We begin with a montage of the Raw opens through the years.
We are in Houston, Texas and your announcers are Michael ‘Where is the Harlem part of this town’ Cole, John ‘Welcome to my state’ Layfield, and Jerry ‘Biggio and Bagwell were robbed’ Lawler.
It is starting to feel a lot like 1993 because Vince McMahon is in the ring. Vince welcomes everyone to the twentieth anniversary of Monday Night Raw. We have seen a lot in twenty years. Most of all, we have seen entertainment. Raw has been so entertaining that since its inception, four billion viewers have watched Raw.
Why have over four billion viewers enjoyed Raw? Because Vince is a certifiable iconic genius. He also says that it is because of the fans. They will continue to make history tonight. Dolph Ziggler will face John Cena tonight. It will be in a steel cage. We will have a Rock Concert tonight.
Vince is interrupted by the former World Champion, the Big Show. Show tells Vince that he is sorry but the twentieth anniversary celebration will have to wait. They need to address the travesty that happened to him on Smackdown.
Vince reminds Show that he does not like being told what to do. He does not like being interrupted. He does not like certain people calling him Vince.
Show says ‘sir’ and then he continues. He would like to address what happened on Smackdown.
Vince tells Show that he looks good and he has lost some weight. He says that Show is no longer carrying the World Championship.
Show says that is why he his out here. He wants to address the travesty.
Vince wants to roll the footage and Show says that it isn’t necessary. Since he came out unannounced, they don’t have the footage ready.
Vince says that we need to watch the footage.
Show says that is what he is talking about. He wasn’t prepared for that type of match on Smackdown. Why would Booker put him in that match. Maybe he is trying to make Del Rio a hero to the Latinos. It is not fair. Booker is jealous of him. He has a no cut iron clad contract. Booker and everyone is inferior to him.
Vince asks Show what he would have him do.
Show says that since he is Vince’s most precious commodity, Vince should strip the inferior Alberto Del Rio of his title.
Ricardo Rodriguez comes out and he introduces the current World Champion, Albertooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Del Riooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Alberto tells Big Show for someone who talks about being a giant so much, he comes off so small. He remembers that Show had so much fun picking on Ricardo, but when someone picks on him, Show becomes a crying baby. Instead of complaining to Mr. McMahon, why not do something about that. Why not give the people Alberto Del Rio versus Big Show for the title tonight?
Show says no. This is exactly what he has been talking about. He was not prepared on Friday. He is not prepared tonight. He is wearing a custom made suit.
Del Rio says that Show is bigger and stronger than him. For once in his life, he tells Show to show some cajones.
Show says that he is not going to waste his rematch here tonight and he tells Del Rio that he is delusional to think that. He will fight Del Rio when he wants to fight him, not when Del Rio wants to fight him. A perfect place for that title is not in Houston, it is at the Royal Rumble.
A smart man like himself, chooses the battleground. When it is all said and done, people won’t be talking about CM Punk, the Rock, or who survived the 30 man Royal Rumble . . . they will be talking about him because he is going to knock Del Rio out and take back his World Championship. He tells Del Rio to enjoy his fifteen minutes of fame.
Alberto says something in Spanish and he translates for Show and says that he called him a fat jackass in Spanish.
Show asks if this is Vince’s World Champion to insult him.
Alberto says that Ricardo has a present for Show. Ricardo gets a bucket and Show tells Ricardo if he throws water on him, he will break Ricardo’s spine in half.
Ricardo thinks about it and he throws confetti on Show. Del Rio and Show battle and Del Rio with a rana and a step up enzuigiri.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a flashback to Bob Barker guest hosting Raw.
Match Number One: Wade Barrett versus Randy Orton in a Non Title Match
They lock up and Orton backs Barrett into the corner and he gives a clean break. They lock up again and Barrett backs Orton into the corner and Barrett with a punch and kick. Orton misses a clothesline but Orton with a Thesz Press. They go to the floor and Orton sends Barrett into the announce table. Orton with a European uppercut and then he connects with a back body drop onto the ringside barrier.
They return to the ring and Orton gets a near fall. Orton with a very deliberate Garvin Stomp. Orton with a kick to the head. Orton clotheslines Barrett over the top rope to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Orton with punches and a head butt. Barrett with a knee to the midsection and we see footage from the commercial break when Barrett avoided the IEDDT and connected with a back kick that send Orton to the floor.
We are back to the action in the ring and Barrett with a reverse chin lock. Orton with a head butt and kick. Barrett with a boot to the head. Barrett gets a near fall. Barrett puts Orton in the ropes and connects with knees and then kicks Orton in the head and gets a near fall. Barrett with a reverse chin lock but Orton with a belly-to-back suplex.
Orton and Barrett exchange punches. Barrett with an Irish whip but Orton with a clothesline out of the corner. Orton with two more clotheslines and he avoids a clothesline from Barrett. Orton with a power slam. Barrett drops Orton on the top rope to avoid the IEDDT. Barrett with a back breaker and then he gets Barrett on the apron for the IEDDT and he hits it.
Orton with the push ups but Barrett escapes the hold and he connects with a forearm to the back of the head and then he sends Orton shoulder first into the ring post. Barrett with the Bull Hammer for the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
We go to commercial.
We are back and Eve Torres is walking in the back and she sees Booker and Teddy Long. Eve will have a special stipulation in Eve’s Divas Title Match. If Eve gets counted out or disqualified, she will be stripped . . . of the Divas Title and Kaitlyn will be the new champion.
Eve tries to sweet talk them and she says that there is something that they can do to work this out. Booker looks like he is going to kiss Eve but he laughs and then says that he did not see her try that. Teddy is laughing too and Eve slaps Teddy before going to the ring.
Michael Cole reminds us that Vickie Guerrero mentioned Kane and Daniel Bryan’s check up with Dr. Shelby.
Daniel Bryan says that he doesn’t know why they had to do a follow up. Neither wants to be there. Kane agrees. Bryan says that they lie and tell Shelby what he wants to hear. The faster they get out of there, the better.
Dr. Shelby is impressed that they were shaking hands. Shelby asks if anyone wants a group hug and Kane and Bryan say they do.
Daniel wants to know if they can go. Dr. Shelby has a follow up question for each man. He asks Daniel what his favorite part about Kane is. Bryan says that he likes that Kane is tall. He likes that Kane can set things on fire by lowering his arms. He says that Kane is quite a good dancer.
Dr. Shelby asks Kane what the best part of Daniel is. Kane says that Bryan is very agile in the ring. He says that Daniel has a great beard. He says that Daniel has no problem admitting to wearing women’s clothing.
Shelby says that they are free to go, but they have Kristin send in some people. Dr. Shelby has a surprise and it is Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes. They are here to cause a trigger for their anger and see how it works. Sandow corrects Dr. Shelby on his method of treatment.
Dr. Shelby says that they will purposely antagonize them and when they feel their angry feelings, they need to let them wash away and find their happy place.
Cody wants to know what kind of quack he is to have a happy place. Sandow insults Shelby. Shelby says that they are here to help him and not criticize him. Shelby and Sandow argue. Cody says that he doesn’t know who is a bigger failure, then as a team or Shelby as a therapist.
Sandow wants to know where Shelby got his degree. They would be better off getting advice from Dr. Phil.
Dr. Shelby tells Bryan and Kane to attack Sandow and Cody.
Kane says that is his happy place.
Match Number Two: Kane (with Daniel Bryan) versus Damien Sandow (with Cody Rhodes)
Sandow goes to the floor and then Kane brings him back in from the apron. Kane with a punch and Irish whip followed by a clothesline into the corner. Kane with another Irish whip and clothesline followed by a side slam for a near fall. Sandow has a punch blocked by Kane on the floor and Kane with a punch. He sends Sandow back into the ring but Sandow with kicks.
Sandow with a head butt and punch followed by a knee and a side Russian leg sweep followed by elbow drops that lack disdain. Sandow with a knee drop and now it is time to add some disdain for the elbow drop and he gets a near fall.
Sandow goes to the turnbuckles and Kane grabs Sandow and hits a choke slam. Kane gets the three count.
We go to commercial.
We are back and we take a look back at the start of the show when Ricardo Rodriguez went Geese Ausbie on Big Show doing his best Washington Generals impression.
We are introduced to the first inductee in the 2013 Hall of Fame Class and it is Mick Foley.
John wonders if Foley will go in as Dude Love, Cactus Jack, or Mankind.
Mick thanks the people of Houston . . . but he is interrupted by The Shield who make their way to the ring.
They surround Foley and he is ready for them. They back Foley into the corner but Ryback’s music plays and Ambrose is pissed.
Ryback runs to the ring and the Shield meet him as he enters the ring. Ryback throws Ambrose and Rollins over the top rope and then he clotheslines Reigns. Ambrose and Rollins return to the ring and they work over Ryback.
Randy Orton comes to the ring and he attacks Ambrose and then he goes after Rollins. The Shield triple team Orton. Sheamus comes to the ring and he fights off the Shield. Orton and Sheamus clear the ring of Rollins and Reigns. Ryback gets Ambrose on his shoulders and he hits the marching muscle buster.
Josh Mathews is in the ring with Ryback and he asks him about his retribution against the Shield. Ryback says that every time he has stepped in the ring with CM Punk, the Shield have allowed CM Punk to escape. The Shield has allowed Punk to walk away with the WWE Championship. He does not care about conspiracy theories. He says that he will not rest until he gives back to the Shield what they have taken from him.
Ryback wants to be fed Shield.
Jerry segues into some of the most outrageous gimmicks in the history of Raw. We see Chainsaw Charlie, Repo Man, Doink, Man Mountain Rock, Tourette’s Goldust, The Goon, Duke Drose, Beaver Cleavage, Bastion Booger, Gillberg, RockaBilly, Mantaur, Boogeyman, Naked Mideon, ‘The Man’s Man’ William Regal, and many more.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Three: Eve Torres versus Kaitlyn for the Divas Title
They lock up and Eve with a side head lock. Kaitlyn with a top wrist lock and Eve is sent to the floor. Kaitlyn punches Eve but Eve kicks Kaitlyn and then gets a near fall. Eve punches Kaitlyn and gets a near fall. Eve gets another near fall. Eve kicks Kaitlyn in the midsection and she chokes Kaitlyn.
Eve with a figure four head scissors and Eve moves closer to the ropes and Kaitlyn grabs the ropes. Kaitlyn with a rollup for a near fall. Kaitlyn with a forearm and clotheslines. Kaitlyn with an inverted DDT for a near fall. Eve with a kick to the head and she hits the swinging neck breaker for a near fall.
Eve with punches and then Kaitlyn with a gutbuster from the shoulders and Eve goes to the floor. Eve sends Kaitlyn into the ringside barrier. Eve throws Kailtyn into the ring bell area. Kaitlyn makes her way back into the ring and she hits a spear for the three count.
Josh Mathews is with Brodus Clay and Josh shows Brodus what CM Punk said about him last week. Josh asks for comments. Brodus says that he doesn’t shuck and jive because he has to. He does it because he wants to. He says that Punk’s pipe bomb is going to blow up in his face.
We go to commercial.
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