Scenic City Invitational - “Jamesen Shook Presents: NIGHT ZER0”
It’s the night before the SCI and all through the house, so much f***ery is stirring. We are kicking the weekend off with a giant deathmatch show. I am breaking my “no lighttubes” policy because I am prepared for the dust. I think. They exploded a cage in this low ceiling’d room last weekend. Jamesen Shook is out here to kick off the carnage. We do have some bad news. We have three people who couldn’t make it tonight: King Lee, Eddie Hendrix & Sean Campbell are out so we’re having FIVE Mystery Entrants to the King of the Mountain ladder match?!? Plus Lil Sicko is also facing a mystery opponent? Let’s go! We start with barbed wire.
Match 1: No Rope Barbed Wire: Saul Wright vs Izzy Byrum
We got barbed wire strung on two sides of the ring. We gave doors and crutches and just random tumbleweeds of wire in the ring. We get the requisite near collisions with the wire before Izzy forces Saul to taste the barbs first. Saul with a toss sends Izzy crashing into the apron and through one of these barbed wire doors. From here is even more bad landings into wire and doors. Izzy gets Saul trapped in the wire and looks to deliver the kill shot to the dome with a crutch. He can’t do it. Saul fearfully begs for his life and promises to quit if Izzy pulls him free. “You better mean it” says Izzy as he frees Wright. Wright goes to holds Izzy’s arm up…and blasts him with an inside out clothesline and gets the three. Kind of a fun little story here.
Match 2: Knockout Or Tapout: Kasey Owens vs Damon Stryker (c) (for the TWE Gig City Championship)
Owens tells the ring crew to not bother putting the ropes up. He already has this match as KO or Tapout. But he wants to send a message to Erron Wade and do this in his style. This is a KUMITE FIGHT. No ropes, no rope breaks, no DQ’s. The crowd wants Owens to take this belt back. Damon goes for an immediate belt shot. No. Kasey grabs the arm and when he’s not twisting it off, he’s tossing Styker around by it. Damon drop kicks Owens into the post. No buckles. All pain. Trading headbutts. Damon with a package slam. He should have hit a piledriver cause Owens is nowhere near out. There’s a small child near me chanting for “CTE”. Jaysus. Kasey looks like he might have a submission on but Erron Wade and his disciple Young Boy Callum come out to break it up. Kasey runs them off but turns right into a title belt shot, Owens collapses and Stryker retains by KO. Booooooooo!
NOW we’re getting the ropes up!
Match 3: Fans Bring The Weapons Match: Tank (w/ The Reverend) vs Dimitri Alexandrov
There’s a lot of plunder here. Lot of stuff covered in barbed wire or thumbtacks. There’s a styro cooler covered in forks. There’s some salt. Oh good, light tubes. I have some breathing protection for tonight. Be prepared, y’all. Dimitri is billed as “Putin’s least favorite wrestle”. Love it. The Reverend is as much of a damn legend as Tank. Crowd loves all these guys so here we go! They start this off as a SICKLE FIGHT. Dimitri disarms Tank quickly but whiffs the follow up. Tank gets the good sickle and gives Dimitri a taste of his own weapon. They fight over a wet floor sign. Tank blows up several light tubes and cuts Dimitri up. Then He covers him in salt. Ow. They work through a whole shopping cart of bs. I bet that piñata is full of thumbtacks. Oh no it’s legooooooo. Dimitri takes the horrible bump before Tank hits the saito through the fork cooler. Dimitri survives, puts Tank through a door, PK’s him with the door and splashes into the door to get the three.
A bloodied Tank grabs the mic. He puts Dimitri over as a legit threat to win the SCI this weekend, especially if he brings this kind of fight tomorrow.
Match 4: King Of The Mountain Ladder Match: Rolando Perez vs Erron Wade vs Shean Christopher vs JT Paradox vs Konnor Martin vs Gwen Neodonna vs The Wall Tyler Stevens vs THE KINGPIN MATT GRIFFIN.
Ok so…it’s a ladder match. But you can only climb if you score a pinfall. And if you get pinned on, you go into a 60-sec penalty box. Also you don’t win by pulling a contract DOWN. You win by putting YOUR contract on the clipboard after you get a pinfall. I’m sure this makes sense. This is gonna be chaos. Also, Action CEO Matt Griffin is in this match coming out to Creed. Jaden Newman is out here to be a special enforcer but Neodonna blasts Matt with a guitar and everyone gangs up on Wall. Konnor and Wall go flying as brawling picks up EVERYWHERE. JT grabs the ladder and makes the climb but it’s not time. He Germans the ladder into a bunch of guys instead. Wade throwing d*** kicks but Neodonna catches him and get the first pin! They are allowed to make the climb…but they dive out of the ring instead….right into the waiting arms of the wall. Rolando tries to ambush Wall. Doesn’t work. Big chokeslam and wall gets the three. Wade cuts off wall with a dropkick as he looks to set up the ladder. Wade hits an air raid crash onto Shean and the ladder for the three. Young Boy Callum tries to get Wade some air by throwing a chair in. Wall says NAH. Chaos everywhere. Matt Griffin rejoins the fight. Somehow we seem to have lost track of the contract? Wall clearing house. Rolando really wants to lay in chops….Wall grants his wish. Ow. Gwen is left alone but there’s no contract. Callum apparently has it? Konnor destroys Gwen with a TKO…kick out! Does Matt have a gusset in his head??? Gwen laid out on a door between chairs. Shean leaps over the ladder with a splash to get the three! There still no contract in sight. Erron Wade gets in Shean’s face but eats a stiff shot from a piece of chair. They managed to break one of TWE’s unforgiving chairs. Dylan Hales storms the ring and blasts Shean with his backpack. Erron Wade has the contract and Hales directs him up the ladder to put it on the clipboard. Dylan Hales strikes again and the TWE arena haaaaaates this.
Erron Wade got him a Money in the Bank style contract. He’s furious that Kasey Owens tried to steal his match type. He challenges him to a Kumite at TWE’s 13-year anniversary show.
Match 5: Chairs, Chairs & More Chairs: Unsigned And Don't Care (Gary Jay & Anakin Murphy) vs Talladega Knights (Hunter Drake and Tyler Franks)
It’s not just a LOT of chairs. It’s a lot of different TYPES of chairs! There’s even a throne! So I don’t see TWE as often as I’d like….but I just found out that HUNTER DRAKE IS THE UNDISPUTED TWE CHAMPION. WTF HAPPENED HERE????
Gary and Anakin clean house quickly. Jay just uploads on Drake and introduces him to several different surfaces around the arena. Franks attacks and powerbombs Jay into a chair tower. Anakin getting used as a crash test dummy while Gary is down. They make him take a seat into a chair covered in forks. Owwwww. Murphy starting to hold their own as Gary returns. They hit a home run pillmanizer to Drake’s neck. Anakin’s back looks GNARLY after going into those forks. Drake isn’t dead and he launches into the ring and helps Franks hit a doomsday bomb! They grab some TWE chairs. Oh no! Gary Jay prevents Murphy’s murder! Anakin puts those chairs back to back. Cradle suplex into the chairs! Drake kicks out! Franks crotches Gary into the post. Huge corkscrew suplex to Anakin for two! Drake sabu’s Gary. He tosses Murphy. He has Gary set up for a final kill shot but instead low blows him and rolls him up for the theee just to p*** off the crowd. Good heel s***.
Match 6: Casket Match: Ravenna Vein vs Davina Thorne
This Ref Shiny Shoes looks different somehow. Vein is the vampire baddie and Thorne wants nothing to do with this spooky s***. Thorne runs in fear every time Vein comes in. She rolls out on top of the casket and that seems to turn the lights on that she needs to fight to SURVIVE. Thorne mocks the crowd as she pummels Vein….which fires them up when Ravenna starts her comeback. This starts to go off the rails a little but Ravenna gets Thorbe in the box. Thorne hits her with some pocket sand from inside the box! It’s not over! She tries to box Ravenna up….not just yet! They fight on top of the box! Vein spears her! Thorne goes in the box, she pulls Vein in there and closes the lid. Shiny shoes says he can’t end the match with them both in there…but he rings the bell when Ravenna Vein pops out and shuts the lid behind her!
Match 7: Carpet Strips Deathmatch: Sicko Da Clown vs JB Anderson
With Sean Campbell out tonight, Sicko gets a heck of a test from unexpected opponent JB Anderson, a deathmatch regular in the Northeast. JB definitely has a size advantage here and he is trying to outwrestle Sicko…but Sicko is biting back. He covers himself in carpet strips and just launches himself to the floor at JB. Big swing and a pile of strips get lodged in JB’s arm. JB tortures arm and hand of sicko in retaliation. He gussets Sicko’s hand?!? He stays in that part and Sicko screams in pain with every hit. JB eats a carpet strips 619. A garbage can lid senton! Anderson keeps kicking out. Sicko punches a gusset into JB’s head but he wrecks his own hand in the metal. Huge suplex from JB. He upends the box of carpet strips. Sicko’s uncle howdy looking cornerman brings out a giant star of light tubes. JB steals it…puts it in the pile and hits a standing Spanish fly that spikes Sicko into the tubes and strips. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu— they both get up somehow. Trading blows. This is a war of attrition. Sicko muscles JB with a gutwrench slam into the carpet strips. He makes the crawl and gets the three. Maybe it was the last minute replacement aspect but this was the first match tonight that felt more violent for the sake of violence than others.
Match 8: Bullrope & Boards of Death match: Big Dave Weaver vs John Wayne Murdoch
They are tying Light tubes to all the corners. Oh no. I see a few knife boards. A weed whacker. But mostly……light tubes. F***. Tomorrow night, JWM takes on Mance Warner for the IWTV title…so this is a heck of a warmup. He also makes sure the crowd knows he doesn’t need them. He promises to FIST Big Dave. Okey dokey. They attach themselves to the rope and Dave sends JWM straight into the tubes. Murdoch detaches himself, sends Dave into tubes and starts choking him out. Well, now we’re breaking a bunch of tubes and it’s getting a little hazy in the ring. Murdoch gussets Big Dave. It’s getting red in that ring FOR SURE. Murdoch sents into the knife board, the razor board, the gusset board. More tubes busted. More glass ground into flesh. JWM grabs the weed whacker and rips up Dave’s back before piledriving him into light tubes for the three.
Murdoch gives massive respect to Big Dave….because this was his FIRST Deathmatch and he brought it to the king. And he calls Big Dave as the likely winner of the whole SCI if he brings THAT level of fight to the tournament. The Duke WANTS this fight again and he’ll be happy to do it as the new IWTV champion fighting the SCI winner. Big Dave says he’s looking to win the tournament…but he wants a piece of Hunter Drake and the TWE championship. Drake storms down and says he’ll put Dave in the dirt. Drake spits in Dave’s face before they start brawling. They get pulled apart…but they are not done with each other. This post match angle was VERY good and would not shock me if it comes back later in the weekend.
Main Event: Hellevation Deathmatch: Nino Extremo vs Jamesen Shook (w/ Dylan Hales)
This is a scaffold deathmatch. Well there is a scaffold present but I dunno how well they can fight on it considering the height of the ceiling. Also there’s more light tubes. Like a LOT more. These last two matches are exercises on how to give me anxiety I guess. lol. Oh we have lanes of glass now. You know? I’m actually fine with those. They set up a line of tubes like wind chimes above the ring. Sure f*** it why not. This is such a gnarly looking setup. Why is Dylan Hales out here and yelling on the mic? He says Nino is the new hot Deathmatch god…but Dylan runs the Southeast and Jamesen is his self appointed Deathmatch god. This is some wild power trip stuff. Nino blasts Shook right throw glass and dives out totally the floor and wipes out Shook and Dylan with tubes. And then. He starts kicking tubes into Shooks head. Nino trips up and Shook takes advantage and just starts busting every tube he can over Nino. Nino fighting back, glass and dust everywhere. The wind chimes are cleaned out. Nino with a light tube scissor kick. This has been less than five minutes and both guys are soaked in blood. Shook with a splash can’t get it done. Shook unhooks the wind home cord and starts choking Extremo. Let’s load the ring with doors. Lets go. Nino recovers while Shook loads the ring…but he’s covered in glass and deeply in pain. Every time it looks like he might get up, Shook smashes another tube into him. We need more doors. This is like a dozen doors. Shook climbs the scaffold but Nino starts throwing light tubes up at him. Shook crashes through doors and chairs. Shook kills Nino’s light tube crocodile. Nino spin kicks a light tube into Shook’s face. Light tube diamond cutter. We got a light tube cabin??? They crash off the scaffold again as this f***ing nightmare comes to ringside. We also have a whole unbroken pane of glass in here. All I’m hearing is the crunch of broken glass underfoot. Now we’re loading chairs in the ring. Pile on some doors and glass. Shook climbs the scaffold and powerbombs Nino through the doors and glass. Shook sets up more chairs and doors. He goes for the light tube cabin…and just smashes it himself. Nino fires up! Dragon suplex into a tube! Nino takes Shook up to the scaffold one more time and…it looks like a razors edge but spikes him into the mat, but missing the door structure entirely. That’s that’s. Shook is VERY down for the three. Nino makes sure to throw himself through the doors so they don’t go to waste. What a spectacle. They must have busted over 100 tubes on this one match alone.
A side note: if you are a person who has only seen a full on light tube spectacle on tv. You might prepare for the spooky dust. You might think you know what this would sound like in a live setting. But you aren’t REALLY prepared for the bass thump of every tube that explodes in a small enclosed environment, like little mini gunshots. You aren’t ready for the moments of quiet when all you hear is the crunch of glass underfoot. TLDR: this probably isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen my fair share of bloodbaths but might need a moment to post-process this cause I definitely feel a bit in auditory shock after all of that.
Nino gives a recovering Shook all the props in the world and thanks him for making this mad war happen. And he welcomes another clash anywhere anytime. Shook says he’s ending the show making an announcement he promised he would. He didn’t grow up a WWE guy. He grew up a CZW guy. And tonight? He’s announcing his entry into the next CZW Tournament of Death. Shook is coming for everyone. Holy hell. The lights come up and all I can see is the sparkle of glass EVERYWHERE.
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