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WWE RAW REPORT: THIS IS YOUR LIFE II: HITTING ROCK BOTTOM; TRENDING ON TWITTER IS PROBABLY TRENDING ON TWITTER; SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH PARTICPANTS IN ACTION

By Richard Trionfo on 2011-11-14 23:02:17
We are live from Boston, Massachusetts and your announcers are Michael ‘A No Win Situation for the fans’ Cole and Jerry ‘Will Rog and Rerun be out there with Dwayne tonight’ Lawler.

Michael Cole makes his way to the ring and there is something in the ring for the Michael Cole Challenge involving him and Jim Ross. Cole gets the reception he deserves and he welcomes everyone to a very special Raw. Michael says that Jim Ross has finally shown some guts and he is here in Boston to take the Michael Cole Challenge.

Michael brings out the closest thing to a cartoon float and that is Jim Ross.

Cole tells Jim that he is glad that he could make it. Cole says that there are three challenges. If he wins all three, then Jim Ross gets his job back and Michael Cole will quit.

The first challenge is arm wrestling. Cole stalls and does some stretching to stall and anger Jim Ross. Jim Ross wins without even having to go ‘over the top’.

Cole says that they started it too quick. Cole says that he gave up because Jim’s barbecue breath smells like spoiled meat and he was ready to pass out.

It is time for the second challenge and it is something that Cole is undefeated in. Cole says that he is so confident that he will let everyone vote on who they think will win this competition. We are going to have a dance competition. Cole goes first and he asks Jim if he wants to forfeit. Now it is time for Jim to dance.

The crowd votes and they are clearly behind Jim Ross and he wins.

It is now time for the third challenge and Cole talks about what will happen if Jim Ross can win this challenge. Cole gets in a Boston Red Sox choking joke and Cole says that the competition is ‘who weighs less’.

Cole goes first and his weight is 200 pounds. Jim Ross gets on the scale and it is 239 pounds.

Cole celebrates his victory but he is interrupted by CM Punk.

Cole yells at Punk for ruining his moment and tells Punk that he has no right being out here.

Cole wants to know how Punk can interrupt his moment.

Punk tells Cole that his time is up. Punk says that this has everything to do with him. When it became painfully obvious that Cole wasn’t going to give Jim Ross a legitimate shot to get his job back, it became a colossal waste of time, except for Jim Ross dancing.

We know that Jim Ross is a better announcer than Michael Cole so the entire Michael Cole show is a colossal waste of his time and the audience’s time. Punk tells Cole that his fifteen minutes of fame are done. He had his Wrestlemania moment and with him, The Funkmaster, and Alberto Del Rio have made this show unbearable. People wish that they could fast forward through Cole. Punk mentions that it is bad enough that people have to listen to him for two hours but tonight it is a three hour show.

Punk says that he wants to make this an entertaining show and he will do whatever it takes to make the show interesting. Punk says that he is taking the spotlight off Cole’s spraytanned, unfunny, and untalented . . .

Speaking of untalented, John Laurinaitis comes out. John says that people wanted to see the competition and not see it broken up (even though it was done).

Punk tells John to screw him and his Twitter followers.

John says that he cares about his Twitter followers and the WWE Universe so he is going to have CM Punk team with Big Show to face Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio. John wishes Punk luck.

Cole laughs at Laurinaitis’ announcement and he says that it appears that the pipe bomb blew up in Punk’s face. Cole demands that Punk apologizes to him and he wants Punk to say that he is sorry for what Punk says.

Punk thinks about it and he sends Cole to the mat with a head butt and he puts Cole in the Anaconda Vice and Cole is the one apologizing.

Matt Striker is in the back and a limo shows up and he is waiting for the arrival of one of the biggest stars and it is Mick Foley.

Mick says that he spared no expense to make sure that this is a night that neither the Rock or John Cena will ever forget. Foley with the vintage Mick Foley Cheap Pop and he walks away. We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Cody Rhodes losing to Randy Orton two weeks ago on Smackdown.

We are back and Jim Ross joins Jerry Lawler at the announce table.

Cody Rhodes says that two weeks ago, Randy Orton emasculated him. That is not true. Randy Orton emancipated him. Cody with his Pure Evil laugh.

Match Number One: Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston versus Cody Rhodes and Hunico

Hunico and Sin Cara start things off and Cara mocks Hunico for his mask loss. Cara with kicks and Cara avoids Hunico trying to low cut him. Cara with an arm drag and then he tags in Kingston and Kofi with a double sledge from the turnbuckles. Hunico with an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow and then Kofi with a reverse monkey flip and then he drop kicks Rhodes to the floor. Kofi goes up top and hits a cross body on Cody while Cara hits a cross body from the other turnbuckle on Hunico and we go to commercial.

We are back and Rhodes with a front face lock on Cara and then he hits a gourdbuster and then Hunico with a slingshot senton for a near fall. Hunico with a camel clutch into a rear chin lock. Hunico with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker and then he tags Cody back in. Cody with a boot to the leg followed by a knee to the midsection and a punch.

Hunico tags back in and he punches Cara. Cara counters a tilt-a-whirl back breaker into a rana and rollup for a near fall. Hunico with a reverse chin lock. Cara with elbows but Hunico with a forearm. Cody tags in and he connects with a forearm to the back. Cara with a head scissors take down.

Kofi tags in and hits a somersault into a clothesline followed by a drop kick. Kofi with a double jump cross body for a near fall. Hunico and Cara get involved. Kofi sends Hunico to the floor and then Cara with a corkscrew pescado onto Hunico but meanwhile in the ring, Cody Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes fro the three count.

Winners: Cody Rhodes and Hunico

The Rock is walking in the back and we go to commercial.

We are back and Santino is playing WWE ’12 while using Rock. Zack Ryder interrupts and wants Santino to sign his online petition to get a United States Title Match. Santino says that he is playing the ‘Peoples’ Edition of WWE ’12. Santino says that Rock won the vote to be on the cover. Zack says that his broski will beat Rock any night of the week. Santino throws out an ‘It doesn’t matter’. Zack says that they can agree that Rock and Cena will win at Survivor Series.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and she throws out an Excuse Me. She says that she has some bad news. Earlier today, WWE.com reported that Christian has suffered a serious ankle injury in Europe. Christian will not be able to wrestle at Survivor Series. Vickie says that wwe.com will not blame Teddy Long for making Christian compete. Vickie says that she has talked to her friend John Laurinaitis and she is happy to announce . . .

Dolph Ziggler says that he is happy to announce that he is on Team Barrett. Dolph points out that he is the one with the title and the looks. He is officially in action at Survivor Series on Sunday. Tonight it is on to bigger things. He is going to face something that is more cyborg than man. He is going to face Mason Ryan. He says that Mason will get a taste of what Team Orton is in store for on Sunday.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole and John Laurinaitis tell Jim Ross to leave to Michael Cole can make his triumphant return to the announce table. Ross taps Cole on his injured arm and to make things worse, Dolph’s opponent makes his way to the ring. Cole says that he is thinking about suing CM Punk for what happened.

Match Number Two: Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero versus Mason ‘AlmosTista’ Ryan

They lock up and Ryan sends Ziggler into the corner but Ziggler avoids a charge into the corner. Ryan stops Ziggler from getting out of the ring and then Ryan with a shoulder into the corner followed by a boot to the head. Ryan presses Ziggler over his head and Vickie gets on the apron and Ryan tosses Ziggler behind him. Ryan slaps Vickie and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Mason Ryan by disqualification

After the match, John Morrison sends Ziggler into the ring and Ryan with a Not So Masterful Full Nelson followed by a full nelson slam.

Mick Foley is walking in the back and he is shaking hands with people and he sees Zack Ryder. Ryder asks Foley to sign his online petition. Foley gets Ryder to teach him to do the fist pumping.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to see the Return of Hardcore Legend Mick Foley. Foley thanks everyone for the warm response. As a Kansas farm girl once said, ‘there’s no place like home’. While it is great fun to be back in the WWE, he is here to talk about serious business. Sunday at the Survivor Series will be an epic pairing of one of the greatest tag teams ever. They say it is ‘Never Before . . . Never Again’. Mick mentions the Rock and Cena Connection.

Mick says that people should see John Cena more like he sees him, as one of the greatest performers in WWE history. Mick says that he is going to fix things and make them right. Mick Foley introduces his good friend . . . John Cena.

Cena makes his way to the ring and he asks if you can believe this. A sold out TD Garden in Boston and Mick Foley invites him to join him in the ring. Cena says that the Rock and him don’t have to be friends to be a tag team. He asked Rock to be his partner because Rock is fantastic. He is electrifying. He is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment. He didn’t ask the Rock to be his partner because he is his friend.

Mick says that he may have pushed things by saying that they are friends. Their relationship is based on mutual respect. Cena says that he respects Mick Foley for everything that he has done. Foley says that he watched the way that Cena reacted to things back in 2006. Foley says that he wrote Cena a letter saying that he was impressed with the way that Cena handled things in the back. Foley then says that he did something on Twitter after Raw and he says that it was time to show some respect for the legacy of great matches that John Cena has had in WWE. Foley says that it was a firestorm of controversy. Foley says that he thinks that Cena is one of the best to ever step in the ring.

Foley has his mashup shirt for both Cena and Rock. Foley with another Mick Foley Cheap Pop and he says that he wants to be the thread to bring Rock and Cena together. Foley says that he can do it with ‘John Cena . . . This is Your Life’

Cena says that he doesn’t think that this is a good idea.

Foley wants them to show the emotionally powerful video tribute. Mick says that he said it would be powerful. Cena wants to know what song they used. Foley has a voice from Cena’s past and it is John’s Little League coach Will Grey. Mick wants Will to share the story that he told Mick. Will talks about how Cena was at bat with his team down by a run with the bases loaded and Cena struck out. Cena corrects Will and says that he struck out looking. Will says that he told John that he would be a better person because of that and he cried. Cena tells Foley that he is striking out now.

Mick brings out someone else who was instrumental in his early years. Mick brings out his rap partner Bull Buchanan. Cena says that is so wonderful. Foley wants the catching up to begin. Cena says that it is great to see him. Mick wants Buchanan to talk about how instrumental Cena was. Bull says that Cena was his best tag team partner. He says that he doesn’t want to get emotional or mushy but tagging with Cena was the best time of his life. Eventually they broke up, like all great tag teams. Cena is one of the greatest superstars of all time but Bull mentions that he got fired. His old lady left him and he got divorced. He lost all of his money in a Ponzi Scheme. Bull mentions that his dog bit him and gave him rabies so it ended his career. Bull tells Cena that he ruined his life.

Cena says that it was something worse than the Shockmaster.

Mick says that he has one more person in the back who loves him. Foley brings out John Cena Senior. Papa John has something to say to the WWE Universe, especially the testosterone injecting morons who keep chanting ‘Cena Sucks’. He says that Cena doesn’t suck, they suck. He wonders if people know how hard he works. John says that little children love him so the fans boo him. He says that everyone are a bunch of losers. Son cuts off father and he tells him that he loves him . . . but no super kick. John tells his dad that he will catch up with him later and then hit Kowloon.

John says that he never told anyone how to feel about him. John says what Foley showed him was not his life. Being in the ring is his life. Whether they want to boo him or cheer him, this is all he has. Cena says that is what he is going to show them on Sunday. Cena calls this one of wrestling’s greatest catastrophes along the lines of the Gobbledygooker.

Foley says that he has five people in the back for Cena.

The Rock interrupts the fun and he makes his way to the ring and he gives Foley a Rock Bottom and leaves. Cena checks on Foley to make sure that he is okay and get a good laugh at this.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Sheamus versus Jack Swagger with Vickie Guerrero

They lock up and Sheamus with a side head lock and take down. Sheamus with a shoulder tackle. Swagger with a waist lock take down. Sheamus with a kick and clothesline and then he connects with a series of knees to the ribs right in front of Vickie. Sheamus clotheslines Swagger over the top rope and we go to commercial.

We are back and Sheamus with forearms to the chest while Swagger is in the ropes. Sheamus with a suplex for a near fall. Swagger with a dive into the knee and then Swagger with a running shoulder tackle. Swagger with a double overhook to Sheamus followed by a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Swagger with an arm bar on Sheamus and then Swagger with a forearm to the kidneys.

Swagger with another forearm into the kidneys. Swagger tries for a third one but you never do a move three times and Sheamus with a clothesline. Sheamus with a running double sledge or two. Sheamus with forearms to the back in the corner and then he hits a running clothesline into the corner followed by a knee lift and a power slam for a near fall.

Sheamus sets for the Celtic Cross but Swagger gets to his feet and Swagger with a Northern Lariat and then he hits the Swagger Bomb. Swagger applies the ankle lock but Sheamus rolls through and kicks Swagger to the floor. Sheamus with the uranage back breaker. Sheamus with the Brogue Kick for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

Zack Ryder is with the Bellas again and they are being asked by Zack to sign the online petition. They better deal Ryder for Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. They say that they didn’t believe anything that Punk said last night or last week. The Bellas want to party with Del Rio after Survivor Series but Ryder tells them that they can party in the LI. Ryder invites Ricardo to join the party. Del Rio and Ricardo leave while the Bellas are fed up with Ryder.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a video package of the Kelly Kelly photo shoot.

Match Number Four: Natalya with Beth Phoenix versus Kelly Kelly with a Boston jersey cheap pop, Alicia Fox, and Eve Torres

They lock up and Natalya with a single leg sweep. Natalya runs Kelly into the corner and kicks her. Natalya wants to know if Kelly wants to cry. Natalya misses a charge into the corner and she gives a Stinkface. Natalya tries to get Kelly over for the Sharpshooter after Beth distracts Kelly. Kelly with an inside cradle on the sharpshooter attempt for the three count.

Winner: Kelly Kelly

We go to commercial.

We are back and John Laurinaitis continues to push back the debut of Brodus Clay. It is going to be next week and not when the Rock is on.

Alberto enters the room and he says that he is on the cover of Hombre Magazine. John tells Alberto that CM Punk has made him a laughing stock. One cheap shot does not mean that he is getting the upper hand on CM Punk. John says that he is impartial and then he says that CM Punk can cause more trouble if he is the champion. Alberto says that he does not think that Punk will even make it Survivor Series. Alberto says that he will be WWE Champion longer than John is general manager.

It is time for Michael Cole to make himself the focus of things and he says that he will not be unbiased and he is going to root for Alberto Del Rio.

We run through the card for Survivor Series.

Matt Striker is with Miz and R Truth. Matt asks if they feel overshadowed for their match at Survivor Series. They don’t answer. He asks if they feel disrespected even after winning in the main event last week. They don’t answer. Matt asks them what will they do to get the attention of Rock and John Cena at Survivor Series. They walk away without answering.

CM Punk is walking in the back but Alberto Del Rio attacks him. Del Rio with punches and kicks but referees try to break things up.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry versus CM Punk and Big Show

Show and Del Rio start things off and he chops Del Rio and slams him. Show with a chop in the corner and then he does it in the opposite corner. Show with a slam and Punk is tagged in. Punk with a series of kicks and the referee pulls him out of the corner. Punk with more kicks and the referee warns him. Punk with a suplex for a near fall.

Show tags back in and he punches Del Rio in the ribs. Henry is tagged in and they lock up and Henry pushes Show into the ropes. They lock up again and Henry pushes Show again. They lock up a third time and Show sends him down to the mat. Show with head butts and then he tries to slam Henry but Show falls under Henry’s weight and Henry gets a near fall.

Henry with head butts to Show and Del Rio tags in and he kicks Show. Del Rio gets a near fall but Show with a powerful kick out. Del Rio with a drop kick and then he tags Henry back in. Show with punches from his knees to Henry followed by head butts that stagger Henry. Show with a shoulder tackle and then he signals for the punch but Henry sees it and he tags in Del Rio.

Del Rio wants to know what Henry is doing. Henry tells Del Rio that he tagged him. They continue to argue as we go to commercial.

We are back and Punk and Del Rio are down. Henry tags in and he kicks Punk in the arm before he can make the tag to Big Show. Henry with head butts to Punk followed by punches. Henry stands on Punk’s chest. Del Rio tags in and he kicks Punk and gets a near fall. Del Rio charges into a boot in the corner but Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall.

Henry tags in and Punk with kicks but Henry regains control with a head butt. Del Rio is tagged back in and the problems from before the commercial appear to have disappeared. Del Rio with an arm bar. Punk and Del Rio with kicks and then they exchange punches that lead to boos and yays. Punk with a leg lariat and clothesline followed by a swinging neck breaker and then he kicks Henry in the head and Show with a savate kick to Henry that knocks him down.

Punk goes to the apron and Henry pushes Del Rio out of the way. Henry catches Punk and hits the World’s Strongest Slam. Show with a Pounce to Henry that sends him to the floor. Show runs into the ring post when Henry moves and Del Rio gets the three count.

Winners: Alberto Del Rio and Mark Henry

After the match, Del Rio puts Punk in the cross arm breaker but Punk does not tap. Show comes into the ring and Del Rio and Ricardo run away.

We have an earlier tonight moment of Rock making his in ring return to Rock Bottom Foley.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of the end of the tag match featuring the four men in the two Heavyweight Title Matches on Sunday.

Santino Marella makes his way to the ring. He says that he could not resist coming out. It was this very ring and this very building and very city where he came so close to winning the Royal Rumbles. He says that he would have done it if it wasn’t for that son of a gun Alberto Del Rio. He talks about everything great about Boston and he says that they will be known as the city where Santino Marella turns his career around. He will return to Boston as the World Champion.

Kevin Nash interrupts and he makes his way to the ring.

Santino wants to make sure that Nash isn’t going to beat him to prove a statement.

Nash says that he is one of Santino’s biggest fans. Nash says that Santino talking about the Royal Rumble and it brought back memories. Nash tells Santino to show him how to do the trombone. The band starts playing and Nash with a big boot.

Nash says that he blew the roof off this building at the Royal Rumble. He says that he got the biggest ovation of the night. Did his good buddy Triple H have the business sense to hire him? No. He tells Triple H that he is here and Hunter is not. Nash with a power bomb to Santino.

Randy Orton is doing push ups in the back. The cameraman better watch out or he could get an RKO.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Jonah Hill will be the guest host next week.

We see highlights from last Friday’s match between Barrett and Orton.

Barrrett says that he proved on Smackdown that Randy Orton is the past while he is the present and the future. In consecutive weeks, the Barrett Barrage has defeated Sheamus and Randy Orton. In front of his Survivor Series team, he will lead by example to devenomize the Viper.

Match Number Six: Wade Barrett with Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes, and Hunico versus Randy Orton with Sheamus, Kofi Kingston, Sin Cara, and Mason Ryan

Orton with a punch and European uppercut but Barrett with an Irish whip you never do that to Orton. Orton with a clothesline out of the corner followed by a suplex and a leaping knee drop for a near fall. Orton rakes the bootlaces across the eyes. Barrett with the Blackpool Slam for a near fall.

Barrett with an Irish whip and kicks in the corner. Orton with punches but Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Orton gets back to his feet but Barrett forces Orton back to his knees. Orton back to his feet and he hits a belly-to-back suplex to get out of the hold. Orton with clotheslines followed by a power slam. Orton sends Barrett to the apron for the IEDDT and he hits it. Orton stares at the upper level and then he twists to the mat.

Cody Rhodes attacks Orton from behind and the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Randy Orton by disqualification

We have a brawl and Sheamus with a Brogue kick to Ziggler that sends him off the apron. Orton with an RKO to Hunico and then Ryan press slams Hunico onto his teammates on Sunday.

In case you missed it live or the first recap, we take another look at Rock giving Mick Foley a Rock Bottom. Rock is going to talk when we come back.

We are back and it is time to Smell-la-la-la-la-la-la-la because the Rock is coming to the ring.

Rock soaks in the crowd and takes his time before telling us at 3:15 am he woke up and by 3:30 he was eating breakfast and not a Fruity Pebble. By 3:45 he was tweeting. At 4:00 he was in the gym. At 6:00 he was shooting GI Joe 2, but he could not wait. By 3:00 this afternoon he was on a plane and at 6:45 he was at Logan Airport. At 7:00 he was told that he was a wicked pissah by a security guard. By 7:15 he was in the North End smelling the Italian food. He wanted to stop until this moment to say ‘FINALLY’ the Rock has come back to Boston.

In six days it is Survivor Series. The 25th Anniversary. There is just one problem. That it is in six days and not right now. Right now drives the Rock. He says that he loves Mick Foley but there is no way that he could sit back and watch the garbage that was being fed by him.

It is moments like this that drive the Rock. Right now is why he is the most electrifying man in all of entertainment. That is why he is the most electrifying man in Twittertainment. When he talks on Twitter, it trends worldwide. When Rock says Boots to Asses, that is all that is going to trend.

The people of Boston chant ‘Boots to Asses’ and Rock says that they just made Twitter history in Boston. He came here to make sure that Raw gets Rocked. From the People’s Champ to the People, the Rock ain’t waiting six days. Tonight he is going to deliver an awesome ass whippin’ to Awesome Truth and he wants to do it right now.

Speaking of an Awesome Conspiracy, R Truth and Miz make their way to the ring but they are not dressed to sports entertain.

They enter the ring and Miz throws out a really. Miz asks Rock if that is what he really wants. Truth tells Rock that if he thinks that anything to them, he is the most delusional man in entertainment or Twittertainment. He calls Raw gets Rocked a joke. Truth says that the Truth is that when they are on Raw, this show gets AWESOME.

Miz doesn’t care how Rock spends his day or how he makes things trend. He only cares about leaving Rock a quivering mess. Truth says that they can do it right now. Miz holds Truth back and keeps him from taking off his jacket.

Miz says that is not going to happen right now. Miz says that he doesn’t care what Rock wants. He doesn’t care what the people want. It is about what they want and they want to make history at the biggest Survivor Series of all time. Tonight, Raw gets Rocked, but on Sunday Rock gets best. Truth says that is the Truth.

John Cena’s music plays and he comes out to the ring.

We have a standoff in the ring and John Cena wants to know if Miz is wearing makeup. Cena apologizes for his partner who thinks that he is the captain of Team Bring It but all he has brought in the last seven years is crappy messages via satellite. Rock says that you will have to excuse his partner because he is not used to the support of someone who has reached puberty. Rock’s partner is so concerned about rising above the hate, but he should be worried about Rock’s size 15 rising up and kicking him in his lady parts. Rock says that is trending worldwide.

Cena appreciates the Ladyparts chant but Rock’s obsession with Twitter and his mangina but he has to realize that they need to be a team. If Rock doesn’t work together, I Bitchslapped Rocky will be trending worldwide.

Miz says that he is sick of this and then he throws out a few reallys. Miz says that he is sick of the Rock and Cena show. Miz reminds them that the last time that happened, he won the main event at Wrestlemania. Miz suggests that they should make it a national holiday with the way they are talking about it. Miz says that after they are done with Rock and Cena, it will never be forgotten.

Truth says that Little Johnny and Little Rocky want to go back and forth in front of the Little Jimmys, they can go ahead because they will see them on Sunday.

Rock says that they will see them on Sunday. They are all here right now, boots to asses.

Rock and Cena go after Truth and Miz. Rock punches Truth and then he hits a Rock Bottom on Truth while Cena deals with Miz and gets him up for an Attitude Adjustment and Rock pulls Miz off Cena’s shoulders to give Miz a Rock Bottom.

Rock leaves the ring and he stares at his tag team partner.

We go to credits.

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