We open with Lillian Garcia singing America the Beautiful, then we flip to the opening video, and then we're off to Miami for this year's edition of the Granddaddy Of Them All, Wrestlemania 28!
World Title Match: Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus
Bryan gets a good luck kiss, then turns aroundandcatches a Bro Kick from Sheamus, who covers and gets the three count.
Winner and new World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus
Wow, is that an atrocious waste of time and great wrestlers, or what? Wow, we're off to a GREAT start! You thought we were going to get a decent match out of these two? APRIL FOOL'S!!!
Team Johnny is backstage getting hyped up for tonight's match, and Miz says that losing is not an option. Just like he won the main event of Wrestlemania last night, they're going to win tonight. David Otunga introduces John Laurinaitis, who says that by winning the match tonight, they're going to make Wrestlemania history like when Hogan slammed Andre, like when Austin refused to submit to Bret Hart's Sharpshooter, tonight will become known as the night John Laurinaitis became the GM of both Raw and Smackdown.
Kane vs Randy Orton
Orton fires off on Kane right at the bell and they duke it out in the corner, Kane goozles Orton but Orton fights his way out and beats Kane down and puts the boots to him. Orton trires to do the DDT off the second rope, but Kane elevates Orton onto the top rope and comes in with a big boot to the head. Kane with a snapmare and a basement dropkick for 2, the gets Orton in a rear chinlock. Orton makes it to his feet and they trade blows in the middle of the ring, but Orton comes off the ropes right into a chop to the throat. Kane covers for 2, then gets a side suplex for another 2 count. Orton gets out and gets a neckbreaker for 2, then starts unloading with more right hands. Kane runs Orton into the cornerand gets a delayed vertical suplex for 2. Kane back to the rear chinlock, Orton gets out and counters a side suplex attempt to the over the back backbreaker. Orton with a clothesline, then another one, but Kane stays on his feet so Orton hits a snap powerslam and rams Kane shoulder first into the ringpost. Ortongoes for an RKO, but Kane shoves him off into the ropes and hits a big boot for 2. Kane goes up top and comes off with a clothesline attempt, but Orton dropkicks him on the way down and sets up again for the punt. He charges in, but Kane catches Orton and hits a chokeslam for 2. Kane pummels Orton in the corner with right hands, Orton ducks a clothesline and goes for the RKO, but Orton shoves Kane off into the corner. Kane lands a back elbow and goes to the second rope, but Orton just batters him with right hands and goes up to the second with him. He stops to look out at the fans, but the delay costs him because Kane grabs him by the throat and hits a chokeslam off the second rope for the win.
Much better match than I expected coming in, and I was really surprised to see Kane come out on top.
Santino Marella is backstage with Mick Foley and some guy from Deadliest Catch, and Santino promotes a WWE appearance on Deadliest Catch as Foley extolls the virtues of his new low carb diet. Foley puts Mr Socko on, Santino puts on the Cobra sock, and they dig into their crab dinners. Okay.
Intercontinental Title Match: Cody Rhodes vs Big Show
Cody bails out to the floor as soon as the bell rings, Show goes after him and Cody rolls back inside and tries a baseball slide, but Show catches him coming out of the ring and press slams him back inside. Show goes back inside and pummels Cody, hits a Beell across the ring, followed by a big bodyslam,and then chops Cody's chest in in the corner. Show with a big ass to Cody's face in the corner, but Cody dodges a charge in the corner and dropkicks his knees out from under him. Show tries to fire back at Cody, but another dropkick to the knee and Show goes back down. Cody fires repeated right hands to the skull of Show and goes for a cover, but Show easily presses him off at 2, so Cody goes back to the knee. I guess Cody has watched tapes of what Ric Flair did to his dad. Cody goes for a boot to the head, but Show catches his foot and fires back with big right hands. Show charges Cody in the corner and runs into Cody's boot, but Cody goes up top and Show grabs him by the throat. Cody grabs Show's hand and drops down to the floor, then comes back in and hits the Beautiful Disaster kick, but Show counters another one with a spear and knocks Cody out with the WMD for the win.
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Big Show
Wrestlemania 28 continues on Page 2!