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Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!
We start off with the usual video looking back at last week's show, then we head right to the ring for our opening match...
Eddie Edwards vs Ace Austin
Austin is wearing an "Ace Austin 3:16/I just banged your wife" shirt, and has a couple planted rats in the front row grab him and make out with him during his entrance. They start brawling right off the bell, and Edwards quickly gets the advantage, dumps Ace to the floor, and takes him out with a dive. Eddie picks Austin up atomic drop style and crotches him on the post, takes him into the ring to dish out more punishment, then we go right back out to the floor. Austin grabs a drink from a fan and hits Eddie with it, then we go back into the ring where Austin, now in control, unloads on Eddie with a bunch of stomps in the corner. Eddie rips his head off with a hard clothesline, then opens up with the Kobashi chops in the corner. Eddie with a top rope back suplex, and Reno Scum comes out to ringside to observe and maybe distract Eddie while they're at it. Austin with an enziguiri and covers for 2, but Eddie returns it with a blue thunder bomb for 2, he goes for the Boston Knee Party, but Ace catches him coming in with a superkick for 2. Austin hits the Boston Knee Party on the second attempt, but Reno Scum pulls the referee out to the floor before he can count 3. You know, that should really be a DQ. Eddie takes Reno Scum out and grabs Kenny II from under the broadcast table, gives Luster the Legend and Adam Thornstowe massages with him, but Austin hits the Fold out of nowhere and very nearly gets 3, but Eddie is out at 2. Austin puts a piece of metal in his wrist brace and hits Eddie with it, then covers for 3.
Winner: Ace Austin
Pretty good match, probably Austin's best since coming to Impact. Reno Scum beats Eddie up some more after the match, and now Austin goes to the X Division match at Bound For Glory.
Taya Valkyrie is in the dungeon and tells Rosemary that they have a problem because she has to face Havok again, but Rosemary says that Taya has the problem, and she'll watch her get ripped apart.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we go back to the ring...
Mahabali Shera & Desi Hit Squad vs Rascalz
The Desis jump the Rascalz before the bell and get Trey in their half of the ring, but Trey uses his speed to outmaneuver them and has a short flurry of offense before Raju sweeps his leg and covers for 2. Trey breaks away on his second attempt and tags Des in...but the referee didn't see it, and the Desis drag Trey back to their corner yet again and triple team him in the corner. Trey breaks free yet a third time, and this time the tag is successful and official, and Wentz comes in to clean house. All heck breaks loose as we cram the multi-man spotfest match into a six man tag form, at least until Shera comes in and shows his usual level of versatility by not selling, roaring, and then hitting a front powerslam for the win.
Winners: Mahabali Shera & Desi Hit Squad
It was there.
Someone new whose name I don't recall but is facing Jordynne Grace tonight comes into the back, gives Jordynne (who happens to be standing there) her keys, and says to park her car. Jordynne says she's going to kick her ass, so her new friend turns around, sticks her ass out, and goes "this ass?" as a disturbed Jordynne walks off.
Knockouts Title Match: Taya Valkyrie vs Jessicka Javok
Tenille Dashwood joins Josh and Don at ringside, and they ask her which of the two she'd rather face at Bound For Glory as Havok crushes the champion. Taya gets some brief offense until Havok recovers herself and connects with a high kick to Taya's face that I didn't think she could get her foot up that high for. She follows that up with a pair of side backbreakers, but then Taya trips Havbok and ties her up in the ropes for a top rope double stomp for 2. Havok chokeslams Taya and makes a cover, but John E. Bravo drags the ref out before he can count 3. Second time we've seen that spot tonight and it doesn't cause a DQ, but Bravo shoving the ref after that does. Okay.
Winner by DQ: Jessicka Havok
Havok gets ahold of Bravo after the match and chokeslams him, but Taya knocks Havok out with the belt, prompting Tenille to rush the ring and big boot Taya in the face with her giant 28 inch heels, followed by a baseball slide with the same footwear.
oVe is backstage on the oVe Cam where Sami says that fans don't deserve to get attacked by wrestlers, and when you mess with oVe, you mess with all of them and they're taking over everything.
The new interview lady is backstage with the North, who are laughing about Konnan falling without his Life Alert. Rich Swann and Willie Mack come in and say that they're going to do to them what they did to Page at last year's Bound For Glory, but this time it'll be for the title. Page says this year they're facing the North, not him and another partner. Rhino and Rob Van Dam come in and say they've been in line for this title shot since before Swann and Mack were born. The North appear to have walked off as Rhino says he'll see Swann and Mack at Bound For Glory.
Moose vs Stephan Bonner
Moose has Frank Trigg in his corner as Josh reminds me of how Bonner teamed with Moose last year. Moose powers Bonner to the mat and toys with him a bit, but Bonner fires back with some strikes of his own, then hiptosses Moose across the ring. Moose takes a long time on the floor and appears to be hurt, Bonner goes out after him, but Moose was just drawing him in and fires a few shots into Bonner's ribs before ramming Bonner into the post. Moose continues the offense inside the ring as Trigg talks about Ken Shamrock not being especially smart, and Bonner connects with a leg lariat and then a belly to belly suplex. Bonner appears to have a bit of blood over the eye as Moose dishes out some chops. Bonner's got a good amount of blood now as he catches Moose charging in and plants him with a spinebuster. Bonner goes to the top, Moose shoves the ref into the ropes and knocks Bonner off the top, and finally someone gets disqualified for putting their hands on the ref.
Winner by DQ: Stephan Bonner
Moose puts the boots to Bonner after the match, but when he brings a chair into the ring, Shamrock runs out looking ripped as ever and unloads on Moose with punches, a dropkick, and the belly to belly suplex. Shamrock gets the anklelock and Frank Trigg goes to get in the ring but is stopped by Bonner as Moose taps out. Shamrock points the finger of warning at Moose as he rolls to the floor where Trigg checks on him.
Katie Forbes vs Jordynne Grace
Jordynne doesn't appear any more amused with Forbes now than she did earlier, quickly taking her to the mat and doing pushups headscissors, but Katie headstands out of it Austin Aries style, but with booty shaking thrown in. Jordynne continues to control the match with a combination of power moves and speed, and Forbes rolls to the floor to complain about being abused by Grace. She suckerpunches Grace when she grabs for her, and hits a handspring elbow in the corner before twerking for the fans. She goes for a stinkface, but Grace catches her, gives her a sick wedgie, and rams Forbes shoulder first into the post. Grace becomes the first wrestler tonight to tell the ref to get out of the way, then connects with a series of corner charges and then a Vader bomb for 2. Forbes hits a tornado DDT for 2, but Grace recovers and hits a Here It Is Driver for the win.
Winner: Jordynne Grace
Forbes is a VERY entertaining character and had a good first showing. Grace looked awesome as usual.
Johnny Swinger is backstage hitting on Katie Forbes, who says she's dating Rob Van Dam, and Swinger says he goes back to ECW with Van Dam, and asks if they swing. Katie walks off, and Jordynne just shoves Swinger when she comes through, and Swinger says he loves the rough stuff.
The Impact+ moment of the week is an Ultimate X match from 3000 years ago.
Tessa Blanchard is backstage when Daga comes in and thanks Tessa for helping out but he can fight his own battles. Tessa says he can fight his own battle at Bound For Glory, but tonight they have a common enemy.
TJ Perkins finds Fallah Bahh backstage and sits on his back eating donuts while he makes him to pushups. Next week, Bahh has Elgin, and he wants to know if he's ready for it. Bahh yells BAHH and TJ says that's what he wanted.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, and then...IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!
Tessa Blanchard & Daga vs oVe
oVe is represented here by Jake Crist and Madman Fulton, with Dave Crist on the floor seconding them. Or would that be thirding them? Jake and Daga have a feeling out process, then Jake demands Tessa tag in. She does, so he goes and tags in Fulton, who easily overpowers Tessa and goes for a chokeslam that Tessa escapes, then she goes after Jake, knocking him to the floor and taking him out with a dive. She snaps Fulton's neck down on the top rope, but Fulton gets her in a bearhug. She bites to escape (yep, she's Tully's kid.) and then she and Daga double clothesline Fulton to the floor. Daga tries a dive, but Fulton catches him and rams him into the post, then dumps him on the apron, then gives him a modified catapult into the bottom rope. Now Daga is in trouble, taking a chokeslam from Fulton before drilling him with an enziguiri and an Ace crusher. Daga tags in Tessa, who cleans house on Jake and also Dave when he tries to get on the apron. Tessa with a tornado DDT for 2, Fulton goes after her, Daga makes the save, and the two of them repeatedly superkick Fulton before Tessa takes him out with a flying headscissors. Fulton rolls to the floor and Tessa takes him out with a dive, then she comes off the top rope with a Codebreaker for the win.
Winners: Daga & Tessa Blanchard
Good match, and man does Fulton look like a monster. Speaking of Fulton, he comes in after the match and lays both Tessa and Daga out by hinmself. Fulton hits End of Days on Tessa, and she and Daga are out on the floor. We don't have time to dwell on this, because Brian Cage arrives at the arena, bullies his way through everyone back there, and comes out to fight oVe. He takes out Jake in the aisle, gives Fulton an F5, and goes after Dave, choking him out until Sami Callihan comes in and nails Cage over the back with a chair. Sami can't believe it, and Cage picks him up in a choke until the rest of oVe makes the save. Sami kicks Cage in the ding ding, then does it again. oVe handcuffs Cage to the ropes, Sami gets the bat, Cage says to bring it, and out comes Melissa Santos to beg for her husband's safety. Sami tells oVe to clear out, then grabs Melissa and piledrives her as Fulton holds Cage and makes him watch. Cage is losing it, begging Melissa to talk to him as we call it a night.
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I'll be back tomorrow to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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