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COMPLETE IMPACT WRESTLING - AGAINST ALL ODDS REPORT, FEATURING THE SINGLE MOST INSANE CLOSING SEGMENT OF ALL TIME

By Stuart Carapola on 2019-03-30 00:26:00

Welcome to the Impact Wrestling: Against All Odds Report here on PWInsider.com!

We start off with the usual video looking back at last week's show, then we head to the ring with LAX, and Konnan has a message for the Lucha Bros.  He told them all not to wrestle because he knew things would wind up like this, and if Pentagon and Fenix want a fight, there's no time like right here and now.  The Lucha Bros run out, and Konnan powders out to the floor to observe as a straight-up street brawl breaks out.  Security runs out to break it up, but that ends when the two teams fight them all off and go back after each other.  Pentagon and Fenix part LAX's hair with a couple of tossed chairs, then grab a couple of tables and set them up in the corners.  They take too long talking stuff to Konnan, and LAX is able to get up and run the both of them through the tables, then they stand over them with teh belts in hand, and leave them on their prone carcasses as they head to the back.

LAX is celebrating backstage, and Santana says those belts should have their names engraved on them forever because of the work and soul they put into them.  Konnan challenges the Lucha Bros to face them one more time in Full Metal Mayhem at Rebellion, and if they don't accept, they're going to whip their asses everytime they see them.

Josh and Don talk about stuff, then we go to the ring...

Glenn Gilbertti vs Scarlett Bordeaux

Gilbertti gets a mic before the match and gives Scarlett one last chance to back out, especially given how scares he knows she is.  Scarlett comes outunabashed, and Gilbertti asks if he still wants to do this, and Scarlett says "come on, turkey boy!"  Gilbertti turns his back and gets rolled up a few times, then Scarlett lays in some wicked chops.  Gilbertti gets her by the hair and hammers her with a forearm across the back.  Scarlett rolls away from a fistdrop and elbowdrop and rolls to the outside, Gilbertti grabs her by the hair again, but Scarlett gets an armbar stunner, then goes to the top and hits a flying bodypress for 2.  She hits a couple of clotheslines, but Gilbertti catches her with a double sledge.  Gilbertti Beell tosses Scarlett across the ring, stomps on her shins and fingers while she's down, then does it some more.  Gilbertti does some disco dancing and shoves her face with his boot, and she starts firing right hands into his midsection when he hoists her up by the hair again, dodges a corner charge, and begins unloading with kicks and forearms.  Scarlett hits a running ass in the corner and a stunner for 2.  Gilbertti reverses an Irish whip attempt to a side Russian legsweep and hits the Village People's elbow.  He goes up for 10 punches in the corner, but she reaches up and rakes his back, then powerbombs him with a jackknife cover for the win.

Winner: Scarlett Bordeaux

Pretty damn good match, and I have to give Impact credit for not making this a glorified angle that ended with Scarlett hitting a low blow.

Melissa is backstage with Taya Vaklyrie, who is confident she's coming out of tonight with her title, and Johnny Impact who says he's looking forward to seeing Brian Cage tonight, because after you get one concussion, you're far more susceptible to more.

A couple of girls are backstage laughing at Glenn Gilbertti for losing, and he says to have some respect and scurries away.

This week's GWN Flashback takes us back to Rob Van Dam vs AJ Styles from 9 years ago.  Time flies.

Video hyping Josh Alexander coming to TNA, then we go backstage with Melissa and Tessa Blanchard, who says Gail has no choice tonight because she has this company "by the balls" because Gail attacked her.  Gail deserves it for costing her the title, and everyone thinks she's some kind of legend, but legends come and go.  She's not going to wait on Gail, she's going to the ring to get her apology.

We see a trailer for Rob Van Dam's documentary, then a promo for Madison Rayne's return to Impact Wrestling, followed by a Lucha Bros promo on LAX, then we head back to the ring where Tessa Blanchard comes out says that after everything Gail Kim did to her, this is justice, and she demands Gail come out to the ring.  Gail joins Tessa in the ring, and Tessa starts running her down and gloats that everything Gail worked for her entire life is coming crashing down, and now she's going to apologize to her for everything.  Gail says she was coming out here to do what she needed to, and that's apologize, so she's sorry.  Tessa asks for what, and Gail says for attacking her.  Tessa doesn't feel like the apology is good enough, so Tessa makes her say it again, then tells her to announce her resignation from Impact Wrestling.  Gail admits she has resigned and Tessa says there's no hard feelings, and now she wants to apologize that she's sorry...that the women of her generation did pillowfights and bra & panty matches while she was out here being a champion, and nobody from that could even lace her boot.  One thing Tessa isn't sorry about it that she'll never have to see her around here ever again.  Gail says one more thing: she did resign, but did so on the condition she could come out of retirement to kick Tessa's ass.  Gail proceeds to absolutely destroy Tessa, taking her out with a dive off the apron.  Tessa scurries up the entry ramp while Gail stands tall.

Josh and Don talk about stuff, we see a video package of the recent history between Sami Callihan and Rich Swann, then we go to the oVe Cam where they have apparently taken the guy who helped Sami out last week hostage, have him tied to a chair, have his eyes duct taped open to watch oVe propaganda, and are beating him.  Sami introduces him as the newest member of the oVe family: Madman Fulton.

Knockouts Title Match: Taya Valkyrie vs Jordynne Grace

Jordynne easily overpowers Taya to start, and shows the speed as well by cartwheeling past Taya and catching her in a rolling crucifix for 2.  Taya goes to the eyes, but Jordynne nearly turns her inside out with a shoulderblock for 2.  Taya manages to drop Jordynne on the middle rope and hits a running double knee to the back for 2.  Jordynne easily escapes a fireman's carry, crushes Taya in the corner with a charge, and nearly breaks her in half with a German suplex.  We go to the outside, where Taya rams Jordynne into the ringpost, then chops her on the back for good measure.  Back into the ring we go, where Taya hits a running derrierre in the corner, followed by a running double kneestrike in the corner for 2.  Taya continues dishing out punishment, hitting a spear for 2 as we go to commercial.

We come back as Taya sets up for a suplex and Jordynne easily rockets Taya over her head with a reversal.  Jordynne rams Taya into the ringpost and follows with a series of high impact corner charges of her own.  Jordynne with a springboard Vader bomb for 2.  Jordynne goes for a Muscle Buster, Taya blocks, so Jordynne goes for a superplex instead, and Taya knocks her off with a headbutt.  Taya goes for a moonsault, Jordynne rolls out of the way, Taya blocks the Here It Is Driver and lays Jordynne out with a back elbow.  Johnny Impact comes down to check on Taya, who appears to have abruptly suffered a bad rib injury.  She is, in fact, apparently too injured to continue, and gets herself counted out.

Winner by countout: Jordynne Grace

Brian Cage comes out before the Impacts are able to escape, and slowly stalks Johnny around ringside while Taya bails into the ring, and promptly has her head taken off by Jordynne.  Taya rolls to the floor where Impact uses her as a human shield, backing off until Killer Kross comes out and blindsides Cage, ramming him into the ringpost as we go to commercial.

We're back, and looks like it's main event time!

Brian Cage vs Killer Kross

Kross puts the boots to Cage, who is still in a bad way, but Cage comes back with a series of corner clotheslines, followed by a short clothesline.  Kross catches Cage with a boot and rams him shoulder first into the post, then hits a hammerlock bodyslam.  Kross with an armbar DDT, followed by a t-bone suplex for 2.  Kross gets a cross armbreaker, Cage locks the hands and gets to his feet, stomping Kross' face until he forces a break.  Cage backdrops Kross to the apron, hits a leaping enziguiri, and he tries a deadlift superplex, but Kross blocks by yanking Cage's arm down on the top rope.  Kross gets an arm wrench on Cage, and he again tries to transition to the cross armbreaker, but Cage again locks the hands and gets to the ropes.  Kross warns Cage that he owns him before drilling him with a right hand between the eyes, and whips Cage hard into the opposite corner, causing him to collapse to the mat.  Kross tries again, and cage counters to a springboard tornado DDT as we go to commercial.

We come back as Cage and Kross trade punches in the middle of the ring, and Cage gets the advantage by taking Kross down with a roaring clothesline.  Kross pops right back up and ducks a second clothesline attempt, then catches Cage in the straitjacket choke.  Cage fights his way free, powerslams Kross, and hits a springboard moonsault for 2.  Kross with a backdrop suplex, and Cage is out at 1, and Kross can't believe it.  He carges and Cage catches him in a pop up powerbomb, deadlifts him back up into a powerbomb over the knee, and a roaring clothesline gets a VERY close 2.  Cage's arm is too hurt to hit the Drill Claw, so he hits an F5 instead as Johnny Impact sneaks back down to ringside, and puts Kross' foot on the bottom rope as Cage makes a cover.  Cage sees Impact now and goes after him as Taya sneaks in from behind and low blows Cage behind the ref's back.  Kross with another backdrop suplex, and then another, and he covers...FOR 2!  Wait, now the referee is calling for the bell because he....counted 3?  Okay, that's weird.

Winner: Killer Kross

Kross leaves as Johnny comes into the ring and attacks Brian Cage while Taya goes under the ring to grab a chair and toss it into the ring.  Impact puts it on Cage's arm, Cage shoves it off, so Impact hits a running knee to Cage and puts the chair back on Cage's arm and uses a second chair to hit a conchairto.  Johnny and Taya make out and leave.

We go back to Josh and Don, who...TALK ABOUT STUFF!

We head to the undead realm, where Rosemary grabs a chain and butcher knife to try and straighten things out with Allie as we go to commercial.

We come back and Rosemary opens a casket and forces Allie inside, then she climbs in with her and closes the lid.  We travel through dimensions (yes, literally), and as they leave, it looks like Kiera Hogan followed them in!  Oh, she doesn't know what she's getting herself into here.  Rosemary leads Allie into what appears to be a wrestling show with a bunch of guys with goofy gimmicks and nobody in the audience (envision WCW in 1991), and Jim Mitchell in the ring giving a pre-show pep talk to the boys.  He welcomes Rosemary, who wonders what game he's playing today, but Mitchell says she's the one who wanted to play the game and see the boss, and he's just setting the table for her, and there's a line ahead of her.  Rosemary lashes Allie to the corner and takes a swing at a giant lizard gimmick guy with the butcher knife, who blocks and superkicks her in the face.  He comes after her with a wrench, but she mists him in the face and bashes his head with the wrench, splatting green muck that I assume is supposed to be his brains onto the camera.  The rest of the gang gets in, including one guy who has a katana sword, but she gets the butcher knife and slashes his chest open.  Yes, really.  Now the undead bridesmaids surround Rosemary as Kiera makes an appearance and grabs the sword, tosses it to Rosemary, and she slashes all their throats in one circular swing. Rosemary tells Kiera that she was warned to stay home, but Kiera said she'd be here until the end.  Su Yung comes into the ring and has a moment with Allie, then the two of them attack Kiera and Rosemark.  Allie tries to stab Rosemary to death, but Rosemary gets away, so Su catches her in a mandible claw.  Rosemary kicks her off, drills her in the face with a knee, and prepares to finish her with the knife before Mitchell, holding Kiera with a knife to her throat, says to stop because he told her this wouldn't end well.  From out of the light steps "HIM"...Kevin Sullivan.  Who else?  Sullivan says that she of all people knows how this is going to end.  Rosemary says he knows what they came here for, Allie's soul, but Sullivan says this is his realm, and she is nothing but a serpent, and everything she has done is for nothing.  Su has a Wolverine claw on and tries to catch Rosemary with it from behind, but Allie finally recovers herself at the last moment, shoves Rosemary out of the way, and finds herself on the receiving end of the claw, which goes right through her throat.  Allie drops like a rock and Kiera rushes to her aid as Mitchell looks on stunned.  Allie coughs up blood as Rosemary pleads with her not to go (Oh, she's back in her normal Allie clothes and without the skull makeup now), and she assures Rosemary that it's okay because she's whole again.  Soothing music plays as Allie flickers and then vanishes from Rosemary's arms as Kiera looks on sullenly.  Then we fade to black.

Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com, and if I regain my sanity in time after watching that last segment, I'll be back tomorrow to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!

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