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WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT: SIX MEN IN THE RING MEANS TEDDY GIVES US A SIX MAN TAG MATCH; JOSH HAS A THEORY ON KAITLYN'S SECRET ADMIRER; DID YOU KNOW THAT WWE HAS AN APP?; AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-05-17 21:59:27
Extreme Rules is on Sunday and we have one show with a man who likes to make multi man matches out of nowhere. Who will Teddy put in a multi man tag match this week? What will the Shield do as they prepare to get their first shot at gold in WWE? What will Mark Henry do because that is what he do?

We are in Wichita, Kansas and your announcers are John ‘Wichita Lineman’ Layfield, Michael ‘The Manhattan skyline is not the same’ Cole, and Josh ‘Do I get a drinking game’ Mathews.

We begin with MizTV even though it was supposed to be the Highlight Reel. Miz is in the ring and he is dressed to talk. He says that his guests are bitter rivals and they will meet at Extreme Rules. Miz says that he wants to make tonight memorable.

Miz brings out Randy Orton and then he brings out Big Show.

Miz reminds them that in their match, anything goes. Miz brings up the issues that they have had since Wrestlemania so this match is one that people are anticipating.

We see footage from last week when Big Show knocked out Tensai in their match and then he was going to take care of Brodus Clay but Orton hits an RKO on Show.

Miz asks Big Show about the RKO and he asks if this is a preview of what is going to happen at Extreme Rules. Show says that he would expect a weasel like Miz to ask him a question like that. Orton hit that move because he came at him from behind. Orton attacked him at Mania and last week against Tensai.

There are no rules on Sunday so he can use whatever he wants to rip Orton apart. Show says that he does not need a weapon because he has one at the end of his hand. The last thing that the people will remember in St. Louis is a TKO, not an RKO.

Orton says that is a very interesting and entertaining story. There is one thing because the ending is inaccurate. Extreme Rules takes place in his home town and he is not going to let Show beat him in his home town. He won’t let Show knock him out in front of his friends and family.

Orton says that he made the mistake of trusting Show at Wrestlemania. The only thing that people will remember on Sunday is how the Viper struck down the Giant. Orton tells Show that he may not get back up.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter interrupt and Zeb says that everyone got it wrong. Sunday will be memorable but not because of Orton or Show. It is because Jack Swagger will make Alberto say I Quit, and he can say it in his native tongue. People will remember that Jack Swagger’s America becomes a reality on Sunday and he will emerge as the number one contender on Sunday. There will be thousands of Real Americans rising to their feet to say ‘We the People’.

Jack’s opponent will not be prevented from speaking and he makes his way to the ring with Ricardo Rodriguez. He tells Colter to shut up. He says that they are sick and tired of hearing Colter talk. The only thing that people will remember on Sunday is . . . Alberto Del Rio becoming the number one contender because he will make Jack say I Quit. He tells Jumanji man that he will make sure that Colter goes back to where he came from so he can never sneak into his business again.

It is time for the Curator of the Hall of Pain to make his way onto the stage because that is what he do. Mark says that people will remember Mark Henry setting world records pulling semis. People will remember him throwing, dragging, and beating Sheamus like no one has ever beaten him in his life. People will remember that he is the strongest man in the world because that is what he do.

Sheamus interjects himself into the conversation because that is what he do. Sheamus tells Lumpy that their strap match will be the most memorable especially when he leaves Mark’s carcass battered and bruised with welts and marks in the middle of the ring. Why wait until Sunday to leave a memory because we can do a preview now.

Sheamus hits the ring and he goes after Mark Henry while Del Rio and Orton take care of their opponents on Sunday night.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for Teddy Long to do what he do. He makes his way to the stage and he comments on what we just saw. Teddy says that he is ready for Extreme Rules. Tonight’s main event will see the six men we just saw in the ring. Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Alberto Del Rio will face Big Show, Mark Henry, and Jack Swagger.

Match Number One: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (with Dean Ambrose) versus Jimmy and Jey Uso

Jimmy and Rollins start things off and Rollins with a kick and forearms but Jimmy sends Seth into the corner and Jimmy with punches. Jimmy sends Seth into the corner and Jey tags in and he connects with a forearm. Jey with a boot to the head followed by a forearm. Seth with a knee and Roman tags in. Roman blocks a hip toss and hits a short arm clothesline.

Roman with boots to the chest and the referee pulls him out of the corner. Roman with an Irish whip but Jey gets his boot up and he hits a running butt splash into the corner. Jimmy with a forearm and he takes care of Rollins.

Jey with a back heel kick but he misses a savate kick and Reigns with a spear for the three count.

Winners: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns

After the match, Ambrose goes after Jey but Kofi Kingston comes to the ring and he goes after Ambrose. Rollins and Reigns take care of Kofi and they set up for the Cerberus Bomb on Jey but Kofi brings a chair into the ring and he hits Rollins and Ambrose with it.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Teddy Long is with Miz in the back and Teddy welcomes Miz back. Miz says that it felt like he never left.

Damien Sandow enters and he says that we would be better off if Miz never came back. We could bask in the glory of a host with taste and direction instead of a card carrying ignoramus who incited a riot.

Damien has a suggestion for Teddy and it is the Damien Sandow Show. In his benevolence, he will give Teddy the first opportunity to produce it.

Teddy says that he will take it under advisement, but Damien will have to show him what he can do in the ring against The Miz.

We take a look back at what Ryback did to John Cena after the six man tag match.

Match Number Two: Brodus Clay and Tensai (with Cameron and Naomi) versus Titus O’Neil and Darren Young

Darren and Clay start things off and Clay with punches to Darren followed by forearms. Tensai tags in and they hit a side slam elbow drop combination. Young goes to the floor and Tensai brings him backing. Titus with a forearm from the apron to Tensai on the floor.

Young rolls Tensai back in and Titus tags in and Titus sends Darren into the corner and Darren sends Tensai into a clothesline from Titus and Titus barks. Titus with a kick to Tensai. Titus with shoulders in the corner. Titus gets into the three point stance but he misses a shoulder tackle and hits the turnbuckles. Clay tags in and he connects with a shoulder and clothesline to Young followed by a Sheeeeplex. Clay with a splash into the corner and then he hits a power slam and gets a near fall.

Titus breaks up the cover and Tensai with a boot to Titus. Clay and Tensai make Darren Young the meat in a sandwich and it is time for the Conference Call Your Momma for the three count.

Winners: Brodus Clay and Tensai

We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind of the ‘Dance Off’

Match Number Three: Chris Jericho versus Antonio Cesaro

They lock up and they have a clean break. They lock up again and Jericho with a side head lock. Cesaro with a shoulder tackle. They lock up and Jericho with a hammer lock while we are distracted by Fandango and Summer Rae in the ‘Never Mind the Show, watch our App’ box. Jericho with a drop kick and Cesaro goes to the floor.

Cesaro takes his time getting back into the ring and Jericho with a punch to Cesaro on the apron. Cesaro with a shoulder but Jericho with forearms. Cesaro with chops and an Irish whip but he runs into a boot and Jericho with a missile drop kick and a drop kick to the back of the head. Jericho with a baseball slide to Cesaro and Antonio goes to the apron.

Cesaro with a shoulder and he wants to suplex Jericho to the floor. Jericho blocks and Jericho tries for a suplex and Cesaro blocks it. They go back and forth and Jericho with a kick to Cesaro and a springboard drop kick that sends Cesaro to the floor.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Jericho with elbows and a back slide for a near fall. Cesaro with a clothesline for a near fall. Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Cesaro forces Jericho back to the mat. Jericho with a shoulder tackle or two. Cesaro sends Jericho over the top rope but Jericho lands on the apron and he goes up top for the double sledge.

Cesaro with a chin lock but Jericho counters and tries for the Walls of Jericho but Cesaro kicks Jericho away. Jericho with a kick and Cesaro avoids the Lionsault. Cesaro leaps on to the chest and gets a near fall. Cesaro with punches to Jericho and then he slaps Jericho. Jericho floats over and hits an enzuigiri and Jericho gets a near fall.

Jericho with a kick to the midsection followed by chops. Cesaro with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker for a near fall. Cesaro waits for Jericho to get to his feet and Cesaro with a reverse chin lock and then he sets for the Gotch Style Neutralizer but Jericho counters and tries for the Walls of Jericho but Cesaro powers out of the hold.

Cesaro runs into a boot and Jericho goes up top. Cesaro plays possum and hits a European uppercut as Jericho comes off the top and Cesaro gets a near fall. Cesaro tries for the dead lift side salto but Jericho counters and applies the Walls of Jericho and Cesaro taps out.

Winner: Chris Jericho

After the match, Summer emerges from the golden shower curtain. Fandango tries to attack Jericho from behind but Jericho stops Fandango and Jericho with punches. Fandango escapes the ring and then Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cesaro.

We take a look back at the Big E Langston versus Jack Swagger match from Raw.

Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter have a pre-recorded message and they are here to talk about Extremism.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Cody Rhodes is with Michael, Josh, and John at the announce table.

Match Number Four: Miz versus Damien Sandow

They lock up and Miz with a side head lock but Sandow escapes. Miz with a side head lock take down. Sandow backs Miz into the corner and Sandow with shoulders and kicks in the corner. Sandow with an Irish whip but Miz floats over and connects with a clothesline. Miz with punches followed by an Irish whip.

Sandow with an elbow and then he stops short of a punch from Miz. Miz with a running shoulder from the apron. Miz rolls Sandow back into the ring and Sandow with a kick as Miz re-enters. Sandow with a knee drop and Cody gets on the mic and he wants everyone to stand up for Damien Sandow.

Sandow with a suplex and he hits a knee drop and gets a near fall. Sandow with a quarter nelson and chin lock but Miz with a jawbreaker. Miz with punches but Sandow with a drop toe hold and he hits a running knee to the back. Sandow with knees and then he hits a side Russian leg sweep followed by the Elbow of Disdain and he gets a near fall.

Miz with punches as he avoids Sandow’s punches. Miz with a forearm and knee lift followed by a boot to the head. Miz with the Awesome Clothesline and then he goes up top for the double sledge. Miz gets ready for the figure four leg lock but Cody gets on the apron and Miz knocks Cody off the apron. Miz escapes a belly-to-back suplex attempt and Miz applies the figure four leg lock and Sandow taps out.

Winner: Miz

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Aksana versus Kaitlyn in a Non Title Match

They lock up and Kaitlyn with a waist lock take down into a front face lock. Kaitlyn with a suplex and she gets a near fall. Kaitlyn works on the wrist and hits a shoulder tackle. Kaitlyn sets for the inverted DDT but Aksana runs Kaitlyn into the turnbuckles and Aksana with a catapult into the ropes.

Aksana with a rear chin lock and she sends Kaitlyn to the mat and then chokes her in the ropes. Aksana with a side Russian leg sweep and she crawls around the ring and then hits a baseball slide and gets a near fall. Aksana with a rear chin lock. Kaitlyn with a kick but Aksana with a boot and forearms to the back.

Aksana with a back breaker but Kaitlyn gets back to her feet and she hits a spear for the three count.

Winner: Kaitlyn

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at what happened between Brock Lesnar and Triple H to set up their match on Sunday.

Match Number Six: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez), Randy Orton, and Sheamus versus Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter), Mark Henry, and Big Show

Swagger and Del Rio start things off and they lock up. Swagger with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Del Rio with a hip toss and a kick to the back. Del Rio with a near fall. Del Rio with kicks and punches in the corner followed by a running step up enzuigiri and Orton tags in. Orton stomps on the hand and runs his boot laces across the face followed by a European uppercut and punches in the corner.

Swagger goes for the knee and he starts to work on the knee and he punches Orton in the head. Orton with a drop kick and then he tags in Del Rio who hits a super kick and gets a near fall. Del Rio puts Swagger in the ropes and he connects with forearms to the back and then he hits a lungblower.

Swagger goes to the floor and Del Rio with a suicide dive onto Swagger. Del Rio sends Swagger back into the ring and Del Rio goes up top but Swagger climbs the turnbuckles and hits a belly-to-belly throw. Show tags in and he punches Del Rio in the midsection and chokes him in the ropes.

Show stands on Del Rio’s back. Swagger with a kick to Del Rio when Show distracts the referee. Show with a chop to Del Rio’s chest. Del Rio with punches but Show sends Del Rio into the turnbuckles. Swagger tags back in and he connects with knees. Henry tags in and he connects with a series of head butts. Swagger tags back in and he runs into boots from Del Rio. Del Rio with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker and both men are down. Show tags in and he hits an elbow drop to keep Del Rio from making the tag.

Show with a slam and we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio sends Swagger into the turnbuckles. Swagger misses a charge into the corner and his shoulder hits the ring post. Show tags in and he keeps Del Rio from making the tag. Show gets Del Rio up for a fallaway power bomb but Del Rio counters with a rana and both men are down. Del Rio crawls to his corner and he tags in Sheamus.

Sheamus with running double sledges and then he runs Show into the corner and hits a running knee lift. Sheamus goes up top but he flips over Show. Show grabs Sheamus by the throat but Sheamus escapes. Sheamus gets Show up for White Noise and he hits it. Sheamus pounds his chest for the Brogue Kick but Henry distracts Sheamus and Show blocks the Brogue Kick and Show hits a choke slam and Sheamus kicks out at two.

Swagger tags in and hits a series of elbow drops and then he slams Sheamus and hits a leg drop and gets a near fall. Swagger with a front face lock but Sheamus gets back to his feet. Swagger with a knee to the midsection but Sheamus catches Swagger and hits the fireman’s carry slam.

Henry tags in and he kicks Sheamus to keep him from making the tag. Henry punches Sheamus in the head and connects with forearms and punches because that is what he do. Show tags back in and Sheamus punches Show in the midsection and head. Show with a running shoulder tackle and he walks across Sheamus’ chest.

Show with chops across the chest followed by a punch to the midsection. Swagger tags back in and he connects with knees and follows with a short arm clothesline. Swagger with the double jump Swagger Bomb for a near fall. Swagger tries for another Swagger Bomb but Sheamus recovers and he hits Swagger in the back. Sheamus with an electric chair drop and both men are down.

Orton tags in and he hits a back breaker followed by two clotheslines and he avoids a clothesline from Swagger and then Orton with the power slam. Henry with a body block to Orton and Show sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Del Rio with a step up enzuigiri to Henry that sends Mark to the floor. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Show on the floor.

Swagger ducks an enzuigiri and he applies the ankle lock but Orton with an RKO to Swagger for the three count.

Winners: Alberto Del Rio, Randy Orton, and Sheamus

We go to credits.

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