ROH SPOILERS FROM TONIGHT'S SHOW
By Mike Specian on 2012-07-28 08:53:55
Here are live spoilers and impressions from the episode of ROH TV that will air this weekend. The episode was taped in the DuBurns Arena in Baltimore on June 29.
MATCH 1: Rhino (with Truth Martini) def. Rocko [Duh-byoos-ee] in an instant – Heavy breathing. Gore. Pin.
ROH is trying to get over that Thomasa Chiampa is totally insane now. He stormed past Truth and Rhino towards the ring and started twitching and tensing like a tortured soul hearing voices. He was orchestrating his speech by speaking slowly at the beginning of sentences and then speeding up his words at the end. It was a bit much for me. He reminded me of what Randy Orton would be if he was a horribly over-acting. As Chiampa comes to the ring, Prince Nana and RD Evans (in a yellow turtleneck and red jacket) quickly follow.
CHIAMPA: Right now, I have a lot of questions, but I don’t have any answers. There’s Toronto, there’s New York City, there’s the Television Title…(he is interrupted by Truth Martini)
TRUTH: Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. I always tell my House of Truth members the absolute truth. Maybe you (referencing Nana and RD Evans) should start doing the same. Tell them about our secret. Tell them about our deal.
CHIAMPA: (screaming) A secret‽ What deal‽ What deal lawyer man? What deal Prince Nana? [Truth laughs maniacally as he walks off with Rhino.]
EVANS: Please, hear me out. I am renowned for my honesty. (Crowd heels him.) You know if you can trust anyone it’s me. In the interest of full disclosure, between attorney and client, I think it’s time that you know the truth. It was all Nana! I told him not to do it! [crowds cheers in appreciation]
CHIAMPA: You listen to me! You listen close. [he says something in what I assume is Italian.] (He hits the Kryptonite Krunch on Nana. RD Evans is terrified. Crowd chants “one more time.”)
MATCH 2: Thomasa Chiampa def. Mike Sydal in 3:15 – This was a nice little showing for Evan Bourne’s younger brother. For those who haven’t seen him, he looks like a smaller Brian Pillman with his brother’s face. Sydal performs a nice top rope moonsault, but Thomasa hit Project Chiampa for the win.
[Kevin Kelly is in the ring with the song “Boom Boom” playing in the background. Someone is holding up a sign with an cartoon representation of Colt Cabana giving a thumbs up that reads “Bring back Boom Boom.” How appropriate!]
KEVIN KELLY: My guests at this time are the new ROH Tag Team Champions, ANX!
[Rhett Titus and Kenny King come to the ring.]
KEVIN KELLY: At Best in the World, Kenny King and Rhett Titus, [you] absorbed everything that Haas and Benjamin could throw at you. You took their absolute best, but you beat them and stand here the new tag team champions. [applause from crowd] But you heard the words of Haas last week. He called it a fluke. He called it a travesty of justice, a robbery. He says he wants you guys to answer his demands. How do you respond to the demands of Charlie Haas?
KENNY KING: Demands from Charlie Haas? Let me tell you something, Kevin Kelly. The only ones who makes demands…are champions. Champions make demands! Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, over the last couple of months they were a bunch of cowards. Look at what they did to the Briscoes in Toronto. Look at what they did to us in Richmond. Hell, look what they tried at Best in the World. They didn’t try to beat us. They tried to hurt, they tried to maim, they tried to kill Rhett Titus. Let me tell you something about Rhett Titus. Rhett Titus is intense. Rhett Titus is a beast. There is no man I’d rather go to war with than my partner Rhett Titus.
TITUS: They want to call it a fluke. It might have been a fluke if it had happened one time. We might have gotten lucky if it happened two times. But if we beat you three times, that means we officially own your asses. And in case you don’t know, or in case you’re too slow, Baltimore, you’re looking at the brand new Ring of Honor World Tag Team Champions. [applause] Our celebration was cut a little short in New York City, but don’t worry. We’re bringing the party to Baltimore all…night...
CROWD: Long!
[Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team’s music hits. They come to the ring.]
SHELTON: Are you done? Are you done with your little feel good moment? So you finally did it, huh? You finally won the big one?
[Crowd starts doing the What? chants.]
SHELTON: Hey, wrong company, jackasses. [Crowd enjoys this.] Now, as I was saying, how do you look yourselves in the mirror and call yourselves champions?
[Crowd starts chanting Yes! Yes! Yes!]
HAAS: Still wrong company!
SHELTON: What you did at Best in the World can’t go down as a win. How do you wake up in the morning and call yourselves champions?
CROWD: We want Angle! We want Angle! We want Angle!
SHELTON: Or you can do the smart thing, the intelligent thing – you can just hand those titles back to us right now.
KENNY KING: If you’re going to give us the option to hand you the titles right now or give you a chance to win these titles back from us, that’s a pretty easy choice to me. Because if you give the All Night Express the option to run or fight, we will jump on your ass all…night…long! [Crowd cheers.] And if you want, we’ll bust your ass, right here, right now.
SHELTON: Hey, hey, hey. There won’t be any title shot tonight. It ain’t sanctioned. If you’re feeling froggy, you can jump when those belts are on the line.
CROWD: Chickens**t! Chickens**t!
[Hass and Benjamin leave the ring.]
KENNY KING: Baltimore, now that we’ve gotten rid of World’s Oldest, it’s time to...
Hass jumps Rhett from behind. Kenny King throws shots to Haas’s back, but Shelton nails King in the head with a steel chair. He thrusts the chair into King’s gut and kicks him in the head. He picks up the title belt and continues to kick Rhett.
Security hits the ring. Shelton throws the first two out of the ring, hit Paydirt on the third and fourth, and tosses out the fifth. He pushes down Todd Sinclair. The bell is ringing like crazy. As Shelton continues to beat down Rhett, Charlie plays defender by keeping the referees out of the ring.
SHELTON: You want to be the champs? Welcome to the crosshairs.
[They hold up the titles to a chorus of mostly boos.]
MATCH 3: Adam Cole def. Roderick Strong to become the new ROH Television Champion – This was AWESOME. Roderick beat the hell out of Cole for about 2/3 of the match with brutal, stiff offense. They exchanged an impressive series of near falls at the end until Cole scored the victory. The action was so good I couldn’t bring myself to recap it live. Just find the match and watch it. Afterward, Kyle received a very nice round of applause from the crowd for capturing his first Ring of Honor gold.
DARK SEGMENT: We have an arm wrestling contest between Truth Martini (with Roderick Strong and Michael Elgin) and Christoff from 98 Rock in Baltimore.
TRUTH: I’m not going to lie. I’m actually surprised you showed up. Christoff, from 98 Rock! (cheers from the crowd) You know what? I’ve been waiting a long time to do this. If you read the Book of Truth, Chapter 2, you would know that Truth Martini is a former arm wrestling champion. (boos) Some people say I’m not a fair man, but I do have a kind heart. I’m going to allow you to back out. These Baltimore bums don’t deserve to see this. So just back out and leave.
Christoff slowly intimates that he’s going to leave the ring, but changes his mind.
CHRISTOFF: You, me, table, now! Let’s do this! (cheers)
Truth is nodding as he’s approaching the table, saying that he’s been waiting a long time for this. Truth begs off from the start of the match twice (to a chorus of boos) before locking in. The crowd has started a 98 Rock chant. The match goes back and forth. Strong pulls Truth’s other arm to give him an unfair advantage, but it isn’t enough. Christoff gets the win!
Afterwards, Roderick wrapped his towel around Christoff’s neck while Truth looked to attack, but D-Line ran into to make the save.
The weirdest part live, though, was that Truth and Roderick had to sell all of this just minutes after losing the Television Title.
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