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COMPLETE IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT: NEW GFW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ARE CROWNED, BOBBY LASHLEY'S SLAMMIVERSARY CHALLENGER IS DETERMINED (AGAIN), ROSEMARY REASSURES ALLIE, SPUD MAKES HIS RETURN AND GIVES SWOGGLE HIS RECEIPT, AND MORE

By Stuart Carapola on 2017-06-01 21:55:00

Welcome to the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com!  Yes, Josh Mathews is back on commentary, and Jeremy Borash is nowhere to be found.

We start off with a look back at last week when Ethan Carter III became the #1 contender to the Impact Wrestling World Title, and then we're off to the ring where EC3 has an acoustic group doing an acapella version of his entrance theme.  Then he has them do "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" and says that nobody can deny that he's the #1 contender, the barbershop quartet bringing, and soon to be EC3-time World Champion.  He's having fun, but the fun stops on July 2 at the 15th anniversary of Impact Wrestling when he takes on his biggest challenge yet in Bobby Lashley.  He's destroyed James Storm's career, he's on the path to greatness, and he has something special: EC3's fight music.  The quartet sings again, a fun little ditty where they say Bobby Lashley's gonna be gone and will never return again.  Alberto El Patron comes out to rumble, but Impact Management (Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantel, and Karen Jarrett, with Tyrus in tow) come out and reiterate that the inmates aren't running the asylum anymore.  Tonight, Alberto and EC3 face off for the GFW Global Title, and the winner faces Lashley at Slammiversary for the World Title.  Oh, and the match will be inside a steel cage.  Fun!

Eli Drake faces Moose for the Grand Championship, and that match is happening...NEXT!

Grand Championship Match: Moose vs Eli Drake

Our special judges for this match are Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantel, and Scott D'Amore.  Drake has Chris Adonis in his corner.  Moose starts by Beelling Drake across the ring and stomping him on the skull.  Then he does it again.  Drake gets a shot in on Moose and starts to work his knee over with kicks.  More assault on the knee as the clock winds down to end the first round.

The judges award Round 1 unanimously to Drake, and now Round 2 is on as Drake dropkicks Moose's knee out, then goes right back to putting the boots to the knee.  Eli springs off the bottom rope with a vertical drop to the knee, then drags Moose to the corner and wraps his leg around the ringpost.  Moose finally gets some momentum and puts Drake on the top rope and then dropkicks him to the apron with about 30 seconds left.  Drake gets up and charges right into a pop-up powerbomb, senton, and springboard moonsault from Moose.  Moose lands bad on his knee and isn't able to make a cover as the second round winds down.  We're at commercial.

We're back and Moose is unloading on Drake with power strikes as we find out that Moose won the second round, but Drake goes back to the knee and hits a big clothesline for 2.  Both men are dragging as they trade blows with 30 seconds left.  Adonis grabs Moose's ankle from the floor, distracting him long enough for Drake to hit a Celtic Cross as the clock runs out.  And on a split decision, the judges say the winner is...

Winner: Moose

Drake is irate, and rightfully so.  He goes out of the ring and starts yelling at the judges.

We look back at last week when rosemary came to Allie's rescue, then Rosemary finds Allie backstage and spooks the hell out of her while assuring her that she has nothing to fear because WE WILL PROTECT YOU.

Matt Sydal gives his thoughts on tonight's X Division Title match between Low Ki and Andrew Everett.

Amber Nova vs Allie

Amber Nova is from...the garage.  That's literally where she's introduced from.  Okay then!  Nova yanks Allie down by the hair, then does it again.  Allie responds with a couple of clotheslines, but misses a corner charge and winds up on the receiving end of some strikes from Nova.  Allie with more clotheslines and a death valley driver for 3.

Winner: Allie

Good match.  I like Amber, she made a good showing of herself here.  I hope they paid her.  Allie certainly appreciates her, and goes over to give her a hug.

Jeremy Borash and Joseph Park are arriving in a golf cart, and Park was very scared of the way Borash drives.

No Dq/GFW Tag Team Title Tournament Finals: LAX vs Volunteers Of War

A four way brawl breaks out as we start, then Homicide and Diamonte take advantage of the no DQ rules and jump in.  The VoW hold the ring down and retake the advantage, but Santana clips Mayweather's knee before knocking Wilcox to the floor where Ortiz rams him into the ring steps.  LAX with a double suplex to Mayweather, then they trap him in their half of the ring while taunting Wilcox on the apron.  Mayweather finally counters a crossbody by Santana to the End of Days, and then he makes the hot tag to Wilcox, who comes in like a house of fire and runs right over Ortiz.  He covers Ortiz, but Diamonte pulls the referee out of the ring while Konnan hits Mayweather in the knee with a baseball bat.  Homicide comes in the ring and hits Wilcox with one of the title belts, then LAX hits the blockbuster/powerbomb combo for the win.

Winners and NEW GFW Tag Team Champions: LAX

LAX are now dual champions, and they cover Wilcox with the Mexican flag.

We go to the broadcast booth where Josh talks about what he and Scott Steiner are going to do to Borash and Park at ringside.

We go backstage to McKenzie Miles with Joseph Park and Jeremy Borash, who says that he got his first radio job at 15, but never did he want to step in the ring as a wrestler, much less against Scott Steiner, and it's not happening.  Park says Borash needs to buck up, so they're going to go train and be in the best shape of their life at Slammiversary.  Borash says Park is out of his mind and storms off, and Park goes trailing after him.

Sonjay Dutt joins the broadcast team for our next match...

X Division Title Match: Low Ki vs Andrew Everett

Feeling out process to start, but then Everett picks up the pace with a dropkick.  Low Ki turns that around quickly with a mule kick and a charging forearm in the corner.  Everett knocks Low Ki to the floor with a leaping enziguiri, but misses a slingshot crossbody.  Low Ki doesn't miss his slingshot dropkick through the ropes, but then he gets in Sonjay Dutt's face at ringside as we go to commercial.

The action is back in the ring as we come back from commercial, and Low Ki is still firmly in control.  Low Ki with an abdominal stretch, but Everett gets free and connects with a Pelle kick.  Everett with a flying headscissors that sends Low Ki careening into the corner, then a running shooting star press gets 2.  Everett goes for a springboard something, but slips and Low Ki covers for 2.  Ki puts Everett on the top rope, Everett headbutts him off into the ring, and he goes for the shooting star press and...lands on the knees!  Ki is up and hits the shotgun dropkick, then takes the jacket off and comes off the top with the Warrior's Way for the win.

Winner: Low Ki

Great match, and Low Ki is as good as he's ever been after all these years.  Low Ki gets in Sonjay's face and holds up the X Division Title belt while Sonjay tells him to just wait until they get to India.

Bobby Lashley talks about how he's going to Make Impact Wrestling Great Again, then we go back to the broadcast booth where Swoggle is in Borash's usual spot behind the announcers.  Spud suddenly comes out of the crowdf and nails Swoggle from behind, drags him to ringside, and rams him into the ring post.  Spud gets a hammer just like Swoggle's from under the ring and now he unloads on Swoggle with it, doing exactly what Swoggle did to him, and then upping the ante by SMASHING THE HAMMER INTO HIS DING DING.  Swoggle is bleeding, and somehow the announcers are framing it like we're supposed to feel sorry for the little SOB after he did the exact same thing to Spud.  Spud, still hobbling from Swoggle's attack weeks ago, staggers up the ramp as referees attend to Swoggle.

We're back, and it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!

Steel Cage/GFW Global Title Match: Alberto El Patron vs Ethan Carter III

EC3 tries to climb out of the cage as soon as the bell rings, but Alberto drags him back in, smacks him up, and makes a cover for 2.  Alberto rams EC3 into the cage and then uses his boot to grind EC3 against the mesh.  EC3 turns the tables and puts the boots to Alberto in the corner, then drops a vertical splash on Alberto's back.  EC3 charges into Alberto's boots, and Alberto hits a tornado DDT and tries to climb out.  EC3 climbs up after Alberto and gives him a Samoan Drop off the top rope as we go to commercial.

EC3 is still in control as we come back, hitting a hard corner clothesline and then javelin-tossing Alberto into the cage.  EC3 with a three quarter nelson, but Alberto gets out and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.  Alberto tries climbing, EC3 hammers his knee, then carries him out and hits an electric chair flapjack for 2.  EC3 tries to climb, but Alberto hits a super lungblower and both men are down.  Alberto connects with the superkick to a kneeling EC3 and covers for 2, then hits a series of clotheslines to EC3.  EC3 ducks a step up enziguiri and hits an Ace Crusher for 2.  EC3 goes for the TK3, but Alberto counters to the cross armbreaker right in the middle of the ring.  EC3 fights...and fights...and he gets free!  EC3 dodges a charge, sends Alberto into the corner, and hits the TK3 for...2.  EC3 with a sitout powerbomb for 2.  EC3 climbs the cage, but Alberto is up and runs up the cage after him, they fight it out on the top of the cage, but Alberto knocks EC3 down into the Tree of Woe, and Alberto hits a DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE.  Alberto drags EC3 out to the middle of the ring, but instead of going for the pin, he climbs back up the cage and hits a frogsplash, and now he covers for the win.

Winner: Alberto El Patron

And just like that, EC3's title shot goes out the window.  GREAT MATCH!  These guys have terrific chemistry.

Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com! I'll be back on Sunday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!

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