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Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I apologize for the delay getting this up, a confluence of real life stuff kind of railroaded me this week, but here we are!
We start off with our usual video looking back at last week's episode, then we head to the arena for our opening match...
But before we get to that, if you think you can beat the pros in daily fantasty sports challenges you need to put it to the test when you get Monkey Knife Fight Promo Code Explained.
Moose vs Fallah Bahh
This is a rematch from a recent match where Bahh upset Moose in record time. They start brawling right from the bell, Moose calls him fat boy, and Bahh hammers him with chops. Moose goes to the eyes and dumps Bahh to the floor, then rams him into the post. Bahh suddenly comes out of nowhere with a crossbody, crushing Moose on the floor. Moose bites the forehead of Bahh and then charges him, but Bahh backdrops Moose onto the entry ramp, landing with an audible thump. Bahh rolls Moose back inside, but Moose clips his knee ass he comes back in as well. Moose gouges Bahh's face, and yells at him that he's a five star athlete while Bahh is just a fat piece of garbage. That just fires up Bahh, who no-sells Moose's offense and dares Moose to give him more. He catches a chop from Moose, Moose goes to the eyes, and Bahh flattens him with a Samoan drop. Now Bahh is on the offensive, dishing out a series of heavy chops, then plants him with a BIG belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Bahh with an avalanche in the corner, but Moose comes right back with a corner dropkick, then puts Bahh on the top rope and hits a HUGE top rope superplex. DAAAAAMN! Moose goes for the spear, Bahh sidesteps and sends Moose crashing into the corner, then hits him with an avalanche and goes up for the Banzai Drop. Moose is up, kicks the rope out from under Bahh, and hits the spear for the win.
Winner: Moose
Excellent opener! Both these guys are SO good and I really wish they'd get the recognition for it.
Tommy Dreamer wants to talk to Tessa Blanchard, who says she didn't need Dreamer's help out there. Dreamer says Tessa is a third generation wrestler, and he was the first promoter to have national TV, and he did it because he was stubborn. Her father got blackballed from the business, and he got rid of the stubbornness to realize it took others to help him become a Hall of Famer. The man who raised her, Magnum TA, was on a quest and had it all taken away from him in an instant, and he had others help him take another breath and walk another step. Dreamer has had naysayers for 30 years, and he gets where Tessa is coming from, but Tully and Magnum reached out to him asking for his help, not because he's a father, but because Tessa changed things and is creating hope and inspiration. This isn't intergender wrestling, it's wrestling, and he wants to know if she's with him. She says she's with him, and NOW she looks super determined.
We go to a creepy forest with Su Yung and her undead bridesmaids, who carry a casket out so Su can throw flowers on it. The casket has Havok's name on it.
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring for our next match...
Jordynne Grace & Alexia Nicole vs Kiera Hogan & Madison Rayne
Kiera cheapshots Alexia to start, and she and Madison take control early. Alexia gets some armdrags to try and start the comeback, but that gets hut down real quick. Heels are in control as we go to commercial.
We're back and Alexia is still in trouble, and after more of a beating, she finally hits a stunner and makes the tag to Jordynne, who DESTROYS Madison with a tiger driver, then a big belly to belly suplex on Kiera. Alexia tags in and hits a top rope splash, but Madison comes in and hits Nicole with a CrossRhodes for the win.
Winners: Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan.
Madison and Kiera attack Jordynne after the match and put the boots to her in the corner. The lights go out, and Rosermary is in the ring when they come back up. Rosemary spears Kiera, then skeeballs her into Madison before giving Kiera a butterfly suplex. Madison and Kiera head for the hills as Rosemary contorts in the ring.
We go to the Impact Plus moment of the week, and we see Gail Kim vs Awesome Kong from years ago.
We go backstage as Alisha asks Ace Austin if he's okay. He says he feels in danger, but doesn't want to bother her with it. Alisha asks danger from what, and Austin says her husband. Alisha says they're just friends, and Ace says that's right but Eddie doesn't know it. Ace says he's worried about her safety, and she says she's not in danger and she's not worried about Eddie. She leaves, and Ace smirks as she goes.
We come back after commercial as Ace Austin lays down in a hallway and waits for Alisha to come check on him. Eddie comes in and finds her crouching over him, and Eddie proceeds to start punching the crap out of a seemingly unconscious Ace. Alisha and a bunch of officials pull Eddie off, and Ace sits up, smiles at Eddie, and holds up his ace card before going back to pretending to be dead as Eddie loses his mind.
We see Taya Valkyrie hanging out on Venice Beach and bossing John E Bravo around, making him help her dog pee, hold her umbrella to keep her in the shade, yells at him for short-shaming her dog, then throws a ball into the water for the dog, then Taya makes him go get it. This is ridiculous.
We cut to outside the building as Rhino and Michael Elgin are brawling outside. A bunch of officials come out to try and break them up, and Elgin uses the opening to cheapshot Rhino and ram him into a truck.
The Rascalz vs Rob Van Dam, Rich Swann & Willie Mack
Both these teams seem like they'd be a HELL of a lot of fun to be around after the show. Trey and Wentz try RVD and get boots to the face for their trouble, so Dez bends over and tells RVD to give it to him too, but RVD tags out and Willie runs over him instead. Swann tags in to do a fast paced back and forth with Dez, then Wentz tags in and they double team Swann before Wentz covers for 2. Swann is in trouble in the Rascalz corner, and he almost catches Trey on a back and forth, but Trey drills him with a dropkick to shut that down. Swann finally gets away from all three Rascalz and tags in RVD, who cleans house on the Rascalz with the usual. Mr Friday Night hits Wentz with the split-legged moonsault for 2, then tosses Wentz to Willie, who hits the Samoan drop into a moonsault, then RVD hits Rolling Thunder and tags Swann in to hits the cartwheel moonsault. He covers, but Dez breaks it up at 2, Swann ditches him as Trey shoves RVD off the top rope to the floor, Mack gets knocked to the floor, then Trey and Dez hit a double team Meteora on Swann. The push moonsault is disrupted, people dive until Swann and Wentz are the only ones left in the ring. They trade chops and then start stifffing the heck out of each other with slaps, chops, and kicks, before Swann finally floors Wentz. RVD hits the five star notebook splash, Swann hits a second rope Phonenix splash, and that's all she wrote.
Winners: Rob Van Dam, Rich Swann & Willie Mack
There was a LOT going on in that match.
Melissa is backstage with the North, and she wants to know what's next for them. Alexander says they've been the best team in Canada for a long time, and now they're taking over the world. They're taking the title to California, and they'll keep making the company line them up so they can knock them down.
The participants of the six man (minus RVD) are backstage chilling after the match when Jake Crist comes in and starts stirring things up. They chase him off and he says he doesn't want any trouble.
The Desi Arnaz Hit Squad vs The Deaners
Both teams start brawling before the bell, and the fight spils out to the floor pretty much right away. The Deaners get the advantage and isolate Raj in the ring. Raju comes in and he gets tuned up too. The Desis try to double suplex Jake, but Jake reverses and suplexes them. The Deaners are in control as we go to commercial.
We're back, and the Desis seem to have turned the tide and trapped Cody in their half of the ring. Cody fights his way free and tries to mount a comeback, but Gama trips Cody up and the Desis swarm him. Raj pulls Jake off the apron on another breakaway attempt, and again stomp Cody out in their corner. Cody breaks away a third time and finally tags in Jake, who unloads on both Desis. Jake clotheslines both Desis to the floor, then picks Cody up for a dive to wipe out both Desis in the floor. Jake follows with a dive of his own, Gama tries to distract Jake and Raju rolls Jake up for 2, then Jake floors him with a right and tags Cody in. Raj disrupts their finisher and the Desis hit their own for 2. Raju hits a series of corner charges on Jake, but Jake catches him on the last attempt and goes for a powerbomb. Raju kicks free, dropkicks Jake into the corner, and comes off the top with a Codebreaker attempt, but Jake catches him and he and Cody hit their finish again for the win.
Winners: The Deaners
This match was EXCELLENT, easily the best either team has ever looked in Impact. Now the Desis have to work on the Deaner farm, and hilarity will ensue!
We go to the oVe Cam, and Sami is yelling at Dave for watching Impact Plus, then says that tonight, they're going to end Tessa Blanchard and Tommy Dreamer once and for all. They're going to take Dreamer out back like Old Yeller and put him out of his misery, and Tessa will finally learn that she will never beat him.
The Deaners and the Desi Hit Squad are backstage, and the Deaners are already handing them all the stuff they'll need to do some goold, old fashioned work down on the farm.
And with that...IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!
Tommy Dreamer & Tessa Blanchard vs Sami Callihan & Dave Crist
A brawl breaks out right from the start, and Dreamer and Tessa drive oVe to the floor. Tommy teases a dive, stops short, and comes off the apron with a double clothesline instead. Tessa has no problem going for it, and takes out Crist and Callihan with a dive off the top to the floor as we go to commercial.
We're back, and Dreamer and Blanchard are still in control on the floor. Dreamer hands her a Red Bull from a fan and tells her to drink it and spit it in his face, and she seems reluctant at first, but decides to go for it anyway. Sami gets cornered in the ring with Tessa, starts to beg off, then goes for a handshake. Tessa isn't going for it, and hammers Sami with a forearm. Tessa drop toeholds Dave into Sami's ding ding (because every man vs woman interaction needs a symbolic destruction of the guy's junk), and they continue the offense. Dave finally knocks Tessa to the floor as Sami slams Dreamer on the concrete, and now Dreamer is caught in the wrong part of town. Tommy finally manages to fight his way free and...Sami pulls Tessa off the apron just before Dreamer gets there to make the tag. He breaks away a second time and finally makes the tag, and Tessa comes in and cleans house. Tessa charges Dave in the corner, Dave gets a boot up and goes to the second rope, but she kicks his legs out and hits Magnum out of the corner. She makes a cover, and Sami elbowdrops the referee at 2. The fight continues, Tessa and Dreamer hit stereo DDTs, and they both make covers with no referee. A second ref finally runs out, but both Crist and Callihan kick out at 2. Now we go for stereo piledrivers, oVe tries low blows, and of course only Dreamer goes down, so Sami gets a kendo stick and tattoos Tessa's back with it. Tommy dodges a second kendo stick shot that ends up nailing Sami, then Tessa unloads with the stick on Dave and comes off the top rope with a kendo stick-assisted Magnum, and that's enough to put this one away.
Winners: Tessa Blanchard & Tommy Dreamer
Great main event to close a show that was loaded with great wrestling!
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com, I'll be back tomorrow to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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