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WWE RAW REPORT: RONDA'S MATCH AT WRESTLEMANIA IS SET, THE FREE AGENT IS HERE, GOLDUST MAKES A STATEMENT, HEYMAN MAKES A STATEMENT, MIZ KNOWS HIS OPPONENT, AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2018-03-05 23:08:00

We are back and Elias is on the stage with a piano.  He says he is the living among the dead.  Everything he does and everything he says.  He has a question for everyone and wants to know who wants to walk with Elias.  He says he loves symphonies.  They are classy and sophisticated.  The opposite of this scumbag town.  He says that he has mastered many instruments and he is not a one trick pony like Braun Strowman. 

Elias plays the drums.  Braun may be a Monster among men, but he is living in Elias' world.  Braun will find out that WWE stands for Walk with Elias.

Elias says he has a song for Braun and it will be the last one before you walk with Elias.

Elias demands a proper introduction.

The lights go out and then back on but he is not in the ring.  Elias runs to the back.  Elias leaves the arena and goes into the garage.

Elias starts his car but it does not move when he puts it in reverse.  

Elias looks in the rear view mirror and Braun is stopping the car.  Braun says he is not finished with him.

Elias runs back into the arena and Braun follows.

Match Number Five:  Elias versus Braun Strowman in a Symphony of Destruction Falls Count Anywhere Match

Elias comes through the entrance and so does Braun so the match starts.  Braun kicks Elias and sends him into the apron.  They return to the ring.  Elias grabs his stool but Braun with a forearm to the back.  Braun biels Elias across the ring and hits a splash into the corner.  Braun with a forearm across the chest.  Braun gets Elias up but Elias escapes and Elias clips Braun a few times.  Elias hits Braun in the back with a guitar.  Elias with punches and a running hip to the head.

Elias goes up top and hits an elbow drop for a near fall.  Elias goes for Drift Away but Braun with a punch and Elias goes to the floor.  Elias tries to crawl away but Braun kicks him in the ribs.  Braun drags Elias to the announce table and Braun does some redecorating.  Braun picks up Elias but Elias rakes the eyes.  Braun sends Elias into the matrix board and then into some guitars on the stage.  Braun with a double sledge to the back.  Braun sees the bass and picks it up and hits Elias in the back with it.  Braun puts Elias under the piano.

Braun decides to take some time to play the piano.  Braun picks up the piano and drops it on Elias.  Braun picks up the piano and pushes it away to get the three count.

Winner:  Braun Strowman

Elias is put on a stretcher after what happened to him.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we are told about the April 27th show in Saudi Arabia with a 50 man Royal Rumble match.

Match Number Six:  Rhyno (with Heath Slater) versus Bray Wyatt

Bray attacks Rhyno as the bell rings but Wyatt with a kick and clothesline.  Bray leans and looks at Slater from the apron.  Wyatt hits Sister Abigail for the three count.

Winner:  Bray Wyatt

After the match, Slater tries to go get Rhyno but Wyatt lays on top of Rhyno and Slater leaves the ring.

Bray tells Matt to come out and show his face.  He calls him a coward.  Bray says the Great War is far from over.

Matt appears on the TitanTron and he conquers that the Great War is not over.  It cannot happen within the WWE.  There is only one battlefield that can handle this cosmic combat, the Hardy Compound.

Matt says that the battleground has been set for annihilation and he tells Bray to prepare for Final Deletion.

Miz walks in the back with Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas as we go to commercial.

We are back and Miz is in the ring with Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas and it is time for the Mizzies, even though the crowd says it is MizTV.

Miz says the Mizzies honor the greatest in WWE.  They honor true greatness, not movies that no one saw before.  The real Darkest Hour is that The Shape of Water won over The Marine 5.  Get Out?  That is what Kurt Angle should do as General Manager of Raw.  Three Billboards outside Ebbing Missouri should be Three Billboards outside New Orleans with this face.

It is time for the first award.  The Superstar that is the best at patting themselves on the back.  The nominees are Seth Rollins, Kurt Angle, and Finn Balor.  The winners are Seth Rollins and Finn Balor.  Miz says they will not be able to accept their awards because they were not invited.

The next Mizzie is Best Decision by a Raw General Manager.  The nominees are Kurt Angle for bringing his bastard son to Raw, Kurt Angle for letting Finn Balor and Seth Rollins into the Elimination Chamber Match, or Kurt Angle for not naming an opponent for The Intercontinental Champion at Wrestlemania.  The winner is Kurt Angle.  Kurt cannot accept the award because he was too busy sucking up to Ronda Rousey.  Having a Mizzie on your resume is good for you when you do not have a job after Wrestlemania.

Miz says it is time for a LIfetime Achievement Mizzie.  It goes to the workhorse of the WWE.  The man who will be in the main event wherever he is on the card.

Seth Rollins interrupts the announcement and he makes his way to the stage. 

Seth says he was enjoying the Mizzies, but the people of Milwaukee were begging to play him off since he was dragging.

Finn Balor's music plays and he comes out next to Seth and asks if he is done.

Seth says this is two weeks in a row and he asks if he is following him.

Finn says he is out to do one better than Seth.

Miz says that neither of you deserve a title match against him.  Whether it is lasting 65 minutes or having a great performance in the Elimination Chamber because you lose.  The only person who does it better than you is Finn Balor because he held the Universal Title for one day.  You can talk about how over you are, but this is not Japan.  To be over, you need more than a hand sign that isn't even yours. 

You two think you are so special because you beat him in a two on one handicap match.  Why not do something big tonight.  Miz says that he challenges them to face him, Curtis, and Bo.

Seth says if that is what it takes to shut him up, then he is on.

Match Number Seven:  Miz, Curtis Axel, and Bo Dallas, versus Seth Rollins and Finn Balor

Balor and Axel start things off and Balor with a snap mare into an arm bar.  Axel with punches and a sunset flip but Balor rolls through and hits a drop kick for a near fall.  Balor with an arm bar.  Seth applauds Balor and asks to be tagged in and he hits a double sledge from the turnbuckles.  Axel with a kick and he sends Rollins into the turnbuckles.  Bo tags in and Rollins kicks Axel and sends him to the floor.  Rollins with a drop kick to Dallas.  Bo hits Rollins from behind and tags in Miz.  MIz kicks Rollins and follows with a boot to the head and he gets a near fall.    Miz sends Rollins into the turnbuckles and tags in Axel who hits a leap frog neck snap for a near fall.

Axel with an arm bar and chin lock.  Axel with a drop kick and he tags in Bo who punches Rollins and connects with an elbow to the head for a near fall.  Bo with a reverse chin lock.  Rollins punches Dallas and chops him.  Rollins with a boot and he tags in Balor.  Balor punches Dallas and then hits a double stomp after a double leg take down.  Balor with a chop followed by an Irish whip and chop.  Balor floats over but Bo with a boot.  Balor with an enzuigiri and then he sees Miz trying to interfere.  Balor avoids Axel, but Dallas with a clothesline on the floor as we go to commercial.

We are back and Axel with a forearm but Balor with a Pele Kick.  Rollins and Miz tag in and Rollins with a springboard clothesline and enzuigiri.  Rollins with a forearm into the corner followed by a suplex and Falcon Arrow for a near fall.  Rollins sets for a super kick and he hits a thrust kick.  Rollins deals with Axel on the apron and that allows Miz to take advantage.  Rollins gets a near fall.  Rollins with a suicide dive onto Axel and Dallas.  Rollins clotheslines Miz over the top rope to the floor.

Balor makes the tag when Rollins was getting ready for a suicide dive.  Rollins and Balor argue.  Rollins with a baseball slide to Dallas and Axel.  Balor knocks Miz off the apron and then Balor with a plancha onto Bo and Curtis.  Balor with Slingblade to Miz followed by a running drop kick.  Balor goes up top and Rollins makes the tag and hits Black Out for the three count.

Winners:  Seth Rollins and Finn Balor

After the match, Kurt Angle comes out and he tells Miz that he has a match at Wrestlemania so it is time to find out who Miz will be facing.  You will not facing Seth Rollins and you will not be facing Finn Balor.  You will be facing both of them in a Triple Threat Match.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring and he has Brock's title belt with him.  Paul says he did not seek your irrelevant opinion or your affirmation.  Paul says he is here to deliver a message on behalf of his client.  He is here to set the record straight.  He is here tonight and he gets to lay this title down in this ring because Brock Lesnar allows him to put his hands on that title.  After Brock Lesnar successfully defends that Universal title on April 8th at Wrestlemania against Roman Reigns.  If Brock chooses to defend that title at SummerSlam, he will come back on television and he will lay this title down next to the UFC title as well. 

Last week, Roman Reigns had a lot to say about Brock Lesnar.  He criticized Brock's schedule.  Paul asks Roman what was the biggest victory of your career?  It was when you beat the Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania.  He says that Roman is one of two to beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania.  Did anyone complain about the victory meaning something since Undertaker only wrestled once that year.  They did not because that is bulls***.  The Undertaker is the Undertaker 365 days a year, so props to you.  Brock Lesnar is Brock Lesnar 365 days a year.  You are not beating Brock Lesnar.

If Roman Reigns does not like what Paul is saying, Roman Reigns can do something about it next week when he brings out Brock Lesnar.  Afa Wrestlemania, you can Sika new one because this one belongs to Brock Lesnar.

Last week, Roman Reigns called Brock Lesnar a bitch.  Paul says the title belt is Brock's bitch.  She belongs to Brock Lesnar.  Roman Reigns, you are eyeballing Brock's bitch and you can't have her.  Roman Reigns, you want to be Universal Champion because your family's bloodline runs through this business.  When you are Universal Champion, this is your bloodline and this bloodline is yours to keep.  You will have to take the title out of Brock's hot, competitive fingers.  Brock has always wanted to be numbers one.  That is not a belt, that is not a strap, that is not a prop.  This is proof that you are number one.  Proof that you are better than everyone else.  It is proof to show your children that you are the top of the card.  You are the number one on the face of this planet and everywhere in the universe.  It is not how bad you want the title, it is how bad the title wants you.

Here is the sacrifice you have to make.  On the Saturday night before Wrestlemania and you get a call that you have to go home because something bad happened to your father.  You have to defend the title and then you cannot fly home on a red eye because you need to be on Raw.  If you are not needed on Smackdown, then you can go home to be with your family.  If you want to be Universal Champion, this title needs you more.  You are that title and that title is everything you are.

Next week on Raw, his client will be here and you can say whatever you want to his face.  You have learned that you don't want to shoot on the mic with Paul Heyman and you don't want to shoot in the ring with the current, reigning Undisputed Champion, Brock Lesnar.

Roman Reigns' music plays and he shows up on the stage.  He makes his way to the ring and he gets in Paul's face. 

Roman says this is what he is talking about.  He said a lot of things last week.  Some were harsh but they were true.  He thought Brock would show up, but he sends Paul for his rebuttal.  He says that Brock really is a bitch.  Roman asks for Brock to show up.  They aren't asking for much.  They are asking that their champion shows up for work.  They don't want Brock to just show up, they want him to want to be here. 

Roman says if Brock is going to be in Detroit, Roman says he will be there too.  He says that Brock can say whatever he wants to his face but he better not be dressed for a promo segment.  He better be dressed for a fight.

We go to credits.

 

 


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