We start off with a look back at the last few weeks of Impact as Wes Brisco & Garett Bischoff turned on Kurt Angle, and Hulk Hogan reinstated Bully Ray to team with Sting against Aces & Eights. We then go to London, England to kick off this week's episode.
Hulk Hogan comes out to the ring, and he has something on his mind. He says that the fate of the TNA World Title will hang in the balance at Lockdown, and tonight's show will feature four matches that Hogan will use to decide who gets the title shot at Lockdown. Rob Van Dam will take on James Storm, Christopher Daniels will face Hogan's personal pick Magnus (what a sycophant), Kurt Angle...hahaha...will take on Samoa Joe, and Bobby Roode will go at it with...you guessed it, Austin Aries. Just couldn't resist, could he? Hogan's going to be watching all the matches, and he'll come out at the end of the night to pick Jeff Hardy's #1 contender for Lockdown.
The other thing Hogan would like to address is the issue with Aces & Eights, who wanted to face TNA's best in an all-out-war at Lockdown. Hogan happily accepts, and introduces his team captain: Sting. Okay, not surprised there. Sting puts over the London crowd, then says that Aces & Eights made their challenge, and the challenge is accepted. He's going to do the same thing Hulk will, and that's pick three killers to be on his team at Lockdown, and they're going to put an end to Aces & Eights at Lockdown, and whatcha gonna do when the Stinger runs wild on them?
#1 Contender Series: Christopher Daniels vs Brutus Magnus
Daniels tries to get an early advantage by working on the arm, but Magnus responds by cracking Daniels in the jaw and powering him into a vertical suplex. Kazarian snaps Magnus' neck over the top rope behind the referee's back and Daniels capitalizes by hitting an STO for 2. Magnus starts to fire back on Daniels, but Kazarian interjects himself again from the outside and allows Daniels to nail Magnus and salute the crowd before covering for 2. Daniels gets a uranage and goes for the BME, Magnus rolls out of the way and takes Daniels' head off with a Yakuza kick. Magnus finally slugs Kazarian, and the referee compassionately throws him out of ringside as Magnus throws his manager's license into the crowd. Daniels charges down the ramp at Magnus and gets backdropped back inside the ring, then they go back in where Daniels ducks a Marufuji clothesline, Magnus tries it again and connects. Magnus signals for the Michinoku Driver and hits it, then goes up top and hits the elbowdrop for the win.
Winner: Brutus Magnus
Bully Ray is backstage telling Brooke that this isn't how it was supposed to go down, and he never thought an injury would ever stop him. He wanted to do two things: marry her, and win the TNA World Title. He wanted to be a warrior in the ring like her father, and everything's been going so great. Brooke says she doesn't know what to say, and Bubba says that since it's Valentine's Day and they're in London, he's not going to let it ruin their time together, so they're going to go buy her the shoes she wanted, they're going to the fancy restaurant she likes, then they're going dancing. Brooke says he needs to be careful, and to wear his ring because she found it on the hotel sink this morning. UH OH!!
We go backstage to Brutus Magnus, who says that this has been his only job since he's been 19 and it's all he's ever wanted to do. Aces & Eights nearly took it away, but he just proved that he has what it takes to be the heavyweight champion of the world.
#1 Contender Series: Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle
The announcers discuss their outrage over the elimination of wrestling from the Olympics, something Kurt Angle has been very vocal about lately. Joe runs Angle over with a shoulderblock and pummels him with right hands, then charges Angle in the corner with a splash and hits a leaping enziguiri. Joe with the snapmare/chop to the back/kick to the chest/kneedrop combo for 2. Joe charges right into a waistlock and gets suplexed by Angle, who then stomps Joe down in the corner. Angle with another suplex for 2, then hits a snapmare and gets a rear chinlock as we go to commercial.
We're back, and Angle is trying more suplexes but gets drilled with a forearm from Joe and gets chucked out to the floor. Joe connects with a diving forearm to the floor, then brings Angle back inside and drills him with a running boot and a senton for 2. Angle slips out the back on a powerbomb attempt and hits rolling German suplexes, Joe escapes the Hacker Slam and lays in some jabs. Angle whips Joe to the corner and charges right into the STJoe, but he catches Joe out of nowhere with a missile dropkick and hits the Hacker Slam. Joe pops right back up and gets Angle in the Kokina Clutch, Angle backs Joe into the corner to get him to break and rolls Joe into the anklelock. Joe nearly taps, but rolls Angle forward and rams him into the corner, then they wipe each other out with a double clothesline. Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff run in and attack both men before they get back to their feet, and the referee calls for the bell.
Joe and Angle turn the tide and send the young boys packing, then they shake hands with each other and make up.
We go to Dixie Carter giving the other contestants from British Bootcamp who didn't win, and tells them to make a good impression when they appear in an Impact ring for the first time tonight. Kisses on the cheek for everyone!
Jesse, Tara & Gail Kim vs British Bootcamp Tribunal
Okay, I made that name up because I missed the first part of the match and didn't catch everyone's name. I come back just in time to see Jesse and Party Marty go at it, Marty hits a springboard moonsault and Jesse rolls to the floor as we go to commercial.
We're back, and Tara's going at it with one of the Blossom Twins. I didn't even realize they were twins until just now, but Taz says their names are Hanna and Holly. They double team Tara, but Gail comes in and finds herself on the receiving end of a flurry of offense from one of the Blossoms. Gail connects with a kick to the ribs and tries a slam, but can't manage to support the massive weight of the 110 pound Blossom twin and she collapses under her. Tara hits a kick to the back of the head so Gail can get another shot in, then Tara tags back in and hair tosses Blossom A across the ring. Gail and Tara continue beating up Blossom 1, but Apple Blossom gets the knees up when Tara tries a standing moonsault and makes the tag to Blossom Blossom, who comes in and cleans house on both heel girls. They double backdrop Gail onto Tara, then they hit the double team Blossom splash on Gail for 2. Jesse gets in and flexes at Rose Blossom, but Party Marty takes him out with a missile dropkick that sends him out to the floor, then Marty nearly breaks his damn neck trying a messy dive and crashing headfirst into the rail while completely missing Jesse. Gail hits Barbie Blossom with Eat Dafeet for the win.
Winners: Jesse, Tara & Gail Kim
Gail gets a microphone and says she just proved that she's the most dominant Knockout in the company, she thanks Taryn Terrell for not screwing up for a change, then tells Tara that she wants her title back. Brooke is going to name a challenger for Tara for next week, so Gail calls Brooke out to the ring to give her what she wants. Brooke's shitty entrance music hits, and she comes strolling out with a big smile on her face to tell Gail that she's got her title match next week, but it's going to be a three way that also includes Miss Tessmacher. Actually, it's a four way: Velvet Sky's in the match too, and Brooke will be sitting at ringside to make sure no shenanigans go down.
We go to Dixie Carter's announcement last week on Bellator that Impact is going on the road, and also that she's signed Jeff Hardy to a new, long term deal that will keep him in TNA for years to come. Jeff Hardy returns to Impact Wrestling in two weeks!
Austin Aries is backstage telling Roode that it's obvious that Hogan is trying to divide them, but they need to stick to the plan of winning all the titles. They argue over who will win which titles, then decide to go do this.
#1 Contender Series: James Storm vs Rob Van Dam
They start off fast and furious, Storm gets the early advantage until RVD takes his head off with a spinkick. RVD hits the rolling monkey flip and a springboard thrust kick. RVD with Rolling Thunder for 2, then fires off some kicks at Storm's ribs. RVD with a backbreaker and the split legged moonsault for 2, Storm gets to his feet and they trade right hands, Storm with a kick to the gut and a DDT for 2. RVD catches Storm with a spinning kick to the face, Storm tries a lungblower and RVD holds the ropes, but RVD turns around and Storm hits Closing Time. Storm sets up for the Last Call, RVD catches the foot and hits a stepover leg lariat. RVD goes up top for the frogsplash, Storm knocks him to the apron with a big right hand, RVD drops Storm's neck down on the top rope and he staggers backward into the opposite corner. RVD goes for the Van Terminator, Storm moves out of the way and RVD hits nothing, then Storm waits for RVD to get up and drills him with Last Call for the win.
Winner: James Storm
Great match, either guy could have won this one.
Joseph Park heads into Hulk Hogan's office and says that he learned that if he wants to get to the top, he needs to politic. He hired a campaign manager and had banners and stickers made, but Hogan stops him and says that's not how politicking works, and to ask the boys to explain to him what a rib is. Park makes Hogan promise to vote for him, then leaves so Hulk can go back to his conversation with Brooke.
We come back from commercial, and the Hogans are STILL arguing. Hulk doesn't want Brooke pushing for her husband to work hurt if he doesn't have to, then he excuses himself to go watch the next match. Brooke says there's a lot Hulk doesn't know about Bubba, like how he got into the business because of Hulk. Hulk says he has to remain objective, but he'll take her advice under advisement.
Austin Aries and Bobby Roode come out for the main event, but before we get started, Roode cuts a promo on Hulk Hogan for taking all of a week to try and screw them again. They're still going to win all the titles and bring meaning to them again. Aries thanks the fans for chanting for him because he knows his name, then he says that this isn't going to rattle them. They're professionals, they're going to take care of business, and Aries tells the referee to ring the bell.
#1 Contender Series: Austin Aries vs Bobby Roode
They both try the Fingerpoke of Doom on each other, then get in an argument when neither man will lay down for the other. Aries gets the microphone again and tells Roode to get down when he pokes him, then refuses to lay down for him. He finally says he'll be the bigger man, Roode argues that he's the bigger man, Aries says that was just a figure of speech and while Roode is physically the largher man, he's going to lay down for Roode. Aries indeed lays down, Roode goes for an arrogant cover, Aries crucifixes ihm for 2, then they start arguing again as we go to commercial.
We're back, and both men are pissed off and are going at it for real now. They tie up aggressively, then break and shove each other, then yell at each other again to lay down. Another tie up, Roode shoots Aries to the ropes and goes for a backdrop, Aries cartwheels past him and ducks out to the apron where he snaps Roode's neck down on the top rope and hits a sunset flip. Roode drops down and holds the ropes, the referee sees him and stops counting, then Roode and Aries shove each otehr again and we go to another tie up. Roode sends Aries to the corner, Aries Brisco rolls Roode into a cradle and puts his feet on the ropes, but the referee sees and stops counting again. Roode slugs Aries, Aries slugs him back, and they trade blows in the middle of the ring. Aries charges at Roode and gets caught in a spinebuster for 2, Roode picks him up for a running powerslam, Aries slips out behind and shoves him off, Aries tries the IED and Roode catches him in the powerslam position again, Aries slips out again onto the ropes, Roode nails him and goes up top for a superplex, Roode nearly powers Aries up for the suplex but can't quite get him over, Aries boxes his ears, Roode falls backward into the ring, Aries goes for the 450 splash, Roode moves and Aries lands on his feet, Roode tries the spear, Aries catches him in midair and counters to the Last Chancery. Whew! Roode is trapped right in the middle of the ring, but he goes to the eyes to break the hold and gets Aries in the Crippler Crossface. Now Aries is trapped in the middle of the ring and is in trouble, but he manages to roll Roode into a cradle for 2. Aries kicks Roode in the gut and goes for a brainbuster, Roode slips out the back, Aries switches and shoves Roode right into the referee and knocks the ref out. Roode brings a chair into the ring, tosses it to Aries, and lays down like he got hit with the chair. The ref isn't quite up yet, so Aries picks the chair up and slams it into the mat, then tosses it toward Roode and falls down like he's dead. They're both playing dead while telling the referee that the other hit them with the chair, but they suddenly stop and stare up the aisle at Chavo Guerrero Jr and Hernandez as they come down the aisle to observe. Roode and Aries stop wrestling and chase after the former champions since they're wearing Aries and Roode shirts to mock them. They suddenly realize that they're going to get counted out, and both men start to race back to the ring while trying to stop each other from making it back. They just miss beating the count.
This was awesome, both men are just awesome at what they do and did a better job of mixing comedy and kickass wrestling than anyone I've seen do in months.
We go backstage to Hulk Hogan and Sting as they reminisce about killing WCW at Starrcade 97, then they talk about how crazy things are now in TNA. Sting says it's all on Hogan's shoulders, and Hogan says he's going out there to make his decision right now. Hogan heads the wrong way, and Sting tells him the ring is the other way and wishes him happy decision making.
Time to get Hulk Hogan's decision, as he comes out and says it's not about him, it's about the eight men who poured their hearts out here tonight. It's decision time, and each of those men want to be the man, but he has to pick one man to face Jeff Hardy at Lockdown. Before Hogan can render his decision, Aces & Eights jump the rail and surround Hogan in the ring. Bully Ray comes limping out to the ring with chain in hand and Aces & Eights backs off a bit, but are still surrounding the ring. Hogan and Bubba are back to back facing them down as Sting comes out to join up with Hogan and Bubba, bringing a bat for each man out with him. Aces & Eights finally backs off as Bubba and Devon trade words, and that's a wrap for this week!
Thanks for reading the Impact Wrestling Report on PWInsider.com. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss Impact and more with Dave Scherer on the Stu & Pid Show!