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WWE RAW REPORT: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE ROCK, JOHN CENA, AND THE MIZ GET TOGETHER IN THE RING? PROBABLY NOT THE SAME WHEN UNDERTAKER, TRIPLE H, AND SHAWN MICHAELS MEET IN THE RING; DID YOU KNOW THAT WRESTLEMANIA IS ON SUNDAY?

By Richard Trionfo on 2011-03-28 23:22:13
We are live from Chicago, Illinois and your announcers are Michael ‘Demolition was better than the Road Warriors’ Cole, Jerry ‘What a Rush’ Lawler and Josh ‘My favorite was Rocco’ Mathews.

CM Punk is sitting in the center of the ring in his home town and he has a smile on his face. Punk says that he is going to miss this because when he goes to Atlanta, the people at Wrestlemania are not going to receive him as warmly as his people in Chicago. Punk says that they are all his people. Just like the people of the New Nexus were his people, but Randall Keith Orton took them out one by one. Here is the one big glaring difference between Randall and himself. Randall lives in a fantasy world while Punk says that he lives in a real world. Whether you are a member of the New Nexus or live in the town that Punk was born or raised in, he does not really care what happens to you.

You get punted in the head, it is not his problem. Punk says that his problem is Randall Keith Orton. Punk says that if he wants someone to get him coffee or watch his back, all he has to do is snap his fingers and he can get sheep to do things for him. For weeks, the psychological advantage that the Viper has achieved is a false sense of security.

Last week, Orton told the world that he likes to travel around in his superstar bus. Let’s go back to last week and see what happened to Randall at the hands of CM Punk.

We return to Punk in the ring and he likes what he just saw. He says that he knows that Randall Keith Orton cares about his wife and when she goes to sleep at night, she can finally see Randall for who he is. He sees Randall helpless with Punk standing over him. Punk says that Orton never should have kicked him two years ago because he lost a title. Now Orton has lost the respect of his family.

Punk says that he is just getting started. He closes this sick and twisted chapter at Wrestlemania.

Randall’s music plays and he slithers to the ring, but his knee is taped up after the attack last week. Punk punches and kicks Orton as he enters the ring. Punk misses a punch and Orton with a European uppercut followed by the IEDDT.

Orton does his RKO push ups waiting for Punk to get up. Orton gets to his feet and then he thinks about a field goal kick that would make Kevin Butler and Robbie Gould proud.

Orton sets for the kick but his knee gives out and he falls to the mat. Punk is able to get out of the ring and he sees Orton down on the mat and struggling to get up.

Punk returns to the ring and he gets closer to Orton. Punk kicks Orton in the injured leg. Punk stands over Orton while he struggles to get to his feet. Punk gets Orton up for the Go To Sleep and he hits it to the applause of the Chicago crowd.

Punk walks to the back because of the two people in that segment, he is able to walk under his own power.

Christian is walking in the back and he knocks on a door and Edge emerges. Edge says that he can’t lay his hands on Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, but he can do it on Raw. Christian says that the Raw GM is allowing it.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: Christian defeating Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown last week.

Match Number One: Edge and Christian versus Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay with Ricardo Rodriguez

Edge and Clay start things off and Edge avoids a punch and he punches Brodus instead. Clay pushes Edge into the corner but Edge with a kick. Christian tags in and he hits a double sledge off the turnbuckles. Edge tags back in and Edge kicks Clay in the arm. Edge and Christian with a double Irish whip and Edge with a clothesline into the corner and Christian with a clothesline into the corner. They send Brodus over the top rope to the floor. Christian with a pescado but Clay catches him. Edge with a baseball slide and that sends Clay to the floor.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio has Christian in an arm bar. We see footage from the commercial break when Del Rio worked on Christian’s shoulder and sent him into the ring post. Christian gets to his feet but Del Rio with a kick and Christian goes to the mat again and Del Rio gets a near fall. Del Rio wraps Christian’s arm in the ropes. Clay tags in and he hits an elbow drop or two on Christian but Christian’s foot is over the rope so the referee stops his count.

Clay stands on Christian’s chest. Del Rio is tagged back in and Clay with a slam and Del Rio hits a leg drop to the chest for a near fall. Del Rio points to the Wrestlemania sign and he slaps Christian. Del Rio runs into boots from Christian and Christian with a tornado DDT. Instead of making the cover, Christian tries to make the tag and he tags in Edge, but Clay also tags in. Edge with clotheslines to Clay but Clay stays on his feet. Edge is caught on a cross body attempt but Edge escapes and hits the Edge-o-Matic. Edge pulls his hair and stomps his feet but Del Rio trips him before he can start the spear.

Christian hits Del Rio but Del Rio sends Christian into the ringside barrier. Edge with a spear on Clay for the three count.

Winners: Edge and Christian

After the match, Del Rio puts Christian in the cross arm breaker and Edge sees what is happening on the floor and Del Rio runs to the back. Edge walks to check on Christian and that allows Del Rio to attack Edge from behind and Del Rio puts Edge in the cross arm breaker. Edge taps but who cares because there is no match going on. Del Rio pulls off Edge’s elbow pad and then he releases the hold and tells Edge that Wrestlemania is his destiny.

It is time to talk about the six person mixed tag match at Wrestlemania.

Tonight, we go to New Jersey where Trish and Snooki are hanging out at a local bar.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a new Sin Cara video package.

Miz is in the back with his lapdog Alex Riley and the WWE logo has been turned upside down.

Lawler and Josh talk about the anticipation of Cena and Rock together tonight.

There is a dingy dingy noise and Michael Cole has his e-mails forwarded to his iPad. Cole quotes. After last week’s beat down at the hand of Michael Cole, he needs to know if Jerry Lawler is truly ready for Wrestlemania. Jerry will go one-on-one with Jack Swagger.

Jerry says that he likes that idea because it is time for some payback for what happened last week.

It is time for an Undertaker/Triple H video package.

They will meet face to face later tonight.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to run through the Wrestlemania Week events in Atlanta.

Match Number Two: Justin Gabriel with Heath Slater, Wade Barrett, and Ezekiel Jackson versus Santino Marella with Vladimir Kozlov, Big Show, Tamina, and Kane

They lock up and Santino with a take down into a front face lock. Santino avoids Slater on the floor and Gabriel with a round kick for a near fall. Gabriel with a key lock. Gabriel misses an elbow drop. Santino does not miss with punches. Santino with a split to avoid a clothesline. Santino with a hip toss and a diving head butt. Kane punches Slater on the floor.

Kozlov trips Gabriel when the referee was not looking. Big Show kicks someone and it is time for the Cobra and he connects and gets the three count.

Winner: Santino Marella

After the match, Santino, Kozlov, Tamina, and Show celebrate in the ring ‘Santino Style’. Kane enters the ring and the fun appears to have left the ring, but Kane joins in the trombone party.

Triple H is walking in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and Keri Hilson is going to perform America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

It is time for the Undertaker to make his way to the ring because his music is playing and the building is now covered in a bluish hue.

The tone changes from the Man in Black to the Man with a Mole on his face as Motorhead takes over the sound in the building. Triple H makes his way to ringside to unleash the most electrifying move in Sports Entertainment . . . The GameFountain . . . or is it because Taker’s gong sounds just as Hunter is going to expectorate.

The lights go out and then they come back on and Hunter is face to face with Undertaker. Does Hunter still have the water in his mouth or did he spit in the dark?

I guess we won’t find out for a few minutes because Shawn Michaels’ music plays and he comes to the ring.

Shawn says that he is really sorry and wonders if he is interrupting something. Shawn says that there was absolutely no way that he was going to miss this. This Sunday at Wrestlemania 27, the biggest match of their careers. On one side, you have the Undertaker, the Phenom, the Dead Man, the Last Outlaw, and the greatest streak of all time. The eighteen and oh undefeated Wrestlemania streak.

On the other side you have the Game, Triple H. The Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, and thirteen time World Champion. He is also Shawn’s best friend.

After this Sunday, neither one of them will ever be the same again. Wrestlemania 27 . . . No Holds Barred. Shawn says that he has one question. He asks Hunter what in the world makes him think that he can do what Shawn couldn’t.

Hunter asks Shawn if he wants to know the truth. The truth is that Shawn got soft. Somewhere along the way, he thought it was more important to be the Showstopper and Mr. Wrestlemania. He learned that he didn’t have to win every night to be that man. Hunter says that he is not Shawn Michaels and he has to win. Hunter says that he will win. Sixteen years ago, he walked into the locker room for the first time and he saw future legends and icons. He saw one man who stood above the others. One man who was the glue that held this together. He saw that human being do things that no human should have been able to do. He saw that man tape a flak jacket because his ribs were injured. He saw a man crush one half of his face and then work the next night. He didn’t do it because he was told to or had to. That is who he was. If there was a man he should pattern himself after, it was that guy. He was everything that the WWE stood for. Hunter tells Taker that he was that man. He learned to respect him more and more every single day. There is only one guy in the business he respects more . . . as much as Taker and that is Shawn Michaels.

Five or six years ago, they made a pact that if they could not perform at the level that they thought they could, it was time. If they couldn’t accept it, they would end it for the other. Hunter says that he came back after a year off for one thing. He came back and stood in this ring for one reason only. That is to stand here . . . out of respect and look Taker dead in the eyes and tell him ‘It’s Time’

It might not be a popular opinion and Taker might not see that, but Hunter says that he can see that. Taker will always be a legend, an icon, the Phenom, and the Dead Man. Hunter says that he will always respect Taker more than any other. In six days, Taker will no longer be undefeated at Wrestlemania. Whether Hunter wants it to be or not, he is the one . . . as in 18-1. At Wrestlemania 27, Taker and his streak, with all due respect, will rest in peace.

Taker grabs the mic from Hunter and says that if he ever got to the time where he felt that someone should put him down, he would want that person to be Triple H. That is the respect that he has for Hunter. But it ain’t that time. He knows that Hunter is going to kill himself trying. In the end, the streak will be alive and so will he.

If Hunter doesn’t want to take his word for it, just ask Shawn. Shawn walks around every day of his life as the man who gave him the two greatest Wrestlemania matches of his career. He came ‘thatclose’ yet he still didn’t get it done.

Taker says that when he looks in the eyes of Shawn Michaels, he doesn’t see the same confidence and the same arrogance. He sees a man that he humbled. He sees a man who will soon go into the Hall of Fame full of regrets. He sees a man whose career he ended. Taker gives the mic to Shawn.

Shawn tries for Sweet Chin Music but Taker blocks it. Taker grabs Shawn by the throat and Hunter gets in the middle of the situation for a stare down.

Hunter tells Shawn to tell him why he is going to beat him at Wrestlemania.

Shawn doesn’t say anything. He walks out of the ring looking dejected. Shawn tells Hunter that he can’t beat Taker.

Taker smiles at Hunter and tips his hat to him before he leaves the ring and we hear Taker’s music play.

We go to commercial and are reminded that Rock, Miz, and John Cena have their face off later.

Match Number Three: Jack Swagger with Michael Cole versus Jerry Lawler

Cole gets on the apron to yell at Lawler and that distraction allows Swagger to hit Lawler from behind. Swagger with a Swagger Bomb to Lawler and Jerry rolls to the apron. Swagger kicks Lawler to the floor. Swagger sends Lawler into the ring bell pit. Lawler punches Swagger and hits him with a steel chair. The referee calls for the bell.

Winner: Jack Swagger by disqualification

Lawler hits Swagger with the chair a few more times. Then he sees Cole and Cole runs into his Rabbit Hole. Lawler hits the enclosure a few times with the chair and then he is restrained by the most competent security in wrestling history. Cole cowers in the corner of his cubby hole and then he throws his beverage at Lawler.

Cole yells at Lawler from across the ringside area.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Vickie Guerrero pinning John Morrison last week.

Vickie Guerrero comes out and she mocks John Morrison’s slo mo entrance.

Vickie makes her way to the ring and she throws out a few Excuse Mes. She tells Snooki that what happened to Morrison last week will happen to her. Vickie says that Snooki will be in a familiar position, passed out and unconscious.

We see Sheamus’ response to Daniel Bryan’s challenge for Wrestlemania.

Match Number Four: Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus versus John Morrison and Daniel Bryan

Sheamus and Morrison start things off and Sheamus with forearms. Sheamus with an Irish whip but he runs into a boot. Morrison knocks Ziggler off the apron. Morrison tries for a springboard round kick but Sheamus catches him and hits an uranage back breaker for a near fall. We go to commercial.

We are back and Sheamus gets a near fall on Morrison. Sheamus with a snap mare and then he tries to work on Morrison’s back. Morrison with a mule kick to get away from Sheamus. Bryan and Ziggler tag in and he hits a clothesline or two. Bryan with a drop kick that knocks Sheamus off the apron. Ziggler with a rollup for a near fall. Bryan applies the LaBell Lock but Sheamus with a kick to Bryan and then he tags in and hits a clothesline and gets a near fall.

Morrison with a kick to Ziggler and then Sheamus throws Morrison out of the ring. Bryan tries for the LaBell Lock but Sheamus gets away. Bryan misses the running drop kick into the corner. Sheamus hits the Celtic Cross for the three count.

Winners: Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler

We go to footage from earlier tonight when Randy Orton could not run across the ring to kick CM Punk in the head. We then see Punk give Randy Orton a Go To Sleep.

We see Randall with his knee iced and Scott Stanford asks Randall if he will make it to Wrestlemania. Randall says that he has serious anger management issues. He has ended careers of men that he does not know that well. Orton says that he has never despised a man as much as he despises CM Punk. The question should not be will whether he makes it to Wrestlemania, the question should be will CM Punk make it out of Wrestlemania.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to see who has already been announced for the 2011 WWE Hall of Fame. It is time for the final inductees and it is the Road Warriors and Paul Ellering.

It is time to go to Miami Mikes where Trish Stratus is with Snooki and Snooki is having a beverage. Someone interrupts the interview. Josh asks Snooki about the training. She says that she has learned the moves. The guy hits on Snooki and Trish but Snooki slaps him and he is escorted out. Trish says that Snooki is teaching her some moves too. They are ready for Wrestlemania.

We are told that LayCool are in the bar and we go to Jersey. Snooki throws a drink in Layla’s face and we have a spontaneous brawl. Where is Tim White when you need him. LayCool are escorted from the bar.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to see how I am spending the evening of April 4th with four hours of WWE coverage.

The Rock is in the back and he turns around and he paces. Rock’s music plays and he makes his way into the arena.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY . . . the Rock has come back to Chicago.

He is back to the city where it all started for the Rock. Chicago is a very special place to the Rock. The Rock competed in his very first Wrestlemania in this very building. The Rock never admitted this, but on that night he was nervous. The Rock was nervous but he did something that would define the rest of his career. The Rock decided to ‘bring it’. On that night, it was the unofficial birth of Team Bring It. The Rock Brings it. The Rock’s fans bring it. Team Bring It isn’t just a slogan. It is a way of life. You knock down doors . . . you kick down walls. If anyone tells you that you can’t, you take your fears and your insecurities, your worries, and your roll them into a ball. You turn those sumbitches sideways and stick them straight up their candy ass.

Rock says that when you are on Team Bring It, you go after your dreams. Rock says that he had a dream of his own. That dream was that he came into this ring and he called out John Cena.

The crowd chants ‘Cena Sucks’ and the Rock lets them continue.

The Rock calls out John Cena and his wannabe rap music hits. Cena saunters down the ramp in his bright rainbow shirts looking like a homeless Power Ranger. John Cena comes into the ring and tells The Rock ‘You Can’t See Me’. Rock says ‘you wanna see something Vanilla Ice. How about you see this’ The Rock’s fist to his lips and his boot right to his ass.

Then the Rock woke up with the dream over. This is reality. Rock tells John Cena that the reality is that the Rock is here. The Great One is here. The Rock ain’t alone. He is never alone. Rock is never alone because he is with the millions . . . and millions of the Rock’s fans. Rock says that the People’s Champ is here.

John Cena’s music plays and he comes out to the ring.

Cena says that this is what he wanted. Finally the Rock is back in a WWE ring. Cena says that the Rock is cooking like he never missed a snack. Sat down this jabroni. If you smell this. This is where the Rock belongs. He asks Rock if he hears the people. He asks if Rock hears the millions chanting his name. Years ago when he opened his mouth about the Rock, he was one of the millions. He didn’t know why the Rock left and he wanted the Rock back for moments like this. When there is not an empty seat in the house because of the power that Rock has over the people. If Rock doesn’t believe him, he tells the Rock to listen.

The fans chant for Rock.

Cena tells Rock if he doesn’t believe him, he tells Rock to feel the electricity that can only be brought by one man. Cena says that he was glad that Rock came back because he was smoking. He says that the Rock mentioned his name and it felt like he was part of a roast. When the Rock mentions your name you are in. Cena says that he wanted to listen to what the Rock said. Cena says that he wanted to listen to what Rock said via satellite. Cena says that what he said had meaning and merit.

The fans chant ‘Cena sucks’ and John lets them continue.

He says that he wanted to know what problem the Rock had with him. Cena says that he cut through the catchphrases and the jokes we have come to know and love. Cena wanted to know the problems that Rock had with him . . . and there were a lot of them.

Cena’s color was wrong. Rock was offended by the way that he talked because he wasn’t raised in a certain place. Rock was offended by the music he listened to. Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. Rock had a problem with Cena’s moral code. Cena mentions how Rock pointed out that his audience was kids.

Cena agrees with that assessment and he is damn proud of that. He is damn proud of who he is and what he has become.

He tells Rock if he has a legitimate gripe about him not working his tail to the bone to further this business then they have something to talk about. If not, he wonders who in the hell Rock is. Who is he to judge him and tell him what color to wear, what type of music to listen to, chastise the way he lives his life, or the age of the people who watch this product.

If that is what it takes to be on Team Bring It, Rock can keep the application. Every single week he walks out as himself. There are some people who like it and some who don’t. Rock says that he does not change their mind because he is in no position to judge anyone. Cena says that he will be judged, but he won’t be judged by the Rock.

Rock tells Cena that he is right because he isn’t going to judge Cena. There is only one person who will judge John Cena. The good lord cannot save him from the Rock whooping his monkey ass all over Chicago.

Cena says that Rock wanted to address him like a man and he has said everything that he wanted to and did it to Rock’s face. Cena tells Rock if he wants a fight . . .

Cena drops his mic and squares off with Rock.

Miz’s music plays and he comes out with his personal manservant Alex Riley.

Miz throws out a few reallys. He asks if this is how it is going to be. Is he going to be upstaged by the ‘O’ Brothers. Overhyped and Overrated?

Cena removes his shirt and hat.

Miz tells them that despite Cena’s little surprise last week, he has owned John Cena this month. John Cena is going to lose at Wrestlemania. At least Cena will go down swinging. He will come for a fight, unlike The Great One. Miz tells Rocky that he knows something that nobody else knows. He knows a secret. Rock is not going to do a thing tonight.

Miz says that he has done his research and the Rock’s movies have grossed more than $1.2 billion. One of the biggest movie stars is not going to risk getting beaten up and embarrassed by him. Miz says that it is not a risk . . . it is a GUARANDAMNTEE that if he even looks at him funny, he will beat Rock so bad that he will not even be able to go into Hollywood. Miz says that he is the WWE Champion.

Miz says that he will still be champion after Wrestlemania. He tells the Rock to run his mouth like only the Rock can because in the end, he won’t do anything. Miz says that he is The Miz and he’s awesome.

Rock tells the Miz that he should know by now that it doesn’t matter what he thinks. Rock gets in Miz’s face and Riley punches Rock.

Miz and Riley double team Rock and punch him in the corner but Rock with punches to Miz and Riley. Rock punches Riley and Riley goes over the top rope to the floor. Rock with a DDT to the Miz and it is time for the People’s Elbow. Rock hits the People’s Elbow and then he throws Miz over the top rope.

John Cena comes back into the ring and he gives Rock an Attitude Adjustment. Cena then tells Rock that he can’t see him. Cena walks out of the ring and up the ramp.

We go to credits.

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