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COMPLETE IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT: A NEW #1 CONTENDER TO THE WORLD TITLE IS DETERMINED, LOTS AND LOTS OF GOOD WRESTLING, AND MORE

By Stuart Carapola on 2018-02-08 21:53:00

Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!

We take a look back at last week when Austin Aries made his surprise return to Impact Wrestling and defeated Eli Drake for the World Title, then we see Johnny Impact, Alberto El Patron, Ethan Carter III, and Moose arriving at the arena.  They'll face off in a four way tonight to determine Aries' first challenger, but first, let's go to the ring for our opening match...

El Hijo Del Phantasma & Rohit Raju vs Taiji Ishimori & Matt Sydal

Round of handshakes before we get started, then Ishimori and Phantasma start us off with a feeling out process.  They go to the mat and do some chain wrestling before winding up at a stalemate.  Brief moment of flippy dippy until Sydal and Raju tag in.  Quick sequence leads to Raju sweeping Sydal's legs and going for a cover, but only gets 1.  Sydal returns the favor and hits a standing moonsault for 2.  Ishimori tags in and works over Raju's arm, then Sydal comes off the top with a double stomp to Raju's arm.  Sydal with a spinkick and cranks so hard on a half crab that he falls backward and takes Raju with him.  Sydal reapplies, Raju kicks him off, but Ishimori tags in and promptly eats aroll of the dice from Raju.  Sydal tags back in, but Raju makes it to Phantasma, and he drives Sydal to the apron with a leaping knee and covers for 2 as we go to commercial.

We're back as everyone takes turns hitting spots.  Well, so much for that wrestling thing they were doing.  Raju wipes Sydal out with a dive to the floor and then Ishimori dropkicks Phantasma to the floor and takes him out with a moonsault.  Back in the ring where Raju gets a spinning armbar on Ishimori, but Ishimori gets out and makes a tag to Sydal.  Sydal gets Raju down and makes a cover, but Phantasma comes in and punts Sydal RIGHT IN THE FACE.  YEOWCH!  Phantasma cleans house on both opponents with tilt-a-whirl backbreakers, then pops Sydal up into a fireman's carry and throws him onto Raju's knee, a sort of two man Go To Sleep, but it only gets 2.  Sydal pops up and hits a leaping knee to Raju's face, then a standing super Frankensteiner to Phantasma.  Ishimori is in and tilt-a-whirls Raju into a Tombstone lungblower, then Sydal hits the Sydal Press for 3.

Winners: Matt Sydal & Taiji Ishimori

Well, Raju was really the only guy who could take a fall here since he's the only one not carrying a title, but terrific opener nonetheless.  It was great to see four X Division guys go out there and have a (mostly) traditional tag team match with minimal flippy dippy.  Wow, and we're already a half hour into the show!  Time flies when you're having fun, huh?

We see a post-show "press conference" with Austin Aries after last week's show where he gets lobbed a bunch of softball questions before saying he's not really part of the roster because he hasn't signed a contract here, and will still be working all over the world.  Eli Drake and Chris Adonis crash the party to protest what happened, and Aries says he'll give him a rematch and he's not even going to backjump him like Drake did to him.  Oh, and by the way, that rematch will happen on next week's show!

The Global Wrestling Network takes us back to the first time Austin Aries won the World Title here, defeating Bobby Roode after creating and cashing in Option C.  I really don't know if "classic" is quite the right adjective to describe the older content.

Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley vs Two Job Guys

Sorry,didn't catch their names.  Caleb beats up Fat Jobber, then Skinny Jobber tags in and gets a bit of offense before getting laid out.  Caleb knocks Fat Jobber off the apron and then Trevor tags in and gouges Skinny Jobber's face.  Trevor pops Skinny Jobber up into a gutwrench, Caleb drills him with a running dropkick to the head, and Trevor finishes with a sitout powerbomb.  Skinny Jobber finally shoves Caleb into Trevor, but Trevor knocks Fat Jobber off the apron and hits a running punt.  Skinny Jobber starts a short comeback that ends with a couple of superkicks, followed by a spike piledriver for 3.

Winners: Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley

Pretty much just a squash.  LAX pops up on the video screen and Konnan calls them a couple of wannabes.  He says failure is a great teacher, and they made a big mistake when they messed with LAX. This just got real, and LAX is coming for them.

Allie finds Kiera Hogan backstage to congratulate her for beating Laurel Van Ness last week, and let her know that she'll be there if anything crazy happens out there tonight.  Someone comes in and delivers a giant envelope to Allie with "TOP SECRET" written on it.  She opens it up and it's from a secret admirer who wants to meet her here next week.  Okay.

McKenzie is backstage with Moose, who whines about never getting a chance to play in the Super Bowl or challenge for the World Title.  He's hungry for gold, and he will be the next #1 contender after tonight.

Knockouts Title Match: Laurel Van Ness vs Kiera Hogan

Hogan starts off with a quick series of moves finishing with a dropkick for 2.  She charges and Laurel elevates her face first onto the top turnbuckle, then curb stomps Hogan into the bottom turnbuckle before tearing off her arm coverings and throwing them at the crowd.  Series of hair snapmares, then Laurel chokes Hogan on the bottom rope.  Kiera gets a schoolgirl rollup for 2.  Laurel goes to the second rope, but Hogan yanks her off and makes a quick cover for 2.  Laurel suddenly car crashes Hogan's face into the bottom rope and hits the Unprettier for 3.

Winner: Laurel Van Ness

Laurel puts the boots to Hogan after the match, then shoves down the ref who looks like that dreadlock guy from Alexandria on the Walking Dead.  Allie runs in and cleans house on Laurel, then picks up the belt as Laurel heads for the hills.

We see oVe hanging out in the parking lot and recording a video of someone I can't quite make out entering the building.

Next week: THE MACHINE, BRIAN CAGE MAKES HIS DEBUT!  I've watched this guy for years, and we're in for a treat when he gets here.

McKenzie is backstage with Ethan Carter III, who says he's the best guy here, there, and anywhere, and if he doesn't fulfill his destiny, he's riding off into the sunset.

Jimmy Jacobs is backstage with Kongo Kong, and he tries to ask Joseph Park nicely to bring Abyss back, and he doesn't like repeating himself.  He says that if Joseph won't bring us the monster, they're going to have to drag the monster out.

Matt Sydal and Ishimori are backstage, and Sydal says his mentor has helped him draw on the spirit of his partner.  Ishimori faces Phantasma next week, and it might be the greatest X Division match ever.  Sydal wants to absorb the good karma, namaste.

Back to the parking lot with oVe, who are...watching the unidentified man open his trunk.  Oh, it's Lashley.  They rush him and lay him out with a pipe, then throw him in the trunk and laugh over their dirty deed before giving Lashley a thumbs down.

Hania vs Amber Nova

Amber throws a few shots off at Hania, but Hania drops her with a Samoan drop and then chokes her in the ropes.  Hania chokes her again. Then again.  Amber finally hits a Frankensteiner, but makes the mistake of trying it a second time and gets powerbombed.  Hania pulls Amber up and hits a Deathdrop for the win.

Winner: Hania

A bit of an underwhelming debut.  Rosemary comes out of the crowd and jumps Hania from behind.  What a babyface.

EC3 is backstage, and he's...WARMING UP!  So is Moose! So is Alberto El Patron! And Johnny Impact dramatically yanks a bottle of water out of a tub and opens it!  The main event is up...NEXT!

Okay, we're back, and it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

#1 Contender Match: Ethan Carter III vs Moose vs Alberto El Patron vs Johnny Impact

They all start brawling as soon as the bell rings, and all four men go right out to the floor.  EC3 and Alberto are working together, and team up on Moose back in the ring.  Impact comes in and unloads a flurry on Alberto, but is quickly dumped back out to the floor and the double team on Moose is back on.  Alberto suddenly rams EC3 into the corner and covers Moose, but EC3 breaks that up and they end up trading blows until Impact comes in with a springboard thing that wipes both men out.  Now Moose is on the comeback trail, flattening Impact with a pop-up powerbomb, then hitting bicycle kicks on the others, then Impact hits him with an enziguiri, and all four men are down.  They get up and go back to trading shots as we go to commercial.

We're back, and everyone is back fighting on the floor.  Moose seems to have tweaked his knee a bit, so Alberto walks away from him and goes back over to the others to ram them into the rail.  He tosses them both into the crowd, then follows and rams them into the fence in front of the first tier of the bleachers.  Impact steals some poor handicapped person's crutches and uses them to beat up Alberto, but Alberto fights back and literally tosses Impact in the trash.  Serves him right.  Impact climbs out, picks up the trash can he just crawled out of, and hammers both Alberto and EC3 with it.  Back in the ring where Impact covers EC3 for 2.  Alberto hits Impact with a DDT.  All three of them wind up on the top rope as Moose climbs over the rail and hobbles into the ring to lay out all three opponents.  Alberto hits a divorce court on the arm, but Moose drills him with a roaring clothesline.  He really looks to be hurting as he runs from corner to corner hammering EC3 and Impact, who hits him with a Frankensteiner off the top rope.  EC3 hits the 1% on Moose, Impact gives EC3 a rolling neckbreaker for 2.  Impact goes to the top, but Alberto runs up and knocks him to the floor with a leaping enziguiri, then gives Moose a lungblower, then dropkicks EC3 into the corner.  Alberto gets the armbar on EC3 right in the middle of the ring, but Moose hits Alberto with a senton before EC3 can tap.  Moose clotheslines Alberto to the floor, but misses a baseball slide and winds up on the floor, where Alberto superkicks his bad leg out.  He climbs back up to the apron and Impact dropkicks him to the floor, then EC3 gets a rollup on Impact for 2.  Impact blocks the 1% and counters to an O'Connor roll for the win.

Winner: Johnny Impact

We have our new #1 contender, and that wraps it up for this week!  Thanks for reading, I'll be back on Sunday with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!

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