swagger down on the apron and we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio with a rear chin lock but Swagger powers out of the hold and he punches Del Rio. Swagger charges into the corner and Del Rio moves. Swagger goes shoulder first into the ring post. Del Rio pulls the injured shoulder into the ring post to soften the body part for the cross arm breaker. Del Rio sends Swagger shoulder first into the ringside barrier. Del Rio rolls Swagger back into the ring.

Del Rio with a double sledge from the turnbuckles for a near fall. Del Rio punches Swagger but Swagger with a kick and punches of his own. Swagger with an Irish whip but Swagger misses a splash in the corner and Swagger goes down, holding his ribs and shoulder. Del Rio with a suplex and he gets a near fall.

Del Rio with a reverse chin lock. Swagger backs Del Rio into the corner and he connects with shoulders. Swagger puts Del Rio on the turnbuckles and Swagger punches Del Rio but Alberto applies the cross arm breaker while in the ropes. Del Rio goes up top again and Swagger crotches Del Rio. Swagger sets for a superplex and he hits it but both men are down. Swagger gets a near fall.

Swagger with a clothesline and a running knee into the corner. Swagger with an Irish whip and boot to the head. Swagger sets for the double jump Swagger Bomb and he hits it for a near fall. Swagger punches Del Rio in the corner but Del Rio punches back. Del Rio with a tornado DDT and he gets a near fall. Del Rio signals for the cross arm breaker and he tries to float over but Swagger escapes and he hits a belly-to-belly slam for a near fall.

Del Rio kicks Swagger into the ropes and then Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker followed by a super kick and he gets a near fall. Del Rio kicks Swagger and then he goes for the float over and he applies the cross arm breaker. Swagger tries to lock his hands to neutralize the hold, but Del Rio stops Swagger. Swagger escapes and applies the ankle lock but Del Rio sends Swagger into the turnbuckles. Del Rio hobbles into an attempted step up enzuigiri but Swagger ducks and Swagger applies the ankle lock again and Del Rio taps out.

Winner:Jack Swagger

We go to credits.

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