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COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: CENA AND RYBACK PICK A STIPULATION; SANDOW SINGS; FANDANGO DANCES (WITH SUE); MARK HENRY DO WHAT HE DO; CESARO DOES NOT YODEL; SAMOANS VERSUS SAMOAN; BELLAS BETRAY A TAG PARTNER; KAITLYN HAS A MAN ON THE INSIDE; BROCK DOES INTERIOR DESIGN; AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-05-06 23:00:50
We move a week closer to Extreme Rules and what will happen when Paul Heyman plays ‘Bring your Beast to his opponent’s work’? Is John Cena going to be healthy enough to make it to the pay per view? What will the Shield do to top their last few weeks with the Undertaker and Kane?

Earlier today, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman went to Titan Towers. What happened when they entered the inner sanctum of the Game’s office? What is next for John Cena and Ryback? Will Cena get a matching leather jacket in case they have to be tag team partners before Extreme Rules?

We are in Roanoke, Virginia and your announcers are Michael ‘Bolton’ Cole, John ‘Peter Gibbons’ Layfield, and Jerry ‘Milton Waddams’ Lawler.

John Cena makes his way to the ring but he does not have the usual pep in his step. He says that you can sense the unrest in the WWE Universe. It has been a week full of unrest and questions. John says that he will answer those questions using the playbook of Daniel Bryan.

YES . . . competing in the main event of Raw was probably not a great decision for his heel.

NO . . . it will not stop him from defending his title against Ryback at Extreme Rules.

YES . . . after Ryback refused to compete and standing on the stage at the end of the show, he does not know what his plans are.

YES . . . Ryback is ready to DTF. . . do the Fandango.

The photo with Betty White was photoshopped.

He says that he is not a teacher, lawyer, or doctor, he is the current WWE Champion. As long as he is medically cleared, his job is to get in this ring every single week and do his best. Is he 100%, he hasn’t been 100% since 2002. That will not stop him from defending his WWE Championship.

Vickie Guerrero excuse mes her way to the ring.

She tells John that she is so excited that he will be defending the title at Extreme Rules. This pay per view will not be ordinary . . . it will be Extreme. Triple H will face Brock Lesnar in a Steel Cage match. Dolph Ziggler will be defending his title in a Triple Threat Ladder Match. The WWE Title match will also be extreme. She says that she would never choose a stipulation that would affect the champion and the challenger.

Ryback makes his way to the ring.

John will get to select his stipulation for the match with Ryback. John says that he has so many options. He says the winner should be the person who runs out of the arena like a scared girl. Instead, why not make it a whine off. Cena mocks Ryback.

He says that he doesn’t care if it is a Vickie Guerrero Granny Panties on a Pole Match . . . and then he reconsiders. He wants a chance to fight and shut up the world’s largest complainer.

Vickie tells Ryback that she did not appreciate him walking out of the match last week. Now Ryback gets to pick the stipulation.

Ryback says that throwing away the chance to make the stipulation is extremely stupid.

Cena shows that his foot does not hurt him as much as Ryback thinks.

Ryback says that he is not fighting Cena tonight and he tells him to take it easy. He is smart enough to walk away from a fight when the timing is wrong. It is ironic that his Achilles heel is his Achilles heel. Cena’s real Achilles heel is his ego and pride. After Extreme Rules, everyone will know that Ryback Rules.

The match will be Last Man Standing.

Michael Cole reminds us of the situation involving Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman, and the WWE Headquarters.

Randy Orton walks in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and Damien demands silence before he sings.

Randy has voices inside his head, just watching him puts him to bed. Puts me to sleep.

Randy walks down here on this ramp his expression stays the same. Does his pose up in the corner, can’t think of anything more lame.

All his tattoos are disgusting, all that oil on him is heinous. All you people get to sit back and watch him beat this ignoramus.

Match Number One: Randy Orton versus Damien Sandow in an In Case You Missed It on Smackdown Rematch

Orton punches Sandow and he must not be a fan of music. Orton puts Sandow on the apron and he tries for the IEDDT but Sandow gets to the floor. Orton with a clothesline and then he drops Sandow on the ringside barrier. Orton sends Sandow back into the ring but Sandow goes to the floor again.

Orton punches Sandow and sends him into the ringside barrier and apron. Orton hangs Sandow on the apron and he tries for an IEDDT but Sandow sends Orton into the ringside barrier. Orton with a back breaker followed by a European uppercut or two. Orton punches Sandow and he pulls Damien out of the corner. Orton with a stomp to the midsection. Sandow with a shoulder and knee to the midsection. Sandow with a punch but Orton with a punch of his own and a suplex.

Orton runs his laces across Sandow’s face and it is time for the Garvin Stomp. Orton with a boot to Sandow’s head and he gets a near fall.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Sandow is in control of the match with a reverse chin lock. Sandow with knees to Orton followed by the side Russian leg sweep and it is time for the Elbow of Disdain and he connects and gets a near fall. Sandow returns to the reverse chin lock.

Orton with a clothesline out of the corner on an Irish whip and he connects with another clothesline. Sandow goes for a clothesline but Orton moves and Randy with a power slam. Orton runs into an elbow but Orton with a drop kick when Sandow comes off the turnbuckles. Sandow goes to the apron and Orton hits the IEDDT.

Orton twists into the push ups and he hits the RKO for the three count.

Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Cole, Lawler, and Layfield are talking but we cut to the stage where Big Show is standing over Randy Orton. We see footage showing Big Show knocking out Orton.

Fandango is in the back and he is getting ready with SUE. We go to commercial.

We are back and Chris Jericho makes an appearance in his sequin spangled jacket. He makes his way to the ring.

Chris welcomes us to Raw is JERICHO. He says that we know that Fandumbo is coming out next so he wanted to put together a Judge’s panel of the performance of FanDodgeDurango, FanDingleBerry, and other names.

Chris says that he found two superstars in the back who could kick some butt and shake some booty. He brings out Brodus Clay and Tensai, who are joined by Cameron and Naomi.

Brodus and Tensai give Fandango and Sue a 2 while Jericho gives them a 1.

Fandango wants to know who Christopher is to rate him. Just because he was on Dancing with the Stars, but he failed.

Match Number Two: R Truth versus Fandango (with Sue)

Fandango with kicks and knees to Truth and then he dances. Truth with a leg lariat and then he connects with a clothesline and back elbow. Truth with a kick and a sit out gourdbuster. Truth with the scissors kick and Fandango rolls to the floor to avoid being pinned.

Truth dances and does a split in the ring and they get 10s across the board. Fandango and Sue leave and he is counted out.

Winner: R Truth (by count out)

It is time for more footage of Brock and Paul at WWE Headquarters. We see more footage of Paul filming Brock walking through the hallways.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look back at the match between Daniel Bryan and Ryback from Smackdown. Then Daniel Bryan was attacked by the Shield.

Josh Mathews is with Daniel Bryan in the interview area. Josh asks Daniel how he is. Daniel says that he is fine. The Shield like to throw around the word justice. They use it to justify three on one attacks. He will prove that it will take more than a Shield ambush. He is challenging The Ryback to a rematch tonight.

Ryback tells Bryan he is in no condition for a rematch. He tells Bryan ‘No’ Ryback says that even if Bryan was healthy, he would destroy him again. Bryan is half the man he is.

Kane comes up from behind and he asks Ryback about him. Does he think that he is half the man that Ryback is.

Ryback says Kane is not the monster he used to be. There is only one monster in the WWE and Ryback Rules.

Match Number Three: Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) versus Dolph Ziggler (with Big E Langston and AJ Lee)

They lock up and go to a stalemate. Ziggler has a kick blocked and Del Rio with a side head lock take down. Del Rio with a shoulder tackle. Del Rio blocks a hip toss and hits one of his own and he gets a near fall. Del Rio with a kick to the back and he gets a near fall.

Ziggler with a kick to the thigh and Ziggler with a drop kick for a near fall. Ziggler kicks Del Rio in the corner. Ziggler punches Del Rio and he hits a Stinger Splash and gets a near fall. Del Rio with kicks in the corner and then he punches Ziggler. Del Rio with the step up enzuigiri to the shoulder and he gets a near fall. Del Rio tries for a suplex but Ziggler blocks it and Ziggler with a suplex of his own and he gets a near fall.

Ziggler with punches to Del Rio and the referee pulls Ziggler out of the corner. Del Rio with an Irish whip and Del Rio sends Ziggler into the corner and Del Rio with forearms to the kidneys followed by a lungblower. Ziggler falls to the floor and Jack Swagger’s music plays and he comes to the ring with Zeb Colter.

Swagger tells Langston not to touch Colter who has gone from camouflage to a blue vest. Meanwhile, Ziggler is still down on the floor and Del Rio is still in the ring as we go to commercial.

We are back and Ziggler with a reverse chin lock but Del Rio with punches and a sunset flip for a near fall. Ziggler tries for a drop kick but Del Rio moves. Ziggler gets another chance for a drop kick and he connects. We see footage from the commercial break when AJ distracted Del Rio long enough to allow Ziggler to hit a Super X Factor.

Ziggler with a series of elbow drops and then he hits a delayed leaping elbow drop. Ziggler gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick but Del Rio tosses Dolph into the air and down to the mat. Del Rio misses the step up enzuigiri but he does catch Ziggler in the head when he lands on the mat and Del Rio with a near fall.

Del Rio with a single arm breaker and then he tries for the float over into the cross arm breaker but he takes too long and Dolph with a swinging neck breaker for a near fall. Ziggler goes up top and Del Rio with a punch that stops Ziggler. Del Rio with an inverted superplex and both men are down.

Del Rio punches Ziggler but Ziggler with a kick and neck breaker. Ziggler misses the Stinger Splash and Del Rio with two clotheslines. Del Rio avoids a clothesline and he hits a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Del Rio sets for the super kick and he connects. Del Rio with a near fall. Del Rio signals for the cross arm breaker and after a few counters Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker.

AJ gets on the apron to distract the referee. Langston pulls Del Rio out of the ring and then Langston throws Del Rio into Swagger as the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio (by disqualification)

After the match, Swagger sends Langston into the ring post and he takes care of Del Rio. Swagger pulls out a ladder and Ricardo climbs on his back. Swagger uses the ladder to push Ricardo into the ringside barrier. Swagger hits Ziggler with the ladder and then he throws it at Del Rio.

We take a look at more photos of Brock and Paul entering WWE Headquarters.

We go to commercial.

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