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By Dave Scherer on 2013-05-19 20:01:36

I missed the pre-show. My damn internet went out at 4:25 and when I got back I couldn't find the mouse to my PC. I am off to a good start here. Anyway, I heard The Miz beat Cody Rhodes. Raise your hand if that surprised you.  

The show is opening up with Chris Jericho vs. Fandango. Jericho is out first. Video package of their feud followed. Summer Rae and Goo came out next. Rae is hot. Goo probably gets a better reaction because he has her. She is smoking hot and the announcers are not afraid to tell us. ... Goo and Rae danced for a while before the match. And here they go.

Jericho is in complete control early. Jerry Lawler is loving Summer Rae to the puppy-th degree. ... Jericho went and stood on the announce table to get props from the crowd. When he came in Goo took control briefly but Jericho stomped him out of the ring. ... Goo came back in and took control, getting a few near falls. Goo then went to the top for the legdrop but missed it. Jericho did the Lionsault and got a two. Jericho did a roll through and got Goo in the Walls of Jericho. Goo managed to get to the ropes to force the break. Goo went back to the top and went for his leg drop but jumped into The Codebreaker. 1-2-3, Jericho wins. Will we soon be pronouncing it Fan-Dan-Gone? I was surprised to see Goo lose so soon. That isn't a great sign for Goo. Solid opener.  

Sheamus did a promo where he told Mark Henry, who he called "Lumpy", that he isn't a truck and won't be easy to drag around the ring, fella.

US Title time with Kofi Kingston defending against Dean Ambrose. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollinn came out with him, but left the building. At least it appears that way. ... The match opens up with Ambrose in control for the first few minutes. Then Kofi came back and went for his finisher in a about a minute. I hate when they do that. Ambrose then used that to get a near fall. Kofi went up top but Ambrose met him. Kofi pushed him off but Ambrose came back up and hit a double arm suplex from the top. Cool spot. Two count only. ... Ambrose ran into the corner and met a Kofi boot. Kofi got a two count. Kofi then hit Trouble when Ambrose was on the apron. Ambrose went to the floor and Kofi could have won by count out but instead went to the floor and brought Ambrose in to pin him. He only got a two. ... Kofi missed the Trouble and Ambrose hit him with a headlock DDT to win the Title. ... It was really quick and all action, but not really a "match". It came off very choreographed to me, especially on Kofi's end. His work has very little realism to it. Now, Ambrose has the US Title. Whether that is a good thing or not we will see soon enough.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus in a Strap Match is up next. Somebody's gonna get their ass kicked. Hopefully, there is some violence here. ... Sheamus was the first one to touch a corner but Mark broke the count. Mark then used the strap to tie up Sheamus and then started tagging turnbuckles. He got to two before Sheamus grabbed the ropes to break the count. Cool spot. ... Sheamus then smartly tagged three turnbuckles when he was outside. He went for four and hit the floor....after Mark creamed him. ... Mark then put Sheamus on his shoulders and touched the corner, but Sheamus did the same. Mark noticed it before the fourth one so he dropped Sheamus and laid him out with a headbutt. ... Sheamus took control and started using the strap to beat Henry. Sheamus got three corners but got laid out by Mark before he could get to four. ... They were down on the floor when Sheamus used the strap to pull Henry and the turnbuckle. Sheamus got three corners and had to go through Henry to get to the fourth one. Henry caught him and went for the WSS but Sheamus got out and hit the Brogue Kick and got the fourth one. It sure seemed like the ref waved off counts way faster earlier. It was a good win for Sheamus. It was a crappy loss for Henry. It was solid. I really hate how they have used Henry lately. Ugh.

AJ was on the phone with Dolph. Kaitlyn came in and said she knows that AJ is trying to get out of the match. Kaitlyn says no. Then AJ mocked Kaitlyn's secret admirer. Kaitlyn said she would rather be catfished than be with the Coppertone baby (because the World Champion means nothing). She called AJ Looney Tunes. AJ dared her to say it again. Kaitlyn said "That's all folks", quoting Porky The Pig. She walked away. AJ says you are quoting a pig and Kaitlyn attacked her from behind. That made sense HOW? Huge babyface Kaitlyn attacking little heel AJ? Who writes this garbage?

Zeb Colter came out with Jack Swagger. Of course, Zeb talked in-depth about the IRS scandal from earlier this week. The fans chanted "What" and it was totally apropos. I wish they would have chanted "We came here to see wrestling toolbox, not watch CNN". Zeb then mocked that the Cardinals have Hispanic players on the team. Shut up already. Alberto sucks in Zeb's world. They will beat him and then go hunting for Dolph. God, that was freakin' painful. ... Lilian then introduced Ricardo Rodriguez, en Espanol. Zeb did nothing. RR introduced Alberto Del Rio. The "I Quit" match is up next.

Click on to Page Two for more live thoughts from tonight's Extreme Rules PPV.

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