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WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: HAPPY NEW DAY, MAKE YOUR RESBOLUTIONS FOR 2016 AS WE SAY BYE BYE TO SYFY

By Richard Trionfo on 2015-12-31 21:58:53
We start off this week’s show with a look back at what happened on Raw with Roman Reigns pushing the feeble, geriatric Vince McMahon to the mat and Vince’s subsequent arrest by the New York Police despite the security not being there in a capacity to arrest anyone. We then see the announcement that Roman Reigns defends the WWE Title against Sheamus next week on Raw and Vince McMahon is the referee.

We are in Washington, D.C. and your announcers are Jerry Lawler, Rich Brennan, and Booker T.

The New Day make their way to the ring and they have party hats and noise makers.

They mock Sin Cara’s shoulder injury.

Xavier says that New Year’s is their favorite time of year. Every day is a new day, but New Year’s Day is a special new day.

Big E says that New Year’s Eve is a time for reflection, celebration, and resolution. Big E says their first resolution is . . . NOBODY. Xavier says that it would probably be nothing, but nobody is their thing.

Xavier says their resolution is nothing because they are perfect. Look at them. They are your WWE World Tag Team Champions. Xavier says it is not them who need a resolution or need to change. It is you, the WWE Universe who needs to change.

Kofi says in 2015, they were greatness personified from the tip of their unicorn horns down to the bottom of their winged feet. Somehow, some way, they did not win the Slammy for Tag Team of the Year. In 2016, nothing is going to change unless you, the WWE Universe can learn to appreciate greatness. Y’all gonna learn today.

Big E says in effort to avoid a catastrophe like the Slammys, they have compiled a list of resolutions for all of you people, that’s right, you people.

Resolution number one . . . Each and every single member of the WWE Universe will be required to wear glasses and hearing aids, children included. You need to see all of this greatness and you need to hear all of this great great greatness.

Resolution number two . . . The WWE Universe will be required to keep a New Day Journal. They give you a smorgasbord of greatness each and every night. In order to not forget it, you are going to need to write it down. That is assuming you know how to write.

Resolution number three . . . Each morning that you wake up and arise, you should have a spring in your booty and a song in your heart. That song is . . . NEW DAY ROCKS.

The Lucha Dragons’ music plays and they make their way out to the ring.

Kalisto tells the New Day that the WWE Universe knows what they are doing. You are a cute tag team. You deserve each other. The Slammys are for the people.

Sin Cara wants them to show everyone what they can do. They challenge the New Day to a match right here and right now.

The New Day laugh and Xavier reminds Sin Cara that he is not hurt, he is injured because of what Big E did on Monday night. Is this going to be a one on three handicap match.

Kalisto says they are not alone. They have friends of their own. Since it is New Year’s Eve, let’s get this party started.

The Dudleys make their way to the ring and Bubba has a table that says “Happy New Year” on it.

Match Number One: Kalisto, Bubba Ray Dudley, and D-Von Dudley (with Sin Cara) versus Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, and Big E

Woods and D-Von start things off and they lock up. D-Von with a side head lock and wrist lock into a hammer lock and side head lock take down. D-Von gets a near fall. Woods says something to D-Von before trying to punch D-Von and he fails. D-Von with punches and a flying corkscrew back elbow. D-Von with a clothesline and slam followed by a leg drop and he gets a near fall.

Bubba tags in and they hit a double flapjack on Woods. Bubba with a wrist lock and arm wringers. Bubba continues to work on the arm. Woods with a punch and he tags in Big E. Big E with a clothesline and he does some dancing while waiting for Bubba to get up. Big E with a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Kofi tags in and he hits a thrust kick while Big E holds Bubba.

Kofi punches Bubba in the corner and adds a few kicks. Bubba with a boot when Kofi charges into the corner. Bubba with jabs and the Bubbonic Elbow. Bubba clotheslines Big E and connects with a boot to Woods. Bubba with a slam to Kofi and he tags in D-Von and Kalisto is tagged in and he hits the Wassup head butt. Bubba tells everyone to get the tables.

Kalisto is dropped on the apron by Big E while the referee is not looking and Kalisto holds his arm. Kofi sends Kalisto back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Kofi with an arm bar and he sends Kalisto into the corner. Kofi with kicks and he tags in Big E for more kicks. Woods tags in to continue the kicking. Kofi tags back in for more kicks. Big E tags in and he continues the kicking while Woods goes for the trombone. Big E Irish whips Kofi into the corner for a drop kick and it is dance time.

Kofi with a kick to the midsection and he gets a near fall. Kofi with a quarter nelson and chin lock. Kofi tries for a slam but Kalisto escapes. Kalisto with a sunset flip but Big E makes the tag and Kofi Irish whips Kalisto into a Big E clothesline and we go to commercial.

We are back and Woods with a splash to Kalisto’s back and he gets a near fall. Woods with a side head lock and Kailsto with a punch but Woods with a thrust kick and a sliding flatline for a near fall. Woods with a snap mare and then he tags in Kofi. Woods with a Sliding D and Kofi with a leaping stomp to the chest. Big E tags in and he hits the Kamala Splash for a near fall.

Big E with a knee to the midsection and then he sends Kalisto to the apron. Kalisto with a kick and then Big E goes for a spear through the ropes but Kalisto moves and Big E goes to the floor. Bubba and Woods tag in and Bubba with clotheslines and a back body drop. D-Von makes the tag and Bubba with a kick and then they hit the neck breaker and belly-to-back suplex combination. D-Von with a spinebuster to Woods and Bubba tags in and goes to the turnbuckles. Kalisto tags in and hits a splash off Bubba’s shoulders. Kalisto with a tornado DDT and then he sends Big E into the turnbuckles. Bubba and D-Von with a 3D to Big E. Kalisto with Salida Del Sol to Kofi for the three count.

Winners: Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, and Kalisto

After the match, Bubba brings the table into the ring and D-Von and Kalisto set it up in the ring. Bubba goes to the turnbuckles and he is given Woods for a power bomb through the table.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Goldust versus Tyler Breeze (with Summer Rae)

They lock up and Breeze misses a punch in the corner. Goldust with a side head lock and shoulder tackles. Goldust with arm drags and a chops. Goldust with an Irish whip but he goes for the clothesline and Breeze with a jumping round kick. Breeze drops the arm on the middle rope and then he returns to the ring and connects with an elbow and a kick to the chest. Breeze with a leg drop to the arm.

Breeze gets a near fall. Breeze with an arm bar. Goldust with punches but Breeze swipes at the injured arm. Goldust with a spinebuster. Goldust with clotheslines and then he drops down but Breeze knows what is coming so he punches Goldust first. Goldust with a power slam for a near fall. Goldust climbs the turnbuckles and punches Breeze. Goldust with a reverse atomic drop and clothesline.

Breeze rolls to the floor and Goldust grabs Breeze by the hair but Breeze sends the arm into the ring post. Goldust with a punch. Breeze sends Goldust into the turnbuckles and he gets the three count with a rollup and his feet on the ropes.

Winner: Tyler Breeze

After the match, Summer goes into the ring with the selfie stick and a mic. She says that you are too kind. As 2015 comes to an end, Tyler and her have an announcement. In what has been a year of big big announcements. The world met Caitlyn Jenner. In 2020, Kanye West will run for President. Who can forget about the dress?

What they are about to tell you is way bigger than any of those announcements. Summer says that it is a shocker.

Tyler says that to celebrate the new year, Summer Rae and himself have decided to go . . . our separate ways. He says don’t worry because they are not that cruel. They will leave you with one last Gorgeous Selfie.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we are reminded that the Rock will be at Wrestlemania 32.

Bo Dallas is in the back and he sees Curtis Axel in the hallway. He tells Curtis that he has had a terrible year but he can turn that around with the right New Year’s ResBOlution.

Curtis does not agree with Bo’s assessment of his year and he points out that he was never eliminated in the Royal Rumble. When he is not eliminated again in 2016, he will be in for two years straight. Then he will wrestle for the title at Wrestlemania 32.

Bo suggests that Curtis start low by wearing deodorant every day.

Bo gives someone in the back an autograph on their hand and he tells her not to wash her hand.

Bo keeps walking and Dolph Ziggler stops him and he tells Bo he has a ResBOlution for him. Why not stop dressing like the New Year’s Baby.

Bo says it sounds like Dolph is trying to tell a joke, but never say anything funny. He says that is a ResBOlution they can work on together.

Dolph tells Bo he should work on getting ready for his match because it is against him. Dolph starts to give Bo his catchphrase but he walks away and then he comes back and makes Bo flinch before telling him to BOLIEVE.

Match Number Three: Braun Strowman and Luke Harper (with Erick Rowan) versus Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso

Harper and Jey start things off and Harper backs Jey into the corner and he works on the arm. Harper with a punch and then Jey with a cross body and uppercut. Jimmy makes the blind tag and he punches Harper and Jey with a thrust kick. Jimmy sets to go off the ropes but Strowman gets on the apron. Jimmy with a punch to Strowman and he runs into a Bossman Slam for a near fall. Strowman tags in and he sends Jimmy into the turnbuckles and throws him to the mat.

Strowman stands over Jimmy and he kicks Jimmy in the midsection. Strowman with a slam and then he picks Jimmy up by the throat and slams him again. Strowman chokes Jimmy against the ropes. Harper tags in and he catapults Jimmy into the middle rope and he gets a near fall. Harper with a trailer hitch on Jimmy. Jimmy rolls over and he punches Harper and head butts him to get out of the hold. Jimmy cannot make the tag but Harper can.

Strowman with a kick to the head and he chokes Jimmy with his shin. Jimmy punches Strowman but Strowman with a hip toss and then he applies a nerve hold on the shoulder. Jimmy with a jaw breaker but Strowman with a clothesline. Harper tags in and gets a near fall. Harper with a reverse chin lock and he turns Jimmy away from his corner.

Jimmy with a punch and he has a kick blocked but Jimmy with a dragon whip. Strowman tags in and he sends Jimmy into the corner but Jimmy moves when Strowman goes for a shoulder in the corner. Strowman hits the ring post and Jey tags in and so does Harper. Jey with punches and a thrust kick followed by an uppercut and Samoan drop.

Jey with a running butt splash and he gets a near fall. Harper with a double thrust to the throat and Strowman makes the tag. Harper is sent over the top rope. Jimmy makes the tag and Jey with a suicide dive onto Harper. Jimmy with a super kick to Strowman but he stays on his feet. He hits a second super kick and he gives one to Rowan on the apron. Strowman blocks a super kick and he chokes Jimmy out.

Winners: Luke Harper and Braun Strowman

We are told that John Cena will be on Smackdown next week.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Four: Brie Bella and Alicia Fox versus Tamina and Naomi

Brie and Tamina start things off and they lock up. Tamina sends Brie to the mat. Brie goes for the leg and Tamina with forearms to the back and she sends Brie to the mat again. Brie with kicks to the leg and she tags in Alicia. Alicia with forearms but Tamina with a head butt. Alicia floats over in the corner and gets a near fall with a sunset flip. Alicia with drop kicks.

Tamina refuses to be Irish whipped. Alicia with a kick and she tries for a neck breaker but Tamina counters and hits a super kick. Tamina gets a near fall. Tamina with a slam and she gets a near fall. Alicia with elbows but Tamina with a head butt and then she goes for a splash but Tamina misses when Alicia moves. Naomi tags in and does does Brie.

Brie with a kick and missile drop kick. Brie with kicks to the chest. Brie misses the round kick but Naomi misses the Rear View. Naomi gets out of the way and goes against the ropes. Brie goes for the Brie Mode kick but Naomi moves and Brie kicks Tamina instead. Naomi goes for the running bulldog into the corner but Brie escapes and Brie with the X Factor for the three count.

Winners: Alicia Fox and Brie Bella

Match Number Five: Bo Dallas versus Dolph Ziggler

They lock up and Ziggler with a wrist lock. Ziggler with a cravate and he takes Bo to the mat and gets a near fall with a rollup. Ziggler with a front face lock into a rollup for a near fall. Bo with a side head lock. Bo with a shoulder tackle and he goes to the floor for the obligatory Victory Lap.

Bo returns to the ring and Ziggler greets him with a drop kick. Ziggler goes for the Stinger Splash but Bo moves and Ziggler hits the turnbuckles and Bo gets a near fall. Bo with forearms across the chest and he applies a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with an elbow and punches. Bo with a back elbow and he gets a near fall. Bo with a short back elbow and then he hits a second one. Bo misses a short arm clothesline and Ziggler gets a near fall with a rollup. Bo with a forearm to Ziggler. Bo with a belly-to-back suplex and he gets a near fall. Bo with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with elbows and Bo with a short arm clothesline.

Bo does a victory lap inside the ring this time and he misses a splash into the corner. Ziggler with a super kick for the three count.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

We go to commercial.

We are back and the New Day have New Year’s Wishes. Their New Year’s Resolution is that the Patriarch Pops becomes WWE World Champion. Kofi says that is not a New Year’s Resolution, but a New Day Resolution.

We take a look back at what happened on Raw with Roman and the McMahons, including the announcement of the WWE Title Match for next week’s Raw.

Match Number Six: Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose versus Sheamus and Kevin Owens

Reigns and Sheamus start things off and they lock up. They go around the ring until Reigns applies a hammer lock. Sheamus with an elbow and punches. Sheamus sends Reigns into the turnbuckles. Reigns with a forearm and punch to Sheamus. Sheamus with a punch and European uppercuts. Reigns gets Sheamus up for a Samoan drop but Sheamus gets to his feet. Reigns with a punch and neck breaker.

Reigns clotheslines Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Ambrose tags in and hits a suicide dive onto Sheamus. Sheamus with a shot to the midsection and Owens tags in and he connects with forearms to the back. Owens misses a short arm clothesline and Ambrose with a forearm running forearms and a forearm into the corner followed by a bulldog.

Ambrose tries for the double underhook DDT but Owens goes to the floor. Ambrose sends Owens into the announce table and then the ringside barrier. Ambrose rearranges the announce table and then he sets for a power bomb through the table but Owens runs Ambrose into apron.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Owens with a punch to Ambrose. Owens punches Ambrose and then he connects with a crossface to the side of the head and Owens with a rear chin lock. Owens with a knee to the midsection and he runs Ambrose into the corner. Sheamus tags in and he connects with a forearm to the back. Sheamus with a suplex throw to Ambrose. Sheamus works on Ambrose’s back and he applies a rear chin lock while sitting on Ambrose’s back. Ambrose with punches and a head butt. Sheamus with a knee to the midsection and then he puts Ambrose on the apron. Sheamus with forearms to the chest alternated with forearms to the back.

Sheamus gets Ambrose up for White Noise and Ambrose counters with a sunset flip for a near fall. Owens tags in and Ambrose with an elbow to Owens. Sheamus misses a shoulder in the corner and hits the ring post. Ambrose rebounds off the ropes and hits a clothesline. Both men are down.

Reigns makes the tag and Sheamus tags in as well. Reigns with clotheslines followed by a flying clothesline. Reigns with a running clothesline into the corner followed by Neverending Story. Reigns with a Samoan Drop and then he goes to the corner to set for the Superman punch. Owens distracts Reigns on the apron and Reigns punches him. Sheamus with a rollup for a near fall.

Reigns with a Superman punch and he goes back to the same corner for the spear, but Owens trips him and pulls him groin first into the ring post. The referee calls for the bell.

Winners: Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns (by disqualification)

After the match, Owens and Sheamus attack Reigns in the corner. Sheamus picks up Reigns and they send Reigns shoulder first into the ring steps. Sheamus sends Reigns over the announce table. Ambrose with a slingshot plancha onto Sheamus. Owens with a super kick to Ambrose and then Owens sets up the table for a power bomb through the announce table. Sheamus gives Ambrose to Owens. Sheamus picks up Reigns to watch but Reigns with an elbow and Reigns with a Superman punch off the table to Owens. Ambrose sends Sheamus into the post and Reigns with a spear.

We go to credits.

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