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We start the show with a video package looking back at last week's shocking TNA World Title change, then we go to the arena as Jeff Hardy comes out to address what his brother did last week. He says he had a whole week to let everything sink in, and he was shocked when he heard what happened, and he was sick when he saw the video. He needs some answers from his brother (who he apparently hasn't spoken to since last week's show), and asks him to come out. Matt Hardy makes Jeff wait, but finally comes out, complete with new entrance music and video, and with Reby and Tyrus (carrying the baby) in tow. Jeff says he didn't ask anyone else out here, he wants to talk to Matt because this is a family issue, but Reby says she is Matt's wife and the mother of his baby. She was there for Matt when the world, and even Jeff abandoned him for playing a redneck Eval Knieval. Matt has always put everyone else first, but now it's time for him to stop giving and start taking. They don't need Jeff or anyone else anymore, and Jeff says he's not talking to his sisterbitch-in-law, and Matt tells Jeff that he better apologize. Jeff says he's talking to his brother who is acting like a bitch, and not Tyrus the big bitch who is holding the baby. Matt says Jeff's obviously not used to being in his shadow, but Matt's done what's right his entire life and he's always ended up spinning his wheels. He took Reby's advice, and it worked. He doesn't know why Jeff can't just be happy for him, because Matt is better than he's ever been, he's the World Champion, and now Jeff is the Other Hardy. Jeff can't be happy or proud after the way he won the title, and he can't understand what's going on in his head. Matt says that it's time they come to the fork in the road where the Hardys go their separate ways. Jeff can hang out with his underlings, and Matt will go on to be the greatest World Champion in the history of the industry. The crowd starts chanting for EC3, and Jeff says he has to agree with them because EC3 won his title fairly, and here he is on EC3's side. There's only one way to settle this, because he has been cleared, he's healthy, and he says Matt should make his first title defense against his own brother tonight. Reby whispers in Matt's ear, and Matt says that if Jeff wants this, he should remember that Matt loves him, but as of this moment, he wipes his hands of all guilt regardless of what happens tonight. They leave, and Reby smirks back at Jeff as they go.
We see a video package of the participants in Feast or Fired sharing their thoughts on what could happen tonight. The briefcases are hung on the poles, and it's time to GRAB THEM CAKES...I mean, CASES!
Feast Or Fired: James Storm vs Bobby Roode vs Grado vs Drew Galloway vs Rockstar Spud vs Sgt. Chris Melendez vs Eric Young vs Robbie E vs Bram vs Jessie Godderz vs Eli Drake vs Aiden O'Shea
Gradio tries to shake everyone's hand, but O'Shea drills him with a right hand and the action gets underway. Robbie backdrops Jessie to the floor, then takes him out with a dive orr the top rope to the floor. Roode hits a blockbuster on Bram, then gives Spud a Roode Bomb to the floor. Grado crotches O'Shea when he tries to go up for one of the briefcases, and Grado climbs up on his back and grabs briefcase #2. Grado goes skipping to the back with briefcase in hand, and three briefcases remain as we go to commercial.
We're back, and Galloway is a house of fire, clearing out the ring and going up for one of the briefcases before Eli Drake stops him. Eli tries to climb up over Drew as he's hung in the Tree of Woe, but Drew hits a spider suplex and grabs briefcase #1. Two down, two to go.
Young, Melendez, and Robbie all tumble off the top rope in a tower of doom, then Storm hits a top rope Frankensteiner on O'Shea. Jessie takes out both of Beer Money with a double clothesline and goes up for one of the briefcases, but Robbie grabs his ankle to stop him. Jessie asks Drake for help, but Eli instead climbs up and grabs briefcase #4.
Beer Money hit the catapult DDT on Jessie, but Young and Bram run in and take Beer Money out, then Bram hits Melendez with the implant DDT, then Young piledrives Spud. Beer Money is back in and going at it with Young and Bram, they do BEER.........MONEY, Roode hits Bram with a spinebuster, then he goes up for the last briefcase, but Young knocks him off the corner and to the floor. Storm gives Young a lungblower off the top rope, hits Bram with the Last Call, then he has an uneasy staredown with Roode. Roode finally sends Storm up while he holds O'Shea off, and Storm claims briefcase #3 to end the match.
Winners: Grado, Eli Drake, Drew Galloway, and James Storm
Kurt Angle comes in to check on Jeff after what happened last week, and Jeff says that Reby is always in Matt's ear, and the way he won that World Title isn't right. He doesn't want to fight his brother tonight, but Angle says he's doing the right thing and he has Jeff's back tonight.
We see the Feast or Fired winners backstage awaiting their fates, then we're off to the ring for...
X Division Title Match: Tigre Uno vs DJ Z vs Mandrews
They do the usual flippy dippy stuff, but Tigre is wearing a big brace on his shoulder and visibly favors it during the match. Standard "seen one, seen them all" spotfest except for the spot where Mandrews rides his skateboard down the ramp and uses the momentum to hit a flying headscissors on DJ Z. Mandrews suplexes DJ Z to the floor, and Tigre Uno hits the Wave of the Future on Mandrews to retain.
Winner: Tigre Uno
Gregory Shane Helms comes out after the match, gets a microphone, and says that TNA was defined by the X Division for years, built on its back, in fact. The X Division's return to prominence is at hand, and he's going to give Tigre Uno one week, but he wants to know if Tigre Uno is prepared to defend his title for the last time next week. Tigre nods that he is, and Helms says that his time as X Division Champion is over.
Kong is backstage telling the Dollhouse that she's not mad at them, but she wants that Knockouts Title. She wants revenge against Velvet Sky tonight, but she wants to do it alone, so the Dollhouse does, "Who's house? Kong's house!" as Kong leaves.
Kurt Angle comes up to Matt Hardy backstage and says he's tarnishing his good name, but Matt isn't tarnishing anything because he's building a brand, the Matt Hardy Brand. Angle says Matt is nothing but a selfish jerk, because he built something special as the first TNA World Champion, and Matt's brand is tearing all that down. Matt says he needs to slow down because Angle is, in theory, one of the only two guys in this company he respects and thinks is on his level. But he better not stick his neck in Matt's business, or it'll get broken.
Awesome Kong vs Velvet Sky
Velvet tries to chop Kong down with kicks to the legs, but Kong bowls right over her and sends her careening to the floor. Kong goes after Velvet outside the ring, smashing her face into the ring apron and then ramming Velvet into the ring steps. Velvet tries to regain some momentum inside the ring, rolling out of the way of a Kong splash and planting her into the mat with a DDT. Velvet hits a DDT for 2, but Kong catches Velvet on a crossbody attempt and hits the splash on the second try. She pulls Velvet up at 2, hits the implant buster, and that's all she wrote.
Winner: Awesome Kong
Dominant performance by Kong, who continues attacking Velvet after the ring. Madison Rayne runs in to try and help, but the Dollhouse runs out and attacks Madison. Jade plants Madison with a cradle piledriver, then hold her and make her watch as Kong comes off the second rope with a splash to Velvet.
The Wolves are backstage, and Davey says they're the greatest tag team in the world today, but their belts are missing after what happened with Crazzy Steve last week. Eddie says that men don't attack men from behind, so they asked for a match and are going to wait for Steve and whoever his partner is in the ring, and they better bring the belts. Gee, I wonder who it's going to be.
We hit the dramatic music as the Feast of Fired winners join Jeremy Borash in a dimly-lit room for the big reveal. We'll find out who got what after this commercial break.
Okay, it's the big moment. Jeremy reiterates that they're the recipients of the Feast or Fired briefcases, runs down what's in each of the briefcases, and then Mike Bennett and Maria interrupt to say that one of the guys in here needs a Miracle. But when you're the Miracle, you don't have to take chances on a briefcase because life just comes easier, it always has, and it always will, so he's going to just sit back and watch everything unfold. Galloway gets in Bennett's face and says that at least the others in the room had the balls to put their careers on the line, and says that Bennett obviously isn't the brains in the family. Bennett says that if Drew ever insults his wife again, he's going to need a Miracle to survive. Bennett and Maria leave, and Eli opens his briefcase to reveal a King of the Mountain Title shot. We'll find out more Feast or Fired results later on tonight.
The Wolves come out to new entrance music and tell Crazzzzzzzy Steve to get out here now so they can do this. Some...woman comes out made up like a zombie and cuts a weird promo about decaying, then Crazzzzzzzzzy Steve comes out...and he has Abyss with him. BIIIIIIIIG shock. We'll see what happend after this commercial break.
The Wolves vs Crazzy Steve & Abyss
We join the match in progress, but see a recap of a brawl between the two teams that took place during the commercial break. Abyss is destroying Davey and crushes him in the corner with an avalanche as Eddie is still picking himself up and getting back on the apron. Abyss hits a splash on Davey and then chokeslams Steve on top of Davey. Steve covers for 2, but Davey gets away and makes a hot tag to Eddit, who cleans house on Steve, takes Abyss out with a dive to the floor, then comes back after Steve in the ring. Steve bites his way out of the backpack driver, the Wolves hit him with the alarm clock, and they're about to go for the double double stomp when the zombie lady appears back on the top of the ramp with the belts. Abyss hits Eddie with the Black Hole Slam, then Steve blows the red mist into Davey's face to cause a DQ.
Winners: The Wolves by DQ
The zombie lady blows green mist in Davey's face, and Steve and Zombie Lady attack Davey on the floor as Eddie suffers a chokeslam from Abyss. The new trio celebrates in the ring with the belts that still don't belong to them.
Back to Feast or Fired, where the remaining players tensely wait for the continuation of the reveal ceremony. Maybe that'll happen...after this break!
The Wolves vs Crazzy Steve & Abyss
We join the match in progress, but see a recap of a brawl between the two teams that took place during the commercial break. Abyss is destroying Davey and crushes him in the corner with an avalanche as Eddie is still picking himself up and getting back on the apron. Abyss hits a splash on Davey and then chokeslams Steve on top of Davey. Steve covers for 2, but Davey gets away and makes a hot tag to Eddit, who cleans house on Steve, takes Abyss out with a dive to the floor, then comes back after Steve in the ring. Steve bites his way out of the backpack driver, the Wolves hit him with the alarm clock, and they're about to go for the double double stomp when the zombie lady appears back on the top of the ramp with the belts. Abyss hits Eddie with the Black Hole Slam, then Steve blows the red mist into Davey's face to cause a DQ.
Winners: The Wolves by DQ
The zombie lady blows green mist in Davey's face, and Steve and Zombie Lady attack Davey on the floor as Eddie suffers a chokeslam from Abyss. The new trio celebrates in the ring with the belts that still don't belong to them.
Back to Feast or Fired, where the remaining players tensely wait for the continuation of the reveal ceremony. Maybe that'll happen...after this break!
Borash is back, and it's time for James Storm to open his briefcase. Roode tells him to have good thoughts, and Storm opens the briefcase to discover...the tag title shot! Storm and Roode do BEER...MONEY and hit the bricks. It's down to Grado and Drew for a title shot or a pink slip, and Drew says he'll look the beast in the eye and open his case...and it's the World Title shot. Grado is happy for him until he realizes that he's fired, Drew says he's sorry and leaves, and Borash says it's academic at this point, but to go ahead and open his case. Grado can't quite seem to get it open, but finally does and sees that he is, indeed, fired from Impact Wrestling. Borash says he has ten minutes to get his stuff and then security will escort him out. Grado is absolutely devastated, and breaks down crying as he says this is the worst day of his life. He slaps the case shut and storms out, and that's it for Grado in TNA.
And with that, it's...MAIN EVENT TIME!
TNA World Title Match: Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy
Jeff and "Big Money Matt" don't even make contact before Eric Young comes down to the ring to complain about Jeff not earning a title shot, which of course is him because he's the King of Wrestling. Bram runs out of the crowd and attacks Jeff from behind, and the match is over before it even starts.
Winner: Jeff Hardy by DQ
Matt and company step out to the floor to let events play out as they will. Eric sets up a table at ringside, Bram feeds Jeff to him on the apron, but Beer Money runs out to fight Young and Bram off. Jeff is down on the ring apron as Abyss and Crazzzzzzzzzy Steve run out to join the fray. Kurt Angle runs out to go after Matt Hardy before he does any more damage to Jeff, but Tyrus cracks him coming into the ring and then Matt lays Angle out with the belt. Matt and his entourage head for the back as Jeff fights for his life against Young and Bram. Jeff goes to the apron with Bram, but Young rams Jeff into the ringpost and piledrives him through the table. Well, I have a feeling we won't see HIM for 4-6 weeks.
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report here on PWInsider.com, I'll be back on Thursday to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!
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