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CATCHING UP WITH CHIKARA: LOOKING AT THEIR BIG EVENTS FROM THE LAST MONTH

Since Smart Mark Video began offering mp4 downloads of various events, recapping the latest Chikara events will be easier. So here we are with the events in February 2012. Starting with:

A Death Worse than Fate
February 25, 2012
Goodwill Beneficial Hall
Reading, PA

We start with a promo from Green Ant, speaking about becoming the first person to make Mike Quackenbush tap out in Chikara competition. He mentions that Ophidian won’t have the advantage of attacking him from behind, and that he is coming into the match with tons of confidence.

Ophidian defeated Green Ant with a Cobra Clutch Death Grip after dropping Green Ant throat first on the exposed turnbuckle. Ophidian had been targeting Green Ant’s throat and neck throughout the match with various chops. Ophidian is still carrying the masks of Amasis and Hieracon, along with his own old mask, and talking (and listening) to them.

In her official Chikara debut, Saturyne defeated El Hijo del Ice Cream with a springboard huracanrana. No Ice Cream, Jr. accompanying his brother.

The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield and Mr. Touchdown) defeated Fire Ant and Soldier Ant by disqualification. Mr. Touchdown does in fact take off the shoulder pads to wrestle.   There were several Rudy chants, directed at Mr. Touchdown, who uses football drills as part of his offense, throughout the match. Mr. Touchdown had Fire Ant in a Fireman’s Carry position with Hatfield climbing to the top turnbuckle when Green Ant came from the back to push Dasher off the top. Referee Jon Barber called for the bell as Green Ant left. Green Ant said on his twitter (@greenantchikara) later that weekend that it certainly was not him who pushed Dasher, as he was attended to by the doctor in the locker room. 

In a rescheduled match from last year’s 12 Large Summit, Brodie Lee defeated Jigsaw after a truck stop, big boot, and Liger bomb. Lee requested the mic and said that in Canada, he’s coming for the Grand Championship no matter who is holding it. Brodie
Lee will get his title shot on March 25 in Ottawa.

In the back, Kobald reminds us that Reading is where the Batiri revealed itself and that Kobald will defeat the mortal champion Colt Cabana, since he is no mere mortal.

Colt Cabana defeated Kobald with Billy Goat’s Curse. Kobald went for the quick attack before the bell, but Kobald scurried when that proved ineffective. Kobald retreated to the audience after a Kiwi roll and airplane spin, hiding behind “fake Seth Rogen.”
Colt Cabana back bump count: 2

The quartet of the BDK and The Batiri (Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, Obariyon, and Kodama) defeated 3.0, Eddie Kingston, and Greg Iron where Tim Donst caught Iron with a shoelace-assisted rear naked choke. Hammermeier has adopted Donst’s black gear now that Donst is his new mentor. Shane Matthews was given several Red Bulls from members of the audience and Red Bulled up before he hooked up with Hammermeier.

Sara Del Rey defeated Archibald Peck with the Royal Butterfly submission. Del Rey hit a delayed Northern Lights Suplex. Veronica entered the ring to throw Archie her baton. When Bryce saw Archie with the baton, Sara hit Veronica with a Koppou kick before hitting one on Archie, which led to the Royal Butterfly. Archie blocked the suplex, but Del Rey sunk in to get the submission.

In the back, Ultramantis Black reminds us that he has yet to win any Chikara title, but he will get the accolades tonight.

Wink Vavasseur is in the ring for the prematch photo. And Icarus, who has dyed his hair and goatee darker, is substituting for the injured Johnny Gargano.

FIST retained the Campeonatos de Parejas, defeating The Spectral Envoy two falls to one. Icarus schoolboyed Hallowicked after throwing powder in his eyes to get the first fall. Hallowicked connected with a yakuza kick on Icarus to get the second fall. Delirious seemed to have the third fall, but Delirious came out, wearing his black and green gear, and hit Ultramantis Black with the praying mantis bomb to allow Icarus to get the third fall.

Other notes: Bryce Remsburg and Gavin Loudspeaker handled commentary for the first half of the show. Mike Quackenbush and Leonard F. Chikarason handled most of the second half. Tim Donst replaced Quack for the main event. Jon Barber was the referee for the first half, and Bryce was in charge of the second half matches. On commentary, Chikarason noted that it was the biggest crowd in Reading history.

And now that it’s done downloading we can watch:

Caught in a Spider’s Den
February 26, 2012
NYWC Sportatorium
Deer Park, NY

We are in the back with Francis Kipland Stevens introducing himself to the Chikara fans as the original hip hop nerd.

Francis Stevens, from the NYWC roster, takes off his glasses and replaces them with sports goggles after dropping the pocket protector. Kobald, during the match, stole the goggles and wore them for most of the rest of the match. Kobald gets the win after a Demon’s Toilet, which is a whoopie cushion from the top.

In the back, 3.0 again complain about the heat from the production lights and promise to win today and cash in their three points with home ice advantage when Chikara heads to Canada in March.

3.0 defeated The Throwbacks after Matthews hits a spear on Mr. Touchdown. During the match, Hatfield and Matthews trade insults a la The Sandlot, despite 3.0 claiming their respect for Hatfield pre-match. The win gives 3.0 their third point, and they will challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas in Vaughan, Ontario on March 24. 3.0 shakes hands with Hatfield, but Mr. Touchdown refuses.

Ophidian defeated Archibald Peck with a small package. Veronica was clutching at her jaw since she got kicked by Sara Del Rey the night before in Reading. Before the match, Veronica made eyes with Mr. Touchdown as he returned to the locker room. As he was hooking in his finishing maneuver, Peck decided to thank everyone for coming and plug his new t-shirt, which allowed Ophidian to cradle Peck for the win. Veronica left as quickly as possible after the match, abandoning Peck.

Delirious is in the ring with the microphone. He talks about the two years that he lost under the spell of the Eye of Tyr, but that he remembers everything. He says that Ultramantis Black’s sense of vanity and arrogance has become his mistake, and in due time, he will be exposed as the false prophet and that he will suffer for two years, slowly and chained to the wheel of karma. 2014 will be Ultramantis Black’s end.

Gran Akuma is in the back, promising Chuck Taylor will get his first look at the brand new Gran Akuma.

Icarus comes out as the self-appointed guest ring announcer for the trial series match between Chuck Taylor and Gran Akuma. After the match got started, Icarus stayed ringside and tried to interfere or distract Akuma any chance he got. In the end, Akuma countered out of the Awful Waffle and rolled up Taylor with a tornado clutch for the win. After the match, Icarus and Taylor attacked Akuma multiple times before finally heading to the back.

Sara Del Rey defeated Saturyne with a royal butterfly. LFC and Gavin reminded viewers that this was only Saturyne’s fourth professional match. Saturyne was able to wiggle out of the royal butterfly once, but got caught with a second one and got suplexed for the pinfall.

Colt Cabana is in the back and said he planned to challenge Sugar Dunkerton tonight, but since Dunkerton is temporarily off the roster, he’s going to the “next best black” competitor: Ultramantis Black. He knows Mantis is power-hungry, but as a “Jewish wrestler,” Cabana will show just how power-hungry he can be.

In the ring, Colt Cabana redubs himself Colt Cabana White for the match against Ultramantis Black. Plenty of fun Colt Cabana silliness including the look up there game, Bryce slapping both participants, and all three passing out from dizziness from a rolling small package. Ultramantis Black counters the Flying [Apple] with an O’Connor Roll for the win. This was a first time meeting of two men who were on the first Chikara event.

The next match was atomicos action pitting Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, Obariyon, and Kodama against Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Fire Ant, and Soldier Ant. At the end of the match, a Green Ant dressed in black jumped the guardrail and got on the apron. The real Green Ant came out of the locker room, just before the fake Green Ant clotheslined Mike Quackenbush. Four other masked men in black jumped the guardrails and joined the attack. The fake Green Ant took off his mask to reveal another mask. Ultramantis Black, The Throwbacks, and Steve “The Turtle” Weiner ran out to make the save when the men tried to take off the masks of the Colony and Jigsaw. The match was ruled a disqualification victory for the tecnicos. 

Eddie Kingston defeated Vin Gerard with two backfists to the future. Prior to the match, Kingston and Gerard brawled all around the building with Gerard continuing to work on Kingston’s knee. Senior Referee Bryce Remsburg was very adamant about the rules with Gerard, repeatedly threatening with the 5-count. Kingston yelled at Gerard, “get out of my promotion,” before hitting the second backfist. With the loss, Vin Gerard has to retire from wrestling.

Other notes: Colt Cabana, Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Ultramantis Black, and Leonard Chikarason did shifts on commentary. Derek Morningstar and Jon Barber shared refereeing duties for the first half before Bryce Remsburg took over for the final three matches.

The aftermath: After the shows, the five men who attacked were revealed as the Gekido: 17, The Shard, CombatAnt, AssailAnt, and DeviAnt. They will be officially debuting on the Canadian events, which I will preview in the coming week.

The events are both available via smartmarkvideo.com in mp4 and DVD formats.

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