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WWE RAW REPORT: THE SLAMMYS; MAJOR UPSET IN THE GUEST HOST CATEGORY; MORE MATCHES ANNOUNCED FOR TLC; DID WADE BARRETT BRING BACK JOHN CENA?

By Richard Trionfo on 2010-12-13 23:05:07
We are live from New Orleans, Louisiana and your announcers are CM ‘Where is Anne Hathaway for these awards’ Punk, Jerry ‘I would like to thank the Gymboree’ Lawler, and Michael ‘I have to look over my shoulder tonight’ Cole.

Welcome to the entertainment spectacular that is the 2010 Slammy Awards.

It is time for a special guest and it is former WCW Champion David Arquette. He calls himself one of the greatest WCW Champions of all time. He reminds everyone that he was the World Champion. He mentions that he beat Eric Bischoff. He knows that this is the Slammys and not the Oscars, but he should have won an Oscar for Ready to Rumble. It is time for the first award and it will be for

Shocker of the Year

The nominees are:

The Miz cashes in Money in the Bank, becomes WWE Champion
Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho in the head
The Nexus debuts
Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker

The winner is the debut of Nexus.

Out to accept the award is Wade Barrett, but he is the only one to come out. Wade waits for the fans to stop showing their love for anything else and he says that he accepts this award on behalf of the Nexus. He says that Nexus wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him and if he hadn’t won Season One of NXT. If he hadn’t brought the rest of them along, they wouldn’t have become the most dominant force in WWE history. Wade reminds us that he is the one man with the power to rehire John Cena. Wade says that the other members of Nexus told him that if he does not bring back Cena, he will be excommunicated from the group. Wade reminds us that it is his group. He is not sure what he will do about Cena, but he will make the decision some time tonight. Wade says that he will be creating many more shocking moments in the WWE.

We have a clinky clinky and Mr. Irrelevant assumes the position at the General Manager’s work station. We have a quote and Wade is given the opportunity to create another shocking moment in a match against Big Show.

Show takes Barrett’s Slammy and goes to the ring.

Match Number One: Big Show versus Wade Barrett

Wade stands in the corner as Show waits for him to get into the center of the ring. Barrett retreats to the ropes before locking up. Barrett goes back to the ropes to continue to frustrate Show. Barrett goes to the floor because he isn’t ready for the match. The referee starts his count and then he returns to the ring.

Show with a kick and then he punches Barrett in the midsection followed by a chop to the upper chest. Show tries for another chop but Barrett with a rake of the eyes and Show is blinded. Barrett with kicks and punches to Show. Barrett with kicks to the leg and a punch to the head. Show pushes Barrett away and Barrett continues with punches. Show with punches as he regains his sight. Barrett goes to the floor and Show follows after him.

Show with a chop against the ringside barrier. Barrett is back in the ring and Show returns as well. Barrett leaves the ring and he takes his award and goes to the back.

As Barrett goes up the ramp, the referee makes the ten count.

Winner: Big Show by count out

We go to commercial.

We are back and we will find out the Diva of the Year in a Battle Royal.

It is time for the Despicable Me Award and the award will be presented by Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd (with Jackson Andrews)

Kelly talks about the heinous acts in WWE, but Tyson interrupts and officially introduces his bodyguard Jackson Andrews. Tyson congratulates Kelly on using more big words than she ever did before. Tyson says that the Shocker of the Year should have been Kelly pronouncing treachery properly. Kelly congratulates Tyson for speaking more tonight than he did in his entire career. Kelly then insults Tyson’s hair.

Despicable Me Award

The Nominees are:

CM Punk sings "Happy Birthday" to Rey Mysterio's daughter
Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
Kane buries The Undertaker alive
Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin

The winner is: CM Punk.

Punk celebrates at the announce table and then he goes to accept the award. Punk says that this goes to prove that if you work hard and believe in yourself, your dreams can come true. Punk says that he did what he did because Rey wronged him. Punk says that there is another individual in the back who wronged him. Punk says that there will come a day when he gets even. He tells that person to watch his back because he holds grudges and he does not forget. If you think what he did to Rey and his family was despicable, you haven’t seen anything yet.

While Punk continues to celebrate, Kofi Kingston comes out and rains on Punk’s celebratory parade.

Match Number Two: Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan with The Bellas versus Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase with Maryse and Vickie Guerrero

The match is joined in progress and Dolph has Bryan in a reverse chin lock. Bryan with elbows and Ziggler with a kick and Fameasser for a near fall. Ted tags in and he kicks Bryan and chokes him in the ropes. Ziggler with a kick to the head and Ted gets a near fall.

We are told that some of the technical awards were given out before the show.

Ziggler tags in and hits a leap frog neck snap before tagging Ted back in. Ted kicks and punches Bryan and gets another near fall. Ted with a reverse chin lock and he tries to add pressure by flopping on the mat. Bryan gets back to his feet and Bryan with elbows. Bryan and Ted try for cross bodies and both men are down. Ted rolls to the floor and Maryse check on him. Kofi makes the tag and he hits a running forearm and drop kick on Ziggler followed by the Superman punch. Kofi with the Boom drop. Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise and he hits it and gets the three count.

Winners: Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan

We see Ted almost break up the cover but he could not get there in time.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did you Know that WWE programming is available to the military?

It is time for the next award and presenting it will be Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov.

Santino mentions the many guest stars. Santino mentions Vladimir being humiliated by the cast of MacGruber. Vladimir threatens Santino and Santino apologizes and he says that he respects and loves Vladimir. He kisses Vladimir and Vladimir wants to kill him.

Guest Star Shining Moment of the Year

The Nominees are

Wayne Brady gets RKO'd by Randy Orton
Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz
Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
William Shatner sings WWE Entrances

The winner is Pee Wee Herman. We have pre-recorded comments from Pee Wee. He comments on how shiny the award is. He wants to thank everyone involved. He thanks Miz and Big Show. He says that he is ready to come back whenever they want him. Pee Wee says that he is about to burst into tears. He thanks the WWE and his fans. Pee Wee plugs his Broadway show.

CM Punk demands a recount for Shatner.

We go to the Nexus Locker Room and the rest confront their boss for Wade’s decision. Otunga tells Wade that if he doesn’t bring Cena back, they will be okay, but they don’t know about Barrett. Otunga comments on Barrett’s count out loss to Big Show.

Wade thanks David for opening his eyes because now he knows exactly what he has to do. Wade leaves and we see the B Team stare at the cameras as we go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Mark Henry versus ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes

Cody demands that Henry stay back because Cody needs to put his jacket down. Cody goes into the ropes to avoid Henry. Cody yells at Henry about his hair. Rhodes with a waist lock into a side head lock and he tosses Cody away. Henry with a clothesline and then he rakes the face. Cody yells at Henry about his face and then he kicks Henry in the knees and Henry falls into the turnbuckles. Cody with boots to Henry and then he puts Henry in a rear chin lock. Henry gets back to his feet and he blocks a kick from Cody. Henry with clotheslines to Cody followed by an Irish whip. Henry with a running butt splash on Cody and then he tries for another splash but Rhodes moves. Cody with Beautiful Disaster and then he hits a knee drop from the second turnbuckle for the three count.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for the next Slammy Award and it is being presented by Jerry Lawler and Vickie Guerrero. Jerry says that he is glad to see Vickie here tonight. Jerry says that he was at the vet all night with his pet lizard because of reptile dysfunction.

Vickie comments on the moment that Lawler was cost the title by Michael Cole. Jerry says that is also the reaction that Dolph has when Vickie tries on lingerie for him

Holy %&^*%&* Move of the Year

The Nominees are

Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
Randy Orton delivers RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz

The winner is John Cena. Jerry reminds us that John Cena is fired so he cannot accept the award.

Wade Barrett comes out and says that there is nothing unfortunate about Cena not being here. He takes the award and says that if Cena wants it, he can get it. Barrett says that the world is hanging on his every word because he is going to decide whether to rehire John Cena or not.

Wade makes his way to the ring and he says that his decision is that John Cena . . . will not have an answer unless he comes to the ring and meets him in the ring.

He wants John Cena to face him man to man.

John appears in the crowd and goes into the ring. Barrett wants Cena to keep his distance because if Cena attacks him, Cena knows what his answer will be. Barrett says that this decision will affect Cena, Barrett, and Nexus.

Speaking of Nexus, they come to the ring in the Blue Angel formation.

Cena throws his hat and shirt into the crowd so it means it is on. Nexus circle the ring and Barrett officially rehires Cena on two conditions.

The first condition is that he agrees to face Barrett on Sunday in a chair match.

Cena likes that condition.

The second condition is that Cena goes one on one . . .

with David Otunga.

Barrett shows why he rehired Cena and Nexus get on the apron and Cena goes after one of them, but there are more members of Nexus and it becomes a five on one attack. Barrett returns to the ring with a chair and he stands over Cena and hits Cena in the back with the chair.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Wade Barrett rehiring John Cena and subsequent attack by Nexus.

It is time to recap the Slammy Award winners so far.

David Arquette is here to announce another award, but he has a few things to say first. He says that he is opening at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. He announces the WWE Universe Fan Reaction of the Year Award.

The Nominees are:

Kid reacts to John Cena joining Nexus.
Fan reacts to Shawn Michaels losing at Mania
Angry Miz Girl reacts to Orton losing the title

The winner is Angry Miz Girl. Out to accept is the legend herself. She gives a speech, but she is interrupted by Miz and Alex Riley.

Miz asks her if she remembers him because he remembers her. He comments on her Slammy. Miz takes the award and he says that he should take it for safe keeping. Punk wonders if Miz is going to sing Happy Birthday to her. Miz wants her to recreate the face that made her famous.

Miz says that if anyone deserves a Slammy it is not a nine year old girl, it is him. He says that he has been the Tag, United States, and WWE Champion as well as Money in the Bank holder. He says that is a grand slam. Tonight is the Slammys, but there are three weeks left in the year. If you want a moment of the year, tune in on Sunday when he has Randy Orton beaten so bad he is begging to be put through a table.

The buzzkill interrupts and Michael Cole gets off his perch and climbs Mount General Manager. And Cole quotes, six days before his tables match, both him and Randy Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz will face a former World Champion and the match will start now.

Match Number Four: Miz with Alex Riley versus Rey Mysterio

Miz punches and kicks Rey in the corner. Rey with a head scissors to send Miz to the floor. Rey with a seated splash as we go to commercial.

We are back and Rey with a wheelbarrow but Miz blocks it for a moment but Rey with a bulldog and then he drop kicks Miz into the ropes and Alberto Del Rio’s music plays and Miz gets out of the ring. Rey stops everything even through Alberto is on the ramp.

Rey goes to the floor and Miz hits a wheelbarrow suplex into the apron. Miz returns to the ring and gets a near fall. Miz with kicks to Rey followed by a punch. Miz puts Rey on the top turnbuckle and sets for a superplex but Rey stops him. Rey with a head butt to Miz and Miz falls to the mat. Rey with a seated splash followed by a springboard cross body for a near fall. Miz with a kick to Rey and he tries for a rollup but Rey rolls through and kicks Miz and gets a near fall. Miz with a knee. Rey with a drop toe hold and Miz falls into the ropes. Del Rio gets on the apron to distract Rey. Miz knocks Del Rio off the apron. Rey gets a near fall followed by a rollup for a near fall. Del Rio trips Rey and Miz with an inside cradle for the three count.

Winner: Miz

After the match, Rey goes up the ramp after Del Rio.

After the match, the ding dong goes off and Cole has to apologize to his man crush. Randy Orton will have to face Alex Riley and his partner, former WCW Champion David Arquette.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for the next award and it is going to be presented by Edge.

Edge says that it is an honor to present this Slammy. He says that Kane was supposed to be his co-presenter but he is having his own breakdown. Edge says that he will win the World Title on Sunday. Edge wants a co-presenter, someone he is comfortable with. Someone he has had chemistry with over the years.

Christian comes out and his arm is in a sling. Edge asks how Christian is doing.

Christian says that he hopes Alberto Del Rio wins this award because his peeps haven’t forgotten that Alberto is the reason why he is on the shelf.

"Oh Snap" Meltdown of the Year

The Nominees are

Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
Edge destroys the Raw GM’s computer
Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
Batista quits WWE

The winner is Edge. Edge doesn’t think that is a meltdown. He has always been calm and rational. Edge calls the Raw General Manager gutless and vindictive. Edge talks about having the General Manager putting him in a match against Jack Swagger.

Christian’s phone goes crazy and he says that he got a message from the Raw General Manager. Edge wants to know if Christian is serious and Christian says that he was just trying to calm down Edge.

Edge says that he will be the World Champion on Sunday, but there is one thing that remains the same. And Edge quotes. Michael Cole is still a massive tool.

Michael Cole has a hissy fit about Edge’s comments.

Match Number Five: King Sheamus versus John Morrison

They lock up and Sheamus backs Morrison into the corner and he slaps and kicks Morrison. The referee pulls Sheamus out of the corner. Morrison takes Sheamus down and the referee stops Morrison. The referee has lost control so he calls it a double disqualification.

Double Disqualification

Referees come out to break up Sheamus and Morrison.

The fans want this match to continue but they are not WWE officials.

The noise that isn’t Christian’s phone goes off and Cole says that the issue is not going to be decided tonight. The stakes will be raised. They will meet at TLC and the winner will become the Number One Contender for the WWE Title. The winner will retrieve the contract suspended above the ring. They will meet in a #1 Contender Ladder Match.

Sheamus and Morrison continue to brawl, well Sheamus attacks Morrison and then he yells at the computer. Sheamus grabs a ladder that was at ringside. He brings the ladder into the ring and he hits Morrison in the midsection with it. Sheamus returns to the ring and kicks Morrison in the head. Sheamus tosses Morrison over the top rope and onto the ladder.

We go to commercial.

We are back and You Probably Already Know about the work that WWE does with Make A Wish.

It is time for the next Slammy and the presenters are JTG and William Regal.

JTG throws out a few yo yos and Regal gets us into the nominations.

Knucklehead Moment of the Year

The Nominees are

Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young

The winner is LayCool being beaten by Mae Young.

Michelle and Layla come out to accept their award for losing a match. Layla thanks Mae Young, but she doesn’t think Mae gets USA at her nursing home. Layla says that the award will always be Flawless. Michelle says that it is time for them to win their second Slammy in the Diva of the Year Battle Royal.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Six: Diva of the Year Battle Royal featuring all of the Raw and Smackdown Divas

Michelle kicks some people before the bell rings and Tamina watches and then eliminates Kaitlyn. Rosa is eliminated as well. Melina punches Maryse. Tamina has been eliminated. One of the Bellas has been eliminated. Michelle and Layla sends the other Bella to the floor and they are eliminated. Michelle hits Beth and kicks her in the leg. Natalya eliminates Maryse. Michelle knocks Natalya down. Beth with an elbow to Alicia. Michelle tries to eliminate Kelly but Kelly holds on the apron but Layla kicks Kelly to the floor. Layla is proud of her elimination. Alicia Fox is on the apron and Melina tries to eliminate her. Beth sends Melina to the floor from the Glam Slam position. Natalya with a discus clothesline to Michelle but Gail and Alicia go after Natalya. Beth with a snap mare to Layla and Layla begs for mercy and she gets in the fetal position so Beth kicks her to the floor. Layla grabs Beth’s leg and Michelle hits Beth from behind to eliminate her. Natalya eliminates Alicia and Gail at the same time and then Michelle kicks Natalya to the floor to win the match and the award.

Winner: Michelle McCool

Can we have your attention because Michael Cole has to read something from the General Manager. On Sunday things will be different because at TLC, LayCool will face Natalya and Beth Phoenix in the first ever Divas Tag Team Tables Match.

Edge is walking in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: The continuing adventures of Wile E. Kane and the Edge Runner.

Match Number Seven: Jack Swagger versus Edge

They lock up and Swagger with a knee to the midsection followed by a gutwrench suplex and then he knees Edge in the ribs. Swagger punches Edge and chokes him in the ropes. Swagger with a hard Irish whip and he pushes Edge around. Edge punches Swagger but Swagger with a pump handle gutbuster and then he kicks Edge in the midsection. Swagger starts to work on the arm as he tries to get Edge into a key lock. Edge punches Swagger but Swagger with a big boot and he gets a near fall. Swagger tries for a running power slam but Edge escapes and hits an Edge-o-Matic and both men are down.

Edge with a running forearm and a face plant side slam for a near fall. Swagger gets a near fall. Swagger with the double jump Swagger Bomb and Edge tries to block it but Swagger grabs the ankle. Edge rolls through with a rollup for a near fall. Edge blocks a Doctor Bomb with an Implant DDT. Edge with a spear to Swagger for the three count.

Winner: Edge

Alex Riley and Miz are in the back and Alex wonders if he should be in the ring with Arquette. Miz says that he will be there too. David says that they are ready. Arquette says that there are a lot of similarities between them. He ends it by saying that they are both awesome. Riley says that he has concerns, but Miz says that he has one goal in mind, and that is to put Randy Orton through a table.

We go to commercial.

We are back and CM Punk is admiring his Slammy Award and Michael Cole talks about the Raw versus Smackdown 2011 contest winner for the video game moment of the year.

It is time for the next Slammy and Big Show is out to present it.

Show says that there have been many legendary moments in WWE history, such as Hogan slamming Andre, Jimmy Snuka leaping from the top of the steel cage, or the birth of Austin 3:16.

WWE Moment of the Year

The Nominees are

Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

The winner is Undertaker versus Shawn Michaels from Wrestlemania.

We go to pre-recorded comments from Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in his Gregory Helms hunting gear and he says that he is in a hidden location so WWE won’t ask him to come back. He thanks everyone for making his life so wonderful. Shawn says that it was a tough moment but it was a joy to be a part of many memorable moments. Shawn says that he does not miss it, but he misses the people. Somewhere down the road, maybe they will see each other again.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Eight: Randy Orton versus David Arquette and Alex Riley with The Miz in an is this really a handicap match when you look at who Randy is facing Match

Orton punches Riley and connects with a few European uppercuts. Riley with an Irish whip but Orton with a clothesline and another European uppercut for a near fall. Riley with a punch but Orton with an elbow. Orton with an Irish whip but Riley with a knee. Arquette tags in and hits a double sledge to the back and Orton with a kick and then he gets ready for the RKO with push ups. Riley is tagged in a few times for luck. Riley misses a punch and Orton with a back breaker and then he goes for a knee drop but misses it. Riley with a belly-to-back suplex for a near fall. Riley punches Orton but Orton punches back. Riley kicks Orton in the corner and Arquette chokes Orton. Orton punches Riley but Riley with a kick but Orton with a clothesline or two. Riley with a power slam and then he walks around before hitting an Olympic Slam and then it is push up time. Orton hits the RKO and gets the three count.

Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Miz hits Orton from behind with the briefcase. Miz gets a table from ringside. They set up the table and try for a double suplex but Orton blocks it and pushes Arquette away. Arquette with a thrust kick and Orton looks at Arquette and he does the quart of blood move. Orton with a kick and power bomb of Arquette through the table.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to run through the card for the TLC pay per view on Sunday.

It is time for the next award and it is being presented by Michael Cole. And I quote, because it is time for the ‘And I Quote’ Line of the Year.

The winner is Michael Cole. He says that he is shocked to win and he didn’t expect to win, but he had a few prepared comments. He says that he deserved the award. He continues his speech and then he is played off by the music for Raw.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time for the final Slammy Award and it is being presented by Teddy Long. The final award is for WWE Superstar of the Year.

The Nominees are:

Miz
Randy Orton
Edge
Kane
Rey
John Cena

The winner is John Cena. John says that he is back and he accepts his award. He thanks everyone for not giving up on him. He says that until an hour ago, he didn’t have a job so he is surprised that he won. He was forced to join the Nexus and the only positive was peeing in Wade Barrett’s coffee. He was fired, but he got to tailgate with the WWE Universe and they picked the right city to party. The things that happened were because of him. He says that he will continue to be a man of his word. He has gotten to each and every member of Nexus except for two. David Otunga and Wade Barrett. Tonight, when David Otunga steps in the ring, he doesn’t care who he brings with him, David Otunga is going to get hurt. That will leave just one, Wade Barrett. Cena says that on Sunday, every ounce of frustration and misery will be unleashed. He vows that Wade Barrett will be destroyed.

Before the match starts, Wade Barrett comes out and he reminds Cena of what will happen to him on Sunday.

Match Number Nine: John Cena versus David Otunga in a One More Before Wade Gets It Match

Barrett tells the rest of Nexus to leave and Otunga starts to sweat a little bit.

Cena brings Otunga into the ring and then hits a clothesline. Cena with a chop across the chest and then he chops Otunga in the back. Cena with a gutwrench suplex on Otunga. Cena with a clothesline and then he sends Otunga into the corner. Cena with an Irish whip but he misses a charge. Otunga with a kick and punches to Cena but the referee warns him. Otunga with a punch and then he hits a running back elbow modified pounce for a near fall. Cena with a drop toe hold and he puts Otunga in the STF and Otunga taps out.

Winner: John Cena

After the match, Cena looks at Barrett and tells him one more.

He gets a chair from ringside and he is going to treat Otunga the way he treated Darren Young. Cena with a chair to the midsection and then to the back. Cena with another shot to the back. Cena winds up for the third shot and Otunga goes down one more time. Cena pulls Otunga into the center of the ring and Cena gives Otunga one more because of Barrett.

We go to credits as we thank Louisiana for hosting Raw.

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