We are in Kansas City, Missouri and your announcers are Jerry ‘We had the Kings before Sacramento’ Lawler, Michael ‘Don Denkinger’ Cole, and John ‘We replay finishes on Sunday nights’ Layfield.
An ambulance pulls into the arena as we begin the show and it drives into Alberto Del Rio’s space.
Ryback emerges from the back of the ambulance and we see photos of what happened during the match.
Ryback gets on the ambulance and he says that the match was a no decision last night. As far as the record books indicate, there was no real winner. John Cena might have walked away with the WWE Championship, he did not walk away. He was carried away.
We see John Cena wheeled to the ambulance on a stretcher, but John refused to go to the hospital or see any doctors.
Ryback says that Cena refused to be put into an ambulance, but the next time they meet, he will not refuse.
Ryback says that he is not standing on the ambulance so the idiots will think he is cool. Ryback wants to face John Cena at Payback in an Ambulance Match. It does not matter if you are standing or not. It does not matter if you are breathing or not, you just have to put your opponent in an ambulance.
Ryback says that most of the people would skip the medical facility and go straight to the morgue. Ryback calls everyone weak. He has nothing in common with any of them. You do not realize what it feels like to wake up every day wanting to be the best. He says that everyone is a lost soul of society and you worship John Cena. You want to be like John Cena and John Cena is your hero.
Ryback calls that pathetic. They have nothing in common with John Cena. They know nothing about nutrition or education. You do not know what hard work is. Ryback says that he will take John Cena to the medical facility and to the morgue. He will take everyone to the morgue with John Cena.
There is only one thing in life . . . Ryback Rules.
We are going to find out who Paul Heyman’s new client is, but that is later tonight.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: Miz and Chris Jericho versus Wade Barrett and Fandango (with Summer ‘Not Sue’ Rae)
Barrett tells Fandango to go to the apron so he can start and he faces Jericho. Barrett with a side head lock and shoulder tackle but Jericho with a drop kick. Jericho with chops but Barrett with an elbow. Fandango tags in and he goes after Jericho and punches him. Fandango kicks Jericho and then gives him a hard Irish whip. Fandango with a European uppercut and forearms.
Fandango punches Jericho but Jericho punches back. Jericho with an Irish whip but he runs into a boot from Fandango. Fandango tags Barrett back in because Fandango needs to pose on the apron and Jericho goes to the floor as we go to commercial.
We are back and Barrett with a reverse chin lock on Miz while Fandango and Summer stand on the floor. Miz with a knee to the midsection followed by a running boot to the head. Miz grabs a leg and he goes for the figure four leg lock but Fandango says something on the mic and it confuses everyone in the building.
It is time for some dancing while Miz and Barrett are down on the floor. Barrett yells at the dancing fools and that allows Jericho to tag in and he connects with a shoulder tackle or two but Barrett sends Jericho over the top rope but Jericho goes to the apron and he hits a double sledge from the top. Jericho with a bulldog followed by a Lionsault.
Jericho with a Codebreaker and Jericho decides to tag in Miz who applies the figure four leg lock and Barrett taps out.
Winner: Chris Jericho and Miz
After the match, Jericho and Miz approach Fandango and Summer and Fandango runs through the crowd and he leaves Summer at ringside.
Jericho offers his hand to dance and she accepts. Jericho dips Summer and then he tells Summer to talk to the hand and he leaves.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Vickie Guerrero makes her way onto the stage and she says excuse me about as many times as the referee asked if Del Rio or Swagger wanted to quit. Vickie says that Jack Swagger will be in a match tonight and if you have downloaded the app, you can choose his opponent. The choices are the Great Khali, R Truth, or Randy Orton.
The announcers talk about the decision to restart the I Quit Match.
We also see photos of The Shield holding their new titles.
Daniel Bryan is in the locker room and he is pissed. Kane stops by and he asks if Daniel is ready. Daniel says that he is not the tag team champions, Kane is not the tag team champions, and they are not the tag team champions.
Kane says that this negativity is not working. Daniel says that he feels naked without the titles. Daniel wants to know how Kane can make jokes. Kane says that he is confident and they have a rematch. He says that you cannot show weakness.
Daniel asks Kane if he is implying that he is the weak link.
Kofi interrupts and tells them to calm down.
Match Number Two: Sheamus versus Titus O’Neil (with Darren Young)
They lock up and they go around the ring until they get into the corner and Sheamus with a clean break. Sheamus with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Titus with a side head lock and shoulder tackle and he barks.
Sheamus sends O’Neil to the apron and he connects with a forearm. Sheamus wraps Titus in the ropes and he connects with forearms across the chest. Sheamus kicks Titus in the knee to force him off the apron. Sheamus with a kick to Darren and he sends Darren into the ringside barrier. Titus with a clothesline to Sheamus.
They return to the ring and Titus with a fallaway toss and he utters some nasty words before he gets the near fall. Titus with a head butt and punches followed by kicks in the corner. Sheamus with punches but Titus with a back elbow and he gets a near fall. Titus sends Sheamus back to the mat and he kicks Sheamus.
Titus picks up Sheamus and unfurls him into the mat and gets a near fall. Titus with a quarter nelson and chin lock. Sheamus with boots to Titus as he charges into the corner. Sheamus with two running double sledges followed by a shoulder into the corner and a running knee lift. Sheamus gets Titus on his shoulders but Titus escapes and sends Sheamus to the floor.
Darren grabs Sheamus’ leg when he goes for the slingshot shoulder tackle and Titus with a forearm and he gets a near fall. Titus gets Sheamus up for a power slam but Sheamus escapes and then he gets Titus on his shoulders for White Noise.
Sheamus looks around and he pounds his chest for the Brogue Kick and he connects and gets the three count.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring. Paul says that he understands that when it is a Paul Heyman guy who exposes their heroes, he gets the boos from the crowd. Paul tells them to boo him all they want. Paul asks what it feels like to be powerless. Their boos will never change the historical fact that a true ‘Paul Heyman’ guy, the beast incarnate BROCK LESNAR beat Triple H in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules.
History will not record the boos and jeers for Paul Heyman, they will record that Brock emerged victorious from Extreme Rules. The COO of WWE will go down in history against his client as a loser.
Paul says that his client is enjoying the spoils of war while Hunter had to tuck his sledgehammer between his legs and go home to mommy. It takes a real man to bring a sledgehammer into a cage match against Brock Lesnar.
What will Paul Heyman talk about now that Brock has fulfilled his contractual obligation. It is time to give to the WWE Universe that moment in time when you set your DVRs so you can watch it back ten years later. That was the moment that history took a left turn.
Now is the time to hit record because Paul Heyman presents to you the newest Paul Heyman Guy . . .
Michael McGillicutty, who is now known as Curtis Axel.
Paul thanks everyone for proving him right again. This was the same reaction he warned his client he was going to face. It was the same reaction that people gave to the NCAA Division I Champion, the man who took care of Triple H last night BROCK LESNAR. It is the same reaction they gave him in 2006 when in the new ECW, he presented them the man who would reign for 434 days as WWE Champion, CM Punk.
Paul talks about the heritage and pedigree going for Curtis. Why isn’t this man a superstar already? It is because in WWE, a legacy is not something that gives you nepotistic opportunities, it is an albatross that hangs from your neck. His client is a third generation superstar and he wants to carve his own niche and legend. That is why they have taken his father’s given name Curt and they have paid homage to his grandfather, Larry ‘The Axe’ Hennig, a new name and a new brand that will be known as Curtis Axel.
Triple H’s music plays and he makes his way to the stage and he has the COO of water with him. Hunter makes his way to the ring. Hunter says that Paul can really whip up a batch of Kool-Aid.
Hunter tells Curtis that the adults are talking so he should be quiet. He says that Paul can put whatever spin he wants to put on the match but he should not say that Hunter is embarrassed about last night. He went to war with Brock Lesnar and Brock beat him, just like he beat Brock at Wrestlemania. Brock beat him, but he did not walk away from that battle, he limped from that battle.
Hunter says that he was sitting in the back listening to Paul and what would make him real happy is to beat the crap out of Paul because he can.
Curtis gets in Hunter’s face and he tells Hunter that he does not understand. The game around here has changed. If Hunter wants to talk to Paul, he better talk to him first.
Hunter slaps Curtis and he changed his mind. He is going to have a match tonight with Curtis. When he gets done kicking Axel’s ass, he will kick Paul’s.
We go to commercial.
We are back with the Sonic Shakedown. Jack Swagger being attacked by Alberto Del Rio after Swagger’s match on Monday against Big E Langston.
Coverage continues on next page