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By Stuart Carapola on 2014-03-27 23:00:32
Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report on!

We open the show with a look back at last week when James Storm attacked and humiliated Gunner and his dad, and then we're off to the arena!

We go to the ring where MVP says he came here to promote a level playing field where people get ahead based on how they perform in the ring, not because of cheating or shady backstage manipulations. He starts to talk about how he talked to the Board of Directors about making an executive decision after Abyss' interference last week, but he's interrupted by Magnus and Abyss. Magnus says that MVP can't make any decisions about Abyss because he works for Magnus and not TNA, so MVP says that's fine because that means he can only be out here when Magnus is wrestling and he better not ever put his hands on him again. MVP wants to know if Abyss wants more for himself, or if he's happy being the world's ugliest valet. Magnus says he doesn't like where this is going, then MVP asks Abyss if he wants a shot at the TNA World Title. Magnus tells MVP he can't do that, but MVP says we'll find out where Abyss' loyalties lie when the TNA World Title is on the line. Magnus will defend against Abyss next week, along with the guy who's been getting shafted all along, Samoa Joe, in a three way dance for the title. Samoa Joe comes out and the fans inform Magnus and Abyss that Joe is going to kill them, and he says he wants to make sure he heard MVP right because he and the fans have only ever asked him for one thing: an uninterrupted, fair opportunity to face Magnus alone so he can take back his World Title. Instead, he's hearing that HIS rematch is now a handicap match. MVP says it's not that at all, it's a three way match for the title because Abyss will think for himself with the title on the line. Joe tells MVP he's about to have a problem controlling him, and then he attacks Magnus. Abyss jumps Joe, but MVP goes after Abyss to even the playing field until Eric Young comes into the ring to attack Abyss. Magnus tries to stop him, but Young mule kicks Magnus in the ding ding and goes back after Abyss as we go to commercial.

We're back, and the heels have cleared out and left Joe, EY, and MVP alone in the ring. Young tells MVP that he has an answer for MVP: he brought out the monster in Abyss, and it's his responsibility to take him out. If MVP puts Joe in the ring with Magnus for the title, Young wants MVP to put him in there as well so he can take care of Abyss. MVP tells EY that he doesn't think he's earned that yet, but EY says that MVP has been here for ten minutes, but EY has been here for ten years. He runs down all the stuff he's done over the course of his career, all the titles he's won (including the Knockouts Tag Team Title), and all the crazy ideas the company has given him that he's taken and run with. Some people call him the most entertaining wrestler in the world and that's important to him, but the man standing in front of MVP right now is a world class professional wrestler and he will get what he deserves. Joe tells Young that nobody doubts the work he's put in, but there's a line and he's not at the head of it. MVP hasn't given Joe his one fair title shot, and until he gets what he wants, Young gets nothing. MVP tells Joe to wait because we are talking about a level playing field, and since Young has made his case, he'll make it a four way title match and add Eric Young. Joe gets in Young's face, so Young takes Joe down and they roll around on the ground pounding the snot out of each other. MVP has them separated, so Joe tells EY that if he wants to scrap with the big boys, they can do it later tonight. Well hell yeah!

Bully Ray is backstage, and he's...TWEETING! The Twittah Machine is back, and he wants Bobby Roode to know that if you mess with the bull, you're going to get the horns.

The Wolves catch up with MVP on his way through the curtain and request a match with Abyss and Magnus later on tonight. MVP asks them if they know what they're getting themselves into, and they say they're ready for it, so MVP says he'll make it happen, but he won't be responsible for what Magnus and Abyss.

Ethan Carter III and Spud are out in the woods somewhere. I guess we'll find out what they're up to later on tonight.

Okay, we're back and EC# and Spud are still in the woods and are looking for Willow. EC3 says he retired Sting and Kurt Angle, and now they're here for vengeance and will attack Willow in his home. Spud says this is a suicide mission, but EC3 says that we know what they say: "Shut up and follow me." Spud says nobody says that and begs for food as they march off to continue their search.

The Wolves vs Brutus Magnus & Abyss

Davey and Magnus start us off, and Magnus gets a brief advantage before Davey tags in Eddie and they trap Magnus in their half of the ring ofr a series of double teams. Magnus blind tags Abyss, and he comes in and wipes the Wolves out with a double clothesline as we go to commercial.

We're back, and Eddie Edwards is in the wrong part of town as he endures a 2-on-1 beating from Abyss and the World Champion. Eddie finally manages to catch Magnus with a flying headscissors out of the corner and manages to tag in Davey Richards, who zips across the ring and knocks Abyss off the apron with a big boot. Davey goes to work on Magnus, nailing him with the handspring enziguiri, then sidesteps a charge from Abyss and sends him crashing into Magnus. Davey hits a double missile dropkick to both opponents, then fires kicks into the chest of Magnus. The Wolves hit their finish, but Abyss breaks up the cover by Eddie at the last millisecond. Abyss goes for a double chokeslam, but the Wolves backflip through, land on their feet, and dropkick Abyss' legs out. The Wolves knock Abyss out to the floor and Davey takes him out with a dive as Eddie rolls Magnus into the Achilles Lock, and Magnus wastes no time in tapping out.

Winners: The Wolves

Abyss looks confused at Magnus tapping out so quickly, but Magnus shrugs it off because the title wasn't on the line. They have a tense staredown as Abyss walks toward Magnus with the title belt in hand. Magnus holds his hands out so Abyss can hand him the belt, but Abyss keeps it and heads to the back as Magnus looks on in disbelief.

Angelina Love comes out to the ring with a mic and says she has an issue with Velvet Sky because she hasn't returned her calls all week. Before this escalates any further, she wants Velvet to come out here and explain what the hell is going on. Velvet comes out and tells Angelina that she has more than a problem: she's pissed off. Angelina told Velvet that she was going to go make nice with Madison, and instead she wound up mopping the floor with her. She says she didn't sign up for this, but Angelina asks if she signed up for being mediocre because that's what she is without Angelina: vanilla. Velvet doesn't say a word, so Angelina asks if she's being quiet because she's right, and because she used to be something when she was in the Beautiful People. Velvet says things have changed, but Angelina says she sat home for two years because she's a headache, but she'd rather do that than be someone's biatch. Angelina says she has a match with Madison tonight, and by the time the bell rings to end that match, Velvet had better pick a side, and pick one because she wants to, not because Angelina is telling her to. Angelina walks off and Velvet looks really pissed off (and hot).

We see a video package hyping tonight's Unlocked Match between James Storm and Gunner, then EC3 and Spud are still wandering around in the woods, and then Bully Ray is backstage, and he's...SMASHING THINGS!

We're back in the woods where Ethan Carter III is trying to send Spud into a barn, and Spud won't go so EC3 goes in himself. We hear him screaming inside and Spud freaks out, but spud sticks his head out laughing and says it's more classic EC3. EC3 starts looking around making comments about Jeff Hardy putting ladders in here to practice Swantons, but he doesn't see Willow sneak up behind Spud, clap a hand over his mouth, and drag him away. EC3 turns around and looks for Spud...BUT HE'S GONE.

Another Gunner-James Storm video package, and we're STILL going to see them face off later tonight in an Unlocked Match!

A suddenly super-fan friendly Bully Ray comes out to the ring and has a bunch of guys brings tables down the ramp and set them up around ringside and in the ring. He asks the fans if they know who he is, and says he's the guy who got rid of Dixie Carter forever. Bully tells Roode that he would have wound up just like Dixie if he had won that match, and the last thing wrestling needs is another owner like Dixie Carter. They've both put each other through tables, so he asks the fans how many tables they want to see Roode go through tonight. Roode comes out and asks Bubba if he thinks he intimidates him, and he admits that the opportunity to own part of the company blinded him, but now he remembers that he's the guy who became the longest-reigning and most dominant World Champion in the history of TNA. He's the guy who smashed a beer bottle over his best friend's head, and he's the guy who spit in the face of Dixie Carter way before spitting in her face became cool. He's also the guy who suckered Bubba into flying to Nashville just to give Bubba a taste of his own medicine. Bubba tells Roode to quit running his mouth and get in the ring and fight him now, but Roode says this is pathetically typical of Bubba. Bubba can't tell the It Factor what to do because he's the guy who calls the shots around here and he decides when and where. Roode tells Bubba it's not going to happen and he tries to leave, but Bubba goes after Roode and nails him from behind. Bubba batters Roode all the way back to the ring and smashes his face into the ring steps before tearing his shirt off and chopping Roode hard across the chest. Bubba puts Roode on a table and goes for an elbowdrop, Roode rolls out of the way, but Bubba stops himself and drops down to the floor to chop Roode again. Roode dodges another shot and Bubba nails the table, then Roode smashes Bubba's hand into the barricade, the ring post, then tries to suplex Bubba onto one of the tables at ringside. Bubba blocks, so Roode shoves Bubba into the ringpost and goes back after the bad arm. They wind up on the apron and Bubba tries to powerbomb Roode through a table at ringside, but Roode backdrops Bubba into the ring and goes for a Blockbuster. Bubba avoids it and starts firing at Roode with jabs and the Dusty elbow, but Roode dodges a running boot and Bubba puts his foot through a table that was stood up in the corner. Bubba tries to powerbomb Roode through another table, but Roode slips out and dodges another charge, causing Bubba to crash head first through another table. Bubba is out as Roode leaves the ring, giving Bubba one last evil glare on the way out.

Abyss comes into Magnus' dressing room, and Magnus says he believes Abyss has something for him, and Abyss tosses him the belt and asks what the hell just happened when he tapped out in under two seconds. Magnus says he has no problem tapping when the title isn't on the line, Abyss says he doesn't like losing, and Magnus says that he made it clear when he hired Abyss that him keeping the title is all their arrangement is about. Magnus asks if that is clear, then tells Abyss not to let Abyss get in his head because he'll just wind up being someone's freak show.

Madison Rayne and Angelina Love are backstage, and they're...WALKING! They'll face off after this commercial break!

James Storm and Gunner are backstage, and they're...MENTALLY PREPARING!

We go to Knux in his hometown where a flood destroyed everything his high school girlfriend had. Her bar, arcade machines, and car have all been wiped out,and he asks how the old man is doing, but the girl yells at him for running off to chase his dreams and leaving his family here to drown. Knux looks conflicted, but she suddenly turns nice and tells Knux to go talk to the old man in the shed up by the house. Guess we'll pick up there next week, so let's go back to the ring...

Angelina Love vs Knockouts Champion Madison Rayne

Madison jumps Angelina as she enters the ring and puts the boots to her in the corner. Angelina rolls out to the floor and calls for a time out, but Madison chases her around ringside and back into the ring, dodging an elbowdrop on the way in. Velvet Sky comes down to ringside to watch the action as Angelina dodges a charge and causes Madison to sail out to the floor. Angelina goes out and gives Velvet a look as she brings Madison back inside. Madison gets caught with a couple of two counts, but Angelina recovers and dumps Madison out to the floor where Velvet tries to encourage her to get back inside. Angelina goes out to ringside and argues with Velvet before tossing Madison back inside and covers her for 2. Angelina is wasting a lot of time arguing with Velvet instead of going after Madison, but she keeps control ofthe champion with a choke on the ropes and a face gouge. Madison plants Angelina with a spinning bulldog to finally break Angelina's momentum, and she begins to mount a comeback. Madison with a northern lights suplex for 2, then a basement dropkick sends Angelina tumbling out to the floor right at Velvet's feet. Angelina screams at Velvet for supporting Madison, and doesn't see Madison come in to wipe her out with a baseball slide. Velvet suddenly grabs Madison and DDTs her on the floor, then rolls Madison inside so Angelina can cover her as Velvet points and laughs from ringside.

Winner: Angelina Love

Velvet continues to laugh and mock Madison as she BFFs up with Angelina.

ODB comes up to Eric Young and tells him to be safe since he's finally getting his shot at the World Title tonight, but Eric says he's going to prove to Joe that all the people who doubt him are making a mistake.

Kenny King is FINALLY back on Impact, as he comes into MVP's office and asks who his sacrificial lamb is going to be. MVP says things got out of hand tonight, but he's got a great opponent for the King next week.

Samoa Joe vs Eric Young

Joe walks up to Young and shoves him, so Young starts firing off punches and a running dropkick on Joe. Young gets caught with ak nee to the breadbasket, but Young nails Joe with a flying forearm for 1. Joe whips Young to the corner and he Flair flips to the apron where Joe drills him with a kick to the chest. Young tries to fire back with more punches, but Joe runs him over with a back elbow and hammers him with a charging elbow and a leaping enziguiri in the corner. Joe covers, but Young is out at 2. Joe hits the chop to the back/kick to the chest/kneedrop combo for 2, but young gets away and they end up wiping each other out with a double clothesline. Young mounts a comeback and bodyslams Joe, then heads to the top rope for his flying elbow. Joe is up and Young leaps over him and then charges him in the corner, but he gets caught with the STJoe for 2. Young takes Joe down and goes for a moonsault, but Joe moves and catches Young in the Kokina Clutch. Young tries to do the Bret Hart sleeper counter, but Joe won't let him go over and he ends up taking Young down and choking him out.

Winner: Samoa Joe

Earl Hebner comes down to ringside and informs his son Brian, who refereed the match, that Joe had his shoulders down flat while he was checking Young's arm. Brian realizes he blew the call as we realize that we have a disputed finish!

James Storm is backstage, and he's...WALKING! He'll face Gunner after this break!

Back to the woods as Ethan Carter III says we never leave a man behind, then he goes into a creepy cabin to go looking for Spud.

We go back to last week after Impact ended when Samuel Shaw tells a cameraman to follow him if he wants something interesting to see, then he corners Christy Hemme in the Knockouts locker room. She begs him to just leave her alone and slaps him when he backs her against a wall, but he says he just wants one thing, and he takes a pair of scissors to cut a lock of her hair off. He leaves, she cries, and we find out that earned Shaw a one week suspension. This looks way more like harassment than Aries sticking his crotch in her face a year or two ago.

Another video package hyping tonight's main event, then it's off to the ring for our main event!

No DQ, No Countouts, Anything Goes: James Storm vs Gunner

Gunner comes tearing out of the back and attacks Storm before introductions are even finished, Storm nails Gunner and sets up one of the tables left over from the Roode-Bubba angle from earlier, but Gunner fights back before Storm has a chance to put him through it. Storm tries to get away, but Gunner catches Storm and suplexes him on the floor. Storm dorp toeholds Gunner into the ring steps, then grabs a drink from a fan and smashes it over Gunner's head. Storm drills Gunner with a running boot to the head and then he suplexes Gunner onto the ramp to one up the suplex on the floor earlier. Gunner pops up and smashes Storm's head into the ring steps, then drills him in the ribs with a chair. Gunner rolls Storm inside, but Storm comes off the second rope with a DDT as Gunner comes back in the ring, and we're at commercial.

We're back as Storm tries to ram Gunner into a chair wedged in the corner, but Gunner blocks and they start hammering each other in the head with trash can lids. Storm finally drills him with one NASTY shot, but Gunner spears Storm and covers for 2. Storm catapults Gunner headfirst into the chair in the corner and then hits the lungblower and comes off the top with an elbowdrop for 2. Storm goes out to the apron, but Gunner pops up and spears Storm through the ropes, sending both men crashing through a table at ringside. Gunner rolls Storm inside and covers for 2, then sets up a two chair platform in the middle of the ring. Gunner puts Storm on the top rope and suplerplexes him through the chairs, but Storm somehow gets a shoulder up at 2. Gunner goes for the Gun Rack, but Storm gets out, hits the Last Call, and two Last Calls, but Gunner now kicks out at 2. Gunner looks up and sees Storm's beer bottle, and he smashes it over Storm's head, hits the Gun Rack, and covers for the win.

Winner: Gunner

Hell of a brawl to cap off a great episode of Impact!

We go back to the creepy cabin where Ethan Carter III is looking for Jeff Hardy, then corrects himself and calls out for Willow, saying he won't burn the place to the ground if he gives Spud back. EC3 finds Spud tied up and gagged in a corner, and he asks where Willow is, but Spud just freaks out when he hears Willow's howl. EC3 asks Willow where he is, and Willow pops up behind him and says "Here." before beating Carter down. Willow disappears and Carter says that if Willow wants to play games, it's game on.

Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on! I'll be back tomorrow to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!

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