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Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!
We start off with a video looking back at last week's show, then we head to the ring for our opening match...
Ace Austin vs Jake Deaner
Jake powers Austin into the corner as easily as could be, and Austin's attempts to outmaneuver Jake take a bit of time, but finally he pops him over with a twisting Frankensteiner. A second attempt results in Jake easily popping Austin over with a back suplex. Austin again usaes his speed, ditching Jake to the floor and hitting a running punt that...well, it kind of registers with Jake, but a space flying tiger drop by Austin is caught by Jake, who slams Austin onto the apron. Austin tries a springboard move out of the corner, but his face seems to meet Jake's arm, sending him down in a heap. Austin finally paper cuts Jake with the Ace of Spades, then comes off the top rope with a Fameasser for 2. Jake catches Austin again and goes for a spinebuster, but Austin hits a Codebreaker. Austin charges and Jake rips his head off with a hard clothesline, then takes his face off with a hard forearm. Jake hits a Michinoku driver for 2, but suddenly the Desi Hit Squad attacks Cody at ringside, distracting Jake long enough for Austin to hit the running blockbuster for the win.
Winner: Ace Austin
Terrific opener!
Rosemary is backstage, and she's...DRAGGING SU YUNG BY A CHAIN!
Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we head back to the ring for our next match...
Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie vs Rosemary
Taya straight up TACKLES Rosemary to start the match, taking her down and hammering her with big right hands, then does the same in the corner with some boots to the chest thrown in for good measure. Rosemary turns it around with the hanging leg choke over the ropes, then comes off the top rope and...Taya moves out of the way, and Rosemary hits hard. Taya follows that up with a release German suplex, then asks Rosemary where the hive is now. Rosemary hits a slinmgblade on Taya, then follows up with a Deathdrop for 2. Rosemary with a Koji clutch, but suddenly Jessica Havok comes out of the back with Jim Mitchell in tow. Been a while since we've see her around here! She and Rosemary have a staredown, Havok blocks two punches with her hands, and knocks Rosemary silly with a headbutt.
Winner by DQ: Rosemary
Havok hoists Rosemary up and hits a Tombstone, then looks at Taya, who goes "Oh HELL no!" and tries to run, but Havok gets ahold of her and chokeslams her. Meanwhile, Mitchell releases Su from her chain, and the three of them celebrate.
We go backstage to the Rascalz, who are getting high and, since he's not wrestling tonight, Trey has a shot of LAX's joy juice. Wentz says to focus on the Tag Team Title, and Trey focuses on more of the booze.
The Impact Plus flashback takes us back to Raven vs Shane Douglas from one of the early NWA TNA shows.
Eddie Edwards finds the Sandman backstage and thanks him for helping out last week, but he doesn't want the Singapore cane because it wouldn't be fair to Kenny. Sandman hands the stick back to Eddie and says it's Kenny 2.0, and Eddie decides it is Kenny, and gratefully accepts the gift.
We see a video package of the history between Brian Cage and Michael Elgin, and plenty of footage of Cage training for his comeback after the injury. Then we go to a backstage interview with Elgin, who says Cage can train all he wants, because he's ready to take the Impact World Title, and he wants Cage to pay attention to what he does to Willie Mack next week.
Madman Fulton vs Jay & Broni
I didn't catch the opponents' names, but I don't think it matters much given what kind of match this is going to be. Sami slaps Fulton around to fire him up, and he takes both opponents out with a double clothesline. Spinebuster to Jay, followed by a vicious choke. Boot to Broni's face, then gives Broni a falcon arrow suplex on top of Jay. Fulton continues ragdolling both men, clawslams Jay, clawslams Broni, headbutts the top turnbuckle a few times, then Sami gives the sign and he hoists both men back up for a double clawslam. Sami orders Fulton to kill them, slaps him a few more times, gives Jay the End of Days on top of Broni, and covers them both for the win.
Winner: Madman Fulton
Standard WWF Superstars squash with an extra victim thrown in for laughs. Sami gets a mic after the match and says he's tired of all this Knockouts Division bullcrap, and if Scarlett wants to try and embarrass them, then they can have that match right now. The Crists come out and we're right on to the next match...
Jake & Dave Crist vs Scarlett Bordeaux & Fallah Bahh
Bahh starts plowing through Jake right at the start of the match, and an attempt at interference gets both Sami and Fulton ejected from ringside. Bahh hits a twisting senton to Jake, followed by an avalanche in the corner, but a sneak double team lands him firmly in peril. The Crists work him over for several minutes until he hulks up, takes Jake out with a crossbody, and nearly gets to the corner before Dave tags in and cuts him off. Bahh almost makes it to the corner again, but Dave pulls Scarlett off the apron. Bahh backdrops Jake and drops down on his chest, and finally he makes the tag, and in comes Scarlett! She takes Dave out with a flying headscissors and a stinkface in the corner, then a double rotation flying headscissors sends Jake to the floor. Scarlett comes off the top with a crossbody to both Crists, sending them to the floor. Scarlett holds the ropes open for Bahh, who takes the Crists out with a dive, then Scarlett comes off the top with a somersault dive of her own. DAMN! Jake slams Scarlett, but she catches him with an inverted Frankensteiner, then Bahh puts Dave on his shoulders and Scarlett hjits the Doomsday Device on Dave for a very close 2. Scarlett climbs on Bahh's back and goes for a Banzai drop on Dave, but Jake knocks him off, then hands a roll of quarters to Dave, who knocks Bahh out with it and covers for the win.
Winners: oVe
I am more impressed with Scarlett every time I see her. Anyone who thought she would just be there for eye candy was totally wrong. The Crists go to double team Scarlett after the match, but Tessa Blanchard runs in to make the save. She makes Jake accidentally superkick Dave, then takes Jake out with an Eclipse.
Melissa is backstage with Rich Swann and Willie Mack, who says Michael Elgin is making it so people can't feed their families, and he's going to put an end to his streak of emergency room visits. Swann says just like Mack has had his back, he'll have Mack's next week. Johnny Impact and his advocate come in, and Impact tells Mack to enjoy his good times because they're about to end, and he warns Swann that he's on the Johnny Impact Diet, and will wind up a few pounds lighter once he takes that title.
oVe is backstage, and they're flipping out over what just happened. They're sick of this, and Tessa's going to pay for sticking her nose in their business.
Kiera Hogan vs Jordynne Grace
Grace uses her power to start, Kiera catches her with a dropkick, but Jordynne mule kicks her and hits a second rope senton for 2. Jordynne hits a jackhammer for 2, and Kiera begs off, then tries a cheapshot that Jordynne totally sees coming a mile away. She catches Kiera's hand and nails her, but charges and takes a drop toehold into the bottom turnbuckle. Kiera covers with her feet on the ropes, but the ref catches her, so she chokes Jordynne in the corner with her boot instead. Kiera gets a rear chinlock, but Jordynne gets free and plants Kiera with a spinebuster, drawing the obligatory Arn Anderson mention from the announcers. Jordynne skeeballs Kiera into the ringpost and hits a couple of charging forearms in the corner, and a Vader bomb gets 2. Kiera blocks a superplex and tries a sunset bomb, Jordynne blocks, so Kiera gives her a corner neckbreaker instead for 2. Jordynne hits a spinning spinebuster for 2, then follows up with the Here It Is Driver for the win.
Winner: Jordynne Grace
Great match, and I'm really digging heel Kiera!
We go to the LAX clubhouse where Konnan is trying to get Santana and Ortiz to stop eating and get ready for their match with the Rascalz. He doesn't want them resting on their laurels, and if they don't get their head in the game, they're going to be walking out of here without their title.
Moose is backstage, and he challenges Rob Van Dam to a match at Slammiversary.
And with that...IT'S MAIN EVENT TIME!
Impact World Tag Team Title Match: LAX vs The Rascalz
Ortiz and Wentz start us off with a fast paced back and forth, and Ortiz dominates early. Wentz turns it around and tags Desmond Xavier in to bewilder both Ortiz and Santana with a series of double teams. LAX tries to powder out to the floor, but the Rascalz take them out with stereo dives, then roll Ortiz in and hit a pair of back-to-back top rope moves for 2 as we go to commercial.
We're back as Santana hits a second rope Russian legsweep on Wentz, followed by a German bridging suplex for 2. LAX works Wentz over for a couple minutes before Wentz lays Santana out and makes the tag to Xavier, who cleans house on both men, superkicks Ortiz, and drills him with a running European uppercut in the corner. Ortiz drills Wentz with a missile dropkick, and Santana vaults over him with a leg lariat in the corner and...okay, everyone takes turns hitting a series of rollups that is too fast for me to keep up wtih, but nobody gets a fall. Now we do a superkick exchange that the Rascalz win, and they hit the standing shove moonsault on Santana for 2. Ortiz gets in Trey's face and takes the booze, gets a mouthful, and spews it in the referee's face, burning his eyes. Wentz is unloading on Santana inside the ring and gets a springboard Ace Crusher, then Trey comes off the top with meteora on Santana and gets the fall.
Winners and NEW Impact World Tag Team Champions: The Rascalz
Trey obviously wasn't a legal participant in this match, but the referee was blinded, so I guess it stands? LAX is understandably upset, and a second referee comes out and reverses the decision based on Trey's interference, so I guess now it's...
Winners by DQ: LAX
Nice finish, and leaves the door open for a rematch.
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I'll be back on Sunday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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