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COMPLETE RAW COVERAGE AND THOUGHTS: CENA BLINDED, LESNAR MEANS DESTRUCTION, PUNK IN THE PUB, GREAT WWE TITLE BOUT, THE YES LOCK IS BORN AND MUCH MORE

By Mike Johnson on 2012-04-16 23:25:00

Here are my live, ongoing WWE Raw report and thoughts:

We open up with a lot of pyro in London.

WWE champion CM Punk vs. Mark Henry - No DQ, No Countout

Huge pop for Punk's entrance.  I can't remember the last time I've seen fans chanting for someone so loud, it was loud enough to be heard over his ring music.  That sight of everyone standing for him was a hell of a visual.  They show some clips of the last few weeks between the two to set up the match.

Punk used several kicks to the legs early.  I guess he's been watching some UWFi tapes.   Henry overpowered him into the corner and drilled him with headbutts and clubbing shots over the back.     Punk fired back with some kicks.  The crowd cheered with every kick, but Henry drilled him to the mat.  Punk rolled out of the ring and returned as Henry went to the floor.  Punk hit a suicide dive to the outside and tried to whip Henry into the guard rail.  Henry reversed it, so Punk ate the ringpost.

Henry began mauling Punk's face but was kicked off during a charge, then another.  Punk crawled away, then ran across the barriers to bulldog Henry on the floor.  That was a cool spot.   He then was tasked with trying to muscle Henry back up when he was out of it.  That allowed Henry to drill him backwards into the apron.  Punk nailed a series of kicks and went to the apron.  He dove off but was caught and sent into the barrier as they went to commercial.  So far, so good.

When we returned, Henry was working over Punk, who fired back with some kicks.  Henry cut off Punk's momentum with a clubbing shot.  Punk ends up grabbing a chair and nailed Henry with it with a series of shots for a two count.  Since it's No DQ, it's legal.    Henry kicked down Punk and snapped the chair over Punk's back.  Henry wedged it in between the turnbuckles and tried to send Punk into it head-first.   Punk chopped away at Henry, nailing him with a series of rights but was cut off with a clothesline.

Henry cinched in a bearhug.  Punk went for a flying bodypress but was caught.  Henry went for the World's Strongest Slam but Punk slipped out and kicked him.  Punk nailed the running kneelift and went for the bulldog but Henry countered and threw him off.  Henry charged but Punk sidestepped and hit the chair that was wedged face-first.     Punk retrieved the chair and  came off the top, drilling it into Henry's face.  Punk scored the pin off that.

Your winner and still WWE champion, CM Punk!

That was great and one of the better matches on Raw in awhile.  They had an excellent back and forth match.  Henry looked the best he has in awhile and it's nice to see him getting over the injuries that had been curtailing his work.  Punk looked so awesome here as the champion in peril and also as the badass fighting back against the monster.

Chris Jericho pops up on the Titantron in a bar and announces he will be fighting Punk in a Chicago Street Fight.  That is so ass-backwards.  Why isn't it the babyface Punk cutting a kickass pissed off Jericho to a Streetfight?  Things like this totally take the bite out of the heroes getting their revenge and muddies the storylines.  Punk promises to kick the hell out of Jericho in front of his family in the streets. 

Jericho says Punk must have some beer goggles on because his was going into a pub earlier today.  They show the "secret" footage.  He questions Punk going there and asking why.  Punk said that just because he's straightedge, that doesn't mean he can't go to a pub for some fish and chips with friends?   Jericho said that Punk is making excuses like his father and he had to go and be around alcohol.  Jericho said he is on the path to being an alcohol because he lost his dignity, honor and personal beliefs.  Now, he will lose the only thing he has left, the WWE title.

Punk tried to respond but Jericho disappeared from the screen.  The crowd chanted for Punk.  A very good back and forth segment and a great first 25 minutes.

They promise us an indepth look at Brock Lesnar later.

We see some glamour shots of London and R Truth is dressed as Sherlock Homes, while Little Jimmy is Watson.  Awful.  They were playing silly music underneath this.  Truth finds Teddy Long and says their job is to find him a new job.  A solemn Long said that's the best news he's gotten all month.

WWE United States champion Santino Marella vs. David Otunga

Marella, on the anniversary of his WWE debut, has some silly fun with the crowd wearing a bunch of different jerseys, getting heat for the different cities before showing off the London shirt.  That was a cute way to connect with the Brits.  Marella got a nice pop for it and when he got in the ring.  One thing that makes the show stand out is that with this crowd, they react like it's an event.

Pretty silly to have a United States title bout in England but whatever  Otunga is now doing the old Chris Masters entrance.   She controlled Santino early with some power moves and began clubbing him while holding him in a somewhat but not quite a Dragon suplex.    Otunga scored several near falls and whipped Santino into the corner.  Santino came out and nailed Otunga.  He tried to avoid Otunga with a split but was kicked in the face.

Otunga nailed Marella and had one of the most awkward attempts at making a pin in history ever.  The referee counted three but Santino had his foot on the ropes, so no finish.  Marella nailed a series of hiptossed and hit the Cobra on Otunga.

Your winner and still US champion, Santino Marella!

Nothing match but they tried to work a fast pace.  Otunga seems to have found some confidence in his new role.

Backstage, Josh Mathews tried to interview Lord Tensai who simply responded in Japanese, then said that he knows what everyone should fear - him.

We go to the Brock Lesnar interview.  He said that he's not a Superstar, he's an asskicker.  They show all sorts of clips of him from different eras, including amateur wrestling, WWE and UFC (still photos).  The interview is shot to look like a UFC Countdown interview or the HBO Boxing specials.  Lesnar said he wasn't back for a happy moment.  He said Cena isn't a real guy and was only in the top spot because Lesnar left.  He said Cena would be carrying his bags if Lesnar had never left.  Lesnar said there is nothing fake about him, he's real and he showed that when he bloodied Cena last week.  He said Cena sh** his pants and p***ed himself.  Lesnar said that it's not a wrestling match on 4/29, it's Extreme Rules and he's coming to cause chaos.   Lesnar said he was coming and what makes him happy is beating people up.  It was an AWESOME video.

Kane vs. Zack Ryder

Hey remember when Ryder had momentum?  Yeah, me too.  What a waste.    I hope WWE remembers this the next time HHH makes some comment about how guys need to make their own opportunity.  This guy did (and revolutionized their entire Youtube movement) and gets crapped on weekly for it.

We see some clips of the recent Kane carnage of the Orton family.

Kane kicked Ryder off the apron into the announcer's table and just mauled the hell out of him.   Kane slammed him into the apron and threw Ryder in the ring like he was a sack of potatoes.   Kane grabbed him and chokeslammed him.

Kane doesn't even bother pinning Ryder, showing us show ineffective he is and then cuts a promo about the Ortons.  He says that he expected Bob Orton to go down without a fight but was surprised how easy Randy went down.  He said, "Like father, like son" and walked off.

Why they couldn't just have had Kane cut a promo as opposed to pissing on Ryder again is beyond me but the promo was fine.

Kofi Kingston was talking to AJ backstage when Daniel Bryan told him that just because he dumped AJ doesn't make it open season.  AJ tried to claim they were just talking but he Sssshed her.  Bryan said he was going to make Kofi tap tonight in the LeBell Lock, then stopped and wondered aloud why he was calling it that, since he was better than Gene LeBell and asked who did he ever beat.  He re-named it the Yes Lock because that's what people will be screaming when they are locked in it and asked if they give up.  YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!  Bryan kept saying.  The crowd chanted along with him.  Kofi stood there smiling like a complete dork, then said he would see and walked off.  I don't know in what universe that pre-tape made Kingston look like a top flight wrestler, but it wasn't this one. 

John Cena makes his way to the ring for a promo.  Cena said that it was interesting footage and it's interesting that John Laurinaitis is involved when Lesnar gives him the F-5.  He said that Wrestlemania could be the end of the John Cena footage.  The crowd chanted, "YES! YES! YES!"  That's funny.  Cena said that at Mania, Laurinaitis became the most powerful man in the WWE and now he will use his authority to end and replace Cena in WWE.  He said that Johnny went out to get Brock Lesnar and it was the most anticipated return in the company history because after a year of entertainment and movies and gladhanding fans, Lesnar is here for destruction.  Cena puts over what a bad man Lesnar is and says he is stepping into the ring with a man who is there to end Cena and replace him.   Lesnar said that Cena is afraid and Cena admits that he is, because a fearless man is a liar.  Cena said he will fight.  He said he will take the biggest asswhipping of his career if he has to but he will fight.  The promo was awesome by the end.

John Laurinaitis, with regal music right out of the Presidential campaign, comes out and says that it's the end of an era and the start of a new one, people power.  He says that he's glad Cena wants to fight, so he's making an Extreme Rules match tonight.  Big pop for that.   Johnny said that there will be a contract signing next Monday during the three hour Raw between Cena and Lesnar.  Johnny said that he won't tell Cena who he his opponent is because it makes things more creative and fun in the vein of People Power.

Backstage, R Truth walks past Hornswoggle, who is reading.  He came out of a secret passage that Hornswoggle couldn't figure out.

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan was absolutely the crowd favorite here.  Bryan and Kingston go back and forth.  Bryan snaps him with a big dropkick in the corner and drills him with a knee across the chest.   Bryan worked over Kingston's arm, then drilled him with kicks in the chest.  Bryan covered him for a two count.

Bryan used a keylock to take Kingston down to the mat and worked on his wrist.   Kingston fired back with chops.  Bryan nailed him with a great uppercut.   Bryanb rode Kingston on the mat but Kingston slipped out and nailed a big elbow.  Kingston charged but was sent to the floor.  Bryan went from a running knee off the apron but Kingston got out of the way, then drilled Bryan.

They showed AJ watching backstage as they returned from commercial.  Kingston hit a monster monkey flip but missed a charge and was hit with a drop toehold into the buckles.   The crowd chanted for Bryan as he kicked Kofi hard, yelling Yes each time.  He covered Kofi for another two count.  Good back and forth pace so far.

Kingston was trapped in a rear chinlock.  Kingston made a comeback and used a ton of offense, including a flying clothesline and the Boom Drop.  He set up for Trouble in Paradise but Bryan ducked and went for the Yes Lock.  Kingston escaped and nailed the SOS for a two count.  Good exchange.  

Kingston nailed several kicks and strikes in the corner but had a whip reversed.  He used the ropes to slingshot himself into a kick.  Kingston went to the top but Bryan cut him off.  They battled with headbutts.  Kingston got the better of that and sent Bryan into the ring.  Bryan avoided a flying bodypress and Kingston crashed and burned.  Daniel locked on The Yes Lock and forced Kingston to give up.

Your winner, Daniel Bryan!

Really fun match.

Bryan locked The Yes Lock back on the prove a point but Sheamus, with theme music, hit the ring.  The crowd didn't love him anywhere near as much as they did Bryan.

They show clips setting up Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler dropkicked him immediately trying to take him out but it doesn't work.  He gets tossed across the ring.  Swagger immediately interfered for a DQ,  Clay ran them both off then faced Vickie Guerrero, who was yelling on the apron.   Guerrero was grabbed by Camewron and kicked her off.  Naomi chased her into the ring and into Clay.  Vickie screamed realizing she was trapped.  Naomi shoved her down.  Brodus and friends danced.

AWFUL match.  Complete waste accomplishing nothing.

Backstage, John Laurinaitis was counseling David Otunga when Eve Torres reminded him they missed their one on one.  Ace brought her into his office.

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole pitched it to a video piece on the late Jay Strongbow.

  Backstage, R Truth told Teddy Long he found a job for him, the General Manager of Smackdown.  Long told him that was the job he just lost.  Truth said that meant he had job experience.  Long looked at him like he was crazy. 

WWE Tag Team champions Epico & Hunico vs. WWE Intercontinental champ Big Show & Great Khali

They noted that the champs have been Tweeting, complaining about their lack of TV time.  Abraham Washington was scouting on the stage with an iPad.  Khali destroyed Epico and brought in Primo.  He nearly fell over nailing a big boot.  The champs tried to walk out but Show grabbed them and tossed them back into the ring.

Khali nailed a ton of chops.  Khali and Show nailed a chokeslam and Punjabi Plunge for stereo pinfalls.

Your winners, Big Show and Great Khali!

Yeah, this did wonders for all involved.  Guess we will be seeing Show and Khali getting a title shot soon.

They showed a video feature on the recent Russia debut.

Extreme Rules Match: John Cena vs. ?

John Laurinaitis announces it's Lord Tensai, who comes out with Sakaboto.  Johnny and David Otunga are at ringside as well.

Cena battled Tenai, who felt no pain.  He slammed Cena into the turnbuckles and began drilling him with kicks.   Tensai went for a suplex but Cena blocked it. Tensai nailed a running clothesline and continued the assault on Cena.  Cena was whipped hard into the buckles.  The announcers talked about the loss to the Rock and how its weighing down on Cena.

Tensai nailed a running Avalanche in the corner and Cena rolled out to the floor.  Tensai worked him over on the floor and teased powerbombing him on the ring steps.  Cena backdropped him on the floor.  Cena grabbed the steps and ran them into Tensai's head. 

Sakaboto attacked Cena with kicks on the outside and Otunga tossed Cena back in.    Tensai picked up Cena for a big standing suplex and dropped him for a two count.  He locked a trapezious nerve hold on Cena, trying to wear him down.   Tensai continued the assault until missing a running splash in the corner.

Cena nailed some offense, including a back suplex.  He went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Tensai got up and chopped him, then hit a back senton splash for a two count.   He locked on an armbar submission.  Cena rolled through and locked on a STF.  Otunga hit the ring so Cena broke it and nailed the Attitude Adjustment on him.  

Cena turned to Tensai, who blew the green mist in his face and powerbombed Cena for the pin.

Your winner, Lord Tensai!

Solid match.  Not an awesome bout by any means but as a way of establishing Tensai as a player, it was fine.  Cena was calling for water, claiming he couldn't see.   He splashed water in his face and asked for a doctor saying he still can't see.  Nice way to get over the mist.

Overall, a slighly thumbs up Raw.  The first 25 minutes was great.  Bryan vs. Kingston was solid.  The Lesnar stuff was great.  The main was OK.  Lots of throwaway crap but that's because it was designed that way.  The good outweighed the bad here for the most part and the bad was short segments.

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