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By Bill Bodkin on 2018-04-07 01:03:00

Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground

It’s a very unique concept taking two wrestling companies that are in essence just TV shows and having them battle it out. It’s even more unique since they share talent.

Show opens up with Marisa Santos and McKenzie Mitchell trying to hype the crowd and oddly enough they’re getting boo-ed until Melissa Santos says “We’re not starting until you guys get F”N loud.” They finally do get, and the boos finally subside. 

Match #1: Chavo Guerrero (Lucha Underground) vs. Moose (Impact) vs. Matt Sydal (Impact) vs. Jack Evans (Lucha Undergound) vs. Caleb Konley (Impact) vs. vs. Matanza Cueto (Jeff Cobb - Lucha Underground) 

We start this show off with the most insane possible match we possibly can. Everyone starts by jumping Moose and Matanza. They clear the ring, and it’s the two big men staring each other down. They do the classic test of strength trading shoulder blocks, but Matanza wins the battle. Moose kips up and hits a picture perfect dropkick. Moose  gets jumped by Chavo and Caleb. Evans comes in and he and Sydal square off. They trade big moves but Evans eats a spin kick while attempting a springboard dive. Chavo and Caleb go at it. Moose hits a pump kick on Matanza but really misses him by a mile. Caleb hits a suicide dive that barely clears. Sydal hits a picture perfect moonsault and wipes everyone out. Of course Jack Evans is still in the ring. So he does his patented springboard twisting moonsault and wipes everyone out. Evans throws Sydal in, and he hits a cyclone springboard kick followed by a standing twisting moonsault.  Moose comes in and hits a spear on Sydal, then clobbers Caleb with a pump kick. He tries a big move but Caleb hits a Rana off the top. Matanza and Caleb square off. Caleb started to get the upper hand but gets caught with a snap catch and throw suplex. This sets up a high speed Wrath of the Gods.

Winner: Matanza

Thoughts: This was the expected train wreck, and early on no one seemed to be sharped. Lots of fumbling and missteps. Match never really got out of first gear, but Matanza really ended the match strong, drilling Conley with his two suplexes. The velocity on them were insane.

Post Match: Chavo gets on a mic.  He puts over the event. He then announces June 13, the new season of LU starts and it might be their best season. A trailer airs.

Knockous Title: Allie (C) s. Taya Valkyrie 

Taya roughs Allie up with waistlock takedowns. Allie tries to shoulder tackle Taya to now available. Taya levels her with a clotheslines. She stomps Allie in the corner. Allie hits a series of deep arm drags but Taya blocks a third. Allie is able to hit a running cross body. Allie charges Taya but Taya side steps, she races around the ring and hits a SICK double knee to the back of Allie’s head. Taya drops a double leg to the abdomen. She has Allie in the corner and kicks her in the hamstring, the lights her up with a chop. Allie and she get in a slap fest, but once again Taya wins again. Allie hits a Canadian leg sweep, but only for one. Taya peppers Allie with punches. She nails Allie with a clothesline and elbow in the corner. Taya bows and taunts the Allie. She charges the corner and misses. Allie charges for a dropkick in the corner, but Taya moves and Taya crashes and burns. Taya slaps on a modified Dragon Sleeper. Allie breaks the hold but Taya hits a hair assisted reversed facebuster. Taya mocks Allie, this leads her to “Allie up.” She throws some forearms followed by a clothesline and a series of diving forearms in the corner. Allie gets a two count. She catches a charging Taya into a modified STO into the corner followed by a dropkick to the posterior of a prone Taya, who crashes head first into the buckle. Taya hits a German and does more corner work followed by a trifecta of running knees to the face. Taya gets a two count. Allie hits a quick DDT, but Taya kicks out.  Allie sneaks out of a tilt-a-whirl head scissors into a Codebreaker.

Winner: Allie - retaining the Knockout Championship.

Thoughts: Decent math. The outcome was obvious, if they had stuck the ending better it would’ve been a lot better.

Scott Steiner & Teddy Hart vs. oVe

This is just one of those weird, wild matches that only could happen during WrestleCon. Oh, and Twitch goes to an ad during Steiner’s intro. We return and of course Steiner is wearing an n.W.o shirt. 

Match starts off with Teddy Hart catching oVe sleeping nailing a picture perfect moonsault to the outside. Hart hits a Project Ciampa on the shirted Crist Brother. The shirtless Crist gets hit with a guillotine DDT driver. He a wild version of Project Ciampa that had Jake Crist land on Teddy’s Hart. Dave Crist slows it down with a chin lock. Scott Steiner keeps wandering in and out of the ring. oVe hits a missile dropkick to Teddy’s arm. Steiner flips off Dave Crist. Jake Crist hits a spinning heel kick on Teddy. They continue double teaming Teddy Hart.  Teddy tries for a submission…and supposedly they tied “shooting” on each other. The crowd has absolutely died during the match. UNTIL Teddy stands on the back of Dave Crist and hits a destroyer. Steiner comes into a thunderous pop and just  mauls everyone. He catches each member of oVe as they come off the top and hits a belly-to-belly. He slaps on the Steiner Recliner on Jake for the win.

Winner: Scott Steiner and Teddy Hart

Post-Match: Steiner tosses the ref.

Thoughts: Uhhh…that wasn’t too good. oVe had to slow everything down to a crawl. The crowd hated it. They came alive for the big spots, and Steiner. Ultimately this was a spectacle seeing Hart and Steiner team more than anything.

King Cuerno, Drago & Aeorstar vs. Desmond Xavier, Andrew Everett & DJ Z

Man…I don’t know if I can even try to fully recap this match, as it should be wrestled at 100mph.  Aerostar popped the crowd by flipping and kipping up round the ring. It was NUTS. Honestly, Aerostar gets better and better every single time I see him. DJ Z hit a nice slow floating back elbow off the top and continued asking for his theme song to be played. Cuerno and Xavier had a really nice exchange of chops…which actually busted open Cuerno’s nipple. Seriously, gushing blood from his chest. DJ Z hit a beautiful neckbreaker/DDT combo on  Aerostar & Drago followed up by a big tope.  Xavier followed with a Saske special. Everett tried to hit a move but a no shirted Cuerno stopped him. Drago slid in while Desmond tried a splash, and then wiped out his opponents. Aerostar completed things with his patented step up dive. Cuerno pulled the arrows from the depths of hell but Andrew nailed him with a springboard dropkick. Everett and Z hit a standing star, moonsault, moonsault series. Aerostar comes in and breaks it up with his delayed splash. Dragon comes off Aero for a Tornado DDT on Everett. Aero hits a rolling Cutter on Z. Xavier and Aero go at it, and X hits the X-1-9. Desmond hits a multiple flip kick (but he missed) Cuerno tries for a cradle tombstone, but Everett breaks it up. He missed a 450 but Cuerno hits a Modified Indian Deathlock, and taps immediately.

Winner: Team Lucha Underground

Thoughts: This was all sorts of nuts….in a good way. It was high spot city, and it was a welcome sight.

Trevor Lee vs. Famous B

Famous B was not wrestling, as expected….and Marty “The Moth”  came out to fight for B.

Trevor Lee vs. Marty “The Moth” Martinez

Marty drills Trevor with a dropkick. He sends Trevor outside and Marty hits a Mike Awesome like dive to the outside, and he should’ve had a concussion from the way he landed. Marty went to springboard in but Caleb stops him. Famous B hits a super kick on Caleb. Trevor does a PK on Marty.  Trevor slams Marty’s head repeatedly into the turnbuckle. Marty corrects him and slams his own head into the buckle. Trevor rakes the eyes and hits a massive powerbomb. Marty kicks out. After a rest spot Marty hits a clothesline followed by a flapjack. Marty goes for a curb stomp but hits a massive spiked DDT. Only a two.  Marty goes up to the top rope but Caleb stops him. B takes out Caleb. Marty misses the moonsault, and Trevor rolls him up with a handful of tights.

Winner: Trevor Lee.

Thoughts: This could’ve been way better than it was. Trevor didn’t hit his big spots, and the cheap ending really derailed the match. Marty looked better than he ever has.

Impact Tag Team Titles: LAX (C) w/Diamante vs. The Mack & Kill Shot (Shane “Swerve” Strickland)

This has the potential to be the match of the night. Ortiz and Killshot start it off. KS tries a double stomp, but gets stopped. Ortiz hits a springboard lucha arm drag. He gets a trapped arm Northern Lights on KS. Santana tries to come in but KS stops it. Santana eventually slingshots in and Ortiz nails a low diving dropkick on KS. Santana hits a big chop on KS. He continues to light him up with cops. KS slaps Santana in the face. KS gains advantage with a leaping sidekick. The Mack is tagged in. The Mack lays the lumber on Santana. The two show their agility. Mack gets taken down by Santana. Mck eventually gets Santana in the corner with a Stinger Splash. Mack is whipped into the corner and does the Jack Gallagher balance on the to rope with his head. Mack hits a flying shoulder tackle that shakes the ring. KS is back in  Santana and he exchange blows. Mack and KS double team Santana with multiple moves. Santana is kept in the ring, and eventually he and Mack brawl. Mack hits a bad ass headbutt. He tried for a German but Santana hits a rolling cutter. LAX double team Mack with a double wheelbarrow Ortiz does the Fuji headbutt. Crowd pops. Ortiz tries a leap frog but he gets clobbered with a forearm, then Mack hits an exploder. Santanan is back in and he boots KS Mack lays the lumber, and every time Santana tries to counter Mack just brutalizes him. KS comes in with an enzugiri. Santana takes him down. Mack does a pump kick. All these guys are exchanging blows. Santana goes for a move, but Killshot hits a mid-air Kill Stomp.Everyone is down. Mack and Kill Shot double the hell out of Santana. Mack delays and could’ve got a three, Ortiz breaks it up. KS goes for a monkey flip but gets put on the top turnbuckle. Killshot gets him up on his shoulders. Instead it’s a fireman’s carry and Mack hits a POUNCE. Holy crap. Santana is in the ring. He starts slapping his opponents. He gets momentary advantage but ends up getting throw into a damn assisted GTS. Mack goes for a power bomb and KS hits a stomp. HOW DOES HE KICK OUT? Santana and Ortiz take out the Mack, and they try a double team but messed it up. They start hitting double teams, but only a two. They almost lost the crowd. LAX does a version of Poetry in Motion. They hit their powerbomb/blockbuster combo.

Winner: LAX

Thoughts: Really, really good match. Yes, the botch was bad, but the match was tremendous! I’m not going to hammer them on that spot because they did 1,000 insane ones without issue. Go watch this match immediately.

Brian Cage vs. Eli Drake

Naturally Eli Drake has to cut a promo. He runs down the crowd. He runs down Lucha Underground. He talks about his time with Cage as his partner in Natural Selection. He said why wrestle in front of the nerds, and why not run the town together. They shake hands, but Eli tries for a sucker punch. Cage hits a high speed clothesline and follows it with a massive backdrops. Eli comes off the top but gets caught with a belly to belly. Cage with a series of kicks.  Eli hits a Stun Gun followed by a DDT. Eli gains control and sloooooows things down. It’s lot of punch kick, ad very basic 80s wrestling. Drake eats a ripcord foream followed by a neck breaker. Cage tries to get back into control and does with a big German suplex. Cage eventually does his Suplex from the apron to the ring. Eli hits an impressive superlex where he leaps to the top rope, and snaps Cage. He only gets a two count. Cage hits a massive clothesline. Eli goes for The Gravy Train and Cage hits a wild spinning neck breaker move.

Winner: Brian Cage

Thoughts: Solid match. Ending was a bit abrupt though.

I Quit Match: Jeremiah Crane vs. Eddie Edwards

Weird match as there’s more juice for this on a regular Impact show. Crane comes out in something Tazz would’ve worn. Edwards stuns everyone with a tope outside. Edwards lights up Crane with chops on the outside. A commercial interrupts the match. Crane has the advantage and has a turnbuckle from under the ring. Crane is ripping across Eddie’s face. Crane whips Eddie into the rails, and then rips his short off. He spits on his hand and then lights up Eddie’s chest with a chop. Eddie chokes Crane with his shirt. Eddie goes a for a chop but Crane ducks and Eddie hits the post. Same thing happens to Crane. Eddie leaves the arena — he goes backstage. He emerges with a chain and tosses it at Crane. He does it again. Eddie starts beating the snot out of Crane. Eddie tosses 4 chairs at Crane. There’s six chairs out there. Crane regains advantage and works on the eye of Eddie. Someone tries to talk smack to Crane, and he responds with a single digit salute. Eddie and Crane exchange forearms but Crane goes back to the eye. 

Crane and Eddie battle and battle. Eddie hits a sick Fisherman’s buster on the apron. Eddie stalks Crane in the ring, but the pace has come to a near halt. Eddie wedges a chair in the turnbuckle. Crane crashes into the chair, and is asked if he wants to quit. “Kiss my ass!” he yells. Eddie starts chucking chairs at Crane’s face. Crane keeps yelling “kiss my ass!” Crane flips Eddie off. Eddie hits a Boston Knee Party through a chair.  Eddie puts Crane on the top turnbuckle. Eddie opens up three chairs. Eddie spits in his hand and chops Crane. Eddie goes for a superplex but Crane bits Edwards. Crane goes for a bomb, but the chairs tumble. Crane throws the chair into Eddie’s ass. He drives Eddie through the chair with a DVD. Eddie doesn’t quit. He puts Eddie in the chair, and chokes Eddie. Eddie says, “Kiss my ass Solomon Crowe!” Eddie slams the chair into Eddie.  Crane grabs a piece of guardrail. He throws the rail into the ring and props it up on the turnbuckle. Crane goes for the bomb on the rail, but Eddie low blows. Eddie goes for the bomb, and mocks up Crane’s thumbs up thumbs down. Crane gets driven through the rail. Eddie says, “Don’t ask him yet!” Eddie grabs a chair and doesn’t know what to do. He places it on Crane…just like he did to Eddie. oVe enters.  

Crane destroys Edwards with a shot to the face. Edwards is out cold. Crane finds the bat under the ring. He places the chair on Edwards. He grabs the bat, and then levels the ref. The crowd pops. Don Callis comes out and says “Do not FN do this!” He throws in the towel for Edwards. Moose comes out with a chair and chases off Crane. Crane goes to the crowd and celebrates.

Winner: Jeremiah Crane

Thoughts: One hell of a hard-hitting match. There were a few stalled moments, but overall a really strong match.

Main Event: Austin Aries and Rey Fenix vs. Alberto El Patron and Pentagon Dark

Pre-Match: We were told there’d be some sort of announcement about this match before it started. 

Fenix and Pentagon will wrestle at Redemption in April 22. This is now a Triple Threat…

Triple Threat Non-Title: Austin Aries vs. Rey Fenix vs. Pentagon Dark

This is going to be nuts to recap. A lot of “F DEL RIO” chants. The announcers really ignore those. Fenix levels Aries with a kick.Pentagon  gets leveled with a knee breaker. Aries did his spinning forearm. Everyone is on their ass. Pentagon and Fenix are in the ring now. They go at it. Spinning head scissors from Fenix. Pentagon gets drilled with a jump kick, then gets caught in a springboard arm drag. Aries flies in with a dropkick. Aries lights up Fenix with kicks He comes off the middle rope with a twisting elbow. Aries goes for a brain buster. Pentagon hits the lung blower which causes Aries to DDT Fenix. Aries reserves a suplex and tries to kip up but gets kicked in the gut. Fenix catches Penta with a rolling cutter. Aries hits a chop on Fenix, really stiff. Aries low-pe’s Penta. Fenix does a torneo off the second rope.  Fenix and Aries are in the ring. Fenix lights up Aries combo strikes. Aries and Fenix battle on the turnbuckle. Fenix backflips blocks a forearm and hits a German. Pentagon comes in with a kick to Fenix’s head. Fenix tries a Rana but gets power bombed. Pentagon goes for a package piledriver put gets his clock cleaned by Aries. Aries hits a snack neck breaker on the middle rope. Aries hits the 450 off the top on Pentagon. He immediately rolls into Last Chancery. Fenix breaks it up. Foreams and chops are served up. Fenix goes for a Muscle Buster but gets rolled up, and then Last Chancery. Pentagon breaks it up. Fenix hits an amazing jumping spin kick. The Much Bros work together. They do some SICK tag moves that I can barely describe. They both go to pin Aries, and get into a chop fest. Aries interjects with chops and forearms. Aries eats a DOUBLE super kick. That was SICK AS HELL. Fenix hits a massive power bomb. That was nuts. They are upping the ante.  Pentagon hit the Pentagon Driver.

Winner: Pentagon Dark

Thoughts; HOLY SMOKES! That is the match to find and hunt down and watch immediately.

Overall: It started off very slow and sloppy, but it ended with a ton of great contests — the main event, the I Quit, and the tag title match.

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