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COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: IS GOLD IN THE SHIELD'S FUTURE?; SIX MAN ELIMINATION TAG MATCH; PAUL HEYMAN TALKS; WORLD TITLE MATCH UPDATE; A DANCE OFF WITHOUT MUCH DANCING; AND MORE

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-05-13 23:03:41
Extreme Rules is on Sunday and the two main champions are nursing injuries. Will they be able to compete at the pay per view, and if so, how effective will they be? Things will get extreme tonight when Triple H and Brock Lesnar meet face to face, one week after Brock and Paul Heyman paid a visit to Hunter’s office in Stamford. Things will get even more extreme when Fandango and Chris Jericho . . . DANCE!! Will we get any more matches announced for Sunday’s show? What match will be on the pre-show?

We are in Tulsa, Oklahoma and your announcers are Michael ‘Stone Cold’ Cole, Jerry ‘Aren’t there a few game 7s tonight’ Lawler, and John ‘Stone Cold’ Layfield.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring with the parquet floor and he tells us that Chris Jericho will be facing Fandango at Extreme Rules. Jerry mentions that Fandango won his first match in WWE at Wrestlemania.

Jerry mentions the animosity between Chris and Fandango and since Chris Jericho is a veteran of Dancing with the Stars, what better way to prove who is more EXTREME than a Dance Off.

Fandango comes through the golden shower curtain with Summer Rae and they make their way to the ring first.

Chris Jericho comes to the ring with his dance partner Edyta Sliwinska.

Jerry tells us that each person has 90 seconds to perform their routine and the WWE crowd in Tulsa will be picking the winner. Jerry tells everyone to choose their winner based on their dance skills, not their popularity.

Fandango cuts off Jerry when he mentions the dance off with Brodus Clay. Fandango says that he was not defeated. The crowd knew nothing of talent. The people of Tulsa might not like him, but they have to respect his performance as an artist.

Fandango says that as long as there is a Chris Jericho, there will be a better man and that person is Fandango.

Jerry asks Chris for a response. Chris says that this might be a dance off, but it is still Raw is Jericho. Chris says that he has had some impressive victories on Raw, but there was nothing more impressive than becoming the first musical chairs champion and then he was the first Price is Raw champion in WWE History. He will win this dance off.

On Sunday, Chris says that Fandunghole will be witness to a new dance sensation called the I just kicked your jackass all over this ring. He will dance all over Fandango’s face and he will never never eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever be the same agayne.

The winner of the coin toss was Fandango so he will go first.

Fandango demands silence so he can focus. Summer twists her ankle. Edyta checks on Summer and Fandango tells Edyta that this does not concern her.

Fandango with a kick to Jericho and he punches Jericho. Fandango with another kick and punches. Fandango kicks Jericho to the floor and then he sends Jericho into the announce table. Fandango sends Jericho into the ring steps. Fandango sends Jericho into the ringside barrier. Fandango removes a piece of the Raw Garden’s parquet floor and he waits for Jericho to get up so he can hit Chris with it and he connects with Chris in the head.

Fandango returns to the ring and Summer pops up and she is okay.

Ryback is walking in the back, but is he looking for a dance partner or an opponent?

We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Zack Ryder versus Ryback

Ryback with a kick and forearms to the back. Ryback with another forearm to the back. Ryder tries for a cross body but he bounces off Ryback. Ryder punches Ryback but Ryback with a clothesline. Ryback says that it is over and he gets Ryder up for the marching musclebuster and he gets the three count.

Winner: Ryback

We see a Brock Lesnar/Triple H video package. They will meet face to face tonight.

We go to commercial.

Match Number Two: Brodus Clay and Tensai (with Cameron and Naomi) versus Darren Young and Titus O’Neil

Young and Tensai start things off and Tensai with a punch and then he hits a cannonball into the corner. Young with a forearm and he tags in Titus. Titus with forearms to Tensai in the corner followed by a splash and he barks. Titus with kicks but he tries for a shoulder in the corner but Tensai moves. Clay tags in and he hits two clotheslines followed by a Sheeeplex. Clay with a splash into the corner and then he takes care of Young. Clay with a clothesline and it is time to call his mama.

Young hits Clay in the throat with the afro pick and Titus gets the three count with a rollup.

Winners: Darren Young and Titus O’Neil

We take a look back at last week when Dolph Ziggler suffered a concussion at the foot of Jack Swagger. We will find out what the status of the World Title Match is when we come back.

We are back and Matt Striker brings out Teddy Long and Matt asks him about Dolph Ziggler’s condition since he is not medically cleared to wrestle. Teddy is interrupted by Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. Zeb says that if Dolph cannot wrestle, he should be stripped of the title and it should be given to Swagger.

Langston says that the title isn’t going anywhere. AJ says that Jack should not be rewarded for the what he did. She tells Teddy to fire Swagger.

Teddy says that Dolph will not be stripped of the title. Jack Swagger will face Alberto Del Rio in a Number One Contender’s I Quit Match. Langston will face either Swagger or Del Rio tonight.

Langston wants to know who it is. Teddy says that the WWE Universe will decide on the WWE App.

We are back and Dean Ambrose will face Kofi Kingston for the United States title at Extreme Rules.

Damien Sandow comes out and he says contrary to popular demand, he will not be singing a song this evening because Kofi’s song, much like his reign as US Champion is foolish. Damien demands silence. The founding fathers were men of their word and he will uphold their standards. His reign as United States Champion will soon come to an end.

Match Number Three: Kofi Kingston versus Damien Sandow

Kofi with a rollup for a near fall. Sandow with a knee to the midsection and ribs. Sandow with knees to the midsection and then he hits a side Russian leg sweep. Sandow with the Elbow of Disdain and he connects and gets a near fall. Sandow with an abdominal stretch and forearms to the ribs before locking in the hold.

Kofi reverses the abdominal stretch and he gives Kofi a hip toss. Sandow misses a charge into the corner and he hits the turnbuckles. Kofi with chops and a drop kick. Kofi with a leaping clothesline and then he goes for the Boom Drop and he connects. Kofi with the set for Trouble in Paradise but he turns it into a double jump cross body but Sandow moves and Kofi hits the mat.

Sandow with a running swinging neck breaker. Kofi with Trouble in Paradise for the three count.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Mark Henry walks in the back because that is what he do.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at the Texas Bullrope Match between JBL and Eddie Guerrero from the 2004 Great American Bash (which gave us one of the greatest audios in PWInsider history).

Josh Mathews is in the ring with Mark Henry and Josh mentions the strap match between Mark and Sheamus. We go take a look at why this match is taking place.

Mark asks Josh if he thought that whooping was something, wait until Extreme Rules. Mark says that he will pull Sheamus’ carcass around the ring. If you don’t believe him, we go to the footage of Mark Henry doing what he do by pulling two tractor trailers on Smackdown.

Josh asks Mark how that will help him win on Sunday. Mark says that he will show Josh instead of telling him. Mark tells Josh to put the strap on and Josh does it despite calls from his fellow announcers to leave. Mark says that they will be linked by a twelve foot strap and then he pushes Josh to the mat. Mark says that you go around the ring and touch the corners . . . consecutively. Mark drags Josh around the ring while he touches the four turnbuckles.

Mark suggests that Sheamus come out now because why wait for Extreme Rules. Mark says that he can finish what he started last week.

Sheamus does not come out and Mark says that Sheamus knows where his bread is buttered. . .

Sheamus’ music plays and he brings his buttered bread to the stage.

Sheamus says that Mark may be the strongest in the world, but he is not the brightest. What Mark did on Monday night was not going to stop him from competing at Extreme Rules.

Mark says that Sheamus is doing a lot of talking, but not walking so he wants Sheamus to come to the ring.

Sheamus wants to know if Mark thinks this is a fair fight.

Mark asks Sheamus if he is scared and if he changed his green for yellow.

Sheamus says that he has never walked away from a fight and he makes his way to the ring.

Sheamus tells Lumpy to back his arse up so he can get into the ring.

Sheamus says that he was at ringside earlier and he left a present under the ring for Mark. Sheamus has his own strap and he comes into the ring and they go back and forth hitting each other with the strap until Sheamus gets the advantage.

Henry wants to get his strap back but Sheamus keeps him from getting into the ring to retrieve his strap.

We take a look at what Brock Lesnar did to Vince McMahon after the Royal Rumble.

We go to commercial, but first we take a look at the trailer for 12 Rounds 2.

Coverage Continues on Next Page


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