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WWE RAW REPORT: LAW AND ORDER, JOHN CENA RETURNS TO TELEVISION, KEVIN OWENS REARRANGES FURNITURE, MIZTV, AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2015-12-28 23:01:17
We are told by Michael Cole that Vince McMahon has been booked and we see his mug shot.

Renee Young is outside the police station and she says that he is possibly being charged with resisting arrest. She mentions that Stephanie is there with Jerry McDevitt.

The New Day makes their way to the ring.

We are back and Xavier says hello to New York City. This past summer, they became the WWE World Tag Team Champions. Kofi points out that the trombone made its debut in this building. Big E asks if you remember when they came out to sing a few songs in this building. Who brought their pitch pipe? Big E says it is defective.

Kofi asks if the people want to hear a special song. Xavier reminds everyone that you did not vote for the New Day as Tag Team of the Year. Guess who gets a song now? NOBODY.

Big E tells the Usos or Kalisto to come out and sing a song since after all after all after all, you voted for them for Slammys.

Kofi says every time the New Day comes out here with microphones and open their mouths, it is an OMG moment. When the kids misbehave, you give the New Day a call and we will fight your children.

Xavier asks Kofi if he is a father. Kofi says OMG. Xavier says that Big E is ROFLing as he rolls on the mat.

Match Number Three: Kofi Kingston (with Xavier Woods and Big E) versus Kalisto (with Sin Cara)

Kalisto with a waist lock and Kofi with a standing switch. Kalisto with a wrist lock. Kofi with a reversal. Kofi with a wrist lock and Kalisto kips up and sends Kofi to the mat. Kalisto and Kofi avoids kicks and then they both go for drop kicks. Kalisto chops Kofi and then he goes to the turnbuckles and arm drags Kofi across the ring and follows with a springboard head lock take down.

Kofi gets to the ropes and Kalisto with a break. Kofi kicks Kalisto and punches him in the chest. Kofi goes to the turnbuckles and misses a double stomp when Kalisto moves. Kalisto with a kick and head scissors. Kalisto with a corkscrew cross body and then he kicks Kofi and hits a rana driver. Kalisto kicks Woods off the apron and then Cara with a cross body onto Big E and Woods. Kalisto with a rana for the three count.

Winner: Kalisto

After the match, Xavier wants to know what kind of a man Sin Cara is. Children look up to you and you cheated to help your friend win. Xavier tells Cara he disgusts him. Xavier says if Cara wants to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. He says that paybacks are a BIG E and you will face him tonight.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Four: Big E (with Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods) versus Sin Cara (with Kalisto)

We are back and the match is joined in progress. Big E with an abdominal stretch but Cara escapes and kicks Big E. Big E with a back body drop. Big E claps and then he misses a clothesline and Cara goes for a springboard cross body but Big E catches him. Cara with an arm drag and drop kick. Big E goes to the floor and Cara teases a dive and goes to the apron. Big E pulls Cara off the apron.

Big E sends Cara back first into the apron. Big E wants to know what happened to Sin Cara and the medical staff checks on him as the referee suggests Cara might have hurt his shoulder. Cara rolls into the ring and Big E makes the cover and gets a near fall. Big E with a punch to the midsection and Big E with a running body block and Cara goes down. Big E with another punch to the midsection.

Big E with an abdominal stretch. Big E punches Cara while Woods plays the trombone and Kofi dances. Big E puts Cara in the tree of woe and Big E misses a shoulder into the corner and Cara pulls himself up to the top turnbuckle and Cara with a corkscrew senton and both men are down. Cara with chops and a springboard cross body. Cara with a quebrada for a near fall. Big E sends Cara into the turnbuckles and he puts Cara on the turnbuckles. Big E up top and Cara hits a super Finlay Slam and both men are down. Kofi sends Kalisto into the ring steps and Woods gets knocked into the ring.

Big E hits Cara from behind and hits the Big Ending for the three count.

Winner: Big E

We go to commercial.

We are back and Miz is in the ring for MizTV. Miz says this is the Year in Review Spectacular. Miz starts with January 1st when he made his New Year’s Resolution . . .

Ryback’s music plays and he comes to the ring with a mic and a purpose. Ryback tells Miz he looks stupid. The Big Guy has a big appetite but he has had his fill with MizTV. The WWE Universe does not care about the past, they care about the future.

In 2016, it will be the Year of the Big Guy.

Goldust’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. He says tis the season of awards. Is this the year that the Miz wins a SAG Award? Goldust does not think so. Is this the year that Miz wins an Oscar? Is this the year the Miz wins some Golden Globes? Goldust barks at Miz.

Zack Ryder’s music plays and he comes out. He says Brooklyn is New Zack City. 2016 will be the Year of Zack Ryder. Ryder with a few woo woo woos.

Miz says it is time to calm down because things are getting disrespective.

Miz says on January 2nd, he tried Vikram Yoga for the first time . . .

R Truth’s music plays and he comes out. Truth wants to know What’s Up. Truth says that y’all need to remember that every Superstar on the roster is eligible to be Superstar of the Year so when you cast your vote, Vote for R Truth.

Miz reminds Truth that the Slammys were last week and that Truth won a Slammy.

Truth remembers and he says this is on him. He tells everyone his bad and he says he needs to get him a daily planner.

Miz starts to talk about January 3rd, but . . .

Heath Slater’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring. He says if anyone has a lot to say, it is him.

Big Show’s music interrupts Slater’s proclamation.

Slater tells Show that nobody cares what you have to say. It is all about Heath Slater BABY.

Show with a KO punch to Slater and then he takes care of almost everyone else in the ring, except Truth. Truth with a pre-emptive knock out punch to himself, but Show decides to pick up Truth and choke slam him.

Show and Ryback stand face to face and Ryback with punches to Show and then he tries to clothesline Show over the top rope but Show grabs Ryback and throws him over the top rope to the floor.

Show laughs at the ‘Please Retire’ chants. Show says he will think about it and he says why doesn’t he enter the Royal Rumble match as entrant number one. Then he wins the Royal Rumble and goes on to Wrestlemania where he wins the WWE Title and then takes the title and shoves it up your . . .

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Ryback versus Big Show

Ryback with punches and kicks. The referee warns Ryback and Ryback goes up top and hits a double sledge off the turnbuckles. Ryback goes up top again and Show with a punch to the midsection. Big Show with a shoulder tackle. Big Show with kicks to Ryback. Show with an Irish whip that sends Ryback sternum first into the turnbuckles. Show walks across the chest.

Show with a chop and then he Irish whips Ryback and punches him in the midsection. Show with an Irish whip and he runs into a boot. Ryback goes up top and hits a missile drop kick. The straps come down and Ryback sets for the clothesline. Show goes to the floor and he leaves the ring.

Show starts to walk to the back while the referee starts his count and he gets to ten.

Winner: Ryback (by count out)

Coverage continues on next page


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