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WWE RAW REPORT: ALL HAIL KING SHEAMUS . . . AND ALL HAIL JERRY THE KING LAWLER; DOES EVERYONE GET TO PUNCH MICHAEL COLE ON THEIR BIRTHDAY TOO?; SANTINO AND TAMINA TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

By Richard Trionfo on 2010-11-29 23:07:20
We start off with a look back at the WWE Title match from last week when Randy Orton was weakened for his match with Wade Barrett but Barrett is not able to finish off the Viper. Then we found out that you need to be AWESOME to kill a Viper and The Miz successfully cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase to become the new WWE Champion.

We are live from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and your announcers are Michael ‘Why did they give me Redskins merchandise to wear tonight’ Cole, Jerry ‘I’m calling gimmick infringement’ Lawler, and ‘The King of Straight Edge’ CM Punk.

Michael Cole is a little too happy that the Miz will be here tonight.

The throne, cape, and crown are on the stage for the man who can outlast seven other men.

Alex Riley comes out and he is wearing a suit. He tells everyone that the Miz is the WWE Champion. Alex says that he is honored to be a part of one of the greatest moment in entertainment. It is the same as knowing where you were when man walked on the moon. Alex says that there is nothing left to do but party and Alex says that he ain’t afraid to party. Alex says that he is going to throw one of the most over the top celebrations in history. The show is going A-Ri tonight and it is going to be awesome.

Match Number One: Alberto Del Rio versus Daniel Bryan in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match

Del Rio gives his scarf to Rodriguez and then they lock up and Del Rio backs Bryan into the corner. Del Rio with a kick in the corner and punch. He sends Bryan into the corner and kicks him some more. Del Rio with a side head lock takedown and Bryan gets a near fall with a rollup. Del Rio with a shoulder tackle and then he stands over Bryan before going off the ropes. Bryan with a drop kick to Del Rio and then he gets a near fall. Del Rio sends Bryan into the turnbuckles and then hits a spinebuster but Bryan with a LeBell Lock. Del Rio gets to the ropes and then he goes to the floor as we go to commercial.

We are back and Del Rio has Bryan in a reverse chin lock. We go to footage from the commercial break when Del Rio knocked Bryan off the apron with an enzuigiri. Del Rio takes Bryan to the mat and gets another near fall. Del Rio with knees to the back of the head and then he stomps on Bryan’s head. Del Rio returns to the reverse chin lock. Bryan with forearms to get out of the hold and Del Rio with a slam. Bryan with a kick to the midsection and then he gets a near fall with a rollup. Bryan with a crucifix take down for another near fall. Del Rio with a knee and kick to Bryan. Bryan with a European uppercut or two. Bryan flips over Del Rio and then we get a series of waist locks and standing switches until Bryan hits a German suplex and gets a near fall. Del Rio with a kick but Bryan with a kick to Del Rio.

Bryan with the drop kick into the corner and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan with a series of kicks to the chest but Del Rio with a German suplex and bridge of his own for a two count. Bryan side steps Del Rio and Del Rio goes to the floor. Bryan with a suicide dive and Bryan appears to have hurt his shoulder. Bryan goes up top but misses the missile drop kick. Del Rio waits to pounce and he puts Bryan in the cross arm breaker and Bryan taps.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

We see that Del Rio will face the winner of the John Morrison/Cody Rhodes match.

It is time to take a look back at some of the people who have won the King of the Ring since 1985. We see Edge, Steve Austin, Triple H, Bret Hart, and Brock Lesnar.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did You Know that WWE is available in a lot of homes.

R Truth comes to the ring and he says last week John Cena was forced to quit WWE. He says that he doesn’t care what nobody says, John is still his friend and he went out like a champ. Truth is that when all of this started, he tried to get John to quit on his own terms, but he wasn’t having that. John had to pay the piper too many times and it cost him what he loved and cherished the most . . . the WWE Universe. Nexus may have won the battle but the war hasn’t even started yet. Truth makes a challenge to any member of Nexus to go one on one with him.

Josh wants to get a word from someone in Nexus and Michael McGillicutty says that Truth wants to issue challenges and be a hero. He will show what happens when you issue a challenge to a member of Nexus.

Michael is attacked by someone who wears jean shorts and tennis shoes as the camera is knocked down. We see someone wearing John Cena wrist bands show that we can’t see him as we go to commercial.

We are back Michael Cole is very very very excited that the Miz is the WWE Champion.

Cole, Lawler, and Punk talk about who could have attacked Michael McGillicutty. Punk knows it is John Cena.

Match Number Two: ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes versus ‘Parkour’ John Morrison in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match

They lock up and Morrison with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Morrison tries for a punch but Cody avoids it and then he punches Morrison and chokes him in the corner. Cody misses a charge into the corner and hits the turnbuckles. Cody goes to the floor because someone hit him in the face. Morrison brings him back into the ring and hits a clothesline and then rakes the face with his boot. Rhodes with a clothesline and then he stomps on Morrison and follows it with a punch. Rhodes with a hard Irish whip and gets a near fall. Rhodes with knees as he Irish whips Morrison and then hits a side Russian leg sweep for a near fall. Rhodes with a front face lock with the arms locked. Morrison punches Cody in the midsection and Rhodes kicks Morrison.

Morrison punches Rhodes a number of times in the head and Rhodes backs away. Morrison punches Rhodes in the corner and the referee warns Morrison. Morrison with clotheslines followed by a leg lariat for a near fall. Morrison misses a Shining Wizard and Rhodes gets a rollup for a near fall. Rhodes with an elbow to Morrison and they each go for their springboard moves off the ropes but Morrison is the one who connects. Morrison with a Shining Wizard for the three count.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison advances to face Alberto Del Rio in the semifinals.

We are told that the new Miss USA will be crowning the new King of the Ring.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Three: Drew McIntyre versus Ezekiel Jackson in a King of the Ring Qualifying Match

They lock up and Jackson backs Drew into the corner and they break. They lock up again and Drew sends him into the corner. Drew pie faces Jackson and Zeke punches Drew and takes him down with shoulder tackles. Zeke with a running clothesline into the corner and then he hits a running splash into the corner and Zeke gets a near fall. Drew takes the pad off the turnbuckle and Drew drops Zeke on the exposed turnbuckle and Drew gets a near fall. Drew runs Zeke into the corner and punches him and then hits a clothesline or two in the corner. Drew with a short arm clothesline.

Zeke takes Drew through the ropes and they go to the floor. They fight on the floor and Drew with a Thesz Press and Zeke punches Drew and they are both unable to get back into the ring before the ten count.

Double Count Out

They return to the ring and Drew tries for the Future Shock DDT but Jackson with a back body drop and then he clotheslines Drew over the top rope to the floor.

This means that the winner of the Kofi Kingston/Sheamus match will advance to the finals.

Brie wants to see how Daniel Bryan is doing and Daniel asks him how he is doing. Nikki stops by and they argue. Alex Riley stops by and tells them to get the dancing girls and stop dealing with the nerd. Alex gets a phone call and he tells the Bellas that they are unneeded.

Alex says that Daniel missed out on the biggest opportunity and be mentored by the Miz.

We go to commercial.

We are back and it is time to take a look back at the way that Wade Barrett couldn’t beat Randy Orton after being injured by Nexus only to see Miz do what he couldn’t.

Cole shows the excitement for all three men that Miz will be here soon. Jerry Lawler says that Randy Orton will not be on Raw tonight because of a knee injury.

Miz comes out with his cheerleader a few feet behind him as well as at the announce table.

Miz says that he had a huge celebration planned for tonight, but in the end, he didn’t need the balloons, streamers or pyro because he has something that would describe the World Wide reaction to his victory. First there was shock and we see ‘I Hate the Miz Girl’. Then there was anger, and we see the same girl. Miz says that those two pictures were better than a thousand celebrations. He wants to thank Miz Girl for reminding him of the struggle he made to get to this point. To all of the people at MTV who said he would never be a WWE Superstar. Then there were the people in the locker room who said he would be nothing. To the JBLs, Triple Hs, and John Cenas . . . the Miz is WWE Champion.

Miz says that Randy Orton isn’t here because of a ‘knee’ injury. The only thing injured on Orton is his pride when Orton lost his title. Now Orton is ashamed to show his face. Orton is simply the first in a long list of people he is going to demoralize. When he says something, he will accomplish it. Miz vows to become the longest reigning WWE Champion in history.

Miz says that if you are going to take anything from this speech, if anyone tells you that you can’t live your dreams, you can’t. It takes an exceptional person to prove them wrong. He says that he is nothing like the people in the arena or at home. Miz says that he is one in a billion because he has achieved his dreams.

Two weeks ago, Roddy Piper came to the ring and he said that people in his generation made things happen. Roddy never made anything happen. Miz has Riley hold up the WWE Title book and Miz says that Roddy Piper and Ricky Steamboat have never won the WWE Title.

Jerry Lawler interrupts Miz and says that as someone not on the list of WWE Champions, he congratulates the Miz but points out that Miz beat someone who was attacked by seven other people before he won. It might make him clever and an opportunist, but it doesn’t make Miz awesome.

Miz lets out a Really and he says that it sounds like ramblings of a bitter old man who couldn’t do in four decades what Miz did in one night.

Cole tells Lawler to stop because he is saying bad things about Miz and his victory. Cole narcs on Lawler and says that Lawler called Miz’s victory a fluke. Cole wants to allow Miz to have his moment.

Lawler tells Miz that if he is a champion, he would call out someone who hasn’t been beaten down by seven guys and give them a title match.

Michael Cole says that if Lawler doesn’t stop, Miz might make an example of him.

Lawler says that some of the people who never became WWE Champion because they never had a title match. Jerry says that he has been here since 1993 and has never had a WWE Title match. Lawler tells Miz to be the champion he says he is and give him a title match.

Miz says that is a great idea, but he isn’t in the mood to defend his title tonight.

Lawler says that Miz just verified what he was saying. Miz might be a champion, but he isn’t awesome. He calls Miz a coward.

Miz says that Lawler is a man who never did anything.

Cole has to take away his devotion to the Miz to deal with his pen pal, the Raw General Messenger.

And Cole quotes. Congratulations Miz, what you did last week was impressive, but that was last week and this is tonight. While you might not be interested in defending the WWE Title, but he is. Miz will face Jerry Lawler for the WWE Title.

In three weeks, there is the TLC pay per view. What better way to start the countdown to the pay per view, not only a title match, but a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did You Know who bought tickets for Wrestlemania already?

We are have 33% fewer announcers on this Cyber Monday announcer sale since Jerry Lawler will be getting ready to become the WWE Champion.

Match Number Four: Kofi Kingston versus Sheamus in a King of the Ring Quarterfinal Match . . . Fella

They lock up and Sheamus with a knee and forearm to the back. Sheamus backs Kofi into the ropes and connects with a forearm. They go over the top rope to the floor. Sheamus sends Kofi back in but Kofi kicks Sheamus and punches him. Kofi with another kick but Sheamus with a back breaker and he gets a near fall. Sheamus with kicks and knees to the back and then he hits a short arm clothesline and drops another knee into the back as he works on Kofi’s back with a rear chin lock. Sheamus with a head butt but Kofi with elbows and a back heel kick. Kofi with kicks to the legs and then he kicks Sheamus in the corner with the referee pulling him out of the corenr.

Kofi with chops and a drop kick and a Superman punch. Kofi with the Boom drop for a near fall. Kofi leaps into the corner but Sheamus moves and he sets for the Celtic Cross and Kofi escapes and hits Trouble in Paradise. Sheamus rolls to the apron and then Kofi tries to pull him into the ring but Kofi grabs the ring apron. Sheamus with a knee to the head and then Kofi hits a pendulum kick. Kofi goes up top but Sheamus with a kick to the head for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

Sheamus gets to advance to the finals and wait for the winner of the John Morrison/Alberto Del Rio match.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry versus Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel in a Non Title I forgot those guys are on the Raw Roster Match

Yoshi and Gabriel start things off and Yoshi with an arm drag and drop kick for a near fall. Gabriel with a jawbreaker and he tags in Slater. Slater with kicks after an Irish whip into the corner. Gabriel tags back in and he continues to kick Yoshi. Slater tags in and he punches Yoshi while John Cena goes to his seat in the building.

Gabriel and Slater attack Yoshi. Slater with a snap mare and reverse chin lock. Yoshi tags in Henry and he punches Slater and then he clotheslines Slater and gives him a head butt. Henry with a slam to Slater and then Henry with a splash for a near fall. Yoshi takes Gabriel over the top rope to the floor. Henry charges into boots from Slater. Slater comes off the turnbuckles and he is caught by Henry and Mark hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the three count.

Winners: Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu

After the match, John Cena trespasses and grabs Heath Slater out of the ring and gives him an Attitude Adjustment through the table.

The other surviving members of Nexus comes to ringside but they are too late to get Cena but they help Slater out of the ringside area.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we have an Earlier Tonight montage of what John Cena did so far tonight even though he isn’t a member of the WWE roster any more.

Nexus are in their new shirts and Otunga says that this is a mess because John Cena has been fired. Now Cena has no restrictions. He took out McGillicutty and Slater, now they are sitting ducks.

Wade says that there are no restrictions for what they can do to him as well. Wade says that he is going to call out John Cena.

Jerry Lawler is in the back and Arn Anderson stops by to see if it is true that he has a title match. Arn says that it is long overdue. He wants to tell Jerry that TLC matches are dangerous and you can get hurt in those matches. People won’t think less of him if he doesn’t wrestle in that match. Jerry says he has never been in a TLC match, but he has also never been in a WWE Title match. Arn tells Jerry to beat him.

We go to what is left of the announce table and Cole says that there is no way that Jerry Lawler will walk out of the match and might never walk out again. Punk says that Lawler can pull it out and win the title.

Match Number Six: Alberto Del Rio versus John Morrison in the King of the Ring Semifinal Match

Del Rio has to scoff at his opponent before locking up. Del Rio with kicks to the leg and he pushes Morrison into the corner and connects with an elbow and Irish whip. Morrison with kicks and a missile drop kick for a near fall. Del Rio drops Morrison’s arm on the top rope and he starts to focus on the arm. Del Rio with punches to the arm and then he stomps on the arm and gets a near fall. Del Rio with an arm bar on Morrison but Morrison with forearms. Del Rio with a punch to the head. Morrison with a kick and forearm followed by a leg lariat for a near fall. Del Rio with a waist lock and Morrison with a standing switch but Del Rio with an arm breaker on Morrison. Del Rio with an Irish whip followed by a step up enzuigiri.

Someone is honking the horn in Del Rio’s car and we see Rey Mysterio come out of the car. Morrison with a springboard round kick for the three count.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison advances to the finals to face Sheamus.

Wade Barrett is walking as he prepares to call out a person who is ‘no longer a WWE Superstar’. We go to commercial.

We are back with the WWE Rewind: Wade Barrett losing to Randy Orton last week thanks to John Cena’s actions.

Wade Barrett comes to the ring and he says that John Cena must think that he was born yesterday. He can see through Cena’s plan. Wade says that the Raw General Manager says that he is the only person who can get Cena his job back. He figures that Cena will attack the other members of Nexus and him so John will be given his job back so Wade can get revenge on Cena. Wade says that Cena will never work for WWE again. Wade says that Cena had the element of surprise tonight, but that is now gone.

We go to the back where John Cena says that it isn’t about keeping his job. It is about keeping his word. John says that he lost his job for keeping his word. John reminds Wade that he would take out everyone in Nexus.

Wade wants security to take care of John Cena. John points out that Nexus took care of security so they are in no hurry to stop him.

We see Justin Gabriel, David Otunga (in his hoodie), and Husky Harris are in front of Cena. Cena reminds Nexus that he isn’t their only enemies and a lot of the members of the Raw roster ambush them. Cena gives Justin Gabriel an Attitude Adjustment.

Cena says that it does not stop until he gets his hands on each and every one of them. Cena tells Wade he will see him next week.

We are back and we return to the parking lot where Nexus was ambushed. In case you missed it, here is a video recap.

We see what happened last week between Santino and Tamina in the back.

Match Number Seven: Tamina, Maryse, and Alicia Fox versus Natalya, Melina, and Gail Kim

Melina and Maryse start things off and they get face to face and Maryse face washes her. Melina with punches and then they roll around the ring and Maryse goes to the floor but Melina follows after her. Maryse drops Melina on the top rope to stop her from screaming. Maryse gets a near fall. Alicia tags in and she gingerly slams Melina’s head into the mat. Alicia chokes Melina in the ropes. Melina avoids Alicia but she cannot make the tag. Alicia tries to punch Melina but Melina avoids it and she drops Alicia on her knees.

Santino appears on the stage with a guitar and he serenades Tamina as the ghost of Jillian Hall weeps.

While the action in the ring stops, Tamina takes Santino to the back.

Natalya tags in and clotheslines Alicia a few times and she hits a Michinoku Driver and tries to put Alicia in the Sharpshooter. Maryse attacks Maryse from behind but Gail with a clothesline. Natalya with the sharpshooter and Alicia taps out.

Winners: Gail Kim, Melina, and Natalya

Since he will be wrestling later tonight, we have a video package for the birthday boy Jerry Lawler.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Did You Know the work that WWE does with Make a Wish Foundation?

WE see Ted DiBiase with the new mechanical WWE belt and Maryse enters asking if he is serious that he is playing with a toy instead of going for the real title. Maryse says that Ted tapped out to a geek smaller than her twice. Maryse has something else to say about Santino and Tamina but Ted tells her to shut up.

Husky and Otunga are traveling together in the back and they are making sure that nobody gets them because no one in Nexus is safe. Otunga says that he has a plan for how to fix this situation.

Josh Mathews is in the interview and he is joined by the participants in the finals of the King of the Ring Tournament. Josh says that Sheamus has an advantage because Sheamus has wrestled one fewer match, but John beat Sheamus at Survivor Series. Sheamus says that the victory at Survivor Series was the biggest win of John’s career. Sheamus says that Morrison’s arm is hurt and he will leave nothing left when he is done.

Morrison says that it is convenient that Sheamus got a bye to the finals. Morrison says that it doesn’t matter because at the end of the night, only one man will walk out King of the Ring.

We get the awkward and dramatic stare down before we see the throne and accessories.

We go to commercial.

We are back and The Slammys are back in two weeks . . . and let’s hope that they are nothing like last year’s.

It is time for the guest ring announcer and it is Rima Fakih, Miss USA 2010 and she is accompanied by the anti-arm candy Santino Marella.

We see the path that each man had to get to the finals. Sheamus had to defeat Kofi Kingston and double count out; while John Morrison had to beat Cody Rhodes and Alberto Del Rio (with an assist from Rey Mysterio and his horn honking abilities).

Match Number Eight: John Morrison versus Sheamus in the King of the Ring Finals

They lock up and Sheamus works on the arm but Morrison with knees but Sheamus with a kick that knocks Morrison to the mat. Sheamus works on the injured arm with kicks and knees. Sheamus with an arm bar. Morrison with a kick and he tries for the springboard round kick but Sheamus pushes Morrison into the ropes and then knees Morrison off the apron as we go to commercial.

We are back and Sheamus continues to work on the arm and gets a near fall. We see Sheamus sending Morrison shoulder first into the ringside barrier during the commercial break.

Morrison with punches but Sheamus wraps the bad arm into the ropes and then hits a single arm DDT and gets a near fall. Sheamus with forearms across the chest to wear down Morrison. Sheamus stands over Morrison and then drops a knee and then he puts Morrison in a key lock. We see the empty throne watching the match as Sheamus continues to work on the arm.

Morrison punches and knees Sheamus but Sheamus with a punch and he stays in control of the match. Morrison with punches but Sheamus with a punch of his own. Morrison with a series of forearms followed by a kick and clotheslines. Morrison with a leg lariat for a near fall. Morrison punches Sheamus in the corner. Sheamus pushes Morrison off the turnbuckles and then Sheamus misses the pump kick but Sheamus with a clothesline and he gets a near fall.

Sheamus gets Morrison up for the High Cross but Morrison counters and he tries for a back slide but Sheamus stays on his feet. Morrison with an elbow and then Morrison hits a tornado DDT but Sheamus gets his hand on the rope to stop the count.

Morrison tries for the Shining Wizard but Sheamus kicks Morrison in the thigh. Morrison with a kick when Sheamus tries to send him into the ring post. Morrison goes up top and Sheamus slams him to the mat but he can only get a near fall. Sheamus with a Fujiwara arm bar on Morrison and Morrison gets to his feet. Sheamus with a knee and then he pulls Morrison over his back and he puts Morrison back in the Fujiwara arm bar.

Morrison rolls through and kicks Sheamus. Morrison with an enzuigiri that knocks Sheamus down. Morrison tries for the corkscrew shooting star press but he lands on Sheamus’ knees. Sheamus with the pump kick and then he sets for the High Cross and hits it. Sheamus gets the three count.

Winner: Sheamus

Sheamus goes to the throne area where Miss USA puts on the crown and robe and Sheamus gets his royal scepter.

Sheamus says that finally the royal lineage from the high kings of Ireland has been completed. He says Long Live the King.

We go to commercial.

We are back and the ladders, chairs, and tables are around the ring and the WWE Title belt is above the ring.

Match Number Nine: The Miz with Alex Riley and the briefcase . . . and the Spirit of Michael Cole versus Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler for the WWE Title in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match and for the Sports Fandom Title of Cleveland

They lock up and Miz backs Lawler into the corner and he gives a clean break. Lawler punches Miz and then they circle each other. They lock up again and Miz slams Lawler. Lawler returns the favor with a slam of his own. Miz with a kick and punch followed by kicks and another punch to Lawler. Miz throws Lawler out of the ring and to the floor. Miz grabs a chair and he hits Lawler in the back with it. Lawler takes another chair shot to the back. Miz rolls Lawler back into the ring and he sets up a few chairs in the center of the ring. Miz punches Lawler and then he tries for a suplex onto the chairs but Lawler blocks it and Miz avoids the chairs as well. Miz with a neck breaker combination using the chair. Miz with kicks to the back as he tries to wear down Lawler.

Miz has his manservant bring a ladder into the ring but Miz doesn’t see Lawler recover and he hits Miz repeatedly in the back with the chair. Riley tries to stop Lawler but Jerry punches Riley and then he brings a ladder into the ring but he fights over it with Miz and Lawler hits Miz in the chin with the ladder. Lawler brings the ladder into the ring and he misses Miz when he runs it into the corner. Miz with a forearm to the back and then they avoid the ladder in the corner until Lawler back body drops him onto the ladder. Riley with a clothesline to Lawler. Riley tries to suplex Lawler to the floor but Riley takes a punch from Lawler and he goes through a table.

Lawler sets up the ladder in the center of the ring and he starts to climb but Miz pushes him off. Miz with a boot to the head. Miz with a suplex onto the chair as he works on Lawler’s back. Miz grabs the chair while Punk tells Miz to climb the ladder to win the match. Instead, Miz hits Lawler again with the chair. Miz goes to the top turnbuckle but Lawler crotches him and Lawler tries for a superplex but Miz with a head butt and Lawler goes to the mat. Lawler knocks Miz off the apron and Miz goes through a table.

Lawler is down in the ring but he is next to the ladder. Michael Cole gets up from the announce table and he tries to help Miz up. Lawler climbs the ladder and he is a few feet from the title. Michael Cole grabs Lawler’s leg and Jerry wonders what the heck is going on. Lawler asks Cole and Cole says he didn’t mean it. They circle the ladder and Cole wants to hug it out but Lawler punches Cole and who cares about the title when you can punch Michael Cole.

Miz climbs the ladder and Lawler stops him. They both have their hands on the title. Miz takes some punches from Lawler but Miz hits Lawler with the title belt and then Miz grabs the belt and wins the match.

Winner: The Miz

We go to credits.

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