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COMPLETE WWE FASTLANE BLOG: THE INTERNET WILL LOVE THIS ONE, STALL KEVIN STALL, LET'S FIND OUT WHO IS NEXT, CHARLOTTE AND BAYLEY ONE MORE TIME, DID BRAUN MONSTER THROUGH ROMAN? NEW DAY SCREAMS FOR ICE CREAM, CRUISERWEIGHTS BRING THE PHYSICALITY, TIME FOR THE RUSEV/MAHAL REUNION? SHOW PREPARING FOR SHAQ?, SWISS SUPERMAN VS. VASCULAR JINDER, BANKS VS. JAX, TAG TITLES ON THE LINE, SAMOA JOE MAKES WWE PPV DEBUT: WWE FAST LANE BLOG

By Mike Johnson on 2017-03-05 20:09:00

Welcome to my ongoing WWE Fast Lane blog, which will be updated all night as the PPV progresses.  Before we get into the show, I want to say thank you for your support of the site!

Due to a family event, I was not able to catch the Kickoff Show, but fear not - Richard Trionfo has complete coverage of the Kickoff show on the main page.

Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe is kicking us off.  I am excited about this one.  This is Joe's official WWE PPV.  It's pretty wild to see him finally on this stage.   Early on, it was all Joe using strikes and takedowns on Sami.  The story was that Joe was angry it took him 5 years to get here so he was beating respect into Sami.  It was all Joe early.  Zayn did a nice job of verbalizing the pain he was in.   Zayn finally scored with a clothesline to stun Joe and even nailed the Blue Thunder Bomb but Joe was able to escape.   Joe was able to bring it back under control, snapping the power slam.  Sami made a comeback but was cut off on the top.  The story was Zayn trying to fight with all his heart to overcome Joe's brute strength and size.  In the end, Zayn went for the Helluva Kick but was caught and slammed down with a Uranage and choked out.  It was very much the blueprint of a old school Samoa Joe match.  As a way to spotlight and show Joe, it was solid, maybe even good opener but not the blowaway competitive bout I was hoping this would shape up to be.

The Wrestlemania theme is "Ultimate Thrill Ride" and they had a fun commercial with the idea fans are on a roller coaster ride, seeing visions of WWE personalities.  Cool stuff.

Charly Caruso interviewed Bayley.  Bayley said that if Charlotte Flair is the star everyone says she is, she should leave Dana Brooke in the back so they can see who the better woman is.  Nia Jax showed up and said Bayley has a lot to worry about - Nia was going to destroy Sasha and then if Charlotte didn't take the belt, Nia will.  It may have been Nia's best mic work to date.   Bayley did a good job of selling she was worried.

Gallows and Anderson vs. Enzo & Big Cass is next.  I am hoping they give them time to work because the champs have been pretty badly used of late and could use that spotlight.  Enzo and Big Cass came out.  Milwaukee loved the hell out of them, which was good, because Enzo's promo was Milwaukee-centric, so it would have sucked if the fans jeered it.  It was the best Enzo promo in awhile with lots of really smart lines.  When he's in the zone, Enzo reminds me so much of Roddy Piper.  It was all Club early on with Enzo just trying to survive.  He was basically a punching bag until Anderson missed a charge, allowing Cass to make the hot tag and hit all his hot offense on Anderson.     They cleaned house and even hit the Rocket Launcher on Anderson but Gallows pulled Enzo off.  They turned up the heat as Cass went after Gallows but was sent into the barricade.  Enzo dove on Gallows and took him down but Anderson wiped him out with a great looking knee to the face.  Enzo was covered but put his foot on the ropes.  Gallows shoved it off and the champs retained.  Solid.

Mick Foley was wearing a horrible outfit.  That isn't news.  He was on the phone with Stephanie, who's plane was stuck on the tarmac.  She warned him to make sure the Universal and Women's championship matches go off without any problems.  She wanted to talk to him about Joe and Foley assumed that meant she didn't want him at ringside for Kevin Owens vs. Goldberg.  I am going to guess that really wasn't it.  She said she was going to stay on the phone with him all night but apparently got disconnected.  I am guessing the idea is Foley, without her interference, allows things that drive Stephanie nuts and continues the push towards the end of his run as GM.

Time for Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax.  After the way they've wiped Sasha out in previous bouts, this should be where she gets some revenge.  Sasha started strong but Nia overpowered her and wiped her out with a brutal looking Beal into the corner.   Banks was worked over with submissions as the crowd rallied her.  Unfortunately, she was taken right down.   Banks was able to turn one into a front guillotine and then maneuvered into a sleeper.    Nia was groggy and nailed with a DDT, then locked in the Bank Statement.  Jax escaped and grabbed Sasha by the hair tearing her back and forth.  She nailed a big legdrop across the back.  Banks escaped a move and used a reverse rollup and scored the surprise win.  Banks get some redemption but it was obvious Jax will be looking for revenge.  It was OK in that it gave Banks her comeuppance against Jax and continues building the four way feud as Mania approaches.

 Next up is Rusev and Jinder Mahal in singles matches, facing suitable opponents picked by Mick Foley.  Nothing good can come of this, I am sure. They are supposed to decide which of them are going to wrestle, but end up brawling.  Well, they are absolutely no longer a tag team.  They end up on the outside where Rusev gets the worst of the exchange.  Cesaro's music plays and he comes out with a golden jacket that blinded half of Wisconsin. 

So, it's Cesaro vs. Jinder Mahal.  They called it a bonus match.  Sure, uh, let's go with that.  They had some decent back and forth action with Jinder working over Cesaro's back.  Despite that, he still nailed a vertical suplex.  Jinder was beaten with uppercuts.  Cesaro began nailing all his stuff.  He got the win as Rusev recovered at ringside.  The crowd had no reason to care about any of this.  Poor Cesaro.

Rusev attacked Mahal.  He wiped him out.   No one cared. 

Continued on Page 2!


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