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Writer’s note: Effy’s Big Gay Brunch is one of my favorite independent wrestling events of the year for 2 reasons: First, I’ve attended one and can attest that they are just pure fun. Second, it gives wrestlers who may be marginalized a true chance to shine. I, however, am NOT completely familiar with all the wrestlers. Over the course of this report I may misidentify a competitor by either a pronoun or gender. I profusely apologize in advance if that happens. I WILL endeavor to try and get it all right. Please e-mail the site if you discover an error and it will be immediately fixed. Thank you in advance.
It’s the gayest and funnest day of the year! Even more fun than the Funnest Mailbag! GCW presents Effy’s Big Gay Brunch 10 from the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. VIVA LAS VEGAS and VIVA LAS GAYGAS!!!!
Amy Rose is in the ring and Jay Rose is backing her up as ring announcer. Pollo Del Mar comes out. I KNEW she’d be here.
Veda Scott is on the call and she’ll have a multitude of co hosts tonight. Pollo drinks in the cheers because it’s F***ING LAS VEGAS (her words, not mine). This will be the queerest most fantastical Big Gay Brunch ever, according to Pollo. Val Capone comes out. Val wants to be a Pollo impersonator. It’s action time:
Scramble Match: Jamie Senegal vs. Jai Vidal vs. Vipress vs. Sandra Moone vs. Anton Voorhees vs. Brooke Havok w/ Becca
It’s a Scramble. There is no way my college-educated butt will ever keep up so I’ll just commentate. For the record, Caba Restle in RI needs to be represented next year at this. Lots of jawjacking at the outset. Senegal just got coffee thrown at her face, not sure who threw it. Havok with a neckbreaker, she’s kind of taking over the ring. Senton by Havok and scores a 2. Vipress with a dropkick and a fallaway slam to Havok. Senegal with a kick to someone. Voorhees with a running enziguiri, Voorhees goes corner to corner w/dropkicks.
This is NUTS…sorry for not keeping up so well.
Moone with a lariat to Voorhees. Pollo Del Mar has joined the booth. A hungover Senegal tries a dropkick but misses. Vidal slams Havoc. Vigil with a drop toe hold. We have a human centipede spot, led by Vidal. Vidal sends Voorhees to the floor. Moone with a tope to the floor. Springboard by Voorhees. Vipress gets nailed by Senegal’s boots, which have been removed.
Vidal looks frustrated. Vipress has been dominant. They put their hair up they can square up. Senegal gets stripped to her bra and panties. Voorhees with an F5, he eats a top rope rana from Havok. Moone with a kick to Havok. This is just chaos. Hats off to these 6. Vipres with a destroyer off the top to Vidal. Senegal retreats. Moone with a Moon Landing for the pin.
WINNER SANDRA MOONE
Evil Gay Aaron Roarke vs Rico Gonzalez
Can I just say this: God I love Amy Rose! Quick rollups and backslides. Rico ALMOST scores a pinfall. Shotgun dropkick by Aaron. Running kick by Aaron for 2. Palm strikes by Rico. Rico with a backdrop and a baseball slide dropkick. Spinebuster by Rico. Rico with stomps, Rico has been really dominant thus far. Big lariat and 2 count by Rico. Aaron is holding his head. I hope he’s ok. Rico with 2 neckbreakers. Hangman neckbreaker off the top by Rico for 2. Rico blocks a powerbomb. Aaron pulls the ref in front of him, Rico stops short. Hip attack by Aaron. Neck breaker for 2 by Aaron. Rico with a rollup broken up. Aaron with a leg sweep, he puts his feet on the rope for the pin.
WINNER AARON ROARKE
BEEF DIP 4 Way Match: Brick Savage vs Parrow vs. Max The Impaler vs. Richard Holliday
Holliday paid his way into the match. Holliday trips into the ring. He’s gonna get killed amongst all this beef. Max with a lariat and a senton to Savage. Parrow tosses Brick across the ring and squares off with Max. Forearm exchange. Holliday tries to get involved but obviously gets killed. MAx with a gore. Savage and Parrow exchange forearms on the floor. Chairs are now involved. Savage gets suplexed by Parrow into them. GODDAM that had to hurt. In the ring , Holliday puts the boots to Max. All 4 are now back and Holliday is the target. Holliday gets sandwiched by all 3.Sit out powerbomb to Max by Parrow. A door gets introduced. Holliday rolls up Parrow but Parrow reverses the rollup into one of hois own for the pin.
WINNER PARROW
Kidd Bandit vs. Zack Sabre Jr
Sabre has been a busy boy this weekend. You know this will be the technical match of the night.
The announcers are really putting over how great it is to have ZSJ on the show, without getting into any orientation. ZSJ felt honored to just be here tonight/this afternoon. Kidd REVERSES an indian death lock. She’s a technichal wizard, apparently. Sabre with an ankle lock, Kidd makes the ropes. Bandit with a BIG armbar. ZSJ reverses it. Round kick by Bandit. 10 punches in the corner by Bandit. Forearms by Bandit. 2 count by Bandit. Sabre blocks a 619 into an ankle lock. Sabre transitions into a different leglock. Upkick by ZSJ. Finger snap by ZSJ. Uppercut by ZSJ. Dropkick by Bandit. Forearms and chops by Bandit. Kicks by ZSJ. Bandit kicks back and scores a 2. Bandit tries a choke. SHE’S GOT IT CINCHED IN. These 2 are having a great match! Forearm exchange. Ankle lock by Sabre, Bandit makes the rope. Choke by ZSJ, Bandit with a block. Bandit makes the rope. THEY HAVE CROWD. Kick by ZSJ. Kick by Bandit. Choke by Bandit. 2 kicks by Bandit, she misses a corkscrew. Rollup by ZSJ and he scores the pin.
WINNER ZACK SABRE JR
Code of Honor adhered to.
WE see the “retirement” of Fuego Del Sol
10 Person tag team match: The Rookies vs. The Vets
With respect, I could not hear the ring announcer (crowd is LOUD) so I couldn’t say who the Rookies or who the Vets are. I’ll try and keep up as best I can. The Rookies seem to not be getting along. The guy on the Rookies I think is Hunter Aeriana, this person looks good. They eat a nice spear. On the rookies, Carter tags in. The big Vet is Marco MAyore, I think. CP Gay just tagged in for the vets (that;s what they called him). From the Rookies, Papa Yasae (?) tags in . Ravenous Randy Myers tags in. Randy with a tope suicida. Marco misses a a dive. Double moonsault by the Rookies. All 10 slug it out. Steven Crowe slugs it out with Kedo (?). Crowe gets piledriven. Angelo Carter with 2 running knees but Randy with a kiss and a neckbreaker. IT’s getting sloppy. CP Gay with a dropkick. He eats one as well. Papa with a moonsault headbutt. Low blow by Keta into a piledriver for the pin.
WINNERS THE VETS
Sonny Kiss vs. Abadon
An AEW alumni match, if you will. Kiss starts by trying t scare Abadon. Shoulder tackle, both stay on their feet. Kiss mocks Abadon. Abadon bites Kiss’ posterior. Double knees by Abadon. One foot dropkick by Kiss. Big Swing by Kiss. Kiss scores a 2. Greco Roman b!tch slap by Kiss. Kick by Abadon. Pump handle slam by Kiss, she poses to the crowd. Kiss with a double knee stomp for 2. German by Abadon into the buckles. Kiss falls off the top rope. Abadon with a Sister Abigal for the pin.
WINNER ABADON
Vipress comes out. She stares down Abadon. They kiss….passionately.
GCW World Title: Effy vs Dark Sheik
Code of Honor adhered to. Leg kicks by Sheik. Sheik squeals out of a hammerlock. Effy with a side headlock. Shoulder tackle by Effy. Kicks by Sheik. Tackle by Sheik. Dropkick by Sheik. Takedown by Sheik. Rana by Sheik for 2. They bring a chair into the ring and Dark Sheik nails the champion with it. DDT on the chair by Sheik for 2. Effy blocks a low blow into a kick for 2. Curb stomp by Effy for 2. Sit down splash by Effy, followed by another. Sheik gets Sheik’s knees up for a kick to the testicles. Effy with a slam on the chair for 2. Effy throws in chairs. Effy makes a door bridge on the chairs. Sheik with a kick and Sheil with a stunner through the table. Sheik with a kick. Buckle Bomb by Effy. Running boot by Efffy into a DDT. Sprear and Effy scores a 2. Dropkick into a chair by Sheik. Chair shots by Sheik. Effy is bleeding. Arabian Face Buster by Sheik for 2. Palm strike exchange. Low blow by Sheik. Chair shot by Sheik, followed by 2 more. Effy rolls up Sheik for the pin.
WINNER AND STILL GCW WORLD CHAMPION EFFY
Effy takes the mic and praises Sheik and makes a strong statement about our country.
Sheik takes the mic and puts over Effy and the Big Gay Brunch
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