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WWE RAW REPORT: TWO HALL OF FAMERS ANNOUNCED; MORE OF THE SAME FROM JERICHO; KANE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN THE ANTI-BULLYING MESSAGE OF WWE; WWE CAN'T GET LEFT ON THE ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA

By Richard Trionfo on 2012-01-09 23:05:21
We begin with footage from last week when Brodus Clay did not debut again. Instead we see footage of John Cena and Zack Ryder’s victory last week in the elimination tag match and Kane’s attempt to pull Zack Ryder into HornswoggleLand.

We are live from Corpus Christi, Texas and your announcers are Michael ‘Why did they add the ‘C’ to BCS’ Cole and Jerry ‘How long until pitchers and catchers report’ Lawler.

Kane makes his presence known early with his pyro, or is it Chris Jericho? It is Kane, but he has taken his ‘brother’s’ smoke for the entrance. Kane has something to say while the building stays red. He says that he sees the disapproving looks. He hears the weak little whispers. . . questioning him and wondering why he embraces hate. Not only are they deplorably predictable, they are also in denial. They all get up to espouse what they cannot stand. Then they go to a job they despise. Then they go home to children that they say they love, but deep down you think to yourself, they are nothing but soft, spoiled disappointments. They all live lives filled with PURE HATE but you don’t embrace it.

It is because they are either too cowardly or because they have filled their lives with delusions of hope like John Cena. Kane says that Cena represents hope, SUCCESS, and all of the things that people aspire to achieve, but cannot.

When you see John Cena, what you should see is your own failures, shortcomings, and unfulfilled dreams. It should anger you . . . and it does. When you say ‘Cena Sucks’ what you are really saying is that you suck. They refuse to embrace the hate that is bubbling inside you like a festering cauldron. You think you are good human beings, but you are liars.

Cheering for an underdog does not make you good and decent. Kane mentions Zack Ryder. YOU made him a star, but that proves NOTHING. Last week, he was seconds away from dragging that vessel of your vicarious elation down to the depths of hell, but John Cena stopped that.

All Cena did was delay the inevitable. Kane says that HE ALWAYS GETS WHAT HE WANTS and he wants consequences. Consequences for refusing to embrace the hate.

John Cena’s music plays and John is kind of serious. He runs to the ring and he punches Kane. Cena clothesline Kane over the top rope to the floor and Kane lands on his feet. They fight up the ramp and towards the back. They go into the hallway as Kane with uppercuts and elbows.

We see people standing in the back as they are thrown around by Kane as he is not content only to attack John Cena. Kane punches Cena and he walks past a series of chairs but he sends Cena into a door. They make their way outside.

Cena fights back and he has Kane at the edge of the platform but Kane recovers and he sends Cena into some metal poles. Cena has a tire iron and he hits Kane but Kane with an uppercut and Cena falls onto some trash. Kane leaves as Cena gets back to his feet.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole is serious to talk about the battle between the agents of hate and the beacon of light.

We see footage from Friday night when Jinder Mahal attacked Sheamus and put him in the camel clutch.

Match Number One: Sheamus and Santino Marella versus Jinder Mahal and Wade Barrett

Santino and Jinder start things off and Santino misses a few kicks and then he hits a jab or two. Mahal with a knee to Santino followed by another knee for a near fall. Barrett tags in and he connects with a forearm. Barrett with a near fall and then he punches Santino. Barrett with a reverse chin lock.

Santino with punches but Barrett with a hard Irish whip for a near fall. Mahal tags back in and he kicks Santino in the ribs. Mahal with a reverse chin lock. Santino with a split stunner and both men are down.

Sheamus tags in and he hits a few double sledges and then he clotheslines Mahal in the corner and he connects with forearms followed by a power slam and he knocks Barrett off the apron. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick but he does not pin Mahal because he has to tag in Santino. Excuse Santino while he whips it out and he puts on the sleeve and hits the cobra for the three count.

Winners: Sheamus and Santino Marella

Miz is in the office and he says that this is not fair. He mentions that R Truth has assaulted him twice. John and Mr. Coffee stand there and John says that Miz brought this upon himself. He says that he has a lot on his plate because he is the referee in the WWE Championship match. John says that tonight is the debut of Brodus Clay.

Miz doesn’t care about Brodus and he wants some sort of protection. John tells Miz that he has to find his own protection. John says that he isn’t Little Jimmy, he is Big Johnny. Miz and Otunga leave in opposite ends of the office while John texts someone.

Who will be the first person inducted into the 2012 Hall of Fame?

We go to commercial.

We are back and the first inductee into the Hall of Fame Class of 2012 is Edge. We get comments from Randy Orton, CM Punk, Christian, and John Cena.

Jerry says that a second inductee will be named later tonight.

Mason Ryan is listening to Miz but Mason will not be his Batista.

Zack Ryder is on the phone and he is talking to his dad. He sees Eve walking by and Zack suddenly gets a spine. Eve wants to know if Zack is okay. Zack says that he was a little traumatized and he says that they should go out since he doesn’t have a match tonight. Eve thinks about it and she agrees, but Eve mentions that she has a match against Beth Phoenix in a non-title match. Zack tells Eve that he thinks she can win the match.

Zack walks away and we see red light from a door that opens. Kane is pulling an R Truth and is stalking Ryder.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we see footage from Friday night when Daniel Bryan was able to retain the World Title against Big Show thanks to Mark Henry.

Match Number Two: Kofi Kingston versus Daniel Bryan in a Non Title Match

Bryan offers his hand and this is a match of honor. They lock up and Bryan with a wrist lock but Kofi with a reversal. Bryan with an Irish whip but Kofi with a pendulum kick and Kofi with a springboard cross body for a near fall. Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise but it is way to early. Bryan with an O’Connor Roll but Kingston counters and gets a near fall of his own.

Bryan flips over Kingston in the corner and Kofi with a double jump cross body but Bryan puts Kofi in the LaBell Lock and Kofi taps.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

After the match, Bryan celebrates around the ring.

Big Show’s music plays to steal Bryan’s glory and he makes his way to the ring after giving his beanie to a member of the military so he isn’t so torn up about his loss.

Bryan says that he is thinking the same thing as Show and feeling the same thing. He hated how that match ended and that Mark got involved. Bryan says that the World Title is much too prestigious and too important to end in a disqualification. Bryan says that he is a fighting champion. He will give Show a World Title match whenever he wants.

Show tells Daniel that he is happy that Bryan agrees with him. They will have a rematch on Smackdown and it is a No Disqualification and No Count Out Match. Show wishes Bryan luck and he offers his hand.

Bryan shakes his hand and this is a promo of honor.

We are told that Mr. Sparkly Jacket will be on tonight’s show and maybe he will speak or he will initiate an All Fan Battle Royal.

Brodus Clay has a locker room, but is he here?

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at the 1994 Royal Rumble that saw Bret Hart and Lex Luger both win the Rumble Match.

Justin Roberts introduces the man from Planet Funk, Brodus Clay. He is accompanied by Naomi Knight and Cameron Lynn.

Match Number Three: BRODUS CLAY versus Curt Hawkins

They lock up and Clay sends Hawkins to the mat. Hawkins with a waist lock and Clay dances his way out of the hold. Hawkins with a slap and Clay likes it. Clay with a back elbow followed by an exploder and then he gets the groove before hitting a running splash into the corner and a cross body for the three count.

Winner: Brodus Clay

Zack Ryder is using some mouthwash while psyching himself up for his date with Eve and we see Kane appear but Zack does not see him.

Miz is trying to get Epico and Primo to help him but Rosa tells him no and they leave. Punk walks by and Miz leaves.

Punk walks us into commercial.

Match Number Four: Jack Swagger with push ups, Vickie Guerrero and Dolph ‘The Handstand’ Ziggler versus CM Punk in a Non Title Match

Before the match starts, Mr. Human Buzzkill comes out and he reminds us of his title. He reminds us that he will be the guest referee in the Punk/Ziggler match. John wants to show Punk that he is fair. If Punk wins tonight, Swagger and Vickie are banned from ringside during the match at Royal Rumble. John tells Dolph that he will be facing John Cena tonight.

Punk does a Santino kick into air before locking up but Swagger goes for the leg and Punk gets to the ropes. Swagger with a fireman’s carry into an arm drab. Punk gets a near fall. Swagger with a front face lock. They lock up and Swagger with a waist lock but Punk with a hammer lock into a side head lock. Swagger rolls through and gets Punk to the mat.

Swagger with a waist lock and Punk with a standing switch. Punk blocks a punch and he kicks Swagger followed by a slam and then he goes up top but Swagger rolls to the floor and Punk gets back to the mat.

Swagger returns to the ring and Swagger with a waist lock and forearms to the back. Swagger stands on Punk’s back to add more pressure. Swagger punches Punk but Punk with a springboard cross body for a near fall. Punk with a back elbow and punches.

Swagger tries for the ankle lock and Punk kicks him off. Swagger with a kick to Punk and a running shoulder tackle. Swagger with knees to the midsection followed by a snap mare and then he hooks the arms. Swagger with a rollup for a near fall. Swagger with a waist lock and Punk with elbows to get out of the holds. Swagger throws Punk to the floor and Ziggler goes over to Punk, but Laurinaitis takes time from his texting to stop Ziggler.

Punk gets back into the ring and he clotheslines Swagger to the floor and Punk with a suicide dive and we go to commercial.

We are back and Swagger with a front face lock on Punk. Punk with forearms but Swagger with a boot to the head and he gets a near fall. Swagger with forearms to the back on two occasions and then he sends Punk into the turnbuckles. Punk with punches but Swagger with a kick. Punk with knees and slaps followed by a back fist and a series of kicks.

Punk with a leg lariat and a clothesline. Punk with a swinging neck breaker on Swagger and then he hits the running knee into the corner but Swagger avoids the bulldog and he hits the double jump Swagger bomb for a near fall. Swagger wants to know why Punk hasn’t died.

Swagger goes for another Swagger Bomb but Punk gets his feet up. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline but Swagger catches him and hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Swagger goes for the Doctor Bomb but Punk escapes. Punk cannot hit the Go To Sleep. Punk misses a spin kick and Swagger with a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall.

Swagger tries for a superplex but Punk with a head butt to knock Swagger to the mat. Punk goes for the Savage Elbow Drop of Tribute and he hits it and gets the three count, but there may have been some controversy.

Winner: CM Punk

After the match, John Laurinaitis goes onto the apron to act like he is responsible for the win.

We see the footage and Swagger got his shoulder up, so we can get the concept that Laurinaitis is better at refereeing than the people they pay to referee.

We have an Earlier Tonight moment of the brawl between Kane and Cena at the start of the show.

John Cena and Zack Ryder are in the back. Zack thanks Cena one more time for getting him the title match. He thanks Cena for saving him last week. Zack says that he is nervous about a lot of things. Cena points that Zack Ryder is in the top five on Twitter.

We go to commercial.

The Bellas are in the back and they are arguing about something and Ricardo Rodriguez wants to know why they wanted him here. Ricardo tells them to call Alberto instead of bringing him here for a message. Miz tells Ricardo that he is going to call out R Truth. Every other Superstar is scared of R Truth, but that is why Ricardo is going to say the most offensive thing to call out Truth. Ricardo says that it is not going to happen, but Miz tells Ricardo if it doesn’t happen, he will join Alberto on the sidelines with an injury. The Bellas refuse to go to the ring with Ricardo.

It is time for the second Hall of Fame Inductee into the Class of 2012 and it is The Four Horsemen.

Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring and he is not a happy muchacho. Ricardo says that he is a really bad man and his mother is really ugly and has a mustache. Ricardo says that Truth smells like a wet donkey and his breath stinks really bad like a rotten burrito.

Truth has had enough when he Ricardo talks about burritos like that.

Truth comes out and he tells Lucy that he is home. Truth tells Ricardo hola and Ricardo waves back. Truth doesn’t know why Ricardo would want to pick a fight with him because he has it all wrong. Truth says that he isn’t a bad man. He tells us that he is a gooooooooooood R Truth. Truth says that Little Jimmy told him that he should let bygones be bygones and let Ricardo go.

Truth asks Little Jimmy if he should let Ricardo go and the crowd says no. Truth spins but he is too late for Brodus’ Dance Party. Truth says that Little Jimmy doesn’t think much about Ricardo and that Ricardo should be turned into a human piñata. Truth tells Ricardo stop bugging out like a little cock-a-roach. He wants to know if Ricardo could sing him and Jimmy a song.

Truth starts off singing and he wants Truth to sing it from the diaphragm. Ricardo starts to sing and he gets into it. The crowd likes the performance and so does Truth. He wants Ricardo to sing one more again.

Ricardo accidentally hits Truth’s mic and Ricardo knows that he is screwed. Truth hits Shut Up on Ricardo and while Truth’s music plays, Miz attacks Truth from behind and hits a running kick to the head. Miz with knees to Truth followed by a knee lift. Truth punches Miz and takes Miz down and punches Miz. Miz runs into the crowd and Truth acts like he is going to follow after him.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Justin Roberts tries his best Bobby Cruise to Chris Jericho’s Steve Corino as the lights go out and we wait for the shiny jacket to return.

Jericho makes it into the ring faster than last week and then he goes around ringside. Jericho’s jacket continues to blink while he does not say anything. The fans continue to chant Y2J.

Chris thinks for a moment about something to say and then he starts to cry. His music plays and he walks to the back without saying anything.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at the 1998 Royal Rumble won by Steve Austin.

Match Number Five: Eve Torres versus Beth Phoenix in a Non Title Match

Beth has changed her look drastically and she looks like Kane. Eve looks around and gets out of the ring. Eve starts to cry and Zack Ryder comes out to take Princess Peach to safety. They run into the back while Cole and Lawler wonder where Kane is.

We see Eve and Zack get into the car and he has put Eve in the car but he realizes that the tire is flat. Zack, showing that he is not the brightest bulb in the case, tries to put on the spare tire.

We go to commercial. Will AAA get there in time?

We are back and Zack almost has the tire ready while Eve encourages him.

Match Number Five: Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero versus John Cena

They lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock on one of Kane’s potential victims. Ziggler stops running the ropes and does the Ziggler Strut. Ziggler with a side head lock but Cena with a drop toe hold and Ziggler hits the Fameasser and gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick and punch to the head.

Ziggler with more punches and the referee pulls Ziggler out of the corner. Ziggler kicks Cena in the corner. Ziggler with a side head lock and he bridges to add more pressure to the hold. Cena with a belly-to-back suplex and then he charges into the corner and Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler with a series of elbow drops and then he does some sit ups. Ziggler misses an elbow drop.

Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but we cut to the back and Ryder still has trouble with the tire. Kane punches Ryder and they fight.

Meanwhile, in the ring, Ziggler with a sleeper on Cena. Kane continues to destroy Ryder while something is probably going on in the match. Kane choke slams Ryder off the loading dock and there was no thud.

Cena tries to go check on his little buddy but Ziggler with a sleeper on the floor. Ziggler is sent into the ring steps and then he goes to the back. Vickie tells Dolph to get back into the ring.

Cena makes his way out of the arena and he is ambushed by Kane. Kane with an uppercut and a kick. Kane tries to smother Cena and we see Ryder on a pallet and he isn’t moving. Kane stands over Cena and we go to credits.

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