Chikara "Turn Left"
Orlando, FL
3/31/17
Welcome back to the Orlando Live Events center for the 5th show of the WWN More than Mania lineup!
Xyberhawx2000 (Razerhawk & Sylverhawk) vs The Closers (Rick Roland & Sloan Caprice)
The Closers boss, The Big Deal, is still among the missing. The Hawx try to stay ahead of the Closers power offense. Some near falls after Sylverhawk gets a hot tag and double-DDT on both Closers. Sloan almost gets the tap with a crab on Sylver. A miscue when Roland splashes his own partner leads to Razer catching Sloan for the pin.
Winners: Xyberhawx2000
Oleg the Usurper vs Race Jaxon
The former NRG member gone bad instructs Oleg to not touch his face. After a couple minutes of trying to get the brute to understand, Oleg punches him in the gut. Message received! Eventually, Oleg runs his head into the turnbuckle which sets Race off. Back and forth action until Oleg sets Race up for the Off With His Head. The crazed Kobold hits the ring and demands Oleg hit him instead to "fix" him (Kobold is currently stuck between the land of the living and dead). Race almost rolls up Oleg but he kicks out. Oleg yells "Off With His Face" and hits the seated head strike for the pin!
Winner: Oleg the Usurper
Missile Assault Man & Silver Ant vs Legion of Rot (Hallowicked & Frightmare)
The LoR attack during their opponent's intro. Silver Ant is laid out but Missile holds his own against both members of the Legion. The numbers game takes its toll and Missile starts to get double teamed while Silver recovers in time to get a tag. They go to work on Silver. Bad moment where Missile gets knocked to the outside, onto an errantly placed chair used by the production crew. Near fall where Silver double stomps Frightmare and Missile puts him in a crab, almost getting the tap. Silver gets isolated and Hallowicked hits Never Wake Up, allowing Frightmare to pin him. They attack after, trying to rip Silver's mask off (a big no-no in Chikara and a nod to how Frightmare previously retired Amasis from the promotion).
Winners: Legion of Rot
(Intermission)
UltraMantis Black vs Grado (non-title)
Grado tires himself out during his entrance. Chikara Grand Champion UltraMantis hits the ring. The chase each other around for the initial lockup and tire themselves out. Mantis chops Grado's belly and almost taps out to the pain of the impact. Ref Bryce Remsberg checks Grado's belly for foreign objects but it's all legitimate steel ab meat. They get locked up in the corner and roll around the entire ring to avoid the count, locking up Bryce in the middle of it until he drops from the spinning. Grado upends his fanny pack to cover the ring canvas in Doritos. Mantis is then chokeslammed into them for a slow counted near fall. After dodging a shirtless Grado dive from the first rope, Mantis hits Cosmic Doom for the pin. This was fun.
Winner: UltraMantis Black
The Furies (Ophidian, Fire Ant, Icarus, Solo Darling & Travis Huckabee) vs Juan Francisco de Coronado, Wani, Merlok, Hermit Crab & Cajun Crawdad
This is chaos at the start, a 10-person fight all over the arena. Travis and Wani fought in drought of us for a few minutes before the action finally returned to the ring. Solo takes some heat from the crustaceans before Travis hits the ring to fight back. Merlok tags in and the Furies can't do anything against the powerful sea monster. Wani tags in and the team goes to work on Icarus. Ophidian gets the hot tag and hits running double knees on Crawdad until team captain Juan Francisco breaks it up. The crustaceans get a near fall on Ophidian. The teams lock up for a suplex spot until Merlock hits the ring and suplexes them all in one move. The Furies isolate Merlock and try to pin him all at once but he kicks out. Juan german suplexes Icarus and bridges for a near fall but Ophidian breaks it up with a dive. Wani with a flipping DVD on Ophidian. Fire Ant with a stiff kick to Wani. A Tower of Doom on Hermit Crab and a bunch of outside dives later and Solo Darling hits a corkscrew fisherman's neckbreaker on Hermit for the 3-count.
Winner: The Furies
2 out of 3 Falls Title Match: Chikara Campeonas de Parejas Cornelius Crummels & Sonny DeFarge vs Chuck Taylor(tm) & DUSTIN
Taylor(tm) & DUSTIN are a team formed through an IP conflict. Crummels & DeFarge are sickly carny "businessmen".
1st Fall: Chuck & DUSTIN work over each champ. The sickly DeFarge tries to wipes snot on DUSTIN, who demands a disqualification. Ref Bryce only issues a public health warning yellow card. Crummels catches DUSTIN with their tandem flip splash to win the first fall.
2nd Fall: Crummels & DeFarge work over Taylor(tm) for a long time. DUSTIN with the tag who cleans house. He tears off his sweater and hits a dive to the outside on both opponents. He runs them both into the guardrail. Crummels clears DUSTIN from the ring but Taylor(tm) catches him with Sole Food for the second fall.
3rd Fall: DeFarge traps Taylor(tm) in a submission but Crummels fails to keep DUSTIN at bay. They hit their tandem flip on DUSTIN for a near fall. Taylor(tm) gets them to the outside and hits a dive, coming up singing. They hit a double sole food on Crummels for a near fall. Crummels rolls up DUSTIN and DeFarge holds his foot, allowing for a dirty pin. The champs retain.
There's a brief moment where DUSTIN seems like he's going to abandon his partner but he puts his ugly sweater back on.
Winners: Crummels and DeFarge
The crowd chants for one more match.
Encore Match: Space Monkey vs Jeremy Leary
Leary with some near falls off suplexes. Hits Monkey with a monkey flip. Monkey comes back with his own. Tries to finish his with a tail shot but Leary dodges. Monkey powers up by eating a banana. Monkeys pins Leary after ruining his perfect hair and hitting a moonsault while he was distracted.
Winner: Space Monkey
And that's it for Chikara's first show of the week! You can follow them on Twitter: @ChikaraPro
You can see pictures from this event and everything I'm attending this week on my Twitter: @juliusblaise. Give a follow and join my journey through 15+ wrestling shows over this crazy week. This is my 6th show of the week! 6 down, 11(?) to go
If you enjoy PWInsider.com you can check out the AD-FREE PWInsider Elite section, which features exclusive audio updates, news, our critically acclaimed podcasts, interviews and more by clicking here!