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By Richard Trionfo on 2010-01-25 23:05:14
We are live from Columbus, Ohio and your announcers are Michael ‘Greg Oden or Maurice Clarett’ Cole and Jerry ‘I can see Jacob’s Field from my hotel window’ Lawler.

We are reminded of our guest hosts, but forget that, we have Degeneration X coming to the ring.

We see highlights from last week’s ‘I’m in the Royal Rumble Match’ moment when Hunter revealed that he is in the Rumble match.

Shawn and Hunter have mics and Hunter asks if they are ready. He really wants to know if they are rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrready but the crowd says it first. Hunter also wants to know where the leprechaun is but Shawn says that he sent Hornswoggle home. Hunter wants to know if they have to go over this again. Shawn wants Hunter to understand the position that he is in. Shawn says that if he wins the Rumble, he has a guaranteed shot at the Undertaker. He asks Hunter to look at it from his position. Shawn says that he wants his shot to end the streak. Shawn asks if that is too much to ask. Hunter tells Shawn that it is too much to ask. Hunter says that it is the Royal Rumble and it is serious. Over the last six months, they have been telling jokes and having fun. Now it is Rumble time. It is about getting a shot at the championship and getting in the main event at Wrestlemania. Hunter says that if it isn’t their goal, they shouldn’t be in the business. Hunter says that he knows that Shawn wants to face Taker. Hunter says that they can go to the Rumble and throw 28 others out and do it pretty easily. Then it would come down to the two of them and Hunter tells Shawn that they are friends and will always be friends. Hunter says that if he has to step on Shawn’s dream to get to his, he will do it. Shawn says that he understands Hunter.

Match Number One: Degeneration X versus Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes in a Non Title Match

Cody and Hunter start things off and they lock up and Cody with punches and kicks. Hunter with punches to Cody in the corner. Cody misses a drop kick and then he tries for a Pedigree but Ted pulls Cody out of the ring.

We go to commercial and we are told that there is breaking news about the guest hosts (something that you knew if you read the site earlier today).

We are back Cody and Hunter are down . . . and so is James Roday. Shawn Michaels tags in and he punches Cody. Shawn with a flying forearm and a kip up followed by a reverse atomic drop and chop. Shawn with another reverse atomic drop and chop. Michaels knocks Ted off the apron and then Shawn with a slam and he goes up top for the elbow drop but Ted tries to stop him. Shawn punches Ted and then Cody rolls to the floor. Shawn with a cross body onto Ted and Cody. Shawn rolls Cody back into the ring and he punches Ted on the floor. Ted tries to pull Shawn off the apron but he delays Shawn enough to allow Cody to hit a swinging neckbreaker on Shawn. Ted tags in and he punches and kicks Shawn. The referee pulls Ted out of the corner. Cody tags back in and they punch Shawn in the midsection. Cody punches Shawn and gets a near fall. Cody stomps on Shawn and connects with a knee drop for a near fall. Ted tags in and he hits a drop kick on Michaels and gets a near fall.

Ted punches Shawn and then snap mares Michaels followed by a kick to the head for a near fall. Ted argues with the referee about the speed of the count. Cody tags in and he punches Shawn and then he taunts Michaels as he keeps Shawn from making the tag. Rhodes with a side Russian leg sweep for a near fall. Cody with a front face lock and Shawn tries to get to the corner but Cody punches Hunter. Shawn with a back body drop and both men are down and Shawn is almost to his corner. Hunter is not on the apron. Ted tags in and he tries for Dream Street but Shawn with an arm drag. Shawn with an okey dokey kick and Hunter is tagged in. Hunter with the Harley Race knee followed by the face buster. Hunter with a spinebuster to Cody and then one to Ted and it is time to pose. Hunter kicks Cody and tries to pedigree him but Shawn tags in. Cody pushes Hunter into Michaels and they bump heads. Hunter and Shawn continue to stare each other down. Shawn with Sweet Chin Music to Ted and then Hunter punches Cody to allow Shawn to get the three count.
Winners: Degeneration X

After the match, Hunter and Shawn shake hands.

We are reminded that Shawn and Hunter will be facing the founder and vice president of the Straight Edge Society, CM Punk and Luke Gallows.

It is time to take a look at the season premiere of Psych featuring John Cena in a guest starring role. It is also a reunion between Marine co-star Robert Patrick.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Big Show punching MVP last week on Raw.

Montel Vontavious Porter has something to say before his match. He wants to say something to the Miz. He reminds Miz that Miz is the United States Champion. Porter says that he is the number one contender. He says that Miz can hide behind the guest hosts, his new 500 pound protector but he cannot run away. He will have to face him and defend the title. Porter says that he will become a three time United States Champion.

The Miz comes out and he says that he doesn’t even know what straight up ballin’ is and wonders if it is a reference to Porter’s time behind bars. Miz says that everyone accepts MVP even though he has been in jail but the same people cannot stand him and treat him like an outcast. Miz points out that he was a star on multiple reality shows and was a bigger star than anyone while MVP was taking mug shots and license plates.

Porter says that everyone dislikes Miz because he is a jackass. Porter says that Miz is not a ‘baller’ and will never be a ‘baller’. Porter says that Miz would be very popular if he was in jail and would have a lot of friends fighting to be his ‘exclusive friend’. Porter suggests that is the type of friendship that Miz has with Big Show.

Miz says that he would like nothing more than give Porter his title match right now. Porter suggests that Miz do that right now. Miz says that he has a friend who wants to make a statement about the Royal Rumble match. Miz says that he will enjoy still being the United States Champion.

Match Number Two: Montel Vontavious Porter versus Big Show

Show misses a punch and Porter connects with a few punches. Show with a head butt and a punch to the midsection. Show with another head butt and then he chokes Porter in the corner before connecting with a chop. Show misses a charge into the corner and Porter with a facebuster that staggers Show and then he connects with a running boot in the corner. Porter charges into Show’s hand and Show hits a choke slam for the three count.
Winner: Big Show

After the match, Miz comes to the ring and he stands over Porter with the United States Title and holds it over Porter.

We are told that there is more breaking news and it relates to Bret Hart. We will find out later tonight.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes are in the locker room and there is some heavy breathing. Cody says that he shouldn’t have questioned Ted about his loyalty last week and then he thanks Ted for taking the kick. Randy Orton enters and he talks about the tension in Legacy. Randy points out that they are on the same page for a while, but then Cody and Ted lose to DX. Randy talks about being jumped last week by Sheamus and his back up was nowhere to be found. Randy says that he has been waiting a long time for a shot at the title. Orton reminds Ted and Cody that only one man can win. Randy says that he will become the WWE Champion again and he will do it with or without Cody and Ted.

John Cena is in the guest host office with Dule Hill. They talk about the season premiere of Psych and John wants to know where James Roday is. Dule mentions that James had an emergency appendectomy. Cena tells Dule that it is his show tonight and he tells Dule to make it his night. Dule says that he is ready.

There is a knock on the door and it is the Miz. The Miz is shocked that Psych is wasting their time with John Cena when they could have the Miz. Miz tells Dule not to patronize him because he says that he is more famous than Dule or his hospitalized co-star.

Dule tells Miz that he has a match tonight and then he leaves before telling Miz who his opponent is.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Maryse is on the mics. She giggle and then she say the other Diva with their little championship dreams, they are wasting their time. She starts to talk in French but it is interrupted by Dule Hill messing with the pyro. Maryse does not appreciate being interrupted. Dule apologizes and tells Maryse to continue. Maryse does not accept the apology and then she returns to the French.

Match Number Three: Maryse versus Eve in a Divas Tournament Semifinal match

They lock up and Maryse with a forearm but Eve with punches and kicks. Maryse with a punch but Eve with her unique drop kick for a near fall. Maryse with a forearm but Eve with a kick and then she sends Maryse to the mat by the hair. Eve with a flip senton for a near fall. Eve with a clothesline into the corner followed by a slam. Eve goes up top but she misses a moonsault when Maryse rolls out of the way. Maryse sets for the DDT but Eve with a Northern Lights suplex for a near fall. Maryse holds on to the ropes and Maryse with a kick and a DDT for the not so PG cover and the three count.
Winner: Maryse

After the match, Maryse has to do two poses because her hair was not in the proper position.

Vince McMahon is walking in the back and we go to commercial.

We are back and did you know that a lot of people go to

It is time for Vince McMahon to come to the ring as only Vince McMahon can.

We see footage from last week when Undertaker told Vince to let it go about the Montreal Screw Job and called Vince a coward.

Vince says that if the Undertaker was here tonight, he would have Taker come to the ring and he would dare Taker to call him a coward tonight. Vince says that his son-in-law told him that if he doesn’t bring back Bret, the fans might consider Vince to be a coward. Vince says that there isn’t a single reason to bring Bret back. Vince says that he sold Bret down the river to WCW and he was never seen or heard from again. Vince says that everyone forgot about Bret until Shawn Michaels forced him to bring Bret back. Vince rhetorically asks if there is a reason to bring Bret back. Vince asks the fans if they want Bret. Vince makes an announcement that Bret Hart will never appear again in the WWE. The crowd does not like that announcement. Vince says that he is a businessman and he does what is best for business. Vince asks them if they are businessmen like him and a bunch of billionaires. Vince says that if they think they are smarter than him, he wants one good reason why Bret should be brought back. Someone in the crowd thinks that Bret would beat Vince in the ring. Vince goes into the crowd and he asks if he is afraid of Bret. Vince wants a good reason to bring Bret back. Someone suggests that he is awesome. Vince has some more fun with the fans. Vince returns to the ring and he says that he hasn’t heard one good business reason to bring Bret back. Vince says that Bret is a part of the past. The crowd starts to chant that they want Bret. Vince says that he is concerned about the present and the future, not the past. Vince thanks everyone for their time.

John Cena’s music plays and he comes to the ring with a mission. Vince tells Cena that if he is out here to change Vince’s mind, don’t bother. Cena says that everyone knows where Vince stands. Cena says that he never had a problem with Vince until he called Bret a used up piece of gum that should be thrown away when it loses its flavor. Cena mentions the way that Vince treated Roddy Piper in Madison Square Garden. Cena and Vince insult each other’s attire for the night. Cena tells Vince that he had a lot of help from a lot of people who helped Vince become successful. Cena says that Vince considers everyone in the company a commodity who they can throw away when their time is up. Cena asks Vince if that is what he thinks of people like Shawn Michaels, Batista, the Undertaker, or him. Cena says that all Vince cares about is lining his pockets and building his ego. Cena says that Vince brought Bret back so people would remember Vince kicking Bret in the gut. Cena says that Vince is not a coward, he is pathetic. Cena tells Vince that he will invite Bret Hart to Raw next week. Cena says that Bret deserves a chance to confront Vince face-to-face. Cena tells Vince that if Bret is not invited, Vince has proved to everyone that they are just a commodity to line his pockets. Cena then mentions Vince’s 90th birthday when Cena says that he will find Vince and he will pick Vince up out of his wheelchair and knock his false teeth out of his mouth. Cena tells Vince to do the right thing.

Cena leaves the ring and Vince tells him to stop on the ramp. Vince says that he will invite Bret to come back next week. He says that Bret can come in the ring and Vince says that he won’t flinch. Vince tells Cena that he will have a match tonight. He will face the man who has humbled Cena and took his title away from him. He will face Sheamus.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Four: The Miz versus Kofi Kingston in a Non Title Match

Kofi with a waist lock and Miz with a standing switch but Kofi with a take down and Miz with a head scissors. Kofi escapes and he hits an arm drag into an arm bar. Miz with an arm bar and punches. Kofi with a cross body for a near fall and then he hits another one. Kofi tries for another cross body but Miz with a boot to the head and Miz gets a near fall. Miz with knees to the back and then he puts Kofi in a reverse chin lock. Miz sends Kofi into the mat and then he hits a running boot to the head for a near fall. Miz with more kicks to the head followed by a leg drop before returning to the reverse chin lock. Kofi with a kick to Miz but Miz with an Irish whip. Miz misses a charge into the corner and Kofi kicks Miz and then Kofi goes up top and hits Shadows over Hell. Miz with a back breaker followed by a neck breaker for a near fall.

Montel Vontavious Porter’s music plays and that distracts Miz long enough to violate Rule #2 and Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise for the three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston

After the match, Porter walks out and smirks at Miz.

Dule Hill and Carlito go into the production truck and they talk about the pyro situation earlier. Carlito tells Dule that he should have stopped by to talk to him. Carlito says that he dressed up like Napoleon Dynamite last week. We see a graphic for Carlito and it is time for Carlito to be put into a match. Carlito will be facing Kelly Kelly. Carlito’s hesitation at wrestling has turned into a good situation for Carlito. Carlito says that he has to get ready for his match.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Carlito versus Kelly Kelly in a Random Generator Guest Host’s Selection Match

Before Kelly comes to the ring, the official comic relief of the guest host segments, Santino Marella comes out. He tells Kelly not to take another step because he has the Best of Raw 2009 DVD. Santino says that he looked like a fool in 2009 but he wants to be spectacular in 2010. Santino says that he is going to take Kelly’s place in the match and win a spot in the Royal Rumble, which he will win.

Jack Swagger attacks Santino from behind and he punches Santino. Swagger throws Santino over the top rope to the floor. Swagger with a front face lock and then he drives Santino into the ring post. Swagger does push ups in front of a motionless Santino and then Swagger pounds on his chest before heading to the back.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we have a video package for the Royal Rumble match which allows the first person to get to point at the Wrestlemania sign. We are reminded that the 2002 Royal Rumble was in Atlanta and that Triple H won that year.

Lawler and Cole talk about the Royal Rumble and we run through the rest of the card.

Cena is with Dule in the back and it is time to talk about Psych again. Cena wants to talk about his match against Sheamus. We see a photo of James Roday and he is on the phone. James says that he wishes he was in the building tonight. James makes some jokes about Sheamus’ appearance.

Alicia walks in and she asks Dule if he is a psychic. James says that he is the psychic and he is hung up on. Dule says that he sees a fox victorious in the ring and he says that he will be at ringside with her. Alicia says that if Dule is wrong . . . then she walks away. Cena brings up some suggestions and then says that Mark Henry will remove Dule’s appendix the hard way.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Dule Hill is at the announce table and he talks about his job tonight and Cole comments on his performance.

Match Number Five: Gail Kim versus Alicia Fox in a Divas Tournament Semifinal Match

They lock up and Alicia with a side head lock take down. Alicia with a shoulder tackle but Gail with a monkey flip. Gail with a reverse rana and Alicia makes it to the apron. Gail brings Alicia back into the ring and connects with forearms. Alicia runs Gail into the turnbuckles and then Alicia with a vintage tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall. Alicia with a hard Irish whip and then she misses a boot in the corner and Gail with a power slam for a near fall. Alicia with an inside cradle for a near fall. Gail with a kick and forearm to Alicia. Gail with a shoulder breaker for the three count.
Winner: Gail Kim

After the match, Alicia is not happy with the result and she stares and Michael Cole and wants to know what happened to her victory. Dule says that he is an actor and then he says that he is the friend of the psychic on the show. Alicia slaps Dule and Dule goes down and he goes down hard.

Sheamus is walking in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and even though Vince said it earlier, we have confirmation from Michael Cole that Bret Hart will be on Raw. Jerry Lawler lets us know that William Shatner will be the guest host next week.

Match Number Six: Sheamus versus John Cena in a Non Title Match

They lock up and Sheamus backs Cena into the turnbuckles and then Sheamus with a clean break and he celebrates that clean break. Cena with a waist lock and he takes Sheamus into the corner and Cena breaks and he celebrates. Sheamus misses a punch and Cena punches him. Cena with an Irish whip and a bulldog for a near fall. Cena with an Irish whip but he runs into an elbow and a clothesline from Sheamus. Sheamus with a knee to the back of the head and then he punches and kicks Cena in the corner. The referee warns Sheamus. Cena with an Irish whip and a fisherman suplex for a near fall. Sheamus with a clothesline and then he suplexes Cena and he gets a near fall. Sheamus with punches to Cena’s head. Sheamus with a hard Irish whip and Sheamus raises his arm in front of Cena and then gets a near fall. Cena rolls to the apron and Sheamus chokes Cena with his boot. Sheamus with a knee lift as Cena tries to return to the ring and Cena goes to the floor.

Cena tries to get back into the ring and Sheamus misses a knee lift. Cena tries for Attitude Adjustment but Sheamus counters with a DDT and a near fall. Sheamus with a power slam and a near fall. Sheamus with an arm bar and cross face. Cena powers out of the hold and he takes Sheamus down with a drop toe hold. Sheamus kicks Cena out of the ring on an STF attempt. Sheamus goes out after Cena and punches him. Sheamus Irish whips Cena into the ring steps. The referee starts his count and as the referee gets close to ten, Cena makes it in at nine and then he is down in the ring. Sheamus misses an elbow drop. Cena gets out of a slam attempt and Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena cannot get Sheamus up and Sheamus with a back breaker for a near fall. Sheamus waits for Cena to get up but he misses the bicycle kick and Cena with a drop toe hold and STF but Sheamus gets to the ropes.

Cena goes out after Sheamus and Sheamus with the bicycle kick. While the referee makes the count, Randy Orton comes to the ring and hits the RKO on Sheamus, who was not looking. The referee calls for the bell.

No Contest

After the match, Orton does his RKO push ups as he waits for Sheamus to get up and then he stares into Sheamus’ soul. Cena almost gets back into the ring and he is in IEDDT position and Orton takes too long and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Randy Orton.

We go to credits with the two men in the WWE Title match on the mat while Cena stands in the ring.

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