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By Bill Bodkin on 2017-04-01 18:55:00

Bullrope Match: Jay Lethal vs. “The American Nightmare” Cody

We recap Cody vs. Lethal at Best in the World.  Then Lethal getting involved in Cody’s match with Steve Corino.  We also see the promos leading up to match including Rhodes introducing the Texas Bullrope Match stipulation…with the cowbell from the Dusty Rhodes/Billy Graham match from 40 years ago.

Lethal comes out in a cowboy hat, white t-shirt that says “The Franchise of ROH,” jeans and cowboy boots.

Cody’s music hits and he can’t be seen at all. The crowd goes nuts because he supposedly rode in on a motorcycle that’ll be raffled off for a children’s charity later tonight. Pretty awesome.  He has a shirt that says “Lethal Sucks Eggs.”

Cody ducks out the ring before his wrist is attached. Todd Sinclair finally hooks them up. 

The two go for the bell. Lethal gets it. They clean break. Cody gains advantage with a kick to the gut Lethal gets advantage in the same fashion. Lethal chokes Cody briefly, and they exchange blows. Cody is able to whip Jay into the corner then measures him with an elbow to the head. Cody stopes a mud hole into Lethal, then poses and gets boo-ed. Lethal is able to crotch Cody and then flip him with the rope. Lethal does a cartwheel into a dropkick then pins Cody. 

Lethal lights Cody up with chops, and rips Cody’s shirt off. Lethal throws the shirt out of the ring. He stomps on Cody, then drives his heel into Cody’s throat. Lethal nails a clotheslines, and is in complete control of the match. Sadly, the crowd is deader than dead right now.

Cody brings them to life with his Goldust-esque falling punch. Cody stands over Lethal and brings some punches to Lethal’s temple. He “too sweets” the crowd. He whips Lethal into the corner but eats a boot. Lethal grabs the grab as someone yells “WE NEED MORE COWBELL!” That was funny. 

They’re on the outside and Lethal rings Cody’s clock with the cowbell. Lethal rolls in and out of the ring and uses his leverage to pull Cody into the ringpost. Lethal rings the bell and asks Cody if this is what he wants? 

Cody is now busted open! The crowd loves it. Lethal hits him with the bell again, and then GORES Cody in the head with the bell. They’re on the apron and Jay ties Cody to the top rope. He then GORES Cody again. Jay wipes Cody’s blood on his t-shirt. Cody tries to springboard in, but Lethal pulls him down.

Jay opens a chair and lays Cody across it. Cody pulls Jay off the top rope and Jay goes face first into the chair. Cody begins the Rhodes family left jab combo. He goes for the elbow, but his taunts cost him and he eats a kick. Lethal goes for his handspring back elbow off the rope, but Cody pulls the rope, and Lethal SPIKES on his head. He’s super hurt. The crowd is coming alive. Cody goes for a Figure Four but Lethal sends him over the top. Cody hits Jay in the ribs with the bell. 

From under the ring Cody pulls out his old facemark…but tosses it. He finds a table and opens it up. He goes for a suplex but Jay blocks.  Again…another block. Lethal hits a springboard dropkick but Cody hangs on. He hits Lethal a forearm, and hits a springboard dropkick of his own into the ring and knocks Lethal down. He stomps Lethal’s chest, and then applies a textbook Figure Four Leglock. Lethal does not realize the cowbell is by his hand! He finally grabs it and CLOCKS Cody in the dome.

Lethal points to a corner. Why? He’s not going to tap the turnbuckles. Ohhhhh yeah. He does the Macho Man finger wave as the crowd chants Black Machismo. He goes for the top rope elbow, but he gets tossed to the outside through the table! Lethal is out. Cody throws Lethal in the ring.  He taunts Lethal and kick him right in the groin. He hits the Disaster Kick followed by the Cross Rhodes. He covers Lethal for 1…2…KICK OUT!

The crowd is stunned. Cody puts Lethal on the top rope. He takes off his boot and nails him with the boot. Cody goes the superplex, but Lethal knocks him off. Lethal goes for the “Hail to the King Elbow” but Cody hits him with the bell (which NO ONE saw). Cody goes for the Beautiful Disaster but Cody pulls him off the rope and nails a Cutter. He kicks Cody in the balls, and then flips him off. He barrels into the ropes, and nails the Lethal injection.

Winner: Jay Lethal 

Post-Match: Cody picks up the rope. Lethal enters the ring. Cody looks beaten to hell. Lethal extends his hand to Cody. Cody hands Lethal the cowbell.

Cheeseburger and Will Ferrara vs. Shane Taylor and Rhett Titus vs. The Motor City Machine Guns

This un-announced tripe threat has implications for teams to move up the ranks and challenge for the ROH Tag Titles. 

Seriously, if MCMG doesn’t win the match, I will question if I’m living in an alternate reality.

Rhett Titus foregoes the Code of Honor, and shoves Burger down. Burger nips up. He gets dropped again, but the Burger gains advantage. Ferrara comes in and they double team “The Big Dawg.” Sabin comes in. He and Ferrara square off, but he taunts Will with the MCMG hand gesture. He shoulder blocks Ferrara.  The two jockey with hip tosses, and then roll around with multiple pin attempts…probably about 10 or 12.  Sabin takes Shelley in, and Shelley tosses him.  Taylor comes in but MCMG  nails him. They knock out  Rhett. Cheese goes for the Liger palm strike but its blocked and they tosses Burger out onto Ferrara. 

Sabin gets Ferrara in the corner, but Rhett tags in and attacks Ferrara. Taylor levels someone on the outside. Titus picks Ferrara up and slams him down hard. Taylor puts his sizable boot into Will’s throat. The little gig throws some punches and tries a sunset flip, but Taylor DESTROYS him with a leg drop. Ferrara fights his way out of the corner but eats a punch and dropkick from Taylor and Rhett respectively. Rhett wipes out the MCMG. Rhett tries a standing frogsplash but gets a pair of knees. Cheeseburger is tagged in and lights Rhett up with chops…but the don’t effect Rhett. Burger matrix ducks a clothesline, and hits a kick. Ferrara spikes Rhett and Burger barely hits a Flying Knee. Only two.

They wipe out MCMG. Rhett takes over. He kicks Burger in the mouth then deadlift Germans Burger. He follows up with a running boot then Taylor spikes hm. Titus hits the Big Dawg splash, but Ferrara breaks it up.  Ferrara is punching Rhett. Sabin tags in. Rhett and Taylor destroy Will. Sabin sends Will over the top. As does Taylor. MCMG look at Ferrara but Ferraers escapes and goes for a dive on Taylor, but Taylor spikes him. MCMG take EVERYONE out on the outside with dives and kicks.

MCMG gets Cheeseburger  but Burger throws Sabin into Shelley. He goes for the Liger Palm Thrust, and knocks everyone out…but Taylor. Who clocks Burger. Ferrara hits a Codebreaker. But Rhett nails an enziguiri. Rhett tries to attack MCMG. But MCMG hits their patented dream sequence. They measure Cheeseburger, hit double gut kicks, and then nail him with their finisher.

Winner: Motor City Machine Guns

Post Match: The Rebellion lay waste to everyone. Ferrara is in the ring and brow beats Cheeseburger. Ferrara is pissed as the crowd chants “Cheeseburger,”

Punishment Martinez comes out…dressed like Nakamura. He LEVELS Cheeseburger with an insane spin kick. The crowd chants NAKAMURA at him. Uhhh…he looks exactly like him!!

Frankie Kazarian vs. Punishment Martinez

Kaz slows things down with a methodical entrance. He proves me wrong by immediately hitting a dropkick and then throwing crazy fists at the big man. He hangs him up on the rope and nails a springboard leg drop. Vintage Kaz. Kaz whips Punish into the corner, and once again Martinez nails a huge spin kick. This sends Frankie to the outside. Martinez hits a MASSIVE Mike Awesome/Undertaker-esque dive over the corner taking out Frankie. 

He whips Frankie into the rails. Back in the ring Kaz punches Punish but gets cut off with a big backdrop. Martinez hits a Stinger Splash in the corner. He hits a suplex slam and follows it with a springboard centan splash. Two count only.  Frankie hits a springboard DDT and centan but only for a two-count.Martinez racks hm up, and then drives him to the mat. Martinez cockily covers, but only for a two count. 

He puts Frankie in the corner and misses the splash. Frankie hits a slingshot DDT. He does it again, this time driving him into the ring frame. The two exchange punches. He slingshots Punishment in and hits a Cutter. Punishment hulks up. Frankie kicks him then goes for multiple springboard guillotine leg drops. Punishment kicks out. 

Frankie goes to the top, and is measuring Martinez up. However, from the crowd comes out Hangman Page. Frankie nails him, but then gets the South of Heaven Chokeslam.

Winner: Punishment Martinez

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