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PROGRESS WRESTLING REPORT
CHAPTER 25: UNKNOWN PLEASURES
Sunday 14th February 2016, The Ritz, Manchester
Beginning with the usual Jim Smallman monologue, the show – named after a Joy Division album – begins with a huge 4-way tag team match.
THE ORIGIN (Dave Mastiff & Zack Gibson) vs. SWEET JESUS (William Eaver & Chuck Mambo) vs. THE DAZZLER TEAM (Darrell Allen & Earl Black Jr) vs. DAMO O'CONNOR & JOE COFFEY
The other half of The Origin – Nathan Cruz & El Ligero – currently hold the tag titles. With no clear number one contenders, or perhaps for this half of The Origin to scout potential challengers, we have this massive match to open the show.
Joe Coffey predominately wrestles for Scottish promotion ICW and makes his PROGRESS début here today. The crowd was instantly into him, singing along to Black Sabbath's “Iron Man” in honour of Coffey's nickname. The Dazzler Team have competed on ENDVR shows before, but never on a main PROGRESS Chapter (although Darrell Allen has, several times, as a singles competitor).
Damo and Mastiff are both huge guys and there were a fair few power spots in the match based around their sheer size, including a great moment where the Dazzler Team, Gibson and Coffey attempted double suplexes on Mastiff and Damo, Sweet Jesus attempted to get involved, and then decided against it and stood back watching.
The finish saw a bunch of finishing moves being hit, Chuck Mambo attempting to pin a prone Earl Black, and Gibson running in with a roll up.
WINNERS: THE ORIGIN
We still have no clear challengers to The Origin except for, maybe, the rest of The Origin. After the match, Coffey and Damo completely laid waste to Sweet Jesus and The Dazzler Team.
In a complete change of pace, Jim introduces our second match.
BUBBLEGUM vs. JACK SEXSMITH
Bubblegum is a Manchester talent, known for being rather rude and risqué. Jack Sexsmith is a London talent, known for crossing the line way past rude and risqué! Case in point, his entrance now features a gimp. A fully PVC-clad gimp. Oh, and the small matter of spraying whipped cream into the audience's mouths whilst his theme music – “I Touch Myself” by The Divinyls – blares out.
A lot of this match had to be seen to be believed. Lots of innuendo, lots of naked arses, lots of... well... filth. Sexsmith went for Mr. Cocko – like Mr. Socko but with a condom instead of a sock – but Bubblegum moved and referee Joel Allen nearly got Cocko'd. Bubblegum slipped back in, hit the Ice Cream Headache, and earned his first win in PROGRESS.
WINNER: BUBBLEGUM
MIXED TAG MATCH: SOUTH PACIFIC POWER COUPLE (Dahlia Black & TK Cooper) vs. POLLYANNA & FLASH MORGAN WEBSTER
The first ever mixed tag match in PROGRESS, and it follows on from the issues between Pollyanna and Black/Cooper at Chapter 25. The SPPC can barely keep their hands off each other at the best of times and – with this being Valentine's Day – it's a miracle they didn't just get it on in the centre of the ring.
The match kicked off with Webster colliding with Cooper, before Webster tagged in Pollyanna and we had a very slight amount of man-vs-woman action before Dahlia Black was tagged in and the two ladies went at it.
Pollyanna has issues with both members of The SPPC whilst Webster doesn't, and is here as a friend of Pollyanna to make up the numbers. As such, Webster allowed Pollyanna to do most of the work so she could try and extract revenge. Not to say that Webster stood back and did nothing; but he was very much a background player to the ongoing feud between the others.
Lots of near falls and lots of double-team moves – mostly from The SPPC – but the match ultimately ended with Cooper wrapping a chain around his fist and attempting to knock out Pollyanna, missing and getting knocked out himself, and succumbing to a Morgan Webster 630 Splash.
WINNERS: POLLYANNA & FLASH MORGAN WEBSTER
TIMOTHY THATCHER vs. JACK GALLAGHER
PROGRESS isn't known for using imports much, but when they do it's usually a big deal; such as booking current Evolve Champion Timothy Thatcher against the “well over 400lbs” Jack Gallagher (who, in actuality, is probably less than 200lbs).
This was an incredibly technical encounter, reminiscent of classic British bouts. The kind of match William Regal would be proud of!
After lots of back-and-forth holds, Gallagher locked Thatcher in the King Crab, forcing a submission.
WINNER: JACK GALLAGHER
MIKEY WHIPLASH vs. RAMPAGE BROWN
The second half of the show started with the return of Whiplash, who hasn't been seen at a PROGRESS Chapter since November 2014 (when he was “No Gimmick Required” Michael Gilbert, having renounced his Whiplash persona). Whiplash is now portraying a darker character, with a look inspired by the Rocky Horror Show.
This was an incredibly hard-hitting affair, with a lot of the action taking place outside of the ring. Both wrestlers showed their technical ability though but, in the end, Rampage was victorious with his patented Piledriver.
WINNER: RAMPAGE BROWN
At Chapter 25, Rob Lynch from the London Riots defeated the Sumerian Death Squad's Michael Dante and, as such, got to chose the first stipulation for their tag team grudge match at Chapter 27; tables, ladders and chairs. Tonight saw the next chapter in this feud as their partners faced off in singles competition.
TOMMY END vs. JAMES DAVIS
As with last month's show, the winner of this gets to choose a stipulation for March's show. Even though both members of the SDS are portraying heels, the crowd still seems fairly evenly split between them and the Riots.
Straight out of the gate, Tommy End unleashed a series of huge kicks which would set the tone for the rest of the match. Insanely hard-hitting action from both wrestlers including a series of not one, not two, but THREE topes from the over 250lb James Davis.
I know I probably come off as a stuck record, but this was a back-and-forth contest. In fact, most PROGRESS matches are fairly evenly matched. It helps make the whole of the roster seem important. After this particular back-and-forth contest, Tommy End went for a crucifix but instead locked in a new submission finisher; which was sort of like a Rings of Saturn on a standing opponent.
WINNER: TOMMY END
After requesting a mic, and demanding James Davis get up and watches, End announced his stipulation for next month; the losing team may never team up in PROGRESS again.
Six matches down, and we're onto our main event.
PROGRESS TITLE MATCH: MARTY SCURLL (c) vs. MARK HASKINS
After dethroning Will Ospreay last month, Scurll faces his first challenger who, incidentally, was the first man Ospreay faced after winning the title.
Scurll's ascent into the upper echelons of PROGRESS is well deserved. His wrestling has been superb, and his development of his character – from fun loving and slightly goofy “Party” Marty to the despicable and hated “Villain” – has been second to none.
Similarly, Haskins has also come on leaps and bounds in the past few years. From originally being a heel in the Screw Indy Wrestling faction, Haskins has evolved into a no-nonsense grappler with superb technique.
Both men had a chance to show off their incredible, technical skill but, ultimately, Scurll was the victor with a Chicken Wing submission, retaining the title.
WINNER: MARTY SCURLL
This leads us to Chapter 27: The Lost Art of Suffering – PROGRESS' fourth anniversary show – at the end of March in London. Announced thus far:
SUMERIAN DEATH SQUAD (Tommy End & Michael Dante) vs. LONDON RIOTS (James Davis & Rob Lynch)
After their two singles bouts at Chapters 25 and 26, we now know this will be a TLC match, and the losing team is banned from ever tagging together in PROGRESS again.
NINE MAN THUNDER**STARD MATCH FOR THE PROGRESS TITLE
The Thunderb**tard is a PROGRESS signature match – usually featuring eight competitors and usually with the winner getting a title shot – where a new wrestler enters every two minutes and eliminations can occur via pinfall, submission or disqualification. This particular Thunder**stard will feature eight challengers plus champion Marty Scurll, with the winner taking home the title. The eight men hoping to win the title are:
Will Ospreay (former PROGRESS Champion)
Mark Andrews (former PROGRESS Champion, former PROGRESS Tag Team Champion)
Rampage Brown (former PROGRESS Champion)
Eddie Dennis (former PROGRESS Tag Team Champion)
Paul Robinson (former number one contender)
Mark Haskins (former number one contender)
Zack Gibson (former number one contender)
'Flash' Morgan Webster (former number one contender)
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