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Joey Janela's Spring Break: A Wonderfully Weird, Fun, and Hard Hitting Reason to Stay up till 3 a.m.
Game Changer Wrestling's "Joey Janela's Spring Break" kept me up till about 3 a.m. this morning. I drove to work with barely one eye open, gulping down as much caffeine as I could find.
And it was all worth it.
The show was one of the most fun, and weird, and chaotic, and absurd things I've ever witnessed in my 30+ years as a wrestling fan. It was brilliant, and I highly recommend anyone who hasn't seen it, to hunt it down on FloSlam.
Let's look at the matches:
Kyle The Beast (KTB) vs. "The Callihan Death Machine" Sami Callihan
This was the perfect way to open the show. KTB and Sami exchanged dives to the outside in the first 60 seconds of the match. It was nuts how fast paced and intense this opening was, and it was the perfect hook for the show.
The story of this match was the veteran Callihan beating the snot out of KTB, but still taking him kinda lightly, and then KTB surprising the vet with high impact moves including a twisting Samoan Drop into a cradle pin which caused the crowd to explode.
Callihan eventually put KTB away with a Liger Bomb which he quickly turned into the Stretch Muffler.
Winner: Sami Callihan
Post-Match Thoughts: I think Sami Callihan is 100x better in the ring than the days leading up to his signing with NXT. He's a complete boss in the ring, and has really evolved his character and honed his charisma into something special. The man is a star. Kyle the Beast, who I've seen in Northeast indies before, became a made man tonight. This guy went all out, and despite "losing" the match, he won the audience and Callahan's respect. If any promoters out there saw this match, I wouldn't be surprised if KTB's booking sheet filled up quickly.
Allie and Braxton Sutter vs. Penelope Ford and Andy Williams of Every Time I Die
This was a glorious train wreck of a match. I know that sounds like a backhanded compliment, but it truly was glorious chaos. Sutter and Allie are something special, and Impact Wrestling would be wise to strap the rocket to the backs of both of these athletes.
Given the fact they're the veterans of the match they controlled the majority of it, but allowed the younger team some really nice moments to shine...including the first DOOR SPOT of the show.
Yes, instead of table there were doors. It made zero sense, but WHO CARES.
Andy Williams, not to be confused with my mom's favorite country singer, is a beast of a human. He may not be Eddie Guerrero in the ring, but for someone who doesn't do this full-time he busted his ass. He bumped like a mad man, particularly when Allie CLOBBERED him with a super kick. It was a sight to be seen.
Penelope Ford, one half of Janelope with Joey Janela, showed a ton of upside. Lots of great athletic moves -- sometimes they didn't hit their mark, but Ford was able to immediately, and fluidly compensate. That's the sign of someone who gets it. I foresee big things for Ford in the future.
In the end, Williams & Ford win when Ford did an assisted moonsault with help from Williams on Sutter.
Winners: Andy Williams and Penelope Ford
Post-Match Thoughts: I'd like to see Andy Williams wrestle more, I think he could morph into a strong wrestler. But you know, he's in a successful band and all.
NO DQ Match: Matt Tremont vs. Eddie Kingston
ECW Original Tony DeVito was on guest commentary, and man he added to this match so much. He had such a blast calling this.
Onto the match...this wasn't a match. This was a damn blood bath. And you know what? Given the fact I don't see much blood in wrestling anymore, it was fun to match an old school ECW-style brawl through an arena with blood and viscera flying everywhere.
This was a whole bunch of clobbering and plunder and blood -- not much to write about that wouldn't be repetitive...but still a fun little match altogether. Kingston looked real good, and he's gotten himself into good shape.
Winner: Matt Tremont with a ludicrously awesome running DVD
Announcers Note: I loved the announce team throughout the show. Excalibur of PWG held the entire thing down with his vintage blend of wrestling history, and his hilarious absurd commentary. Former Chikara announcer Denver Colorado was entertaining, and when Chuck Taylor got in there...solid gold.
The Spring Break Clusterf**k: Flip Gordon, Facade, The Invisible Man, Veda Scott, Jervis Cottonbelly, Dink the Clown, John Silver, Brian Idol, Crazy Boy, Jimmy Lloyd, Ethan Page, Arik Cannon, and GLACIER.
This went way too long, it was overly complicated, there were way too many false finishes, no one followed the rules, and it was utterly ridiculous.
Basically, it was as advertised..a clusterf**k.
The match saw some great wrestling from the people you'd expect it from: Silver, Cannon, and Page. You saw absurd high spots from the dudes who do absurd high spots like Gordon and Facade.
And then you had the line of the night from Excalibur, "Oh, because that's what pro wrestling was really lacking in tonight... misogyny." This came anytime some did something rather misogynistic to Veda Scott, who was legit busted open during the match.
Jervis Cottonbelly and The Invisible Man were the highlights of the comedic part of the match.
The Glacier "Mortal Kombat" spots were pretty rad as well. Ethan Page really sold the segment -- if he hadn't it would've gone over like a fart in church.
The bizarre moments came when Dink, who could barely make it to the ring, walked in, bit Veda on the butt, and walk out. Also seeing Crazy Boy formerly of AAA's Mexican Powers tag team, come out was kinda odd.
In the ludicrous end, Ethan Page and The Gatekeepers beat the ever loving crap out of Tommy Lloyd -- put him through like 10 doors altogether...and Lloyd still kicked out of everything, and somehow won.
So weird.
Winner: Tommy Lloyd
Post Match Thoughts: This was a beautiful exhausting match
Lio Rush vs. Keith Lee
I was burnt out by the time this one started, and I ended up passing out midway through it...and I apologize for that. From what I did see, Keith Lee is a damn star. That persona. Those moves. By 2018 he will be the "it" guy on the indies. He is fantastic. Lio Rush is as advertised -- quicker than a hiccup and a guy you can get behind.
I know Rush won, but I can't do this match much justice with a review.
Marty Jannetty vs. Joey Janela
This was the most surreal, self-aware, and genuisly funny matches I've seen in a while. Janela was on fire, and carried Jannetty who seemed pretty hobbled throughout the match. Excalibur and Chuck Taylor skewered Jannetty throughout the match.
There was a brilliant moment in the match where Janela had Jannetty in the sharpshooter, and Bryce Remsburg got knocked down. The entire crowd starts chanting for Earl Hebner, who was booked to literally do a run-in. Instead another referee came out. Janela got pissed and knocked the ref out. This happened probably five more times until Hebner FINALLY came out. Jannetty didn't tap and Janela set him up on a chair. Janela flew off the ropes and crash through the chair in a sick spot.
Oh and then VIRGIL showed up in a silver lucha mask, and attacked Joey. Marty tried to attack the masked man, but he unmasked and then was "cool" with Virgil. So awkward.
Marty tried for The Rocker Dropper, but couldn't put Janela away instead Janela hit a super kick for the win.
Winner: Joey Janela
Post-Match: Janela cut a long, profanity laden promo about how the show started out as a joke but became a reality. Jannetty tried to awkwardly nail Joey with a chair, but stopped awkwardly, then cut a weird promo about the crowd.
Thoughts: No words. Just watch it. You need to watch it.
Main Event: Dan "The Beast" Severn vs. "The King of Bros" Matt Riddle
This was LEGIT awesome. Severn is older, but he looked like a killer. An absolute killer. The look in his eyes was frightening. Riddle shed his usually ebullient nature (despite his braids), and seemed to be in reverence, and trepidation of the legend. These two guys legit beat the hell out of each other. If you don't enjoy striking or grappling, you'd be bored by this match. But if you truly enjoy the "sport" of wrestling you'll be on the edge of your seat the entire time. This is a must-must-see match. Please go see this.
Winner: Matt Riddle via tap out
Thoughts: Matt Riddle, pound for pound, is one of the best American indie guys out there. He's amazing, and it'll only be a matter of time before he's in NXT or WWE. As for Severn...don't sleep on The Beast, he can still go.
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