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By Richard Trionfo on 2012-07-09 23:04:23
We begin with footage from last week when CM Punk and Daniel Bryan had their match and AJ felt unloved because they actually cared about wrestling. Then AJ decided to ‘GET THE TABLES’ and she was going to throw herself through the table. Then it continued on Smackdown when Punk said that he cared about AJ. Daniel Bryan tried to clear the air and he got kissed. Then Punk got kissed. Who will AJ skip past and kiss tonight?

We are live from Denver, Colorado and your announcers are Michael ‘Avalanche’ Cole and Jerry ‘When do I get to beat Heath Slater’ Lawler.

AJ makes her way to the ring and she has a smile on her face. AJ mentions that on Sunday in the WWE Title match, she will be the guest referee. She says that she realizes that her actions can greatly affect the outcome of this match. The thought of that is overwhelming and very emotional.

AJ says that with that in mind, she wants everyone to welcome CM Punk to the ring.

Punk says that he is here and he wants to know what this is all about.

AJ looks into Punk’s eyes and she tells him that he told her his true feelings when he called her mentally unstable and in need of help. AJ says that she is in charge of all of her faculties. She says that Punk’s sentiment for her . . . she has never . . . no one has ever cared about her, let alone show compassion and care about her. When she kissed him, she knew it. She knew what she had to do.

AJ says that his eyes send love straight into her heart. He fills her up with passion and desire. AJ says that in essence, he turns her on. Now she knows what she has to do.

AJ gets down on her knee. AJ asks Punk to marry her.

Daniel Bryan comes to the ring screaming no. He tells AJ to listen to him. She is going to make the biggest mistake of her life and he cannot let her do that. CM Punk does not love her. Everyone knows that Punk doesn’t love her. Punk is playing her because she is the referee on Sunday. Bryan tells AJ that he hurt her in the past, but he never ever stopped having feelings about her.

Punk only cares about one person and that is CM Punk.

Punk tells Daniel that he doesn’t know the first thing about him and he doesn’t know how Punk really feels about AJ.

Bryan tells Punk to ‘say it’. Bryan tells Punk to say ‘I do’.

Bryan says that Punk sees her as a special referee. Bryan says that he sees AJ as a special person. They are so connected. They had the same idea. Bryan says that when he woke up this morning, he was not going to stop a proposal, he was going to make one. Bryan asks AJ to marry her.

Punk says that this is a load of crap. Punk says that Bryan woke up this morning and said that he was going to propose to her so where is the ring? Punk says that Bryan is a fraud and a liar. Punk tells AJ that they can go to the back and have a discussion about the entire thing.

Bryan tells Punk not to talk down to her future fiancé.

The ding dong returns and Michael Cole is happy to announce the return of the anonymous Raw General Manager.

Michael Cole unveils the Anonymous General ManagerTron Raw 1000.

Cole quotes ‘surprise’ he is back and running Raw tonight. He has been enjoying the love triangle and Punk and AJ make a great couple. They will be in a mixed tag match when they face Daniel Bryan and Eve.

Bryan says that this is not fair and that Bryan and AJ should be a team.

The ding dong says that if Bryan beats Punk, AJ will see her in a different light.

AJ says that this is a bit confusing and the proposal caught Punk by surprise. AJ says that Bryan’s proposal caught her by surprise. AJ says that she is happy that they have this match tonight. She believes that everything happens for a reason. AJ says that she has a feeling that she is going to walk out of the arena tonight with her future husband.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Alberto Del Rio trying to fix the immigration problem only to see Sheamus show his support for the immigrants. Then Del Rio attacked the man he will face on Sunday night.

Match Number One: Sheamus versus Jack Swagger

Swagger with a waist lock and take down. Sheamus with elbows to Swagger and Swagger sends Sheamus to the turnbuckles. Swagger tries for the double jump Swagger Bomb but Sheamus gets up and hits White Noise. Sheamus channels his inner Orton and looks around before hitting the Brogue Kick for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

A car drives in the back and Del Rio says that Swagger is no Del Rio. He did what no one else has done on Smackdown. He left him like a dying burro. Del Rio says that he will take the title from Sheamus on Sunday.

While Del Rio drives away, Sheamus drills Swagger with another Brogue Kick.

Santino is in the back and he congratulates Zack Ryder for winning the battle royal. Zack says that he will have more charisma than the computer. Santino says that he heard the general manager is in the building and Santino says that he will find it.

Santino looks for a clue as we go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole says that Rock will be back in two weeks on the 1000th episode of Raw (even though Cole said this week was the 999th [sic]).

Match Number Two: Tensai and Dolph Ziggler versus Tyson Kidd and Christian

Dolph and Kidd start things off and Kidd goes after Tensai but Ziggler attacks Kidd and hits an elbow drop. Kidd with a neck breaker. Christian tags in and hits a running forearm and flapjack. Christian with a back elbow off the turnbuckles and then Christian claps. Ziggler hits Christian and then Tensai tags in. Tensai misses a charge into the corner and Christain hits a missile drop kick. Ziggler distracts Christian and then Tensai hits a back senton for the three count.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler and Tensai

After the match, Tensai attacks Kidd and he power bombs Kidd into the apron while Ziggler walks away. Vickie appears to be impressed while Tensai hits a back senton on Kidd.

Cole sucks up the Anonymous General Manager and hopes that it becomes the new General Manager on the 1000th episode. Cole asks who he wants to be in charge and Lawler says that Teddy Long should run Smackdown and Mick Foley should run Raw.

Cole spills something on Lawler and runs away when the ding dong sounds. Cole refuses to read the e-mail.

Lawler assumes the position and reads that we will have a Wrestlemania Rematch with Cole facing Lawler.

Cole wants the match to be changed.

There is a ding dong and Cole thinks the match will be changed. HAL RAW 1000 will let the WWE Universe decide. Looks like we have a match.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Cole and Lawler do their last minute campaigning for their match.

Match Number Three: Brodus Clay with the Funkettes versus Drew McIntyre

Drew with a kick and punches to Clay but Clay backs Drew into the corner and punches Drew and Irish whips him but he misses a charge into the corner. Drew with a kick and he goes up top and goes into a head butt. Clay with a splash for the three count.

Winner: Brodus Clay

Santino is in the back and he thinks that Chris Jericho is the anonymous GM. Jericho says that he hates the computer and he asks Santino if he isn’t the anonymous GM. Santino is suckered into Jericho’s charm and he leaves.

Show enters and Jericho says that he was looking for him all day. They were the greatest tag team and they get their chance to weaken Cena and Kane. Show says that some of his most embarrassing times were as a part of Jeri-Show. Show tells Jericho to stay out of his way.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Raw 1000 Memorable Moment and it is from Stephanie McMahon. It was the night that Stephanie was going to renew her vows with Hunter in 2002.

John Cena makes his way to the ring and he has something to say before his match. John says that he feels the same way as the fans. In six days in Phoenix, the world will witness Money in the Bank. If you plan on going through hell, you might as well keep going.

Money in the Bank is a brutal match but there is an unbelievable reward. No one cares about pinfalls or submissions. There is a common goal. A contract for the WWE Championship.

In six days, even the nicest guys can become brutal and ruthless with that destiny hanging over your head. Ever since Money in the Bank started, the person who has grabbed the contract has always cashed in to become champion.

Cena reminds us of the two things he will do on Sunday. First, he will keep Big Show from winning and he will stop Big Show by his hand. Second, he will do everything to be the next Mr. Money in the Bank.

Match Number Four: John Cena and Kane versus Big Show and Jericho

Jericho and Cena start things off and Jericho points to the briefcase. Jericho and Cena with a top wrist lock but Cena with a side head lock. Cena with a shoulder tackle for a near fall. Cena with an Irish whip and bulldog. Show tags in and Jericho yells at Show.

Show takes his time entering the ring. They throw some punches that don’t connect. Show grabs Cena by the throat but Cena escapes and he tags in Kane. They lock up and Show sends Kane towards the corner. They lock up again and Show puts Kane in the corner but Show misses a punch and Kane with punches in the corner. Show with an Irish whip and splash into the corner.

Show with a forearm to the back and Kane goes to the floor. Jericho kicks Kane on the floor when the referee was not looking. Show punches Kane in the midsection but Kane with an uppercut. Show with a boot and shoulder tackle to Kane. Show has something to say to Cena on the apron.

Show with punches to the midsection. Jericho tags in and Kane with an uppercut. Cena tags in and hits a clothesline after an Irish whip. Cena with a suplex for a near fall. Show hits Cena from behind when Jericho distracts the referee. We go to commercial.

We are back and Show head butts Cena and then connects with the shhhh chop. Cena avoids a second shhhh chop and he tries to slam Show but he collapses under Show’s weight. Cena with a kick and punches but Show with a bear hug. Cena punches his way out of the hold and hits a belly-to-back suplex.

Kane tags in and hits a drop kick and then he throws an uppercut followed by a few running clotheslines into the corner. Kane with a DDT for a near fall. Kane goes up top but misses the flying clothesline. Show with a spear for a near fall. Show with a punch to the chest and Jericho is tagged in.

Jericho goes up top and hits a double sledge and he kicks Kane against the ropes. The referee pulls Jericho out of the corner but he is able to continue the attack on Kane with kicks. Jericho chokes Kane in the ropes and then he stands on Kane’s back. Jericho with a splash to the back.

Show punches Kane and we go to commercial.

We are back and Jericho with a reverse chin lock on Kane. Kane gets Jericho on his shoulders and he backs Jericho into the corner. Kane runs into a boot but Kane with a side slam and both men are down. Cena tags in and hits the two shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena drop kicks Show and that allows Jericho to try for the Walls of Jericho but Cena escapes and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment.

Show pulls Cena out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell.

Winners: Kane and John Cena

After the match, Show attacks Cena on the floor and he clotheslines Kane on the floor. Show gets a few ladders from under the ring. Show hits Jericho and Kane with the ladder. Show puts Jericho inside the ladder and drops the other end on him. Show pushes the ladder onto Jericho. Cena hits Show with a ladder and after the third shot, he sends Show over the top rope to the floor.

In case you missed the marriage proposal heard round the world and the second marriage proposal heard round the world, we have a recap.

We go to commercial.

We are back and CM Punk is getting ready for his match and Eve walks by and wishes him luck. Punk says that he hopes Eve has fun getting the spray tan off.

Eve says that she wasn’t thinking about the match. She mentions that AJ might not help him out on Sunday if he doesn’t say I do to her proposal. Maybe Punk feels overshadowed by The Rock, John Cena, Triple H, and Brock Lesnar. She suggests that is a bit emasculating.

Santino continues his search for the Crystal Skull. Santino grabs a phone and it is Khali’s. Santino interrogates Khali and Khali confuses Santino.

Match Number Five: Sin Cara versus Heath Slater in a Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

Cara with kicks. Cara tries for a handspring back elbow but Slater with a cutter for a near fall. Slater punches Cara and slams him. Slater with elbows to the chest. Slater with a reverse chin lock. Slater with a wrist lock but Cara with a double jump arm drag and then he goes to the floor and he kicks Slater. Cara with a springboard cross body and then he hits La Mistica for the three count.

Winner: Sin Cara

After the match, Slater gets on the mic and he says that this is not fair. He says that he is a future champion. He says that he will prove it. Slater demands any former champion in the back and he will beat him. He doesn’t care who it is.

Bob Backlund comes to the ring.

Backlund offers his hand and Slater kicks him and then he punches Backlund. Backlund with the crossface chicken wing and Slater taps but who cares because there is no referee.

Michael Cole interrupts Backlund’s celebration and he shows us the results for the poll on Looks like we have a match.

Cole says that the people are hypocrites for not wanting to see him wrestle and then he is put into a match. Cole complains as we go to commercial.

We are back and Josh Mathews and Booker T take the place of the men who are in the ring.

Match Number Six: Michael Cole versus Jerry Lawler

Cole goes to the floor but Booker returns Cole into the ring. Lawler with an airplane spin and he gets the three count.

Winner: Jerry Lawler

It is ding dong time and Josh says that due to interference by Booker T, the decision is reversed and Michael Cole is the winner.

Santino Marella makes his way to the ring because he is having his Columbo moment. He says that he has searched every square inch of the arena. If the Raw General Manager is here tonight, there is only one place that he or she could be. . . under the ring.

There is a ding dong and Josh says that the General Manager is not under the ring and no one is under the ring. Santino is pulled under the ring by something and Jerry pulls Santino out to reveal that Hornswoggle was the Raw GM.

Hornswoggle attacks Lawler and Santino and then he goes after Cole before leaving the ring.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: The Battle Royal to determine Smackdown’s General Manager.

Match Number Seven: Eve Torres and Daniel Bryan versus AJ Lee and CM Punk

The men start things off and they exchange punches and forearms until Punk gets the advantage. Punk with knees but Bryan with a European uppercut. Punk with a back body drop and Bryan gets a boot up when Punk charges into the corner. Bryan with a knee into the corner and Kicks of Yes. Punk with a drop kick and AJ tags in.

Eve with a kick to AJ and a forearm to the back. AJ with a spear and punches. Eve with forearms and a kick. AJ with a knee and punch. Eve with a back heel kick but Eve with a kick and a spear. Eve wit ha knee to the midsection and she sends AJ to the mat. Eve sets for the flip leg drop but AJ gets her knees up.

AJ with forearms and a kick to the leg followed by a drop kick. AJ with a clothesline into the corner followed by a back heel kick for a near fall. AJ keeps Eve from making the tag. Eve kicks AJ away and then Bryan refuses to make the tag and he goes to the floor.

AJ with a rollup for the three count while Eve is confused by Bryan’s actions.

Winners: AJ Lee and CM Punk

After the match, Bryan says that he proved that she is more important than any match. Bryan suggests that they leave and go get married. Bryan does the chivalrous thing and holds the ropes open for AJ.

Punk tells AJ that he is not going to blatantly use her and lie to her to keep the title. Bryan says that he wants to marry her, but not for her. It is to help him become the WWE Champion. Punk says that he doesn’t care if what he says is going to cost him the match at Money in the Bank or his WWE Championship. Punk says that he will not marry her.

If that hurts AJ, Punk says that he is sorry. He is honest enough to tell her the truth.

AJ walks to Punk and she looks like she is going to cry but instead she slaps Punk in the face.

Bryan smiles and he tells AJ to come home. AJ goes to Bryan and she slaps him as well. Bryan can’t believe that AJ did that.

AJ starts Yesing as we go to credits.

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