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RAW REPORT: JOHN CENA DOES NOT MAKE A GOOD TAG TEAM PARTNER; WWE TITLE MATCH ANNOUNCED FOR EXTREME RULES; ORTON VERSUS SWAGGER

By Richard Trionfo on 2010-04-05 23:00:11
We are live from Moline, Illinois and your announcers are Michael ‘Don’t make fun of his name’ Cole and Jerry ‘Make Me’ Lawler.

It is time for the World Champion Jack Swagger to come to the ring and Lawler and Cole talk about how it was the shortest turnaround for someone to cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase. Cole and Lawler also talk about the attempt by Swagger to cash in last week only to take it back.

Swagger tells someone in the back to ‘roll it’ and we see the footage from Smackdown when Jack Swagger took advantage of what Edge did to Chris Jericho to attack Edge and then cash in the Money in the Bank briefcase.

Last Friday on Smackdown he made history by cashing in the contract to become the new World Champion. Before he begins with the State of the World Heavyweight Championship Address, he has a few opening remarks. Last week, he was considering cashing in the contract on WWE Champion John Cena, but he thought that if he is truly going to be recognized for what he is and who he is, a champion, he needed to face a competitor better than John Cena. A competitor who says that he is the best in the world at what he does. That man was Chris Jericho. Swagger says that he would have beaten Cena faster than the nine seconds he needed to beat Chris Jericho. Swagger says that he needs to think about being exclusive to Smackdown because nobody on Raw compares to his abilities.

Before Swagger can continue, John Cena’s music plays and he comes to the ring and he has his WWE Title belt with him.

Cena starts off by congratulating Jack on his victory and calls him the luckiest man in the world. He cashed in a briefcase to become the World Heavyweight Champion. He says that is the easy part. He says that the people don’t care about what you have done. Part of being a champion is the fans looking forward to what you are about to do. Cena says that Swagger said that he is going to Smackdown. Cena says that everyone will be so sorry to see him leave. Cena says that the World Title belongs on Smackdown, but Jack said that nobody could compete with him.

Cena says that there is one Raw superstar in the ring, wearing orange, who is calling Swagger a liar. That Raw superstar is noticing Swagger sweating and he says that Swagger is not championship material. Cena says that he earned the title but Swagger hasn’t earned a thing. He calls Swagger a weasel behind all of the bravado. Cena says that Swagger probably wants to shut him up. Cena challenges Swagger to a match tonight. Cena says that he is so sure what he is going to do to Swagger what he did to Batista (make him tap out) that he is going to put the WWE Title on the line.

Swagger says that does not work for him.

Before he can tell us why, Randy Orton comes out to the ring. Orton tells Cena that Swagger is a competitor so he would want to face the man who beat him last week and that man was him.

Before Swagger says anything, the Shiz comes out and they have a lot of title belts with them. Miz throws out a few ‘reallys’ and suggests that Orton and Cena are trying to steal the spotlight. Miz says that the show isn’t about Orton, Cena, or Swagger. This show is about the Unified Tag Titles.

Before Miz can finish his ‘awesome’, tonight’s Guest Host David Otunga comes out and he lets us know who he is. He says that he is the ‘A List’ and ‘Mr. NXT’. He says that he is the most promising rookie on NXT, but tonight, he is the guest host. He says that tonight’s show will be top notch and ‘A List’ all the way around. Otunga tells Jack Swagger that he will face the man who pinned him last week, Randy Orton. Otunga tells Show and Miz that they will defend the Unified Tag Titles against Batista and John Cena.

Before we go to commercial Orton tries to RKO Cena, but Cena pushes him off and Orton hits an RKO on Swagger. Orton and Cena have a staredown. We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Kofi Kingston versus Sheamus

They lock up and Sheamus with a forearm to the back and then he tries for a power slam but Kofi escapes and he kicks Sheamus but Sheamus catches Kofi on a cross body attempt and he hits a uranage back breaker. Sheamus with a boot to the ribs. Sheamus picks Kofi up and hits a short arm clothesline and gets a near fall. Sheamus with an arm bar and cross face on Kofi but Kofi with punches. Sheamus with a forearm to the back followed by an Irish whip. Sheamus sends Kofi to the apron and he chokes Kofi in the ropes. Kofi with a round kick to the head and then Kofi with a springboard cross body followed by a series of chops. Sheamus with a kick and then he tries to throw Kofi out of the ring but Kofi bounces off the ropes and hits a drop kick. Kofi leaps into the corner and punches Sheamus but Sheamus with a few kicks to Kofi. Sheamus hits the Celtic Cross for the three count.
Winner: Sheamus

After the match, Sheamus finds his pipe under the ring and he brings it into the ring and he hits Kofi in the back of the head with the pipe.

We see Triple H walking in the back and Sheamus knows that he is coming so he shows some fear. We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Sheamus’ attack on Triple H on last week’s Raw.

Sheamus is still in the ring and he has a mic in the hand not holding the pipe. Sheamus says last week, we saw the 25 year career of Shawn Michaels end, but he took eight years to win his first WWE Title. Sheamus says that he won his first title in six months. Sheamus says that he was supposed to end the greatest debut year with a win at Wrestlemania, but that was taken away from him by Triple H. Sheamus says that he took something away from Triple H. He attacked him with a steel pipe from behind. Sheamus says that he knows that Triple H is here. Sheamus says that instead of getting revenge last week, Hunter came out and cried for Shawn Michaels. Sheamus says that Shawn ended his career so he wouldn’t have to face him. At Wrestlemania, Triple H and Shawn Michaels had one great match left in him but Shawn hung it up before he could face Sheamus. Sheamus says that he doesn’t believe that Hunter has one more match left in him. Sheamus wants to know if he will have his head held high or will he be taken out in a wheelchair.

Triple H comes out to the ring and he takes his jacket off and spits some water before getting on the apron. Sheamus wants Hunter to get into the ring, but Hunter stays on the apron and then goes to the floor and backs away. Sheamus says that he didn’t have it in him. Hunter goes under the apron and gets the GameHammer. Sheamus hits the GameHammer with the Irish pipe. Hunter hits Sheamus with the sledge hammer. He misses with another shot and hits the announce table. Sheamus goes into the crowd and Hunter returns to the ring.

Hunter says that it is just like a silly Irishman to bring a pipe to a Sledgehammer fight. Hunter poses on the turnbuckles with Gamey.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Maryse is at the announce table in a Chanel dress to watch the Dress to Impress Match.

Match Number Two: Divas Dress to Impress Battle Royal featuring Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Eve Torres, and Katie Lea Burchill for a Divas Title Match

Rosa is already eliminated as the Bellas get rid of them. One Bella is gone and the other one is eliminated by Aliciia. Gail goes to the apron and Katie with a shoulder. Gail and Katie fight on the apron and Kelly with a drop kick to eliminate both of them. Alicia attacks Kelly from behind while Jillian has Eve on the turnbuckles. Kelly with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors on Alicia. Jillian eliminates Kelly. Alicia and Jillian work together as they try to weaken Eve. They sends Eve into the turnbuckles. Alicia and Jillian with a double suplex on Eve and then they send her into the turnbuckles. Alicia hits the ring post and then Eve eliminates Alicia. Jillian sets for the handspring elbow but Eve gets on the shoulder. Alicia tries to eliminate Eve but she stays on the apron. Jillian charges at Eve and dives at Eve but Eve moves. Jillian hits the floor and Eve wins the match.
Winner: Eve Torres

We go to commercial.

We are back and did you know that Raw was the number 1 show on cable last week.

Jerry and Michael talk about David Otunga being a part of NXT and we have the video package that we have already seen twice on NXT.

We go to comments from David Otunga. He says that he is going to win. He says that he is a touch above since he is from Hollywood. He mentions that he is the fiancée of Jennifer Hudson and he has been to Hollywood parties and has been to the White House. David says that he has no flaws. He compares himself to The Rock, Triple H, and John Cena. He also mentions that he went to Harvard Law School. He says that he doesn’t care what the people think about him. He says that he is not going to fail. He says that he will be the next WWE Superstar.

David is with his minions and he says that he is Raw and then says that he is so raw that you could get food poisoning standing next to him. He mentions the 427 green M&Ms. Santino stops by and he looks for ‘The A Team’. Otunga corrects him and says that he thought Mr. T was going to be here because he is the vice president of the A Team Fan club. Santino does his Mr. T impression. We see Hornswoggle playing with the M&Ms. Hornswoggle leaves and Otunga’s minions follow. Santino says that he loves it when a plan comes together and then he leaves.

Show and Miz are walking in the back and we go to commercial.

Match Number Three: The Shiz (Big Show and Miz) versus Batista and John Cena

Cena and Miz start things off and Cena works on the arm and snap mares Miz and puts him in a reverse chin lock. Miz with elbows but Cena with a drop toe hold but Miz escapes the STF attempt. Show makes the tag and Cena punches Show but Show with a head butt. Show with a punch to the midsection and then he gives Cena a hard Irish whip. Show with a chop in the corner and then Miz tags in and he kicks Cena and punches him. Miz with an Irish whip and he sets for the running clothesline into the corner but Cena moves and Batista goes to the floor and refuses the tag. Batista goes to the back. Cena clotheslines Miz and then Cena goes after Batista and Cena punches Batista. Batista goes to the back and Cena and Batista have been counted out.
Winners: Big Show and Miz

After the match, our guest host comes out and says that Show and Miz are not going to get off that easily. They will be defending their titles again tonight. Since Cena and Batista can’t get along, Cena’s new tag team partner will be him.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Batista costing him and John Cena a shot at the tag titles by getting into a fight on the ramp leading to a count out loss.

We take a look at last week’s Legends Lumberjack Match between Ted DiBiase Junior and Christian and the brawl between the legends on the floor. Then we see Ted walk away from his dad.

Ted has a mic and he says that last week at Wrestlemania, his dad was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Ted says that prestigious honor had a profound effect on his father because he did something that he never did before. He tried to act like a father. Ted tells his dad that one act of random kindness doesn’t make up for the lost years of games, parties, and graduations that he missed. Ted says that his dad knows better than anyone how to win him over and it isn’t through his heart, but through his bank account. He thanks his dad for the trust fund. He says that it is good to be the fortunate son.

Match Number Four: Ted DiBiase with Million Dollar Belt versus Christian

Ted misses a punch but Christian does not miss with his punch. Christian with a back body drop and then he stands on Ted’s back before slingshoting to the floor. Ted is sent to the floor and then Christian with a hesitation drop kick to Ted and then he hits the double jump cross body and both men are down on the floor. Christian tries to get back into the ring but Ted hits a swinging neck breaker and he punches and kicks Christian while the referee warns him. Ted punches Christian and then he hits a running back elbow and gets a near fall. Ted with a reverse chin lock on Christian as he tries to weaken his opponent. Christian punches Ted and hits him in the head but Ted with the follow up clothesline for a near fall. Christian punches Ted but Ted punches him back. DiBiase with an Irish whip but Christian moves when Ted charges into the corner. Christian with a pendulum kick followed by clotheslines. Christian puts Ted on the ropes and goes to the floor and connects with a punch. Christian with a cross body for a near fall. Christian sets for the Killswitch but Ted punches him. Ted misses an attempt at Dream Street. Ted with a snap mare but Christian avoids a kick. Ted blocks a tornado DDT attempt and Christian is sent into the ring post when he charges into the corner and Ted hits Dream Street for the three count.
Winner: Ted DiBiase

We go to commercial.

We are back and the draft is 3 weeks away and it will be a three hour Raw.

It is time to take a look back at Shawn Michaels’ farewell video package.

Cole and Lawler briefly talk about Triple H and what Sheamus did to him last week. Then we go to what happened when we saw that an Irish pipe is no match for the GameHammer.

Randy Orton is walking in the back as he gets ready for his match with Jack Swagger.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Five: Jack Swagger versus Randy Orton

Swagger with a kick and punches to Orton and then he connects with a shoulder in the corner. Swagger with another punch and kick followed by an Irish whip and running clothesline into the corner. Swagger with another Irish whip but Orton moves when Swagger charges into the corner. Orton with a kick and then it is time for the Garvin Stomp followed by a leaping knee drop to the head and he gets a near fall. Orton punches Swagger in the corner but the referee pulls him away. Swagger with a drop down and then he hits a power slam from a dead lift and then he sends Orton to the floor and we go to commercial.

We are back and Orton punches Swagger to get out of a hold and then he hits a series of European uppercuts that sends Swagger to the floor. Orton goes to the floor and he hits a running clothesline on the floor. Orton rolls Swagger back in and then he takes too long to get back into the ring and Swagger drops Orton on the top rope and then Swagger with a running shoulder tackle that knocks Orton off the apron into the ringside barrier. Swagger Irish whips Orton into the ring post. Swagger sends Orton back into the ring and then he hits a belly-to-back suplex for a near fall. Swagger with a suplex to Orton as he continues to wear down Orton and gets a near fall. Swagger puts Orton in an abdominal stretch to work on the back some more. Orton tries to get out of the hold but Swagger holds on and then he locks the arm. Orton with a kick but Swagger tries for a another abdominal stretch but Orton is able to avoid the hold and he sends Swagger to the floor. Orton gets to his feet and then he kicks Swagger as Jack tries to get back into the ring. Orton sets for the IEDDT and hits it. Orton has Swagger covered but Swagger gets his foot on the rope to stop the count. Orton with clotheslines to Swagger followed by a power slam. Orton looks around and he hits the Orton back breaker and then he thinks about the RKO and it is time for the push ups. Orton tries for the RKO but Swagger sends Orton into the ropes and hits a boot to the head but Swagger can only get a two count. Swagger goes for the double jump Vader splash and hits it but he can only get a two count. Swagger waits for Orton to get up and then he tries for another double jump Vader Splash and hits it. Swagger waits for Orton to get up and he tries for the Doctor Bomb but Orton escapes the hold and hits the RKO for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton

After the match, Orton poses but Swagger is still the champion.

Cole and Lawler talk about the tag title match that David Otunga set up earlier tonight and we have highlights. We see Batista leave the ring and cost them the match by count out.

We go to commercial.

We are back and we are reminded that David Hasselhoff is our host next week.

Match Number Six: The Shiz (Big Show and the Miz) versus David Otunga and John Cena for the Unified Tag Titles

Cena and Miz start things out again and they lock up with Cena kicking Miz in the arm. Otunga does something that Batista didn’t do and he tags in. Otunga with a side head lock and shoulder tackle or two. Otunga with another shoulder tackle for a near fall. Cena tags in and he punches Miz. Cena sends Miz into the turnbuckles and hits a bulldog out of the corner and gets a near fall. Cena with another Irish whip but Miz with an elbow. Show hits the referee while Miz distracts the referee. Miz punches Cena in the head and the referee admonishes Miz. Miz with a kick to the head for a near fall. Miz with a front face lock and Show tags in and punches Cena in the ribs. Show with another punch. Cena with punches to the gut and then he tries for a flying shoulder tackle but he bounces off Show. Show stands on Cena’s chest in the corner. Show chokes Cena with his knee and the referee warns him. Miz punches Cena while Show was with the referee. Miz tags in and then Show sends Miz into Cena in the corner and Cena holds his ribs. Miz goes for the running clothesline into the corner and he hits it this time and gets a near fall. Miz with a rear chin lock as he works on Cena’s neck and back. Cena gets to his feet and Otunga wants to tag in but Miz keeps Cena on his half of the ring. Miz with a rear chin lock but Cena gets to his feet and powers out of the hold. Miz with a knee to the back and then they each hit clotheslines and are down in the center of the ring. Cena tries to make the tag and Otunga pulls a Batista and leaves the apron. Show tags in and punches Cena and gets the three count.
Winners: Big Show and the Miz

After the match, Batista enters the ring and he picks up Cena and hits a Batista Bomb.

Batista gets a mic and demands his spotlight.

David Otunga is on the stage and he says that he is still the guest host and he says that Batista has an announcement to make.

Batista stands over Cena and says that he is invoking his rematch clause at Extreme Rules in a Last Man Standing Match.

We go to credits.

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