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As you all know by now, Vince Russo has filed for an order of protection against Jim Cornette on 6/16 at the Posey County Superior Court in the State of Indiana, alleging that he had been a "victim of stalking" by Cornette. The order alleges that Cornette has been stalking and harassing Russo since October 1999, across several states. Russo was in such a terrified state due to the recent YouTube video that Cornette did that he included his wife Amy on the order, keeping Cornette away from her as well.
The decision to file this order was probably made on June 15th, after a conversation that probably never happened (but wouldn’t shock anyone if it did) between Vince and Amy Russo at their log cabin in Evansville, IN after Vince came back from mowing the five and a half acres of what he calls “Redneck Heaven”. Here is a transcription of what was probably never said.
Vince: BRO, BRO, BRO, I need to talk to you Amy.
Amy: Vince I have asked you at least a thousand times to stop calling me Bro.
Vince: That’s right Bro, you did. I would say I am sorry but as you know, I am never wrong. Dixie Carter even proved it when she said everything bad that ever happened in TNA was Dutch Mantell’s fault. I really need call my good friend Jeff Jarrett and tell him that.
Amy: Sure, call Jeff for the 1,000th time. Maybe this time he will take your call. OK, Vince, what is it?
Vince: While I was out mowing the grass, thinking about how I could get Raw back up to a 10 rating, I started thinking about Jim Cornette. Bro, I think he’s dangerous.
Amy: Well Vince, there are certainly Drive Thru attendants that would agree with that. But what is your point?
Vince: The point, bro, is that Cornette went on the social medias and threatened me bro. I had to move here to redneck heaven, and leave my Rocky cutout with the Union Jack beanie behind just to get away from him. Now he has found me again and wants to fight me. I think I need to do something about that bro.
Amy: I do too Vince. I just paid your life insurance premium. When are you going to meet him at that deserted lot? I have plans to make.
Vince: No bro, I am not going to meet him. I am going to take him to court!
Amy: Oh, I don’t like the sound of this. What are you going to do?
Vince: Bro, I am going to file an order of protection against him. Dat way, people will be tawking about me and they will want to come and listen to my podcast on da Relm network to hear the inside story.
Amy: Do you think that is a good idea?
Vince: Ten RATING!
Amy: I really wish you would stop saying that.
Vince: Dis is what I’m tinking bro. I will add you to the order as well, to make me sympathetic.
Amy: Vince, why bring me into it?
Vince: For some reason, a lot of people hate me. I don’t know why, I never did nuttin wrong in my life, but they don’t hate you.
Amy: I have nothing to do with this and Jim has never said or done anything to me.
Vince: Bro, what does da truth got to do with it?
Amy: Are you sure you just can’t go meet him at the lot? He promised he wouldn’t shoot you. He’s a man of his word. I think you have a great chance. You are a former WCW Champion. He isn’t. Did I mention I just paid your life insurance policy?
Vince: Bro, here is da best part. I am gonna say he has been stalking me over the internets, since 1999! Dat will make da judge think he is a really bad guy and grant my order.
Amy: Vince, don’t you realize you worked in two different places with him during that time period and nothing ever happened. He was a few feet away from you and never did a thing.
Vince: He told da Rooster dat he wanted to kill me in his dreams.
Amy: Has Terry every told you about the conversations that we have had about my dreams about you?
Vince: No he hasn’t.
Amy: Good.
Vince: Day were wonderful right Bro?
Amy: Sure, go with that.
Vince: So anyway, I am gonna use the Rooster as a witness and I am tinking about using Mike Tenay as well.
Amy: Why Mike Tenay?
Vince: You know, all dem tings he wrote me in email?
Amy: That was Mike Johnson.
Vince: I always get them misconscrewed.
Amy: I know Vince, that is why we are living in a log cabin in Evansville rather than you having a well paying job, remember? There’s a great lot a mile down the road. Why don’t you give Jim a call and meet him there?
Vince: No Bro, I am taking him to court! You know I have never been wrong about nuttin’ so when I tell da judge dat, they will put Cornette in jail and everyone will want to hear my podcast. Ten rating!
Amy: You do know how restraining orders actually work don’t you?
Vince: I do, I know as much about dem as I do about bookin’ wrestling. In dis case, da restraining order is a prop bro.
Amy: That is becoming pretty clear. What do you hope to get out of this?
Vince: I want everyone to hate Cornette for being a meanie pants and love ME Bro! I have never done nuttin bad to nobody. And I always write “Peace” at the end of my emails.
Amy: I really think that this a bad idea and that you shouldn’t do it.
Vince: Bro, I couldn’t agree more. I am going to file the order tomorrow.
For the one of you (you know who I am talking to Bro) who didn’t realize it, the above was a parody. No need to file a restraining order Bro, it’s all in good fun.
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