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AEW DARK REPORT

By Joshua Higham on 2021-01-13 10:05:00

Anthony Agogo is back in the commentary as Taz and Excalibur welcome us to a moderately large episode of Dark. The timeline says it’s an hour shorter than last week’s episode.  

And Agogo has already disapeared. Mike Verna is back to take on Ricky Starks, who is accompanied by Hook. But Hook returns to the back. That’s another AEW move I don’t understand: a person accompanying the wrestler to the stage and then leaving. It almost telegraphs that if a teammate’s ringside, they will get involved. Starks with the spear to get the win.  

Oh, Jake the Snake is hanging out in the crowd.

Ryzin and Fuego Del Sol are the next makeshift tag team to take on Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus. Fuego and Ryzin are not on the same page. Ryzin tags himself in, and later refuses to tag Fuego in. Jurassic Express take control, until Fuego gets a reverse rana on Jungle Boy. As Fuego goes for a tope to the floor, Luchasaurus catches him and chokeslams him onto Ryzin. Jungle Boy locks on the Snare Trap on Fuego for the win. 

Marti Daniels is making her AEW debut to take on Tay Conti. Anna Jay joins her on stage, but retreats to the back. Agogo’s back. Tay has wrist control and connects with a number of judo throws. A little hesitation allows Daniels to get some offense in, but Tay sidesteps a kick and locks a kneebar in the ropes. Tay-KO, a Gory special into a knee strike, gives Tay the win. 

Tay Conti will challenge Serena Deeb for the NWA Women’s Championship on this week’s Dynamite. 

Shawn Dean, Zack Clayton, Adam Priest, Danny Limelight, and Vary Morales are our next makeshift tag team. Almost as if names were pulled from the punch bowl. They’re facing Evil Dos, Stu Grayson, Alan “V” Angels, 10, and Colt Cabana. Taz wonders what Colt’s number is. Dark Order does well to isolate their opponents and make quick tags. Danny Limelight gets the most offense for the makeshift team and tags in Shawn Dean who gets his own flurry of offense to every one of the Dark Order. It all breaks down as the Dark Order hits stereo big boots on all their opponents. Ripcord clothesline sandwich from V and 10, bionic elbow from Colt, and Fatality from Uno and Stu gives Uno the pinfall on Adam Priest. 

Louie Valle’s tron video has been corrected, but he’s up to face Powerhouse Hobbs. Hook actually stays ringside. Hobbs starts hot. Taz apparently is punishing Valle for wearing orange and black gear before. Valle is bleeding above the eye after a suplex. Valle gets thrown to the floor where Hook hits a judo throw. A kind of World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin for Hobbs. After the match, Hobbs taunts Valle and hits another Slam. 

Leva Bates is out first, promoting Justin Roberts’ book. Red Velvet is out next, showing off what looks like her engagement ring. Don’t understand wearing rings during wrestling matches at all. Handshake to start the match. They trade mat wrestling and holds, but neither gets the advantage for an extended amount of time. Red Velvet fights out of a fireman’s carry, hits a standup version of the Stroke, and a running boot to get the win over Leva Bates. 

KC Navarro, fresh out of his appearance during Impact Wrestling’s X Cup, and El Australiano head to the ring to take on John Silver and Alex Reynolds. Scorpio Sky replaces Anthony Agogo on commentary. Silver and Reynolds’ teamwork are no match for Navarro and El Australiano. A fisherman buster from Reynolds gets the pin. Excalibur plugs Wrestling with the Week, a new podcast debuting next week. 

Pretty Peter Avalon arrives to go to commentary with martini in hand and a reminder that olives are repulsive. Lee Johnson and Aaron Solow head to the ring, and Avalon is immediately enamored of Lee Johnson for Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation. The Varsity Blondes enter, and Avalon says “Griff who?” Stalemate as both teams are able to counter holds and duck strikes. A Solow kick gets things going. Neither team can keep an advantage for long, but a powerbomb/dropkick combo on Solow gets the win for the Varsity Blondes. Peter Avalon approaches Lee Johnson after the match and hands him the 8x10, and Big Shotty Lee Johnson doesn’t rip it up like everyone else before him. 

I don’t know the endgame of Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation, but Peter Avalon is pretty funny on commentary here. 

Alex Gracia takes on Anna Jay. Gracia gets the upper hand to start, but Anna Jay locks on the Queenslayer out of nowhere to get the quick win. 

Serena Deeb warms up for her title defense against Tay Conti by taking on Tesha Price. No entrance for Tesha Price, but she is joined by a bro dude who is not identified and I don’t recognize. Tesha seems to have an issue with this dude yelling instructions to her during the match. Deeb connects with Deeb-Tox to get the win. Taz calls the dude Bro Jones, but that can’t be right. 

Nick Comoroto and Baron Black team for the first time to take on Bear Country. Black tries to match speed as Comoroto tries to match power with Bear Country’s power and strength game.  Bear Country’s teamwork and cohesion is no match for Black and Comoroto’s individual skills, as Bear Country hits the elevated splash on Black to get their first AEW win. 

Anthony Agogo is back again as we are reminded that Serpentico got splashed by Snoop Dogg last week on Dynamite. Serpentico and Luther attack Top Flight while they’re doing their signature poses. The idea of Luther constantly using the reluctant Serpentico as the weapon in their double team maneuvers is so fun. Luther shoots Serpentico into a spear, which leads to the weakest possible pin attempt I’ve seen in a while. Darius stacks Serpentico into the corner, and Dante gets Irish-whipped into a dropkick. That’s enough for the win for Top Flight. 

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