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WWE RAW REPORT: IT'S A NEW YEAR . . . WITH OLD FRIENDS AND NEW CHALLENGES, NEW GROUPS FORM WHILE OLD FRIENDSHIPS END, AND A NEW WRINKLE TO THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH

By Richard Trionfo on 2016-01-04 23:00:04
We are back and Roman Reigns is in the locker room. Vince McMahon stops by and he says that despite Roman’s uncalled for comments earlier, he wanted to go over the rules for the match. Roman is told there is no outside interference, foreign objects, gouging, low blows, eye scratching. Roman needs to obey Vince’s commands at all times.

It is time to not be sour as you clap for the World Famous Two Time Champs. IT’S A NEW DAY.

The New Day make their way to the ring but Big E is gongless.

Big E wants everyone to pipe down. Two Thousand and Sixteen will be the most magical year of their lives. Big E says it is lit. It starts tonight when they break Kalisto and those dirty disgusting Dudley Boys faster than Mike Tyson busted his booty on his hoverboard.

Xavier says they will recreate that moment. Xavier gives Francesca to Kofi and then Xavier does his best Mike Tyson impression.

Kofi reminds them that Mike Tyson is a WWE Hall of Famer and then he says Mike fell pretty hard. Kofi says out with the old and in with the New Day.

Kofi has a present for all of you.

There is a countdown on the TitanTron . . .

and Chris Jericho interrupts as he makes his return.

Chris welcomes everyone to Raw is Jericho. He says that he is one of the most charismatic showmen in WWE history. Chris says he is back to save the WWE.

Xavier says that just because you are a living legend, have you been watching WWE in 2015? They saved the WWE with the Power of Positivity.

Chris says he is positive that he is looking at three unicorn horn wearing jackasses. Chris says they look stupid. Chris says one minute of Y2J is more entertaining than all of Raw. Everything in the WWE needed a boost with a little Y2J.

Chris says he misses the Jerichoholics. He wants to apologize for having to sit through five minutes of Green Day and their Rooty Tooty gyrations.

Big E wants to know who Chris is calling Rooty Tooty Booty.

Chris repeats it so the crowd has to do it.

Chris tells them to shut the hell up. Chris says he has something important to say. On January 24th at the Royal Rumble, Chris Jericho is officially in the Royal Rumble match. Chris says he will throw out 29 other superstars including the three of you if necessary. He will go on to the main event of Wrestlemania for the second time.

Chris says that now that he is back in the WWE, everyone will never EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER be the same Agayne.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Six: Kofi Kingston, Big E, and Xavier Woods versus Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Kalisto

Woods and Kalisto start things off and Woods says he wants Bubba. Bubba is okay with the tag being made. They lock up and Woods with a chop. They lock up and Bubba returns the favor with a chop in the corner but it is to the back because Woods flinched. Bubba with another chop and Kofi tags in. Bubba with a chop and wrist lock. Kalisto tags in and he hits a springboard double sledge to the arm.

Kalisto with a wrist lock. Kofi with a reversal but Kalisto with a reversal of his own for a near fall. Kalisto with an arm bar. Bubba tags back in and he hits a delayed vertical suplex. Bubba gets a near fall. Kalisto tags back in and he hits a springboard double sledge to the arm. Kalisto returns to the arm bar.

D-Von tags in and he connects with a head butt. Kofi with a punch and Xavier tags in and D-Von with a hip toss. Kofi and Woods go to the floor. Kalisto tags in and Bubba presses Kalisto over his head and tosses him onto The New Day.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Big E with a shoulder tackle and a belly-to-belly suplex on Bubba for a near fall. Xavier tags in and he punches Bubba. Bubba with a head butt but Woods with a drop kick and a snap mare followed by a kick for a near fall. Woods with a cobra clutch. Woods with a thrust kick and a kick to the chest for a near fall. Kofi tags in and slingshots into the ring with a kick. Kofi with a running kick for a near fall.

Kofi with a kick and punches in the corner. Kofi misses a splash into the corner and Kalisto tags in and Kalisto gets on Bubba’s shoulders for a seated splash. Kalisto with a springboard corkscrew splash. Kalisto takes care of Woods and Big E. Kalisto with a Listo Kick and then Woods grabs Kalisto. Big E tags in and hits a splash on the apron.

Big E sends Kalisto back into the corner and he kicks Kalisto. Woods tags in and kicks more. Kofi tags in and kicks him. Big E with kicks. Kofi tags in and gets Irish whipped into the corner for a drop kick as Woods plays along. The New Day dances for a moment and then Kofi kicks Kalisto into the midsection and he punches Kalisto.

Woods tags in and he connects with a fist drop. Woods puts Kalisto in the ropes and hits a drop kick to the back and Woods gets a near fall. Woods with another cobra clutch on Kalisto this time. Woods with a snap mare and Sliding D. Kofi tags in and kicks Kalisto. Big E tags in and he hits the Kamala Splash and gets a near fall. Big E sends Kalisto to the apron but Kalisto with an enzuigiri. Big E goes for the spear through the ropes and Kalisto moves.

D-Von and Woods tag in and D-Von with a clothesline and elbow. D-Von with a flying shoulder tackle and a neck breaker. D-Von with a spinebuster to Kofi. D-Von with a splash to Woods and a flying shoulder tackle. Woods with a rollup on D-Von for a near fall. D-Von with an elbow and Bubba with a back body drop.

Bubba flips flops and flies with a Bubbonic Elbow. Bubba with a Bubba Bomb to Woods for a near fall. Kalisto with a handspring round kick to Big E followed by a suicide dive but Big E catches Kalisto and he runs Kalisto into the turnbuckles. Kofi tags in and Bubba slams Kofi and then D-Von goes up top for the Wassup head butt but Woods pushes D-Von off the turnbuckles. Bubba chases Woods.

Big E tags in and they hits the spike Big Ending for the three count.

Winners: Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods

We are back and it is time to take a look back at how we got tonight’s Main Event.

Match Number Seven: Sheamus versus Roman Reigns for the WWE World Title (with Guest Referee Vince McMahon)

Sheamus attacks Roman while Vince holds on to the title belt and Sheamus with a slam for a near fall. Sheamus with a clothesline for a near fall. Sheamus with an elbow to the head. Sheamus sends Reigns into the turnbuckles and he connects with knees. Sheamus climbs the turnbuckles and punches Sheamus but Roman gets out of the corner and Sheamus hits the turnbuckles. Reigns with a kick.

Sheamus with a hard Irish whip for a near fall. Reigns with punches and a clothesline. Reigns gets Sheamus on his shoulders but Sheamus gets to his feet. Reigns with a punch and Neverending Story in the corner. Reigns clotheslines Sheamus over the top rope and he follows Sheamus to the floor.

Sheamus sends Reigns into the ring steps. Vince looks at Lillian while Roman is hit in the head with the ring steps.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Sheamus with a reverse chin lock. Reigns with punches. Sheamus with a knee to the midsection. Sheamus puts Reigns in the ropes and he connects with forearms. We see footage from the commercial break when Sheamus slammed Reigns on the announce table. Sheamus with punches to the back. Sheamus with a Finlay Slam and he gets a near fall.

Reigns with punches to Sheamus but Sheamus with a sleeper attempt. Reigns with a belly-to-back suplex to get out of the hold. Vince gives Sheamus some encouragement to try to cover Reigns but Sheamus with a European uppercut. Reigns with punches. Sheamus with a side head lock and Reigns with clotheslines followed by a flying clothesline. Reigns with a splash into the corner but Reigns is sent to the apron. Reigns drops Sheamus on the top rope and Reigns with the Juggernaut Broad Jump Drop Kick and Reigns with a Samoan Drop.

Sheamus is able to kick out because Vince takes his time to make the count. Vince explains his cadence to Reigns. Reigns with a reverse chin lock in the ropes but Sheamus drops Reigns on the ropes. Sheamus with a knee lift from the apron. Sheamus with White Noise set up and Reigns with a one arm sit out power bomb. Vince gets something in his eye before he can make the three count.

Vince says he has something in his eye but Reigns thinks he might be lying. Sheamus with a rollup for a near fall. Reigns with a Superman Punch and Vince refuses to make the count.

Reigns wants to hit Vince and then Reigns sets for the spear but instead he hits Vince with a Superman Punch. Reigns avoids a Brogue Kick and Reigns with a spear but there is no referee to make the count. Reigns wants an official to come to the ring.

Sheamus rolls to the apron and Reigns is alone in the ring who is conscious. Reigns goes for the Juggernaut Broad Jump Drop Kicka gain. Reigns with a Superman punch off the steps. Reigns sends Sheamus over the announce table.

Vince wakes up and he sees Reigns at ringside.

Reigns gets back into the ring and Vince tries to leave the ring. Reigns throws Vince down. Reigns grabs Vince and then he looks up. Reigns is stopped by Stephanie McMahon’s music.

Stephanie runs to the ring and she makes her way to the ring. Stephanie gets on the ropes and Reigns throws Vince at Stephanie and Stephanie falls into the ring.

Stephanie gets out of the ring and Roman looks at Stephanie and then Vince. Roman tells Stephanie to watch and Reigns sets for a spear but Sheamus with a Brogue Kick and a second Brogue Kick. Sheamus wants Vince to make the count so they send in Scott Armstrong but he can only make a two count.

Sheamus argues with Scott Armstrong. Sheamus tells Armstrong to hold Reigns up for the Brogue Kick and Reigns with a Superman punch to Armstrong and Sheamus. Reigns with a spear and referee three makes the count.

Winner: Roman Reigns

After the match, Vince punches the referee who made the three count.

Vince takes the mic and he says that as the Chairman and CEO of this company that the next time you defend that championship, it will be at the Royal Rumble. If it is one versus all, it will be you defending the title against 29 other men in the Royal Rumble match.

We go to credits.


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